tentacleTherapist's computer screen showed a view of John's bedroom, with the game interface above it. There was a green navigation bubble in the upper left corner, and a bar with some different options for her to click on.
There was the regular selection cursor, shaped like the green SBURB house logo, the revision and deployment cursors, something called the Phernalia Registry, Grist Cache, Alchemy Excursus and Explore Atheneum.
She clicked on the Selection cursor, and used it to move John's magic chest. With it in the possession of her cursor, she navigated to the outside view of the Egbert home and dropped the chest onto the roof.
EB: whoa, what are you doing?
TT: Sorry. I'm just getting a feel for the controls.
EB: is my magic chest on the roof now?
TT: Yes.
EB: :(
TT: I will try to be more careful next time.
In the place where the chest had previously been was a pink card. It was John's missing stack fetch modus! It must have been under the chest this whole time.
He quickly reapplied it to his sylladex.
Now he could opt for either the stack or queue modus at any time. With gleeful abandon, John toggled between his fetch modi.
A sound of a car engine was heard.
John went to the window and looked outside.
It looked like his dad was leaving again for more baking supplies. He was relieved to have the house to himself again, if only for a few minutes.
He just hoped he didn't notice the magic chest on the roof. Or all the shit he had thrown out the window, for that matter.
EB: hey, do you think you could do me a favor?
EB: can you grab all that stuff outside my broken window and bring it in for me?
TT: I'll give it a shot.
EB: thx!
TT: No luck.
TT: It appears to be out of range. I'm guessing it is too far away from you, the "player".
EB: :C
After failing at her attempt to retrieve John's items, TT thought she would try selecting John himself, for the fun of it. But one could not select a player!
John abjured the meddlesome cursor.
Instead, she selected the stuffed bunny on his bed and put it back in the box.
John grinned in delight.
Now it was time to make some revisions.
She clicked on the Revision cursor and dragged out a new section in John's room. The addition stuck out of the top floor of the house.
She then opened the Phernalia Registry, revealing three strange machines to choose from – the Cruxtruder, Totem Lathe and Alchemiter.
In the new area of the room she deployed the Totem Lathe.
John looked at it, confused. He didn't know what the heck this thing did, but it looked neat!
Next, TT opened the Grist Cache. It opened a screen with numerous slots, but only five were currently unlocked and visible. There were blue, purple, white, yellow and green grist that she could see, but they currently only had 16/20 of the blue grist.
TT: It seems expanding the dimensions of your room cost us some "Build Grist".
TT: But deploying the lathe did not appear to incur any expense.
TT: It looks like certain objects are freebies, probably to help you set up the game.
EB: wow, ok.
EB: what do they do?
TT: I think it's up to you to find out.
TT: All I can do is drop stuff in your house, and move it around, apparently.
EB: how do i move stuff around? it sounds fun!
TT: I don't think you can as the client. You will need to install the server application.
TT: You should have received both in separate envelopes. I am running both on my computer right now.
EB: what?
TT: Did you get another envelope in the mail?
EB: no!
TT: Once you install the server and establish a connection, I'm sure you will be able to manipulate my environment in the same manner.
TT: Are you sure you didn't get it?
EB: oh man.
EB: i think i might know where it is.
John thought of the green package and what looked to be an envelope that he had seen in his dad's car earlier.
TT: Now that your room is bigger, why don't you move to the far corner?
TT: It will extend the range of the cursor, and I can reach the items.
TT: Which... you threw out the window for some reason?
EB: good idea!
TT: What have you been doing in here all afternoon, anyway?
EB: ugh, i was fussing with my retarded sylladex.
EB: but i think i have it under control now.
EB: what modus do you use?
TT: I like to use trees.
EB: oh no, that sounds so awkward.
TT: It's not exceptionally practical.
TT: But I think they are elegant.
He went to go stand in the corner as TT brought up his items, smiling as they were placed beside him.
After she had done that, TT went to deploy another machine, seeing that a new option was available as well – the Pre-punched Card.
Clicking on the Cruxtruder, she placed the large machine in front of the front door down in the living room. And then she put the Alchemiter, the largest of all the machines, out back on the upstairs balcony.
In the process she saw that another machine, the Punch Designix was available at the cost of 4 purple grist.
EB: why is the floor shaking?
EB: are you dropping more stuff in my house?
TT: Yes. Two more large gizmos.
EB: sweet!
EB: what is with all these big contraptions?
TT: If I had to guess, they appear to facilitate a sort of system involving punch card-based alchemy.
EB: huh.
EB: to what end?
EB: i mean what are we supposed to be doing in this game?
TT: That remains to be seen.
TT: Maybe you should go investigate?
John grabbed his dad's PDA, switching back to stack modus so it was readily accessible.
The interface was oddly sterile. No hilarious clown wallpapers or anything like that. (Oops, I mean harlequin wallpapers.)
The SERIOUS BUSINESS application was open. It seemed Dad used it to keep tabs on various acquaintances... his fellow street performers, maybe?
John couldn't help but to read through it a little bit.
The following matters have been submitted in a frank and forthright manner for pipefan413's judicious appraisal.
f grayslacks66 – 17:24
Decided to return home for fresh tie. Soiled tie will be laundered immediately upon return.
f wellPressedAttire – 17:23
Use ballpoint pen to roll up tip of cloth. Extract pen. Press rolled cloth against ceramic surface, e.g. restroom sink. In future: consider repositioning hat hook and/or coffee pot.
f officeurchin1280 – 17:23
Photographic documentation of incident?
f grayslacks66 – 17:22
Was posturing unevenly to reach for hat on wall hook. Tip of tie slipped in open mouth of pot. Duration of "dunk": approx. 3 seconds.
f 2busy4this – 17:22
pl elab on 'incident'
f grayslacks66 – 17:21
Need counsel on removing coffee from necktie. Incident occurred 45 seconds ago. Beverage essences rapidly settling into fabric.
He guessed the performing arts must be pretty serious business after all.
He closed out the SERIOUS BUSINESS app and installed Pesterchum. It should be useful. Now he could keep tabs on his chums while he wandered around the house.
Stepping out to the balcony, John stood beside the massive alchemiter.
EB: hey, i'm out on the balcony now.
EB: i am messaging from my dad's pda.
TT: The one you threw into the yard?
EB: no, i am telling you.
EB: it jumped out of my sylladex like a frightened weasel.
TT: What were you doing with it in the first place?
TT: I am not sensing a lot of regard for the personal property of others.
TT: Is this how your pent-up frustration with your father manifests itself?
EB: what? no.
EB: those were all accidents.
EB: please take your psycho-babblery elsewhere, miss!
TT: Your bathroom is a mess.
TT: Did you do that too?
EB: oh man, see this isn't cool.
EB: all this snooping nonsense!
TT: There's a cake in the toilet.
EB: yes. there is.
TT: I'm tempted to clean it up for you.
EB: ok, if that will satisfy your weird ocd complex then go ahead.
TT: My Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder complex?
TT: Can a disorder also be a complex?
EB: in your case, probably!
TT: Sounds complicated.
EB: anyway...
EB: i am going to have a look at this enormous platformy thing you put on the balcony.
John had no idea what to do with this thing. He couldn't find any controls for it.
Having exhausted all other possibilities, he just decided to stand on it.
After a few seconds he climbed off, and peered through his telescope.
It was a clear, sunny day. Nothing out of the ordinary to report. At least, not beyond the walls of his own home.
Meanwhile, TT decided she would do some tidying up around John's house and picked up the cake soiled toilet in the bathroom. But, in doing so she pried the entire thing out, including the floor where it had been.
TT: Whoops.
EB: whoops what?
She dragged the mess out into the yard, and set it next to the pogo-ride.
EB: what was that noise?
EB: is this something i should go investigate?
TT: No, I have it under control.
TT: You can keep playing with your telescope.
John disregarded her suggestion and went to investigate anyway. He thought he would look in the bathroom first, since it sounded like the noise had come from there.
EB: augh!
TT: I think I can patch it up.
TT: Just give me a little space.
TT: Why don't you go have a look at the Cruxtruder?
EB: the what?
TT: The thing I put in your living room.
He approached the newly formed hole in his bathroom floor and looked down. He could see straight through to the floor below!
He hopped down the hole, landing on the dryer in the utility room.
On the floor lay a sledgehammer and green captchalogue card.
John took the two items, combining them and quickly applying it to his strife specibus.
He thought it was cool that things didn't always have to be a federal fucking issue.
The PDA beeped at him from his sylladex.
It looked like another one of his chums was pestering him.
- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:25 -
GG: john did you get my package?
EB: oh hey!
EB: no, not yet.
GG: darn! are you sure? it was in a green box...
EB: oh!
EB: yes, but it is in my dad's car and he is still out at the store.
EB: he should be back soon.
GG: great! so what are you up to today?
EB: i am up to my neck in this sburb stuff.
EB: TT is making a royal mess of my house.
GG: lol!
GG: whats sburb?
EB: oh, it is this game.
EB: it's ok i guess. i'm still figuring it out.
GG: whoa what was that?
EB: what was what?
GG: there was a loud noise outside my house!
GG: it sounded like an explosion!
EB: wow, really?
GG: i will go outside and look...
EB: oh man, alright but be careful, ok?
GG: i will! :)
- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:28 –
John figured he might as well check out the Cruxtruder now and headed into the living room.
EB: oh hell no, you put this thing in front of the door?
TT: There's a door there?
EB: um, YEAH?
TT: I didn't see it.
TT: I just thought it fit nicely into that groove.
EB: you mean you thought it was elegant?
EB: ok well what do i do with this thing.
EB: hello?
EB: what are you doing up there now?
TT attempted to move the bathtub over the spot where the toilet had been, but just made another gaping hole in the floor.
TT: Oh fuck.
Looking at the Cruxtruder, John noticed a small wheel near the top. When he turned the wheel, something seemed to be pushing up from underneath the lid. But he wasn't strong enough to make the lid come off.
Still dealing with the tub, TT tried moving it to the driveway. But on its journey, the connection was interrupted and the tub fell onto the upstairs landing with a thud.
John turned around when he heard the noise. What was that doing there? Whatever the reason, he thought, he should at least go sit in it for humorous purposes.
And he did.
EB: you can see me, right.
EB: tell me what is wrong with this picture.
TT: Sorry. I keep losing the wireless signal.
TT: Must be the weather.
TT: I would look for a stronger signal in another part of the house, but I'd rather not risk an encounter with my mother.
TT: I battled through her cloud of gin and derision once already this evening.
EB: haha, yeah I hear you.
TT: Yes. Cake, jesters, unfaltering love and support.
TT: Quite a road to hoe there.
TT: Though I suppose I'm complicit for not informing Social Services about your situation.
EB: i know!
EB: what about going outside?
EB: maybe you could catch a neighbor's signal.
TT: That presents the same problem.
TT: Also, it's raining, remember?
TT: And dark.
EB: It's dark already?
TT: Yes, the sun has already had its way with us here on the east coast.
TT: Its lurid glare has moved on to younger timezones.
EB: haha, um, ok.
Returning once more to the Cruxtruder, John got out his sledgehammer, intending to hit the lid with it. But he struggled in being able to swing it – this hammer was not a light object!
TT: Need some help?
TT used the cursor to click on John's hammer and bring it up to whack the lid of the Cruxtruder. As soon as she did so, the lid popped off and light came flashing out of the top followed by a strange object.
It was circular, and floated above the Cruxtruder as it flashed blue, black and white, its pattern constantly in a state of movement.
In the middle of the machine, a new panel lit up displaying a countdown at 4:13 and going down by the second.
EB: what is this thing?
EB: and what is that clock counting down to?
TT: I've been looking at the GameFAQ walkthroughs to figure some of this stuff out.
TT: Hold while I read further.
EB: ok.
TT: All of these walkthroughs are extremely short.
TT: None progress much further than this point.
EB: weird.
EB: well, i mean it is a new game.
TT: True.
TT: Now that the lid is off, you will need to extrude some "Cruxite".
John went to try and turn the wheel again. This time, a cyan colored cylinder popped out – the Cruxite Dowel.
He quickly captchalogued it.
TT: I feel like we should be hurrying. That countdown is making me nervous.
TT: John?
TT: Oh. Your PDA is trapped under the cruxite now, isn't it.
TT: Anyway, it looks like you are going to need this card too.
She deployed the Pre-punched Card and placed it in front of John. It was full of mechanically punched holes and had what appeared to be an image of an apple on it.
He added it to his sylladex, expelling a shard of glass in the process and maiming the nearby harlequin doll.
Then he picked up two fanciful harlequins from his dad's shelf, causing more glass to fly from the deck. One shard sliced through the doll's left eye on its way out.
The additional useless freight pushed his PDA to the last card. John then switched to the queue modus so he could access it.
Beside him, the circular thing from the Cruxtruder frantically spewed out symbols and noises.
EB: this thing keeps following me around.
EB: i think it's trying to talk to me or something.
TT: That is probably the "Kernelsprite".
TT: It apparently needs to be "prototyped".
TT: Twice, actually.
TT: Whatever the hell that means.
TT: These walkthroughs are horrendously written.
EB: hmm, ok.
EB: well, you are the one with the cursor so just do whatever you think is the right thing to do!
EB: also, fix my bathroom.
Grabbing the maimed harlequin doll with the cursor, TT dragged it over to the Kernelsprite and dropped it on top of it.
The Kernelsprite went crazy and it lit up the room once again with a bright light.