RyderPOV-

I've said it before, and I'll say it until the day I die: Blair Anderson is the most beautiful girl in this world.

I love her physical features just as much as I love the person she is.

''Why are you staring at me like that,'' she asks as she looks at the envelope from NYADA.

It's the second week of April, and she's been waiting for this letter to arrive for weeks.

Now that it's here, she's afraid to open it.

''Because I love you.''

Everything about you, even the parts that you hate.

''Are you going to open the letter,'' I gently nudge her knee with my hand.

She'd gotten the letter today, but insisted on waiting for me to get home from taking Noah to spend the night with my mom before opening it.

''What if I didn't get in,'' she whispers ,''I… I need this, Ryder.''

''You're too talented not to have gotten into NYADA. If we didn't believe in you, Blaine, Jake and I never would have come up with the plan to talk to Mrs. Graybeck. Open it, or I'll do it for you.''

''I've got it,'' she tells me, peeling the envelope open.

It's silent then, her hazel green eyes scanning the paper quietly.

''Blair?''

''I… I got in,'' she smile up at me ,''And on a scholarship. I'm gonna be in the same class as Jake, Dance 104. I'm going to NYADA!''

''See? I knew you would-,'' I'm cut off when she brings her mouth to mine ,''What was that for?''

''Because you're one of the few people who still believes in me. So… thank you,'' she kisses me again.

Like every kiss that happened during our rare alone time, it becomes heated, and soon her dress is on the floor.

Not that I'm complaining.

''That was nice,'' she tells me a while later, catching her breath ,''It's been a while since we've just kissed like that. Not that sleeping with you isn't very, very nice. I just miss when it was this simple.''

''I do, too,'' I admit, taking in her flushed skin and slightly messy hair ,''You're too pretty, you know that?''

Of course, you're also a lot more than that.

''Am I,'' she questions playfully, pulling her blouse closed.

''And smart, and loving and just… I got really lucky.''

''As did I,'' she closes her eyes, relaxing in my arms.

This past week hasn't been easy on her. She's working more hours, preparing her dance class for their recital. She, Rory, and Kurt are taking shifts taking Blaine to physical therapy, and we're still on the fence about her being the surrogate for Quinn and Puck.

We'd love to, and we could use the money. But she's got a lot on her plate already, especially with her recent acceptance into NYADA.

''I heard Cassandra July is terrible,'' she whispers, rolling onto her side to face me ,''I'm really, really scared.''

''You're smart, you're talented, you're loving, and you're beautiful. As long as you're trying, she can't say anything to you,'' I move some hair from her face, ''And I'm sure Jake will help you.''

She finally looks at me, ''So this is really happening, huh? We're taking one step closer to our dreams.''

''I'm going to be a director, you're going to be a dancer and singer. One day we'll get a house, with a nice backyard for Noah to play in. If you still want to have more kids, and I know I do, we can do that. Everything's gonna be ours,'' I kiss her forehead, then look down at her, ''Why are you crying?''

''Because I'm happy. Don't get me wrong. I love you, and Noah and Grace my life. But it always felt like something was missing. I've been through a lot with you, and you were there through the darkest hours of it all. So… thank you. I'll be there for you, you'll be there for me, and we'll make it work.''

''Exactly,'' I kiss her ,''Marry me?''

''I thought I already said that I would,'' she smiles.

''No. I mean, like now. Okay, not right now. But in a few weeks or so. Let's just… we could go to city hall, and do it sooner. Or maybe a wedding chapel.''

''Right,'' she looks at me then ,''Oh my gosh, wait… you're serious? Ryder, our parents would kill us if they weren't at our wedding.''

''We could get married soon, and have a wedding when we can afford it in a few years. And you can still have your dance with your dad and everything else we want. But… I think if this past year has taught us anything, it's that life is fragile. I want you to be my wife.''

''Ryder, this is insane,'' Blair shakes her head, ''I love you. I want to marry you. But you can't just spring this up on me, I thought we wanted a long engagement? Until we were both out of college?''

''Blair, if we know we're going to get married at some point, then how does it make sense to wait?''

She's quiet for a while, before sighing ,''Give me some time to think.''

I guess that's fair. I am asking her to spend the rest of her life with me, after all.

''I love you, so I can agree to that,'' I kiss her.

''Good. I love you, okay? Don't doubt that,'' she continues before kissing me again, ''Now, can we please use the most of our alone time? Less talking, more kissing.''

''I'm not gonna argue with that,'' I deepen the kiss when I bring my lips back to hers, the conversation temporarily forgotten.

At least for one of us.

BlairPOV-

''So that hickey that you didn't bother covering up?,'' I smirk at Kate ,''Would that happen to be from a certain, gorgeous brunette?''

''If you're asking if Amber and I are back together, then yes. You're one to talk, though. I thought you and Ryder would have learned to be more careful,'' she holds Noah in her lap, smiling at me, tearing her eyes away from my neck to my eyes ,''But I don't think the reason you asked to meet me here is to discuss my love life, or foe me to invade yours. So what's up?''

''I actually did want to talk to you about my love life,'' I blush ,''I'm sorry, I just didn't know who to talk to. My dad would freak out, Sugar would tell Rory, and I'm not ready to face Quinn until I tell her my decision on the surrogacy.''

''I'm here for you,'' she shrugs ,''What's up?''

''Ryder wants to get married. Like some time in the next few months.''

''Well, we all knew you two were going to end up getting married. And you did say 'yes' when he proposed. So what's the trouble?''

''He promised me after we were both out of college is when we would start planning. I love him, I do. But with Noah, NYADA, work, and finally having some time to work on myself? I don't think I'm ready for that.''

Some day, definitely. But not now.

Kate is silent for a moment, then speaks again.

''Look, I can't tell you what to do about the surrogacy, or Noah, or NYADA, or this. But I can predict what you're thinking to yourself, because I know you. I know that you love your kids more than anything, and that you were happy when his second word was ''mommy''' because his first word was ''cookie''. I know that you're torturing yourself trying to decide whether or not to be Quinn and Puck's surrogate, because you have given up a lot already, but also because you just want them to experience the same thing you do. And I know that you only want Ryder. So what I don't understand is your hesitation?''

I don't know how to respond to that. Because I don't get it, either.

''You had so many firsts with him. I know your first time meant a lot to you, because I know who you are. And I know that you love Ryder way more than you love me-''

''I'm always going to love you, Kate.''

''You're always going to love me, but not the way that you love him ,''But my point is that you're in love with Ryder. The real him. This is just my opinion, mind you. And I'd even go as far to say he's the love of your life. Would that be true?''

''Yes,'' I admit ,''I love him, I love raising a family with him.''

''But are you sure you're ready to spend your life with him?''

No.

Yes.

''I don't know if now would be the time,'' I look to my son ,''I have enough to worry about.''

I can't imagine adding the stress of making a marriage work to this load, because it's a struggle just making us work right now.

We hardly get to see each other during the week, and we're going to be on completely different schedules when I start NYADA.

''Then you need to tell him that. Just because you love him doesn't mean you have to marry him right now. Some people never marry their first loves. And, not to be a pessimist, but high school relationships rarely work out for this long. That doesn't mean you two won't, though. Tell him that it's not 'no'. It's just… 'let's wait'.''

Waiting. That's good. And Ryder does tend to say things that he doesn't necessarily mean in the heat of the moment.

''Thank you. Maybe his suggestion, getting married so soon, would be find for someone else. And that's okay. But Ryder and I are just getting it together. I'll talk to him about it tonight.''

I love him. But this hesitation makes me feel sick. Nauseated, almost. I love Ryder, and I don't want to lose him. I'd hate to rush into anything with him, not now, when everything can be so fragile.

Because I don't want to be the reason we break.

KPOV-

''Dad? You okay,'' Rory questions, putting a dish in the cabinet.

He had no class, and an off day, so he brought the twins over and came to help me out.

''I'm fine,'' I shrug ,''Why wouldn't I be?''

''Well, for starters, you've been washing the same plate for five minutes.''

Oh.

''Right,'' I wince, handing the plate to him to dry ,''Sorry.''

''It's fine,'' he shrugs, ''But you do seem preoccupied. Anything you want to get off of your chest?''

What haven't I been keeping inside?

''It's just… I am exhausted. Between work, Blaine's physical therapy, and making sure the kids are taken care of, I haven't had any time to just relax. Take it all in.''

Blaine would understand, of course. But I don't want to put that on him. Not with everything going on right now. I can see the light leave his eyes a little, and I don't want him to know that I'm barely keeping it together.

He's had to be strong for the both of us plenty of times. Now, it's my turn to repay the favor.

''You know Blair, Ryder, Sugar and I are here to help, right? Yeah, we have our own lives, but family comes first.''

''I know. And I appreciate it. I do. You guys have been nothing but helpful,'' I admit.

''Well, you've been there for all of us at some point or another. The least we can do is return the favor.''

One of the few things I'm proud of is how well Rory was raised. Yes, his birth parents raised him for ten years. But knowing that I had in that?

That means more to me than anything I've ever accomplished in my career.

''Dad, look. You can't keep putting everyone before yourself. You have to turn to someone when things get hard for you.''

Times like this are usually when I turn to Blaine. I can't do that now. He's already getting down on himself about not being able to help out as much. Knowing that I'm actually struggling would make him feel even worse.

And I refuse to be responsible for that.

''I'm fine, Rory. It's my job to worry about you, okay? Don't worry about me.''

''You're my dad. I'm going to worry. You've done more for me than I could ever repay you for.''

So this is what my dad meant when he said some moments make parenting all worth it.

''Come here,'' I hug him ,''I appreciate that, Rory. And I am so proud of the caring, protective person that you've become. But I've got this under control. I promise.''

Okay, that's a complete lie. But I will keep it together.

I don't really have a choice, though.

''Alright, then. You know Sugar and I are here if you ever need anything. For now, I'd better get the twins home and put them in bed. I'll see you in a few days?,'' he asks, picking up Wendy as I take Finn.

''Sounds good to me.,'' I help him put their jackets on, pressing a kiss to Wendy and Finn's cheeks ,'''Thanks for doing this for us, Rory. I'll see you soon. And I expect you or Sugar to bring my grandchildren. I love these two.''

''And they love you,'' Rory hugs me ,''Bye, dad.''

I let Rory out, before turning off the lights and heading to my bedroom.

Blaine is in bed already fast asleep.

I strip down, and grab my pajamas, staring at my sleeping husband the whole time.

This is when I love him the most, I think: when he's completely vulnerable, cut off from whatever may be going on around him. Not worried, and in his most peaceful state.

''I love you,'' I turn off the lamp, pressing a kiss to his forehead ,''This isn't easy, but you're worth it. I promise you that we will get through this. Together.''

Just like we always do.

BPOV-

''How are you liking your chicken,'' Kurt asks, looking at me across the table.

It's our date night, somet

''It's fine. Delicious, really,'' I nod, poling the baked chicken with my fork.

''Good.''

This is worse than that awkward first date silence. But it's been like this for two months now.

''Can we stop pretending like everything is okay? Because we both know it's not.''

I made that mistake with Chase, and I refuse to make it with you. I have more to lose now than I did back then.

''Everything is fine. Great, even,'' he shrugs, stabbing a piece of broccoli with his fork and staring at me ,''What's up with you?''

''Well, I'm trying to enjoy a nice, romantic dinner with my husband. But I can't, because he's obviously keeping something from me. Kurt, we're not supposed to keep secrets from each other. Just tell me what's going on.''

''I have been trying so hard to keep it together since the accident. I thought I lost you, Blaine. And you don't deserve that. Neither you or Grace deserve any of this. I'd rather it be me than you,'' he puts his head in his hands.

I knew it. I knew he was holding it all in.

I guess it's time to lay everything in the open.

''When the other car hit us, I had no idea what was happening. My second thought was to protect Gracie. When I woke up and they said we'd been in the accident, my first thought was if she was okay. I didn't care about myself. That's exactly what you're doing. And I don't think that it's healthy for you.''

''What was I supposed to do, Blaine,'' he let's out a short, humorless laugh ,''Dump everything I'm feeling on you? Tell you that it feels like I'm being pulled a million different directions, even with everyone's help? That there are times when I wonder how the hell we're still going to make this all work out? No. Blaine, you'd just blame yourself. I can't have that. You're dealing with enough as it is.''

''So are you,'' I set my fork down ,''You have been there for me every step of the way, Kurt. Every physical therapy session that you could go to, every doctor visit? You were right by my side. I'm doing better, because somebody believes in me. You do still believe in me, right?''

I know it seems grim, but I'm doing so much better. Don't lose faith in me, Kurt. Not now.

''When they said that you'd most likely never walk again, I believed them. But I believe in you more, Blaine. Don't doubt that, please,'' he reaches across the table, taking my hand ,''You have to know that.''

''Then please, believe in me now. Kurt, you can come to me with everything. You know that. We have to communicate if we are ever going to make this relationship work. Let's look at the positive things for a moment, okay? I'm regaining feeling, Kurt. And mobility. I can move my legs a little, even if I can't walk yet. That's something. Grace's arm and leg healed well, and she didn't need surgery. We have kids that our always asking what they can do to help. Our friends and family have offered to do whatever they need to do if it will make things any easier for us. Cooper is flying out to help out with the kids when they're on summer break, and Burt and Carole will, too. We have friends from high school who would fly out here the moment that we need them. You're career is doing even better. And, if I have anything to say about it, I am going to walk into that classroom on the first day of the next school year. Is any of this easy? No. But I'm not giving up, and neither can you.''

If I made you believe in us once, I'll make you believe again.

''You never fail to pick me up. Thank you,'' Kurt sighs, fresh tears shining in glasz eyes.

''Come here,'' I wheel away from the table as he walks around it to meet me ,''We are going to be fine. We can clean up tomorrow before the kids get in. Right now, I just want to lay in bed with my husband.''

Under the sheets, you and I, just innocently kissing.

''I think that can be arranged. Blaine Anderson-Hummel, I love you,'' Kurt kisses me, deepening the kiss before pulling away much too quickly for my liking, ''And you're right. Everything's gonna be alright, and we're gonna have everything.''

''Exactly,'' I smile as he wheels me towards our bedroom.

I don't expect this to be easy for any of us, but I am not going to give up. As long as Kurt's in my corner, I can take whatever comes my way. No matter how tough it seems.

Because it's always darkest right before it gets better.

So what do you think about the Klaine talk? And Ryder's plan to get married soon? Should they do it? It can work either way.

Disclaimer- glee belongs to Fox and Ryan Murphy.