Testosterone Poisoning

A knock at the door took Spike away from his meal at the kitchen table. Standing on the other side he found a middle aged man with an expectant look on his face.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" asked the ex-vampire.

Before the man could answer, though, the Slayer pushed past her husband. "Dad?"

"Buffy!" Hank exclaimed in response, with a smile, before turning back to Spike, "You can go now."

"I don't think so, mate."

Hank's brow furrowed, "Sweetie, who is this man?"

"'M her bloke," Spike informed him, "And you're not welcome here."

Buffy shook her head and waved Hank in, "Don't mind him."

When they'd all sat down in the living room Spike was first to start off again.

"What do you want?" he asked, which caused the Slayer to squeeze his knee and give him a glare. "Ah- I, uh… I mean, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Dawn invited me, of course."

"Of course," Spike and Buffy said in unison.

"Bloody hell, I'll kill 'er," Spike added.

Hank stood to his feet and demanded an explanation. "Buffy, you can't honestly tell me you're with this rude, aggressive, ruffian of a man!"

The Slayer sighed before replying, "I'm with him. We love each other, and we're married, actually. The aggressiveness' just a front."

"Oi!" Spike protested.

"Well, it is," she said, before standing up and tugging him to his feet too.

"Spike, this is my dad," she told him, before turning back to Hank, "Dad, this is Spike. Err, William, if you prefer. Why don't you shake hands?"

Her dad shook his head instead, "What a name. I thought you'd grow out of the whole bad boy thing."

Spike choked back a laugh at that, and Buffy looked offended.

"You too are going to be polite to each other, and to me," she stated firmly, "I'm going to call Dawn."

"Dawn!" Buffy yelled, when the girl finally picked up.

"He's there, then?" she asked, hesitantly.

"He is," the Slayer confirmed, "Bit of notice would have been nice."

"Uh, yeah, well-"

"Get your butt over here now!"

Buffy hauled her sister into the kitchen when she arrived. "Explain yourself, and quickly, because I don't like leaving those two alone together," she said.

Dawn looked at her feet, "I wanted to see him, before were so far away again. Technically I've never even met him before."

Buffy relaxed her posture a bit as she admitted, "I get that. But, Dawn? Really, you should have told me."

"I know," she hung her head further. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. But, hey, if Spike kills him it's your fault."

That caused Dawn to smile a little, despite herself, "They're really not getting on?"

"A world of no."

The girls returned to the living room right in time to hear Spike say, "Buffy doesn't need this stress right now."

"Why?" asked Hank, standing up and walking over to her, "What's wrong?"

"Because she's pregnant, you berk."

The Slayer cringed, but her dad's chest puffed out with pride, "I'm going to have a grandchild?" – then, in the next breath, he shrank down again with realization, "I'm going to be a grandfather."

Spike snorted, and Hank glared at him. "Got something to say, William?"

Buffy was sending her husband warning signals, and silently telling him not to rise to it but he ignored her. "Yeah, I got something to say. You've barely been a father all these years, and you think you're going to be part of my daughter's life? I don't bloody think so."

"I'm family!" Hank snapped at him, "Blood family. You're only here by marriage, and those don't last forever."

Spike was livid, "You don't know a soddin' thing about blood and family! Bet Joyce was right an' glad marriages don't last forever."

"Can we stop this?" Buffy interjected, but Spike ignored her again.

"What do you know about my wife?" Hank asked him.

"What do you?! I was around when she died, taking care of my family. Where the hell were you?"

"I… what?!" he stammered, "What are you talking about? Joyce isn't dead, you idiot."

"Oh my god!" said Dawn, which jolted Spike's attention back to her and Buffy.

His Slayer had tears running down her face, and the sight of it instantly made the rage fall from him. Going to her and wrapping her up in his arms he said, "I'm sorry, baby."

Dawn's mouth was agape with shock as she turned to her father, "You didn't know – about mom?"

Hank looked equally shocked, "It's true?"

The girl shook her head, horrified with him. "Do you even care?" she spat, before walking away, to stand behind Spike and Buffy, and crossing her arms. "I think you should go."

Buffy composed herself, then pulled Dawn off to the side again.

"Are you sure you wanna kick him out?" she asked.

The girl just whimpered in response.

"Not the family reunion you expected, huh?"

Dawn shook her head, and they hugged, before the Slayer took her hand and lead her back to the boys, saying, "We'll just give it one more chance."

Both Hank and Spike looked downcast. The latter was promising good behavior to his mate with just a look. She nodded slightly in response then gestured for everyone to sit.

"Mom died a few years ago," Buffy began to explain, as she felt her heart clench. Spike put his arms around her, and she carried on. "We left messages with your secretary. Tried every number we had for you."

Hank shook his head, "I had no clue."

Dawn spoke up then saying, softly, "Maybe if you'd have stayed in touch. Called us every so often to see how we were?"

"I'm sorry, girls. I am," Hank replied, but – notably – made no vow to be any better in future.

"How did you find your old man, Niblet?" Spike asked.

"Online. He had ah, umm… profile."

The ex-vampire's eyes narrowed, but he didn't pry any further. The girl didn't want to admit she'd searched Google and stumbled upon her father on a dating site, and that she'd then had to sign up to the site at thirty dollars a month just to message him.

"We're moving back to California. Did Dawn tell you?" Buffy asked.

"No," said Hank – not looking particularly upset by the news.

"Right," Spike interjected again, as he stood once more and held out his hand, "Well, nice to meet you."

Hank looked at Buffy, then hesitantly shook the ex-vampire's hand when she gave him a nod. "I, uh… nice to meet you, too, uh, William."

When they all went to the door to see him out Dawn whispered to her sister, "I hope Spike's not that awkward when he meets my boyfriend,"

Both Spike and Hank turned round at that, then exclaimed, in unison, "You have a boyfriend?!"

Buffy rolled her eyes and pressed her hand to her forehead saying, "Here we go."

Some time after her father left and Spike finished his interrogation about her love life, Dawn helped Buffy clean up the kitchen while the ex-vampire had a shower.

Turning to her sister the girl commented, "Spike used the word daughter, before. You're having a girl?"

Buffy shook her head, then nodded, then clarified, "We don't know for sure. It's more of an instinct thing."

"Oh. Got any names picked out?"

The Slayer smiled, "I still like the name Joan, but he doesn't. And there was another one we were toying with, but I wanted to ask you your opinion first."

"You want to call her after mom," said Dawn. It wasn't a question but Buffy answered it anyway.

"Yeah. Would you… is that okay?"

The younger girl smiled, "Yeah, Buffy. She'd have liked that."

To be continued...