"Sammy, do you want Mac 'n' Cheese?" Dean asked, deceptively calm.

The toddler whimpered again, throwing the food off the table for the third time and sticking his lower lip out. "No! I wan' a hot dog!"

Dean took a deep breath. "Sammy, I don't have any hot dogs right here. I have Mac 'n Cheese, so you need to eat it."

"No, Dean!" Sammy yelled. "Don' wan' it!"

Dean stood up and walked away from the small table, running his hands through his hair in frustration. So far, it had been three hours and Sammy had not only refused to eat anything besides a hot dog, but also gotten over his attachment to Dean. There had been two temper tantrums, counting the food throwing, and Dean had reached a point where he just wanted to join in and throw some food back.

Once Sammy was sasquatch-sized again, Dean was going to pay him back for this one, big time.

Dean froze, suddenly realizing that the little monster had been suspiciously quiet for the duration of his reflection. He slowly turned around, various nightmarish scenes playing out in his mind, and felt his heart return to his chest with a slight tug at the sight of his little brother, fast asleep, with his head on the table and his little hands spreading cheese sauce through his hair.

He laughed quietly. "All that excitement wear you out, Baby Boy?" he asked in a low tone.

"I'm still on my feet, ain't I?" came a gruff reply, making Dean jump about twelve feet in the air.

"Geezus, Bobby, don't do that!" he hissed. A grim smile came over the older hunter's face.

"For a guy that's so determined to keep that little kid out of trouble, you sure are shit when it comes to security," he remarked.

Dean felt a pang of guilt that quickly grew as he looked at Sammy again. Suddenly, the warmth that he'd been feeling from the domestic picture in front of him melting into the stark picture of how badly he'd neglected his baby brother's safety and care.

He felt a panic attack coming as his chest began to tighten and his breath got shorter and faster, but the various images flitting through his mind did nothing to help calm him down. "Oh my god," he gasped. "Jesus, Bobby, I can't take care of this kid! I can't do anything!" his voice was now higher than the four year old's, which was mortifying, but he was too terrified to care about that.

Bobby rolled his eyes at Dean's overreaction. "Ya' damn idjit," he muttered, "it's just me, Dean! It's not like I'm a threat to you or anything!"

Dean stared at him incredulously. "Just you? But you got in, Bobby! I mean, Sammy's fuckin helpless, but I'm too busy staring at how peaceful he is to protect him?"

"Calm down, boy!" Bobby interjected, now becoming alarmed by Dean's growing panic.

"Bobby," Dean attempted, but he was too busy hyperventilating to really form sentences.

Bobby rolled his eyes, realizing that Dean's "Mama Bear" instincts were kicking in, and the hunter still saw him as a threat. "Get out of yer' damn head, Dean. Sammy's fine, so get your girly ass over there and put that kid in bed! Christ, Dean! He's covered in cheese sauce, and you're growing lady parts because I came over? Get your priorities straight, boy! I'll be back later." He knew that until he left, Dean wouldn't calm down. If he was being honest, though, he couldn't wait to get away! He turned toward the door, but then remembered the bag in his hand and turned back briefly to put it on the counter. "Here's yer' damn Lucky Charms."

Dean was listening anxiously for the sound of the door closing, which was the reason he heard the affectionately grumbled, "Idjits!" right before the sound he was waiting for. Now he just had to get Sammy cleaned up, but as he looked back at the four year old, he suddenly felt like he had absolutely no strength left In his body.

So what if his little brother was covered in cheese? Sammy was happy, and Dean couldn't handle waking him up right now. He sank to the floor with his back against the small fridge and dropped his head against his knees, still unable to really breathe right. The panic was gone, but there was a strange tightness in his chest still, so he did the only thing he could think of.

"Cas?" he asked tentatively. He sighed shakily. "Look, man, I can't do this. I don't have anyone else, and I just don't know what to do. I mean, Cas, I'm not mad, okay? I'm just overwhelmed, and I'm losing my grip. I need you, Cas! It's just all too much! Yesterday morning, I had a girlfriend and a son, and Sammy was dead. Today, I'm single and childless, and Sammy's alive but not normal, and then all of a sudden he's a freakin' kid, and god knows why any of this is happening, and just, please, Cas. I really, really need to see you." He was shaking now, and tears were coming dangerously close to falling down his face when he felt a shoulder next to his. "Cas?" he choked out.

"Dean," the angel answered evenly, evaluating the man's emotional state. He didn't know too much about the scale of human emotion, but he was pretty sure that Dean shouldn't be shaking like that, and he needed to help him. He hesitantly reached a hand across the leather jacket to grab Dean's other shoulder, holding him in an awkward, manly hug. To his alarm, the hunter only shook harder, and he was shocked to see tears falling down Dean's cheek. "Dean, are you alright?" he asked in genuine concern, tightening his hold and ensuring that the man was not physically hurt.

"I just can't keep it together, Cas," Dean gasped out. "I'm such a fuckin failure. I couldn't save Sammy from the pit the first time. Hell, even if Michael took me, I couldn't have stopped him from killing my brother. It's always been us against the world, you know? But now he's little again, and the last time he was this small, I fucked up bad, man. I almost got him killed, but then he did get killed, and now it's like a chance to do everything over, and I already fucked this up. I mean, Jesus, Cas! It was like I had a chance to fix everything I screwed up, and I already messed it up." His voice had fluctuated between strong and broken, but now he was completely taken over by the force of his tears.

Cas sat there silently, holding his broken friend, and tried to think about what he could do, especially since a lot of the things that had Dean so upset were his fault in the first place. With a sense of horror, he began to see just how bad he had made Dean's life. How had bringing the Righteous Man back from Hell deteriorated into sitting on the floor of a crappy motel while he cried in your arms over everything you'd taken from him? He began to apologize over and over, but Dean was too caught up in the long-suppressed emotion to hear him at first.

Finally, Dean began to calm down, and he was embarrassed to realize that his angel still had an arm wrapped tightly around him. He tried to shove it off, but the angel didn't budge. He turned his head toward Cas and saw that his eyes were screwed shut and his lips were moving.

"Cas?" Dean asked, fiercely willing the last few tears away. The only response he got was a tighter hug, but now the angel was at least speaking loudly enough for Dean to hear what he was saying.

"I'm so sorry, Dean. It's all my fault. I've failed you so much." The angel just kept whispering similar phrases without stopping, and Dean realized with a pang that now the angel was blaming himself for all of Dean's shit.

"Cas!" he called out, but there was no response. He turned toward the angel, and grabbed Cas's face with his hands, and when that failed to get the angel's attention, he made a split second decision and closed the short distance between their lips, effectively silencing Cas's apologies. Apparently this was an excellent way to get a distracted angel's attention, because after only a few seconds, Cas was fervently kissing back, and Dean suddenly came to his senses.

Pulling away, he looked at the angel in surprise before remembering what the point of all of that was. "Cas," he began, his serious tone belied by the way he left his hands against the angel's face, "Dude, none of this has ever been your fault! You have to stop doing this to yourself."

Cas looked right back at him just as seriously. "Surely you don't mean to imply that this is, in fact, your fault?" he questioned.

Dean winced. "Hey, that's okay, Cas. It's a human thing, really, and you're so much better than a human. If you can't enjoy the pie, you don't have to participate in the blame games, okay?"

Cas sighed. "I think I might have to try this pie, Dean. Shouldn't you check on Sam though?"

Dean smirked. "Can you still see him?" he asked.

Cas looked up and immediately nodded. "Are you sure he's okay?" he asked.

Dean nodded. "Believe me, at this age, when Sammy was awake or not okay, you knew it. If he's still quiet, then he's either asleep or getting into trouble, but since he was still at the table," Dean let his voice trail off at the look in Cas's eyes. "Cas? Is he still at the table?" he asked.

Cas shook his head. "I'm sorry, Dean," he apologized contritely. "I didn't know that's what you meant."

Dean jumped up from where he'd been practically sitting in Cas's lap, only torn between duties for a moment. "It's not your fault," he called over his shoulder as he looked for his little brother's blonde hair everywhere he could think.

He was really trying not to think about what just happened, mostly because he had no idea what it was himself. Well, he knew that it had been a damn good kiss, but he wasn't sure what it meant to either of them, and he really didn't think he wanted to go there. "Sammy?" he called out, hoping that the kid hadn't gotten cheese everywhere yet. On the other hand, though, that might have been easier to track than the elusive blonde head.

"Dean!" a young voice crowed, but Dean had no idea where it was coming from.

"Sammy, where are you?" he called again, hoping that the kid wouldn't think this was a game. "You need to come out now, Sammy," he tried when there was no answer. "Sammy?" Now he was starting to go a little crazy, pulling out the sparse furniture and ripping blankets off the beds. "SAMMY!" he yelled in a panic.

There was a flutter of wings near him, and a hand coming from just out of his reach pointed to the closet he had somehow overlooked. He ran for the closet, Cas right behind him, and opened it with a jerk to reveal the impish face and blonde hair Dean had been looking for.

Sammy clapped his hands and giggled. "You found me!" he squealed.

Dean scooped him up and held him close for a long moment before a throat being cleared reminded him that the angel was still there. Sammy was facing Cas and apparently Cas was actually entertaining the four year old, going by the amount of giggles.

"Dean," Sam whined playfully, "who is it?"

Dean frowned. "Sammy, I thought you knew Cas?"

There was a laugh behind him, and he whirled around to face… Not Cas? Terror flitted across his face, and he grabbed Sammy closer.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked, remembering how Cas had said there were angels that wanted to kill Dean. He could only assume that Sammy was on that list now too, but he was completely trapped.

The angel just smirked and spread his arms. "Hello to you too, Dean! Now if you'll excuse me, I was making faces at you adorable brother."

Dean tensed. "You don't talk to him, you don't talk about him, and you don't even open your mouth in his near vicinity unless you want to tell me who the hell you are and what you're doing here," he demanded.

He loosened his grip on Sammy, afraid of scaring his brother any more, but he kept him turned away from the unidentified angel.

"Well, well, well. They weren't kidding upstairs, you know. You do have quite a way about you! You know, I'd been away for a while, so I wasn't up on all the news, but just five minutes in heaven and I know all there is to know about you! Obviously, I had to come down and see for myself because anyone who my brothers hate so fiercely has to be halfway decent, and you're just lucky I showed up when I did," the angel answered, rambling on a bit.

"Castiel," Dean called, wondering when the angel had left anyway, "I could use an angel blade about now!"

In a split second, Cas was in front of Dean, shoving him back and drawing his weapon.

"Cassie?" the other angel asked, apparently thinking this whole scene was hilarious, adorable, or a mixture of both.

Cas's blade clattered to the ground, and he took a step back in disbelief. "Balthazar?"

Thanks for reading and reviewing! *hint, hint*

Seriously, guys, reviews make my day!

~Hugs and chocolate!

Hailee