What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose. - Gilmith of Dol Amroth

Chapter 37

April 65 Fourth Age, Edoras

"... and so I married your grandfather at last. Although it was nothing like I had thought it would be, it was still a very happy day for us... and afterwards, a part of me felt it was the real turn of tides for my dear Éomer. Of course, we still had a long road before us, and there were troubled days to come. But perhaps it was our wedding by the sea that finally helped him to begin to understand", Grandmother spoke, her voice soft and slow.

"Understand what?" Elsunn asked, leaning on the edge of her seat and blinking tears from her eyes.

"That life would go on, and he didn't have to be the prisoner of his memories and of pain", said the old Queen. She let out a small sigh then and wiped a hand across her eyes.

"Perhaps we shall stop here for the night, or what do you think? Your old grandmother is quite tired", she murmured. By now, Elsunn knew not to pester her to continue. One question she did have, however.

"Grandmother?" she asked gingerly.

"What is it, dear?"

"I was thinking before... do you think I could maybe write down your tale? It's a wondrous story, and I believe more people should hear it in full – if only in our family", she said, watching closely the old woman's face for any sign it was a bad idea to ask this.

Grandmother considered her for a while in quiet. Her aged face didn't betray what moved in her mind.

"Hmm. It is not a bad idea, sweetheart. But perhaps you should hear it in full before anything is written down", she said at length and in her eyes there was a strange look.

"Of course", Elsunn said, knowing not to push it.

Though really she would not have wanted to stop yet, it was late again and she knew the old woman needed her rest. So Elsunn got up from her seat and went to give her grandmother a kiss and a hug.

"We'll continue again tomorrow?" she asked. The question brought a soft smile to the Queen's face.

"We will try to, at least. Now go to bed, dear", Lothíriel Queen suggested gently. Elsunn smiled at her, bid goodnight, and then left the chamber – already waiting for when the tale would continue.

"Do you remember when we were young?"

"How could I forget? We were so carefree... so blind of what was to come. I miss those days sometimes."

"I do too, dear Lioness of mine. But life wasn't so bad afterwards either."

"No, it wasn't. We had a lot of things to be happy about. Though I am afraid I'm not quite so pretty as I used to be..."

"You're still beautiful to me."

"Hmph. You're supposed to say that anyway."

He chuckles softly.

"That doesn't mean it's not true, though."

There is a silence, soft and tender; it has been years since these early morning moments were last interrupted by small feet running towards the bed, and giggling sounds thinking they have not been heard yet, and small hands asking for hugs.

"Lothíriel... it has been a good life. It has been a privilege to spend it with you."

Something is not right, though. Something... murmuring at the back of her mind...

"Good life... but you're not really here anymore, are you?"

"A part of me lingers as long as you live."

She knows that is supposed to comfort her. But this moment it doesn't – not much, at least.

"You're gone. You left me."

He looks sorrowful.

"I know. You told me I could go."

"Aye. I told you that. And you needed rest. Why didn't I come with you?"

"You know why you couldn't."

"I do?"

She thinks hard, tries to recall. He looks at her, and his hair, still thick and long though age has turned it white as snow, shines with the sun.

"Tell them, my Queen. Make sure they will remember our tale – give them this one more thing."

"And then I will follow you."

He smiles, and beyond that smile she sees a young man looking at her... that young man she fell in love with a long time ago.

"I will be waiting."

Elsunn had hoped they would indeed carry on the next day, but evidently these past few days had taken their toll, and the healer of the royal household who had come to check up on the old Queen insisted she should spend a day or two just resting. Though Elsunn was disappointed, she knew she had to be patient and let the old woman have her rest. There was something about Grandmother that made the princess forget sometimes how old she really was.

When she spoke with her father the King, he said it was the same for him.

"Your grandmother is a very resilient woman. But perhaps age has caught up with her at last... I suppose it is partly because Father is not here anymore. She misses him more than she shows to those around her. I think that longing is eventually going to take her away from us, rather than any illness", he said softly, reaching to pat Elsunn's shoulder.

"But all that Númenorean and Elvish blood she has... couldn't she live at least ten years or more still?" Elsunn asked worriedly. The idea of a world without her grandmother was a scary one to be honest. And it was wrong as well without Lothíriel Queen shining like the very sun in this heart of the Riddermark, leading and guiding them all.

"Maybe. I don't know, daughter... she has been telling you her and your grandfather's tale, aye?" Father asked.

"She has", she confirmed. "I've been thinking I'd like to write it down, if she permits it."

"Then perhaps you understand what a deep bond there was between them. It always was so, even when I was a child. To do what she did for him... you can't entwine your life with someone else's in such a way without consequences", he said gently, and Elsunn knew not how to answer.

They did not speak more then, for some riders came with news for Father, and he had to attend to his duties as the King.

But Elsunn wandered away and in her mind there was a disquiet as she considered all that she had heard as of late.

"Mother", called a soft voice from beyond the sleep. Slowly, Lothíriel Queen awakened and opened her eyes to see her first-born son there beside her armchair, where she had fallen asleep.

"Elfwine", she greeted him with a smile. "What is it, my son?"

"All is well. Just wanted to see how you are feeling", he replied. "Are you warm enough, Mother? Do you need anything?"

At that she could only smile. Ever since Éomer had died Elfwine had been very attentive of her, taking care of her but rarely making a fuss of it. Perhaps he on some level sensed the hurt in her – the grief that never really went away.

"Once I was asking that question of you, my son. You were such a small baby... but strong you were from the beginning", she said fondly as he sat opposite her. "Odd, that you should now be caring for me."

"I do not think it's odd", Elfwine merely said. A small smile spread on his face, "And you still have the ability to make me feel like a small boy."

"That is the privilege of a mother", she said affectionately and let out a small laugh. She settled more comfortably on her seat and considered the man before her – her son, and the King of Rohan.

In looks Elfwine was like his maternal grandfather. As he had grown into manhood, he had come to resemble Prince Imrahil so much that there were moments when Lothíriel felt like seeing a glimpse from the past. Dark hair he had inherited from his mother's line, but now there was silver in it already. Even having been such a small baby he had grown a tall man, and to her it was no mystery where that came from: his formidable height Elfwine had inherited from Éomer, just as he had his father's strength. But those were not the only things he had given to his heir, for whenever she looked at her son and met his gaze, it was Éomer's eyes she saw.

"Elsunn said you've been telling her the story of your journey. She even says she'd like to write it down with your permission", Elfwine said then. "What do you mean to say to her?"

"I think perhaps enough time has passed now. It could be a good thing", Lothíriel answered at length. Instinctively, her gaze was drawn towards the bow resting on the stand, as though that object was some sort of a fixed point. She spoke again, "It is going to be a tremendous task, however."

"If you're too tired -" Elfwine started, but Lothíriel lifted up a hand to interrupt him before he could continue with that thought.

"Don't worry, my son. There is life in me still", she said gently. Then she sighed and looked away, "Did you know that the ancient Kings of Númenor could choose the moment of their death and give up their life freely? These past two years, I have often envied them for that. But now I feel perhaps it was for a reason I've lingered this long. There is one more thing I need to do before I join your father."

Her son did not speak at first. Instead, he reached for her hand, and she offered it to him. Inside his fingers he enveloped her frailer ones.

"Like I said", he uttered at last, "you do have the skill of making me feel like a small boy... scared that his mother will leave him."

Lothíriel moved with what rapidness she could summon, placing her other too on Elfwine's. She sought his eyes and met them tenderly.

"You are now a king in your own right, Elfwine. And you are doing very well. I am proud of you, and I know your father would be too", she told him in soft tones.

He made small sound that mixed a laughter and something like a sob.

"I don't know if you really understand what unparalleled examples you and father have set. Perhaps you don't see it yourself but you are the soul of this family, you whom they call Lioness", he said, blinking tears from his eyes.

"You are a son of lions, Elfwine. Now the pride is yours to lead. That is the way of the Mortal Men – the old will have to make way for the young sooner or later", she said and reached over to stroke her fingers across his cheek, the way she used to when he was a little boy and she would be telling him stories and singing songs at bedtime.

Her son moved closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her form, carefully as though he thought her very fragile. She returned the show of affection as well as she could.

"I love you, Mother."

"And I love you, my dear Prince."

That night the entire family was gathered for supper. Grandmother sat at the head of the table of course; hers was the place of honour in the middle of them. The rest of the members of the House of Eorl were about her. Father and Mother, Aunt Elfhild who had arrived from Gondor, and Uncle Elred with Ceola of Astdun his wife, and all their children and children's children. The twins – Elsunn's brother-children – were for once behaving rather well.

These suppers had been an essential part of the royal family's life far longer than Elsunn herself had lived. They had started with just Grandfather and Grandmother, until Father had joined them. Then had come her uncle and aunt... until eventually they had grown and started families of their own, and sounds of life had risen high in this chamber for countless nights since. Elfhild had left Rohan to live in Gondor and so she was a rare visitor these days. So was Elsunn's second oldest brother Éothain who served with the Marshal of North-mark, though he travelled to Edoras as often as he could.

At any rate, suppers could be noisy events, with chatter and laughter and sometimes even singing. It was rather crowded too, even around the long table with wooden benches about it. The seats at the heads of the table belonged to Grandmother and Grandfather, but now his place was empty. Elsunn could recall nights of years ago, when she had played at his feet there, until she had got tired and would probably have passed out under the table. But Grandfather had lifted her up in his lap and she remembered falling asleep, her cheek resting against the chest of Éomer Éadig her grandfather.

About the halfway through the meal Elsunn spied a look of the old Queen's face. She had been worrying if her curiosity and pleads for the tale had very much exhausted her, but tonight Grandmother looked to be rather well. She was conversing with Elfhild about something and they laughed, and mirth made the grey eyes of the Queen sparkle and glimmer.

But then the sound of laboured puffing caught Elsunn's attention and she turned to look where Grandfather's seat stood empty, and she saw Little Elfhild her niece climbing on that seat. All gazes fixed on the figure of the child as she struggled to reach the tall chair.

Eadric's wife Wilflede stood up and evidently meant to go and get the child, but Grandmother spoke up in a stronger voice than one might have expected from a woman of her age, though her tone remained gentle. The sound had Wilflede stopping where she was.

"Let her be. He wouldn't mind", said the old Queen calmly. Elsunn let go a breath she hadn't noticed holding; it had been almost two years since Grandfather had passed away and yet now was only the first time that his seat in this table was touched...

She looked at the little girl, made somehow smaller as she sat on the great chair. For a moment she felt like his shade was there, venerable but smiling, looking at his family with warm eyes. She'll never know what it was like – what he was like. She'll grow up with the stories and songs, aye, but she'll never know his voice.

And that moment, Elsunn understood why it was so important that Grandmother let her write down the tale of Lion and his Lady.

Before Grandmother had retired to bed last night, escorted by Uncle Elred, she had touched Elsunn's arm and told her they would continue on the morrow. The princess had grinned happily and hugged the old woman gently before bidding her good night. She had been almost too excited to catch any sleep, but some time after midnight she had finally drifted into dreams of wandering.

As soon as she had eaten breakfast next morning she did head for Grandmother's chamber, but getting there she saw the door slightly ajar, and she couldn't help hearing the conversation her mother was having with the old Queen.

"... a princess should have other things to do than sit all days listening to tales and writing them down! Surely you could hire a scribe or something of the sort for this task?" Mother was saying, which words made Elsunn freeze where she stood – even if she knew eavesdropping was not very nice.

"I have promised this tale to Elsunn, not to any hired scribe. In any case, it was her idea that it should be written down, and there is no one else I'd rather do it than one of my own blood", came Grandmother's calm, firm voice. After all these years she still knew how to sound like she was in command. Then she went on, "I do not know how much longer I have. We must hurry when there is still time, and I still have my wits. My dear, I am asking for this one last thing."

Silence fell, and whether it was because Mother had lost her nerve or if the rest of the conversation went in more hushed tones, Elsunn did not know. But soon it was her mother came out of the chamber. She could tell Mother wasn't entirely pleased with the matter but had given in nonetheless.

"You should go in, daughter. Your grandmother is expecting you", she merely said.

The princess managed a shaky smile before hurrying into the old Queen's chamber. Grandmother sat on her usual spot already, and when Elsunn entered her expression turned into a smile.

"There you are, sweetheart. Please sit down", she urged.

The young woman took a seat as before, but Lothíriel Queen quickly observed there was something on her mind.

"What is it, Elsunn? Has something happened?" she asked gently. She narrowed her eyes, "You heard our conversation, did you not?"

"Aye, I did", Elsunn mumbled, trying to swallow the hard lump that had come from somewhere and formed in her throat. "I... are you dying, Grandmother?"

The old woman's face was fond, if somewhat bittersweet.

"I do not think I'm about to die any time soon, as I feel as good as one so ancient can. But it is true: no one knows the moment of their death beforehand. And I am old indeed, and I will not get any younger. So I have decided that I shall give this tale for you to write down. I only ask it is kept inside the family until after I'm gone", she said slowly, regarding his granddaughter with solemn eyes.

Elsunn nodded right away.

"Of course. I shall do whatever you wish, Grandmother", she said. It brought a smile to the Queen's face and she leaned back in her chair.

"That is good. Perhaps we shall then return to the tale? I spoke of it with your father this morning – he said he had to seriously consider postponing everything he had for today so that he could join us. You see, the part of the tale we are now about to enter has always been his favourite... though I must admit Éomer told it better than I ever could. Some parts – especially that of Silfren – I could never really describe the way he did..." Lothíriel Queen spoke softly, shaking her head like she was remembering something strange.

She let out a small sigh and looked away for a short instance. But then she straightened and again that sharp look entered her eyes, and she started to speak: "When we left our tale, it was the autumn of the last year of the Third Age, and I was at last married to the man I loved. Winter was speeding fast to the western realms, but Éomer and I were in the wandering, and we still had no destination ahead of us. Soon, however, things would start to change..."

End of Part 3

A/N: And here is a new chapter! We have now reached the end of the Part 3, and some time next week I should be able to upload the first chapter of Part 4. The story is now nearing the length of 300 000 words and I am not sure if this means I have a problem or not.

Previously, these interlude-chapters in the present day have been somewhat short when compared to the regular chapters. I guess here I just really got caught with the House of Eorl. I wanted to show what kind of a family Lothíriel and Éomer raised together, and I also wanted to write some interaction between her and their first-born son.

I don't know what you think of that part in italics. I just really liked that bit in the last interlude-chapter where we saw Éomer and Lothíriel as an old couple, and I meant to go for something similar. However, it turned out very much unexpected. I guess you can take it as you wish – whether it's just a dream created by her reminiscing the old days or if some part of him really is there, you may decide for yourself!

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Quote in the beginning originally by Henry Ward Beecher

Inspiration for the chapter: Howard Shore – In Dreams

UntilNeverDawns - Unorthodox weddings are good indeed. :) I'd not say Ceolwen is having hope on Éomer's return, though. After all, she doesn't even know he's alive. It's just that moment his memory stands for their hope.

Talia119 - I agree very much. After the road they've already walked they really needed to marry.

As to how the news from Rohan will reach Éomer... well, maybe we will see in the next chapter. :) I can't really say anything about Elfhelm or Ceolwen either except just wait and see!

Kiiimberly - Glad to hear that! :)

Thalia - Holiday was nice indeed! :)

Ceolwen is apparently really well-liked? Maybe we'll see her again in the next chapter! :)

I suppose it is surprising that Imrahil does nothing. Perhaps the exchange between and Erchirion doesn't really illustrate how it was really his first instinct to go for searching for his daughter, but you could say Aragorn worked his magic a bit and persuaded Imrahil to wait for now.

I thought the marriage really had to take place at that moment, not only for the characters but also for the story itself. It has been postponed too long already as it is. And whether there'll be a feast in Rohan well remain to be seen!

Bowmaiden - Good to hear you liked the chapter! Hope you like this one as well.

Her name is Ceolwen actually. Found that on some Old English name list if I remember correctly.

Éothain is presently still in the Wold. He's not doing much else than waiting, so I haven't really come up with anything to bring him back into the story again.

Starlight - I hope it was a good shock at least!

We will see about the feast in the future. :)

Wondereye - Yes, I thought this was the most realistic way it could take place. As to how soon they will turn towards Rohan again... well, wait and see!

Shadowstorm - I did have a nice break, yes! :)

Yes, Ceolwen does very much know what she wants! I'm hoping to bring her back again in the next chapter.

So a great Rohirric feast is really in demand? :D I'll have to think about that!

MairaElleth - Better later than never! Your comments are always appreciated. :)

We should see more of Ceolwen in the next chapter. :)

Yes, Éomer and Lothíriel have been quite attached for a while now. Like she has thought to herself before, she already feels so close to him that in that marriage doesn't even play such a big part anymore. But it was good for them to make it official finally. Also it seemed appropriate that Amrothos should be one of the witnesses. After all, he did play a part in getting the two together, and also helped Lothíriel to confront and get rid of her fears and doubts.

brandibuckeye - Yes, the matter was long overdue indeed!