The Kernelsprite had been prototyped with the harlequin doll.
It now appeared as the floating blue head of the maimed doll with its one menacing arm raised in a mocking sort of way.
EB: i still can't understand this thing's gobbledygook.
TT: That was only "Tier One Prototyping".
TT: There is still another tier to the prototyping process.
TT: Which for all we know merely advances this entity through increasingly esoteric states of linguistics.
EB: the clock is ticking.
EB: we don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery.
TT: This unmitigated poppycock?
EB: extravagant hogwash!
EB: ok stop
EB: stop typing whatever silly thing you're typing.
EB: i'm going upstairs to the big platformy thing.
TT: The alchemiter?
EB: ?
TT: Try to learn the lingo.
Returning to the upstairs balcony, John examined the Alchemiter. But there was no slot for a card anywhere to be found on it!
The Kernelsprite followed him upstairs.
TT opened up the Atheneum and noticed that acquiring a Cruxite Dowel seemed to have populated the Atheneum with one item: a Perfectly Generic Object, which just looked like a plain green cube.
John snatched the telescope from its tripod, captchaloguing it. Who knows, it might prove to be useful. But more importantly, it pushed the cruxite to the last card making it available for tinkering.
In doing so, the PDA was predictably jettisoned into the yard and over the neighbor's fence.
He then placed the Cruxite Dowel on the weird pattern that covered the Alchemiter's small pedestal.
Something began to happen.
The long arm of the machine unfurled and began scanning the dowel with a red laser.
The center platform then glowed for a brief moment before three green cubes appeared out of thin air.
He had set the Alchemiter to cast three (3) Perfectly Generic Objects for some reason, expending a total of 6 units of Build Grist.
These things looked completely useless. What a waste!
Out of the corner of his eye, John noticed there was something in the sky.
He switched his sylladex back to Stack Modus and got a closer look with his telescope.
Whatever it was, the Kernelsprite seemed particularly agitated about it. It shook violently as it rapidly flashed blue, white and black.
Through the telescope John saw what appeared to be some sort of shooting star.
No, it was a blazing meteor headed to earth!
Downstairs, the countdown on the Cruxtruder continued winding down each second, now at 3:09.
John was no astronomer, but its trajectory looked suspiciously head-on with his current perspective.
He swallowed nervously. This was a troubling development.
The Kernelsprite floated nearby with its arm raised, and John cautiously gave it a high-five. He figured he had left it hanging long enough.
In a momentary lapse of judgment, John mulled over the idea of ingesting a unit of Build Grist.
It was tempting because they strongly resembled Rockin' Blue Raspberry Gushers. However, units of Build Grist were a gaming abstraction and did not seem to exist on the physical plane!
There was apparently no crisis so imminent that would deter him from contemplating idiotic and frivolous actions.
Dad had returned and pulled the car into the driveway.
TT: Your dad is getting home.
TT: John?
TT: What did you do with your PDA this time?
TT: I'm working on the bathroom.
TT: But we are running low on Build Grist.
TT took her cursor and dragged out a new floor for the bathroom, filling in the holes she had made previously.
Meanwhile, Dad walked up to the front door to try and get in the house, but found that the door would not move.
Perplexed, he went into the yard and saw the toilet sitting there, cake filled and all. This only caused him more confusion.
Running to his room, John looked at his computer and saw that two chums had been trying to message him.
TT: I'm working on the bathroom.
TT: But we are running low on Build Grist.
EB: oh man who cares about the bathroom, now there's a meteor heading for my house!
TT: I see.
TT: Do you suppose it has anything to do with the game?
EB: i don't know, maybe! what do i do!
TT: I think it's very likely.
TT: The walkthroughs vaguely suggest an impending threat before they end.
TT: The already poorly constructed sentences become even more curt and ambiguous.
TT: As if written hastily and with a sense of alarm.
TT: Actually, their dedication to updating the walkthrough under such circumstances is admirable.
EB: wow, FASCINATING.
EB: ?
TT: If the meteor is a game construct, I think the only thing to do is to proceed, and try to solve the dilemma on the game's terms.
TT: Try using the lathe.
TT: It says you can use the card on it, but isn't more specific than that.
EB: ok i'll do that.
TT: Really, it is a labor to read this drivel.
TT: If I read any more my brain will need to be spoon-fed from a jar.
TT: While it blows spit bubbles in a highchair.
TT: I think I will write my own walkthrough.
TT: That is, after we make sure you don't die.
- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:34 -
TG: i heard you got the box
TG: i hope you appreciate my heroic fatherly perseverance in getting it to you
TG: in my rough and tumble dirty wifebeaterly sort of way
TG: also i hope you appreciate how many no-talent douches had their mitts on that bunny before you
TG: its like a grubby baton in some huge douchebag marathon
TG: hey where are you
EB: oh man, the bunny was awesome, but i don't have time to talk, i'm playing sburb and it's kind of a nightmare.
EB: TT is breaking everything in my house.
TG: dude i told you to steer clear of that game
TG: and for that matter you should probably wash your hands of flighty broads and their snarky horseshit altogether
EB: and now there's a meteor coming, and i'm not even joking about that!
EB: it's like a big asteroid or comet or something.
EB: in the sky.
EB: heading right for my house!
TG: oh man
TG: how big is it
EB: i dunno.
EB: big, i guess.
EB: i gotta go!
EB: we'll talk later if i am still alive and the earth isn't blown up.
TG: like the size of texas
TG: or just rhode island
TG: theyre always throwing around these geographical comparisons to give us a sense of scale like it really means anything to us
TG: but its like it doesnt matter its always just like: WOW THATS PRETTY FUCKING BIG
TG: like mr president theres a meteor coming sir. oh yeah, how big is it? its the size of texas sir
TG: OH SHIT
TG: or, how big is it? its the size of new york city sir
TG: OH SHIT
TG: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick
TG: OH SNAP
TG: sir are you familiar with jupiter
TG: you mean like the planet?
TG: yeah
TG: well its that big sir
TG: hmm that sounds pretty big
TG: i have a question
TG: is it jupiter?
TG: yes sir, earth is literally under seige by planet fucking jupiter
TG: OH SHIT
TG: anyway later
John got up and walked over to the Totem Lathe in his room.
He slipped the Pre-punched card into a slot on the machine. Above, the Tool Arm deployed a configuration of chisels.
Now he just needed something to lathe.
Cursing his lack of foresight, he decided to return to the balcony for the Cruxite Dowel he left on the pedestal.
He navigated the upstairs hallway leery of his dad, who was presently puzzling over the new bathtub fixture in his hallway.
Meanwhile, TT removed the cakes from the toilet outside and plopped them onto the pogo ride. She then picked up the toilet with the old floor still attached to it and returned it to the bathroom.
The perfect crime.
Dad just shrugged and headed back downstairs, presumably to do some more baking.
If only he knew how his son was hard at work saving his ass.
When he had retrieved the Cruxite Dowel, John clamped the cruxite in the lathe.
He activated it and watched as the chisels came down to carve one (1) Totem, which he then took and placed in his sylladex.
EB: alright, i used the lathe to make this blue shapey thing.
EB: now i guess i take it back to the alchemixer again?
EB: hello?
- tentacleTherapist [TT] is no longer connected! -
EB: uh...
Right as she had been in the process of moving the bathtub, TT had lost her connection once more, and dropped the tub right back in the hall in front of John's bedroom door.
The timer on the Cruxtruder now was at 2:10.
John tried opening his door, but found that the tub was blocking his way. He was stuck.