30. Master Manipulator and second chances

I drive home trying to clear my head. What should I do about Philip? I took a drink from my water bottle. I wanted nothing more than a regular coke or tea. But caffeine was not good for the baby. Neither was all this stress, I thought. I walked into the apartment and it felt cold and empty. All of Shane's things were gone, and he was nowhere to be found. His truck was gone. Had he already decided to move out? Maybe me having Philip's baby was too much for him? Or maybe he had seen that kiss in the parking lot? I reached into my purse and picked up my cell phone. I had to made sure Shane knew he was the only one for me. I hold the phone up to my ear and wait for him to answer.

"Andrea," Shane breathes.

"I know what you saw, but it's not what you think. I told Philip my future is with you," I said softly. Please come home, I think to myself. Say it Andrea. But somehow I can't find the words.

"I wish I could believe that Andrea. But I saw the way you looked at him. The way you looked at Philip. You were staring at him so intensely. There are clearly still feelings there," Shane said angrily.

"Of course I care about. We are having a child together, but I am telling you that you are the one. It was only a kiss."

"How can I believe that? I just can't do this anymore.I don't trust you. It's over," Shane says hanging up the phone.

Of course he couldn't. How could I expect Shane to marry me while I was having Philip's baby? The idea of having an abortion comes to my mind again. But I realize Philip was right. I could never do that. Not that I would judge anyone who did, but I loved this baby. Even more than Shane. Looks, like it is just you and me baby E. I better think of a boy name too, I think touching my stomach. Suddenly there is a knock at a door. I walk over and open it. I see Philip looking me right in the eyes.

"Your wallet fell out of your purse and I figured I better bring it back to you," Philip whispered.

"Is that what really happened?"

"No, I took out so I have a reason to come here," Philip says glazing in my eyes.

"A moment of sincerity," I said giving him a small smile. I find myself wiping tears from my cheeks. I didn't want to cry, but a life without Shane was hard to imagine.

"Well, I shouldn't have done that."

"I am glad you're here though," I said in a soft voice.

"Where is Shane?"

"He saw that kiss, and he left."

"I am sorry Andrea," Philip murmurs.

"No, your not," I said leaning close to him.

"Well, I am sorry Shane hurt you," He says placing his hands on my face.

"I can't blame him."

"Andrea, it was only a kiss."

"It's not just a kiss. It's the baby. Who would want to marry someone having another man's baby? No one could look pass that," I said allowing Philip to hold me. I should be fighting my desires for him. With Shane or not Philip's actions had been crazy over the last few months. This relationship between Philip and I could be dangerous to say the least. Yet, I knew I was addicted. Shane was gone and like any drug addict I wanted my fix.

"I would. If this was Shane's baby I still want you," Philip says kissing my forehead.

"You want to come in?"

"If you want me to," Philip said calmly.

"I don't want to be alone," I admitted.

"But do you want to be with me?"

"Yeah, I do," I fill my skin turning red. It's a good thing Michonne moved out, I thought. She would be kicking Philip out before I even let him in the door. I knew my friends were right about him. Philip I been acting like a madman, but I had hurt him. He wasn't a bad person, I told myself. The last two months had been hell for him. All Philip ever wanted to do was love me. Maybe if it was over with Shane, I could give Philip another chance.

"You are being so nice to me, and I guess I am not used to it," Philip said smiling unsure.

"You were honest with me. I like it when you aren't playing mind game," I said linking my fingers with his.

"Andrea, I don't play mind games," Philip denied as came in my apartment , and shuts the door. I watched as he locks the door. Why is he doing that? To keep Shane out? Doesn't he know that Shane has a key? Maybe, he wants to keep me inside?

"You know how you can be," I said looking into his eyes.

"How is that?"

"You are a master manipulator," I flush more. Honestly, I was feeling a little crazy myself. One minute I am crying over Shane, and the next I am alone with Philip. My ex boyfriend who could be a little unbalanced to say the least. Never, had I been this honest with Philip. Our short time together was mainly focused on sex, and going a way for weekends.

"Some people don't know what they want, and they need someone like me to help them decide. That's not manipulation. I am an opportunist if anything," Philip said his hands on my back. Slowly his hands were placed on my face. His lips pressed against mine.

Stop Andrea, you can't sleep with Philip. Shane just broke up with you, and you could get back together. If you do this now it will all be over. You love Shane. And this may feel right now. But you will regret it later. That was what the voice in my head said over and over. I should listen but I don't. I kiss Philip back.

He moves slowly, removing my striped tee-shirt. His body moves against mine, and I become a aware of his erection rubbing against my hip.

"I want you," I whisper in his ear.

"Love me Andrea. Save me from my solitude," Philip is begging me. What is it about me that draws him to me. I want him because he is beautiful, but I am such a normal looking girl. Why does he want me?

"I can't save anyone, but if you want to be with me no more manipulation. I want honesty. You seem like you have changed. Is it possible?"

"Yes. I won't lie to you again," Philip promises pressing his lips to mine again. He starts kissing my body, and I am tingling all over. Being with Philip was exciting, and almost dangerous. The only person who could stop me now was Shane. Because there was no turning back now. I was already imaging Philip's naked body wrapped around mine. Would my hungry for Philip ever end? Did I want it too?

"If you keep that promise I think we have a real chance of working," I admit.

"And Shane?"

"Maybe we just aren't meant to last. This is the second breakup. We keep giving up on each other, but you never gave up on me," I said running my fingers through his brown hair that had gray showing through.

"Never. No matter how hopeless it looked for me. And no matter how many people said I was losing it. I never stopped fighting for us," Philip grins.

"I like that you never gave up. But no more stalking or lies," I said as he gazes down at me.

"I promise Miss Andrea," Philip says taking me into his arms. Somehow, I felt like I belonged there in those strong. Maybe I could love Philip. We could have our family. But he have to keep his promise. Philip laid me on the bed, and started to kiss my body. He wanted to make love now.

"Wait," I said taking off my engagement ring from Shane. Philip watched carefully as I placed the ring on the nightstand. I laid back on the bed and went back into Philip's arms. He said nothing, but his face showed that he appreciated me taking of the ring. I had to pick one before the baby got here. I won't keep going back and forth, I promised myself.

"You're doing the right thing," Philip said kissing my lips.

I hope so, I think getting back into the bed with him. His hands cover me, and I know I am giving into him again. Philip is my sweet addiction, I was

afraid I would never get enough of him. And he wasn't good for me.