"Cassie?" the other angel asked, apparently thinking this whole scene was hilarious, adorable, or a mixture of both.
Cas's blade clattered to the ground, and he took a step back in disbelief. "Balthazar?"
"So you two know each other?" Dean asked in disbelief, shocked when Castiel completely ignored him to talk to this "Balthazar" character some more. He caught some "Been too long" and "Missed you too" before they slipped into Enochian.
"Well, I guess we know when we aren't wanted, huh, Sammy?" he asked, hoisting the kid higher on his hip.
Sammy just mumbled something unintelligible, and Dean sighed and walked away, carrying his brother over to the kitchen counter so he could make some hot dogs.
To say he was startled by the hand on his shoulder would be an understatement.
"Dean? I need to speak to you for a moment," Cas was saying hesitantly.
"Is this about my brother?" Dean asked, confused as to why the angel was acting like this.
Cas shuffled his feet a little. "Yeah, it's, um, it's complicated, Dean."
Dean nodded. "Well, you just said he was missing something and then turned him into a four year old, about a tenth of his size. I think complicated is an understatement."
The angel nodded. "You're right, Dean. This is definitely beyond complicated, and it is questionable that we'll be able to-"
"Cassie!" the dick-ier anger cut in. "Let's try doing this more, I don't know, human style?" he suggested, cocking an eyebrow.
"And just who put you in charge?" Dean asked. "I mean, who the hell are you, anyway? You aren't doing shit to my brother unless I say it's okay!"
The cocky angel smirked. "Ah, so many jokes I could make, Dean-o! But I'll settle for reminding you that if you want your brother back to, well, normal, you're going to have to leave it to the professionals."
"Professional? How many cases of unage-ments have you ever dealt with?" Dean spat back.
Balthazar shrugged. "The point is, I'm an angel, you're an amateur."
"I'm a hunter, and I've yet to meet the sonuvabitch I can't gank, especially when Sammy's involved," Dean returned.
"Well, I've been around since the dawn of time, and you're puny."
"I'm a thirty year old high school drop-out, and I could beat your ass any day."
"I'm an angel of the lord."
"There is no lord."
"Dean!" Cas interrupted, looking at his older brother.
Balthazar shrugged. "I wasn't going to argue that point, little bro. He's got a valid argument going for him. I mean, he's a weak ass human with no experience in the angelic realm, and he's blind where it comes to his brother, but he's right about one thing: our father is not in heaven."
"Well now that we've got that out of the way," Dean clarified, "What's going on, Cas? What does this dick head have to do with my brother?"
Cas tilted his head. "Balthazar has some very important ideas that could completely heal Sam, Dean. Why are you still insulting him?"
"I don't know," Dean yelled, exasperated. "Maybe it's because I still have no idea what this brilliant plan even entails!"
"Oh, he's right, Cas!" Balthazar suddenly remembered. "We never told him what's going on!"
Dean gestured wildly with one hand as the other snapped out to catch Sammy, who had nodded off during the argument. "And you wonder why I keep insulting him? He wants to do god knows what to my brother, and he hasn't even told me the whole plan yet!"
"Dean, calm down before you drop your brother," Cas ordered.
"Yeah, Dean, ya little bitch," Balthazar taunted.
Two pairs of eyes swung toward him, one murderous, one very confused. He sighed. "You'll understand when you're older," he promised.
"Oh, I understand right now," Dean responded with definite venom in his voice.
Balthazar clapped his hands. "So you're there already? I get so confused, you know, with all of time and space. 'Where you want to go?' and all, you know?"
There was a solitary moment of silence before Dean exploded. "What the fuck is your problem? What are you even talking about? Who gave you the right to waltz into my life, scare my brother, and allude to my future in some kind of vague term that's going to totally not clear anything up? You're a sick piece of trash, and if you don't start helping my brother real quick, I'm going to stab you through the fucking heart. Angel or not, you're gonna feel it."
Balthazar choked. "I'm sorry, Dean, but the urge to make a 'that's what he said' joke is just way too strong. Honestly, between the sexual tension and the obvious innuendoes, I'm having a hard time believing that you really haven't considered it. But on to your brother, of course." He waved off Dean's furious protest and glanced at Cas. Well, he glanced at where Cas had been standing.
"Cas?" Dean called out anxiously. "Oh great, this is just perfect. I'm stuck with the most perverted asshole as my only chance at saving my brother from who knows what while my best friend just abandoned me and I have to start working early because we just ganked Captain Hook. Hey, smartass!" he called, trying to catch Balthazar's attention.
"Huh? Oh, what?"
Dean smirked. "Very attractive. What's so important?"
Balthazar let a sly grin cover the startled expression on his face. "Well, I was listening to Cassie's private channel on angel radio, and it was very, um, enlightening. Dean? Did you kiss my brother?"
Dean groaned. "He was panicking, I was out of options, and slapping wasn't working. It worked, okay? He's breathing."
"Instead of pointing out that we don't have to breathe, I should mention that Cassie is now very confused because he doesn't want you to get the wrong impression, but he also doesn't want you guys to stop being friends. I must admit, I'm touched, but I do have a question. What made my little brother panic so badly that you had to kiss him to get him to snap out of it?"
Dean sighed. "Well, it started when he realized that he hadn't fixed anything, and it just escalated from there until we got where we are now, and my brother would really appreciate being six foot four again, so if you could work some mojo, that'd be nice."
"Before I start, you should understand that I expect you to clear things up with my brother. You seem like a good guy, Dean; you should understand why I don't want anything to happen to my brother, and your life expectancy is longer than mine at this point, so you have to look out for him, okay?" Balthazar asked, deathly serious.
"Um, how about we start, and if you tell me why your precious brother hadn't seen you in millennia, I'll promise to protect him," Dean suggested.
Balthazar shrugged. "No deal. I'll start, you'll protect him. That's just who we are. I want you to promise to tell him what CPR is instead of letting him imagine all the expectations you have for him now."
Dean groaned. "Fine, whatever. Can we move on to my brother now?" he begged.
Balthazar sighed and nodded, drawing an angel blade and placing it near his palm. "I am extremely skilled at incantations. While I don't know what Cassie managed to do yet, this will protect your brother and, if Cassie did something extremely simple, reverse his spell. Okay?"
Dean nodded.
Balthazar pulled the blade across his hand, muttering in Latin, "Sana quod est sáucium. Mutare consilium fatum . Salvum deperditi . Reportat quod fuit. Quid fuit." He caught the blood that trickled out in a vial from… from somewhere before briefly making a fist to heal his hand. "Alright, little Sammy, time to wake up and take our medicine," he called with a bright gleam in his eyes.
"Whoa!" Dean said, holding up his hand. "You're actually trying to feed him your blood? That's sick!"
"It's infused with grace and enchanted, Dean, but I can disguise it if you'd prefer," Balthazar offered.
"Yeah, I'd prefer that my baby brother not have to drink straight angel blood," Dean agreed, thoroughly disgusted. He didn't even mention the demon blood, trying to ignore that incident completely.
Balthazar shrugged and conjured a milkshake as the vial disappeared. "Wake up, Sammy," he tried again. This time it worked.
"Dean?" Sammy asked, ruefully rubbing his shoulder where Dean had been holding it.
"Hey there, little tyke. You want a milkshake?" Dean asked, motioning for Balthazar to vanish. Surprisingly, he obeyed.
Sammy cocked his head endearingly, similar to the way Cas would, although Cas is not endearing in the least, of course. "Did you make it, Dean?" he asked.
"Of course I did," Dean answered smoothly, running his hand over the long blond hair. "Drink up! Milkshakes solve everything!"
Sammy giggled and did as he was told.
The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. Bobby eventually came back and Dean was able to prove that he was not a woman anymore, to both of their reliefs. Sammy played and ate and played some more until about eight o clock, while Dean studied his script and handbook furiously and considered calling Tyler for his schedule. The kid needed some time to recuperate, though, and Samuel would probably be listening in anyway.
He finally finished learning all his lines by the time Sammy was starting to fall asleep, and he leaned back and closed his own eyes, just for a moment. He woke up to a shrill, pain-filled scream and was running to the source before his eyes were open.
"Sammy!" he yelled. "Sammy, are you okay?"
Bobby was already next to the sofa where Sammy was constricting in pain and flailing around alternately. He looked bigger, but Dean didn't remember a growth spurt ever being this painful. He dropped to his knees beside his brother and cradled Sammy's head in his hands, not caring about the occasional punch in the jaw from Sammy's untethered limbs.
"Hey, little brother, I've got you. You're gonna be okay. "I've got you." He murmured over and over.
Bobby was trying to hold Sammy's arms and legs down so he wouldn't hurt himself, but it wasn't working too well.
"What the hell is going on, Dean?" he asked as Sammy continued to scream and then abruptly stopped. Dean stood up, shaken, and walked away for a second.
"De," came a whimper from the sofa.
Dean immediately whirled around, locking away his emotions, to face a… five year old Sammy? "Sammy, how do you feel?" he asked, rushing to his brother's side and lifting his head again.
"M'okay," Sammy shrugged noncommittally. "What's going on, Dean?"
"I don't know for sure, little brother," Dean started, "but I'm figuring it out real fast," he was quick to add. "In fact, you go to sleep, and I'm going to call-"
"Bal-zar?" Sammy asked, innocently butchering the angel's name.
Dean snorted. "Him? No, I'm calling Cas. You like Cas, right?" he asked.
Sammy nodded, pouting. "I like Balzar too," he pointed out.
"Well, Mr. Bazarro could be responsible for all that weird stuff that just happened, so we'll call Cas and then he can call Bazarro man if he wants, okay?"
Sammy agreed reluctantly.
"Okay, Cas, I hope you've got your ears on, man. Look, here's the thing: Balthazar did something to my brother, and," he was cut off by Sammy grabbing his arm, "What, Sammy?"
"You have to tell him who you are," Sammy fake-whispered.
Dean rolled his eyes. "How could I forget? Okay, Cas, it's Dean. I need your help, man. I mean, I really need you. Something else is going on with Sammy, and your" he covered Sammy's ears "fucking asshole of a" he uncovered them "brother made it worse. Okay, I get that you think things are going to be weird, but I promise they aren't. We won't even mention it again, okay? It happened, but I had to do it. I really didn't think I had any other options, man, but I couldn't lose you. You're one of the only friends I have," he ended the strange prayer.
He hadn't meant to confess like that, but he was desperate for help, and he thought that maybe he had to apologize for the kiss before the angel would answer.
"Something you wanted to tell me, boy?" Bobby asked in surprise after the prayer ended.
Dean shook his head. "Not going to mention it, remember? Don't worry, it was nothing. We were both a little too girly earlier," he explained.
"Me, girly?" Bobby scoffed.
"No, me and Cas," Dean clarified just before the angel in question materialized in front of them.
"What's the problem, Dean?" he asked with a nod that Dean took to mean "apology accepted."
"It's Sammy. He was in a ton of pain, and then he woke up bigger. Is that supposed to happen?" Dean asked.
"Well," Cas thought, "it either means that Balthazar's treatment worked or that it failed miserably," he finally decided.
Dean stared at the angel. "So no in-between?" he asked.
Castiel shook his head.
"Well, when will you know which one it is?" Bobby interjected.
Cas shrugged. "It depends on what age you are comfortable with subjecting him to extreme pain," he answered matter-of-factly.
"Never!" Dean answered immediately. "Is there any less painful way?"
Cas shook his head. "In either case, he will continue to age one year a day, so you have just under two weeks until he's making decisions for himself again," he answered calmly.
Dean groaned. "Well, thanks anyway, Cas," he said lamely.
Cas nodded. "And thank you, Dean," he added just before disappearing on the spot.
Bobby gave Dean a cursory glance before looking back at Sammy, now fast asleep again. "You sure you don't want to tell me what that was about?" he asked.
Dean nodded.
Bobby sighed. "Ya damn idjit," he muttered. "Well, have it your way. Enjoy your kindergartener and your new job."
"oh, about that," Dean remembered.
"What?" Bobby asked.
"Would you mind babysitting for, like, eight days?" Dean asked. "Then he'll be a teenager and we won't have to worry anymore, but I can't leave him and I can't take him, so you'll watch him right?"
Bobby looked at the pile of books he was planning on reading to research Sammy's predicament and realized that with an active little boy on his hands, he wasn't going to get anything done.
"Balls!"
PM me if you want to know what Balthy said, or leave a comment in the reviews!
(Trust me, you're going to want to know this one.)
What do you think about Dean and Balthazar connecting as big brothers?
I'll try to post again soon, and reviews make me post even faster!
-Hugs and Chocolate!
Hailee