Dean was really, really bored. And when he was bored he either did one of two things.
He either pranked the hell out of someone, or did something really weird.
And since Sam wasn't in the mood for any pranks, he chose option two.
Hence why he was currently being used as a snuggle buddy for Bear, who loved his creature form. As Sam had so aptly put it, Dean's creature form was practically Bear's "puppy".
Which left Sam the one stuck driving them everywhere. If anyone asked, he had a fight with Dean again and his brother had offered the Impala.
To those in the know, he simply stated that Dean was bored and that usually shut anyone asking up. It was never a good thing when Dean was bored. Especially since Dean knew a shit ton of prank spells.
So Dean took a nice little nap with Bear keeping him firmly between his massive paws. A few cooling charms on his fur kept them both comfortable, and besides he rarely got to go around as Stitch for fun.
Sam put up with it for one reason, and one reason only. It shut his brother up and kept Dean out of his hair for a few hours if he was lucky.
Instead Dean stayed like that for two whole days because he was just that bored.
He almost turned back when someone shot at Sam from above the hotel roof.
Dean crawled up the roof invisible (Sam had helpfully charmed his fur with the disillusionment spell) and found... Gordon, the asshole vampire hunter?
He might not have been any good at legilmency, but the second he saw Gordon was aiming directly at Sam, Dean knew he had to do something.
So he decided to be a bigger asshole than the guy aiming at his brother.
Dean cackled, loudly from behind Gordon. It wasn't his usual prankster cackle, but the one that usually freaked Mort out for some weird reason.
Gordon damn near jumped out of his skin, and then he made the worst mistake he could.
He took out his hand gun and took a wild guess as to where Dean was before he started shooting.
Because the gun wasn't silenced, Dean didn't have to do more than break the bastard's leg in two places to make it impossible for him to escape the cops. All it would take was Sam's statement about him shooting them for no reason and Gordon would be jail bait for the familiars that happened to be doing time.
And Dean fully intended to let them know which prison this bastard was going to so they could send a few people in. To pay their...respects...as it were.
"I hate people named Ron. I don't know why, but this only cements my hate towards people with the name Ron," said Dean. They were in a bank, held hostage by an idiot who happened to spot a damn shifter and decided to play hero.
To top it all off, the idiot shared the same name as Harry's former best friend... Ron Weasly. It was either a huge coincidence or one of the universe's cosmic jokes that anyone named Ron was a complete idiot. Dean was betting on it being the latter.
"Right now I agree with you," muttered Sam under his breath.
"If he lives through this I'm dropping a permanent bomb on his ass," said Dean sourly. Sam nodded in agreement.
(Un?)Fortunately for Ron, he was killed by a sniper's bullet. Idiot just had to stand in the light.
"Damn. Okay, since that moron's dead, there's only one thing to do. Bear, find the damn shifter so we can leave already," said Dean.
Bear, who had been quiet and hiding under his enchanted collar, started sniffing for anything not human. It took him two minutes.
Dean expertly threw a conjured silver knife at the shifter, before they used a disillusionment spell to duck out a side door with the dog. Because they had parked far enough away that the bank's outside cameras wouldn't identify them later, it was easy making a break for it. And the fact they had gone under disguise insured no one would pin the death on Dean and Sam Harvelle.
Besides, they had made sure to short out the inner security cameras a few minutes after entering the place. Not like anyone would notice that fact until it was too late to stop them.
Dean was about to dispute the idea of angels when Mort appeared. So he decided to ask the one person who would know if angels really did exist or not definitively.
Mort, yes or no on the existence of angels?
Angels are real, and most of them are bigger assholes than most humans you know. The higher the angel, the more arrogance they tend to have. There was this one arch angel who was at least tolerable, but he left heaven centuries ago to avoid getting caught up in his brother's argument, said Mort immediately.
Sam looked triumphant at the knowledge that angels did in fact exist.
So what do they look like? Sam asked.
Like giant pillars of light. You know that series Dean likes to watch but always denies he's a sci-fi fan?
I am not a fan of Stargate SG-1!
Yeah?
Angels are pretty much transcending beings who just happen to share space with the souls of the dead. Again, they are complete arrogant assholes by Dean's usual definition. Basically they are like the Ancients of Dean's favorite sci-fi series.
Fine. Are we dealing with an angel or not?
Describe the signs or signals given. I can at least tell you if it is one, but I'm fairly certain it's not. I would have sensed one if it were anywhere near Dean.
Well the people chosen say they saw a pillar of light, and that the angel told them who to go after. Said there would be a pretty clear sign and they would know when they saw it.
Was this directly from the angel?
From what we can tell, yes.
And the people you spoke to were sane and heard clear English?
Yes to both, said Sam.
Then it's definitely no angel. Angels have to take vessels in order to speak to humans and when they do try to speak without them, they have the worst tendency to use Enochian, which is the language of heaven. Also, very few people can hear Angels without going insane, and to see an angel's true form will lead to their eyes being burnt out of their skull.
Let me guess. Being from a higher plane makes it difficult to communicate, let alone see them?
Precisely. Again, I would have felt if it was an angel. I am rather partial to Dean after all.
Sam snorted. Dean was fond of Mort, even if he was a cryptic jerk sometimes.
"Well at least Mort cleared that up before we made fools of ourselves. Though I am glad to know angels exist," said Sam.
"They sound like dicks with wings to be honest," said Dean flatly.
Mort snorted. That was an understatement.
"So it's not an angel. Let's find out what it really is then... Uh, Mort? Is this thing a shifter?"
No.
"Good. Last one involved some moron by the name of Ron and he really pissed me off."
It took Dean and Sam two days to figure out it was the priest who had been murdered at the church, and another hour to convince the current one to lead the last rites. That was all Mort would say on how to deal with the ghost. The brothers weren't exactly comfortable salting and burning a priest's bones.
Dean was in such a foul mood that he turned into Stitch and refused to change back for two days.
Dean was in a right state of panic. Sam had gone out for dinner and hadn't returned in hours. He had waited as long as he could, before he started blowing up people's phones.
Sam was nowhere to be found.
A few days later, Sam called him, and he sounded like he was in pain.
"Dean? Come quick. I can only keep control for so long before..."
"Sam! Location! Hell, send me a visual!" said Dean.
He was suddenly hit with a visual of a crappy motel room. He grabbed Bear, his wand, and a demon-killing knife and apparated straight to his brother. His car had an internal port key spell on it that would send it straight to Bobby's if he said the key word and sent a pulse of magic to that area. He activated it before he left. Bobby would know Dean found Sam and didn't want to waste time.
The first thing Bear did when they landed... was pin Sam to the floor, snarling with hellfire in his eyes. That could only mean one thing...Sam was possessed by a demon.
Dean growled and stared the ritual. Contrary to what Sam thought, he did know the words to the damn thing, but he had this habit of looking it up anyway to avoid screwing it up in the heat of the fight.
Sam didn't even try to fight it, he pushed with his magic and the demon went out screaming.
Bear let him up when the demon was completely gone.
"You alright Sammy?"
"Yeah," said Sam hoarsely. That was brutal.
"How the hell did that thing get the jump on you?"
"How should I know? Dammit, this is why we shouldn't put off looking up spells to make us safe from this shit!" said Sam.
"Hopefully Bobby will know something to keep them out," said Dean, rubbing his brother's back. He noticed that Sam had some fresh blood on his shirt.
"Sam, do a trace spell. We need to find the owner of that blood," said Dean.
Sam grimaced but did a trace spell. It took them a few hours, but they managed to get to the house in time to save the hunter.
Fortunately Dean's search for his brother was wide spread enough that the guy didn't shoot Sam on sight for the attack. That and he didn't react to the word "Christo" like he had before.
A few days after Dean found his brother, they got matching tattoos. Both were designed primarily to keep demons out of their bodies.
"I have a hunt for you two. Something to cheer Dean up after that whole possession fiasco," said Bobby. Dean had been relieved that the hunter would make a full recovery, but pissed that his brother had been the poor bastard the demon had used to get to him.
As a result, Dean was depressed as hell.
"What is it?" asked Sam.
"Not what. Who. I've gotten word Loki is active in a college campus...all signs point to him anyway," said Bobby.
"Loki, as in the pagan Trickster god? You're right, that definitely will cheer Dean up," said Sam grinning.
A chance to prank Loki? Dean wouldn't dare pass that up!
"So what's the hunt Sammy?"
"Oh, I'm not spoiling this surprise."
"What surprise?" asked Dean looking at him.
"What is the one monster you've always wanted a run-in with?"
"No."
"Yup. All signs point to one thing."
Dean's grin was more than a little predatory. The one thing he wanted to hunt was Loki, if only to start an all out prank war.
"So we're going to hunt Loki?"
"Bobby said it would cheer you up to hear Loki was nearby," said Sam grinning.
"Oh this is going to be so much fun!"
Dean was trying and barely succeeding in keeping the evil grin off his face. The 'janitor' seemed to sense he was holding something back, but didn't know what. So they played a little game.
Loki kept leaving little clues, Dean would pretend to follow up on them... he even got the pagan to jump when he groped him. It was hilarious seeing Loki spin around and hearing Dean's fake apologies about how he thought the Trickster was a girl.
Seeing the look Loki shot him in return made the entire thing worth it.
Dean was chortling in their shared motel room.
"Did you see his face?" said Dean.
"Like someone had slapped him with a fish!" cackled Sam.
Pranking the Trickster, totally worth whatever he tried to come up with later.
And best part of it was that Loki clearly thought they were still trying to kill him! It was hysterical!
"Wonder what it would take for him to figure out this is a prank war geared against him?"
"Probably not until someone clues him in!"
Suddenly Dean's phone went off. It was Bobby.
"Having fun yet idjit?"
"Hell yes! I might have to ask Mort to give me Loki's location next time I'm bored!" cackled Dean.
"Better him than us," said Bobby flatly.