This chapter deals with premature birth.
RyderPOV-
It's the twenty-eighth of December, and Blair has been released from the hospital.
Unfortunately, Noah is of course still there. Blair and I spent all day in the NICU with him, from eight in the morning until she was released a nine at night. We're going to get some sleep, and go back in the morning.
''I know you're tired,'' I tell her, hanging her our coats up ,''I'm gonna go run you a bath.''
''You don't have to,'' she quietly tells me as she sits on our bed, taking her boots off with an exhausted expression.
''I want to,'' I tell her,''Besides, I need one, too.''
''Thank you,'' she sighs, ''I'll… I'll get my pajamas. And yours, too.''
''Alright. I'll be back.''
After the bath, and after we've eaten, we can finally go to bed.
''Ryder,'' Blair begins when her back is pressed against my chest.
''Yeah,'' I tighten my arm around her waist, holding her closer like we both need.
''Why are you being so nice to me,'' she asks, ''Shouldn't you be mad at me? Because Noah was born so early? I must have done something wrong-''
''You heard the doctor, Blair. You did everything right, and this couldn't be prevented. He is in the hands of professionals, honey. He will be fine.''
''So you're not mad,'' she questions, rolling over to face me.
''Of course not. Blair, we have been through a lot together. And, even though this is the worse, we will get through it. And so will Noah,'' I kiss her ,''Now, let's get some sleep. It's after midnight, and we're going to the hospital at eight.''
''Okay. I love you. I don't know how I'd get through this without you. I'm just sorry that you've been trying to hold it together for both of us,'' she sighs, moving her leg so it's tangled with mine ,''That's too much. This is your baby as much as it is mine.''
''Our parents and teachers tell us that it's going to be so hard when we grow sometimes it feels like you're drowning in problems. But there are also times when it is so worth it. Seeing Noah for the first time… how fragile and dependent he is? That was a moment for me, when I knew I'd be there for him as long as he needs me. And, if you'll have me.''
''Of course I will,'' she sighs with a yawn, ''I love you.''
''I love you, too.''
With that, we slowly drift off into a sleep. Well, Blair does. I can already tell that this is going to be one sleepless night on my part.
Noah was born so early, and he has so many health problems. Right now, all we can do is hope that he'll be okay.
Because I don't think that Blair and I can handle another disappointment.
RoryPOV-
''You okay,'' I ask Sugar.
We'd been with Liam, Jade, Grace, and Jacob all day, and we're finally home now that dad and Blaine are back.
''No,'' she admits, knowing I'd see right through her if she did not tell the truth ,''I did some research. They said some factors that affect premature labor are if the mother is carrying multiples. Like twins. That could have been us, Rory. I'm not Blair, honey. I can't handle that.''
''You are just as strong as Blair is, Sugar. I promise that,'' I move some hair off of her shoulder as she takes off her shirt, getting ready for bed ,''And we can't think like that. I'm sure Noah will be fine, and that our own babies will be born healthy.''
''I know you can't guarantee it, but thank you. I love you. And I love having you in my life,'' she kisses me ,''But I have to go take a shower. I'll see you in a while.''
She leaves then, a protective hand on her stomach.
Honestly? I'd be lying if I said that the fact Blair had Noah sixteen weeks ahead of time didn't scare me. Hell, it still scared me/ I was worried about her and Noah, of course. But it also made me consider the fact that the same thing could happen with Sugar and our baby girls.
Ryder and Blair are barely keeping it together. He's trying to be strong for her the same way that she wants to be for him. However, anyone can see that this is tearing both of them apart.
Tomorrow, while Blair is at the hospital, Ryder will have to work out his new work schedule with Penny. Then he will join her at the hospital again. I know this can't be easier for him than it is for her. Noah looks so fragile and tiny. You can see his veins and there are wires everywhere. He looks like a good gust of wind can break him.
How could that not scare Sugar about our babies safety?
Despite all of that, I know Noah will be fine. Look who his parents are: they have been through so much, and they came out stronger. So why won't he?
In eleven more weeks, Sugar and I will have our very own babies. We'd managed to build a little storage unit to store their clothes, and used whatever space was left to place the changing table there.
Our apartment is small, and we haven't been married even a year. But we're making it work. We will make this work, no matter how hard it is. Dad pays Sugar well for being his assistant, and so do the few celebrities that she has helped design for. And I'm getting paid for my jobs at the music store, and babysitting for one of my professors. He was in the same position at our age, and he's really been helping out.
Sugar and I certainly couldn't do this without the help we've been giving, and we definitely don't take any of it for granted.
This definitely isn't going to be easy. In some ways, Sugar and I are still kids ourselves.
But if dad and Blaine can make it work, even after every single thing they've been through, then I know we can, too.
Everything's going to change. In a few weeks, I will be a father. And two tiny, helpless babies will be depending on us. There's going to be crying and temper tantrums and dirty diapers and spit ups and so much more.
And, surprisingly, I can't wait.
BPOV-
''I can't feel my arm,'' Kurt whispers as he tries to remove his arm from under Grace's head.
We're asleep in the livingroom, on the floor, on a blanket. The kids were still up for some reason, and insisted on watching a movie. Jacob's cradled against me, Liam on the couch, Jade in the chair, and Kurt and I on the floor with our toddlers.
''Me either,'' I admit with a breathy laugh.
And I'm perfectly okay with it.
''I know we said we'd stay home for our anniversary, but Sugar and Roy are basically demanding that we let them watch the kids. And Liam is fifteen. It's not like he can't watch them, and Sugar and Rory just check in on them. He's even volunteered,'' Kurt tells me.
''True. We'll have to thank them. I think we should go out, and not let our reservations go to waste.'''
Besides: I could really use some alone time with you after everything that's been going on.
''We should get some sleep. I have to take the kids to the community center, and you have to take Blair to the hospital.''
''Right. Good night, Kurt. I love you,'' I smile at my husband.
Without whom I'd never had made it through this year.
''Good night, Blaine. I love you. too.''
With that, I close my eyes, and head to sleep.
''You okay,'' I ask Blair as we stand in the elevator of the hospital.
''I'm fine,'' she stares straight ahead.
It's strange: one minute I'm catching her kissing her boyfriend on the couch of our old apartment, the next minute she's grown up and living with said boyfriend.
My daughter grew up, and had a baby.
She's acting as brave as she can, and I know she's terrified. As exhausting as it is for her and Ryder, they are trying to keep it together for the other's sake. But they need help, they can't do it alone.
''Talk to me, Blair,'' I insist.
With a sigh, she looks down, and back up at me with her eyes shining from the fresh tears.
''My baby was born way too early, dad. He weighs a pound. A pound. He's so, so small, and fragile and he's hooked up to all of these wires just so that he can survive. He's in there f-fighting for his life. I'd give up dancing, trade places with him… do whatever it takes if he'd be okay. I lost my mom, I c-can't...''
''Come here,'' I pull her into a hug as she sobs, ''Shh… it's okay. He's okay, Blair. He's going to be okay.''
''I did everything I could, daddy,'' she says through her sobs.
''I know. And something like this is never anyone's fault, Blair. But that baby loves you, even if he doesn't know what's happening. And you love him more than you love yourself. That means something, honey. And I am right here, I promise, through all of it.''
She wipes at her eyes, attempting to clean her face a bit as the doors open.
''Thank you, dad,'' she smiles a bit as I put an arm around her shoulders, ''I don't know how I'd make it through half of what has gone on without you. I love you.''
''I love you, too,'' I remind her as we walk down the hallways ,''Now. Let's go see this grandson of mine.''
Despite whatever Blair thinks, I didn't say that just to comfort her, I believe Noah will be okay. I know he will.
Because despite whatever happens in our lives, things always seem to work themselves out in the end.
BlairPOV-
''Hi, Noah. I'm your mommy,'' I whisper to my tiny baby.
He needs wires for everything, from breathing to eating. And he's so small…
''I love you, Noah. And your daddy loves you, too. He'll be here in a little while. This is your grandpa Blaine,'' I tell him as dad gently touches his hand from the other side of the incubator.
''Hey, buddy,'' my dad quietly acknowledges him, ''You're gonna be okay.''
''It seems like a good time to tell you your full name,'' I talk to my baby.
These last few days have been crazy. I've been feeling everything from guilt and anger and happiness and sadness… and this is the one thing Ryder and I could agree on.
''Welcome to the world Noah Blaine Lynn,'' I don't miss the smile my dad gives as he stares at Noah ,''I hope you turn out like your daddy, and your grandpas. Especially your grandpa Blaine. He's the most hardworking, honest, loving person I have ever met.''
''Blair Anderson, don't you dare make me cry,'' my dad jokes as we continue to admire my baby.
''Okay,'' I laugh quietly before turning my attention back to Noah ,''And guess what? I don't care what you want to be when you grow up. But I hope you get your dancing skills from me, not your daddy. And I hope you have his eyes and hair color, but I don't know if you will. And your daddy and I will love you no matter what. No matter who you love, or what you do… I am right here. I love you so, so much.''
I have from the moment that I learned about you, and I will until the day I die.
''You've got to get big and strong, honey. There are people who can't wait to meet you,'' I explain, holding his tiny hand ,''And dad and I got you a nice crib to sleep in. We are going to take such good care of you.''
Always.
''But for now, rest. I know you're gonna be okay, and daddy and I will see you every day,'' I reassure him, even though I know he doesn't understand.
But I love him. After all, I may be talking to myself more than I am to him.
Noah Blaine Lynn. My little miracle. I know things look bad, but he is going to be fine. He will get better, and Ryder and I will take him home.
''However long this takes,'' I whisper to Noah as he sleeps ,''I love you.''
That's the one thing that I know we can both count on.
Disclaimers- glee belongs to Fox and Ryan Murphy.