40. Dinner

Amy and I decided to try a new Chinese restaurant in town. Having her near me felt right. I needed to make more time for my sister, I thought as we sat down at a table.

"So what is the trouble? Why did you and Shane break up this time?"

"I kissed my ex," I replied taking a drink of my water.

"Why? I mean what made you decide to do that?"

"Well, I was emotional. I am pregnant," I admitted.

"Andrea? I thought you hadn't even had sex. You said you were waiting," Amy said picking up her fork. She was disappointed, and I could not blame her.

"I was but that was before Philip," I admitted.

"And he is the new guy?"

"Yeah, my feelings for him are complicated ," I said blushing. Even saying his name made me flush.

"Tell me about these feelings," She said softly.

"I don't. The moment I saw him I was smitten. He is very handsome, and always tries to take of me. But the problem is," I started to say.

"You don't need someone to take care of. You are a strong woman," Amy said finishing my sentence.

"I know, and it's not like that with Shane. He encourages me to defend myself. He has even started teaching me how to shot a gun. Shane makes me feel powerful, but Philip wants to keep me in the dark," I replied looking down at the egg roll on plate. Chinese food and pregnancy don't mixed, I decided.

"You seem like you have already decided you want Shane," Amy insisted.

"I want them both. But I have to choose one. The fact that Philip's is this baby does not help," I admitted.

"You can't stay with Philip for the baby. It wouldn't be fair to Philip, the baby, or you," Amy said wisely.

"I know, but I am fond of Philip. If could he only keep his emotions in check. He loses control so often, and he does things that make people uncomfortable," I whispered not wanting anyone in the restaurant to hear me.

"What does he do?"

"Well, he shows up at Shane's house sometimes. Telling him to stay away from me."

"I can understand that since you are pregnant with his child," Amy said apprehensive.

"He followed me one day to the grocery store because I was with this guy Daryl. We were getting things for an event at church," I said looking at the floor.

"So he just showed up?"

"Yeah."

"That's a little much," Amy replied.

"I know there are other things he has done too. He can a bit intense," I said.

"Sounds like a stalker, Andrea," Amy said taking my hand.

"He cares too much. He can be obsessive."

"Honestly, it does not sound like a healthy relationship at all," Amy replied looking at me with those blue eyes.

"It is not normal, but that just the way Philip is. He is overbearing and bossy. He wants to control everything. Especially me. I never know what he'll do next. He is impulsive, and disarming all at the same time. And sometimes that attention it can be flattering. I know it does not make any sense. But I can't quit him. Philip is like my own personal drug. "

"Andrea, you are getting into deep with this guy. Michonne, Carol, and all your other friends I have talked to express concerns about him. They all love you, and are afraid that Philip is trouble," Amy said looking into my eyes.

"I know," I said pushing my plate away. I had barely ate anything.

"You are friends with these people for a reason. I know you trust their judgment," Amy said picking up her fortune cookie.

"I do. But at the end of the day I have to choose."

"Well, if you don't make up your mind soon you could lose Shane forever," Amy warned.

"I know," I said taking a deep breathe. I paid for our dinner and we walked to the car.

"I think it's really cool I am going to be an Aunt," Amy said smiling.

"I am glad you think so," I said touching my tummy. Ten weeks I was barely showing.

"Only wish you told me sooner. And no matter who you end up with I'll support you. You'll going to be a great mom," Amy smiled as we got in the car. My sister always knew the right thing to say to make me feel better, I thought.