Homestuck: Part One

by JadeFoxx

The original Homestuck story told in novel form, for those who don't like the art or for those who, like me, just enjoy the story in all mediums. (I claim no ownership on the story, I simply re-wrote and added to it in a way in which an ordinary book may be written.) Acts 1-4, will update when convenient.

9. Chapter 8

The countdown was at a mere 40 seconds now.

John typed frantically into his Pesterchum client.

TT: I'm back.
EB: hurry up and open my door!
EB: not that it even matters, i think i'm probably dead no matter what!
TT: Patience. You still haven't used the new totem.
EB: ?
TT: I believe it will create the item on the punch card.
EB: so what is it, like an apple or something?
EB: what good will that even do?
TT: We'll see.
TT: I've found no evidence that anyone has successfully created the item.
TT: And the content of the card appears to be variable from session to session.
TT: In one instance it was described as an "eggy loking thign" [sic].
EB: do we have enough of those building jewels to make it?
TT: According to the Atheneum, it is a free item.
TT: This speaks to its importance, in my view.
TT: Now off you go.

Rose maneuvered the cursor and removed John's bedroom door from its hinges, freeing him from his prison.

There went the rest of the Build Grist.

She then put the bathtub back where it belonged in the bathroom. In retrospect, she probably should have just done this in the first place.

John took his carved totem out to the Alchemiter and placed it on the small pedestal. But before he could do anything, he had to get those stupid green blocks he had made earlier out of the way!

The Kernelsprite was getting awfully worked up about all of this!

Rose clicked on the Perfectly Generic Objects and stored them in the Phernalia Registry, potentially to be deployed at a later time.

Now the Alchemiter was ready to go.

The arm came out and scanned the totem, producing a blue tree with a single cyan apple.

Then, the tree dropped its apple into John's arms and subsequently disappeared.

The timer continued winding down as the meteor prepared to crash down to earth.

John stood holding the apple, unsure of what to do next. He looked around at his neighborhood full of uniform white houses, which would soon certainly be devastated by the approaching impact.

But before he knew it, it was too late. The timer had reached zero, and John found himself face to face with the meteor, about to be crushed in its fiery blaze. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He took a bite of the apple. And then, nothing. He could only see a bright white light as the meteor hit.

There was only the vast explosion that followed.