Homestuck: Part One

by JadeFoxx

The original Homestuck story told in novel form, for those who don't like the art or for those who, like me, just enjoy the story in all mediums. (I claim no ownership on the story, I simply re-wrote and added to it in a way in which an ordinary book may be written.) Acts 1-4, will update when convenient.

11. Act Two: Chapter 9

ACT TWO - Raise of the Conductor's Baton

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Sburb Beta Walkthrough

Version 1.0, April 13, 2009.

by tentacleTherapist

============================= TABLE OF CONTENTS =============================

1. Caveats and Condolences... [0000]

2. Walkthrough (Incomplete)... [A000]

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[0000] Caveats and Condolences

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I'd be inclined to dispense with the trite even under less pressing circumstances. Needless to say I'll forgo the ASCII banner which typically heralds the striking freefall of these documents. I'll also resist the urge to brandish any copyright marks, or the particular neurosis the concerns itself with the theft of the utterly mundane – I'll allow other deranged prospectors to stake claims on their worthless plots as the woods burn around them. My introduction will be sparse. There will be no majestic prose blustering into the sails of a galleon as we embark on this voyage together. Nor will there be any hamfisted prose whipping its limbs under a bedsheet like a retarded ghost, for that matter. I won't set the stage, or dim the lights. The mood, you will see, will be set soon enough.

Since you are reading this, chances are you have installed the game on your computer already. If this is true, like many others, you have just participated in bringing about the end of the world.

But don't beat yourself up about it. There was never anything you could have done to prevent it. The end is happening right now, as I type, and as you read. I have come to understand that were always doomed through our collective ignorance, and now further doomed by those few who know, and struggle to flee. If you're lucky, you'll be among the smaller subset of the latter who are successful.

What I mean is, while that game you installed is just one more grinding slab of rock sealing our planet's crypt, it is also your only hope to live. I'm presently faced with the same conundrum as you, and though I speak with more expertise, my own outcome is far from assured. I will "play the game," as much of it as there is to play, and record my findings here. If you want to live, you will do as I instruct.

My condolences.

~TT