Dean hid as Stitch on the dashboard as Sam went in with a convincing fake version of his brother. He winced at the howl Bear let loose when his double was mauled by hell hounds. Still, he couldn't wait to see the look on that bitch Lilith's face when she found out it had been a fake Dean she had just killed.
As he knew from experience, it would take months before anyone figured out he wasn't there. If Mort hadn't given him directions he would probably still be down there now looking for Dumbledore and the others just to piss on them.
Now he had to deal with being a...shudder...redhead until they found out that he wasn't actually dead.
Honestly, he disliked having red hair since it only served to remind him of that bastard Ron. The twins and Charlie were alright, but they died after the war. So yes, he had problems with being a red head.
It was still preferable to being a damn blond though. That way lead to madness and stupidity. Just look at the entire Malfoy line!
Loki was grinning. Dean, or rather Daniel Singer, as his second identity claimed had called him in to take his baby brother on a long overdue vacation. The first trip was the one Sam asked for when Dean gave him the choice. The rest, however, would be well outside the States.
All he had said was "Pugs on a surfboard" and Loki immediately agreed to take them anywhere with a great beach and killer waves.
Too bad he couldn't ride a surfboard as Stitch. Not with how easily his creature form sank.
The good news was that they had passports so they could leave the country. The bad news was that Dean would have to use his alter identity just to do it.
Fortunately Dean had been Daniel before, on a case. Hell, it was the name on his fake government badges! It was like slipping into a pair of shoes he had forgotten only to find they still fit perfectly.
Sam and Jo had mocked him because he took those acting lessons in high school. Who was the better liar now?
Though he still hated the fact he made Daniel a redhead.
"So where exactly did Sammy ask to go for a vacation?"
"Disney Land and Universal Studios, respectively," said Dean.
"Seriously?"
"Hey, I'm not arguing. With how little hunting makes us we've never had a chance to actually go see those places...and when we were young enough to properly enjoy them, John never would have paid for it because he was so damn paranoid and was more interested in hunting," shrugged Dean, "So if my brother wants to have fun in some theme parks, then what the hell, why not?"
"Plus the fact you might get to see Lilo and Stitch...?" said Loki grinning.
"Bonus. I need to get a new copy anyway, because the ones I have are skipping like crazy. And Sam destroyed my copy of the soundtrack," said Dean scowling.
At some point when Dean was in hell, Sam found his copy of the soundtrack and proceeded to massacre it. To be fair, Dean did have it on his music player, but he liked to play the CD at full blast on his laptop.
That was stress relief.
"Okay, this I have to join in because I want to see what Sam's like when he's not in hunter mode," said Loki.
Dean smirked.
"Then you'll be designated the official picture guy," said Dean.
"Wait, you mean you don't mind?"
"Better you than this Ruby chick who's been hanging around us. We've run into her five times on a hunt, and from what she's been hinting at she remembers being human. Frankly the only demon I'm willing to trust is Crowley because I know I can't trust him!"
"Wait, did you just say Ruby?"
"I know. She's a demon, one who seems to be helpful. Unfortunately for her I was paying attention while I was gone. She's one of Lilith's, and there's no way I'm letting her near my brother while the demons search for me in the pit," said Dean flatly.
"So you know..."
"I know she's not going to be near my baby brother if I have anything to say about it!" said Dean.
"Actually I was more interested if you knew about the seals," said Loki, leaning against the Impala.
"You mean the one keeping Lucifer in? Yeah, I was listening to the demons. Supposedly my breaking in hell was the first. Can't wait to see their reaction when they find out I slipped through the cracks!" said Dean smirking.
Loki was surprisingly easy to talk to, and Sam treated him the same way they treated Mort.
He wasn't a source of information on hunts (unless he wanted to be) and they weren't going to ask him for help when things got tough unless they had no other options and would do their best to repay the favor it kind. Loki had been surprised by that attitude, but in reality he liked it. A lot. It meant he was more than a source of information and extra power to them.
He was a friend.
However since they were still in the States, Loki was going to wait before he sprung his real surprise on them. Sam had an idea of what Loki was going to tell them, but he had yet to confirm it. All he knew was that Loki was way too powerful to be an ordinary pagan Trickster.
Sam couldn't help his grin. They were in Florida at Universal Studios for the first half of their much needed vacation. Dean was grinning too...if only because he had just given Sam a pair of puppy ears and a tail that was wagging every time he walked.
Loki was doing his best not to laugh at the sight of an overly excited Sam Harvelle with dog features.
That was before Dean showed Loki his favorite trick that he taught all three dogs.
"Alright guys, put your paws up!" said Dean grinning.
Loki looked confused and Sam was exasperated.
All three dogs sat on their haunches and then put their front paws up in the air.
It took him a few seconds before Loki burst out laughing. That was the most hilarious thing he had seen in years.
"This is hilarious."
"Wait until later. Danny puts on some music and they do this weird dance. And every time he says 'put your paws up' they do that," said Sam tiredly.
Loki looked at Dean impressed.
"I have to see that."
"Oh I can do you one better. It's on Youtube," said Dean grinning.
"Didn't it have like two million hits?" said Sam.
"Just went up to three. Apparently two pugs and a St. Bernard doing a dance and then acting like they were arrested by cops is internet gold," said Dean.
"I bet!" said Loki laughing. He had to look that one up later.
Dean was staring, his eyebrows twitching.
"Danny what... What the hell is this?" said Sam.
There, on the park signboard, was a notice for a new attraction.
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
It was only out of common sense that kept him from going down there and trying to find out what the hell was going on.
Loki however, took one look at the sign and winced. He had forgotten about that particular attraction.
"Danny, calm down. I'll get you the books to read later. Unless you want to go back to England and kill the author, giving those idiots a chance to find you," said Loki carefully.
"The author's British?" said Dean sharply.
"She's from Europe. It's a hugely popular series. I'm surprised the MoM over there hasn't picked up on it yet, or she might be a squib," confirmed Loki. He had never read or seen the movies, but he had heard about them.
Dean grit his teeth.
"Let's just avoid that section...and make sure Danny here is kept from doing anything stupid to get his tracker on us," said Sam finally.
He wasn't above having Bear stay on top of Dean all night just to keep him from causing trouble.
Sam could only feel relief leaving Universal Studios. Since Dean found out about the Harry Potter series (which was for the most part accurate, except for several parts which were just made up) he was in a foul mood.
That was before Loki gave him something to take his mind off it. Dean had half a mind to kick the guy's ass just for writing about their life.
The only reason he did it was because the guy got several facts so wrong it wasn't even funny. Like the part about them actually caring about John enough to go looking for him when he went missing.
Or the way Sam died. It was pathetic.
Loki was actually wondering how the hell the current Prophet got so many facts wrong.
"Next up, Disney Land!" said Loki far too cheerfully.
"Are you high or something? You're a little too..."
"I may or may not have run into some hippies earlier with special brownies," said Loki, not confirming it.
"Hand some over or else," said Dean.
Sam came into the room to find Dean in Stitch form riding Bear and acting loopy.
"Special brownies or unusual strong painkillers?" he asked.
"Brownies. Wait, how did you...?" asked Loki.
"Dean only acts like that when he's loopy from either industrial strength pain killers, or when he manages to get hippie brownies," said Sam flatly. He had seen it only twice, mostly because Dean hated it when he was so out of it he didn't notice his brother getting black mail material on him.
Loki laughed and pointed at the camera. Sam snorted.
"Disney tomorrow?"
"Better believe it! This is comic gold!"
"DAMN IT! WHO PUT THIS MAGNET HERE?!"
"Magnet next to Loki's camera?" asked Sam.
"Damn straight. It's bad enough you record it when I get loopy, I don't want him with any real ammo on me."
Sam sighed, before he said loudly to speak over Loki's ranting "Lo, wasn't that thing powered by runes anyway?"
Loki paused in his bitch fest, then his face brightened. Electronics run by runes were rarely ruined by magnets. He rewound the tape and started cackling when he realized it was still intact.
"Dammit Sammy, did you have to remind him?"
"Better he gets blackmail now then later," said Sam wisely. Besides, he had seen the tape. All it had was Stitch riding Bear like a horse and being treated like a puppy. Not really blackmail material.
Disney was fun...until they somehow got trapped on the "It's a Small World" ride. Five hours of that and Dean was ready to never come back. The worst part was that the tape itself kept repeating and the staff didn't have the presence of mind to shut the damn thing off until someone finally realized that people weren't coming back an hour in.
Even Sam considered that the worst part of Disney because Loki, for some unknown reason, insisted on humming the damn song to annoy them!
Three days after that fiasco (after Dean had gotten an autograph from Stitch, to Sam's amusement) they were in Hawaii.
And, as Dean had promised, he got the pug twins and Bear riding a surfboard. It was hilarious. Loki thought it funny enough to make that his new wallpaper on the phone he popped into existence!
She was vastly irritated. She didn't know how Harry or whoever the hell had the Hallows had escaped her notice for so long, but the only information she had on the new Master was that the man had a dragon for an animagus form.
And even that had been nearly impossible to come by!
At this rate the Ministry would send hunters after her and slap some magic draining cuffs so she couldn't escape.
Everyone in England knew America had a demon and hunter problem. Both were why it was generally avoided by the muggleborn.
It was considered a miracle that there ever was an American Ministry to work with.
Still, she had come to this blasted country without registering her wand. She wanted to be in and out of the States before they had a chance to complain about her abducting one of their citizens.
A pity Ginny had recently been arrested for trying to get into the Potter vaults. She was furious when she originally found out Harry had abandoned her and the children.
Then again everyone who knew the Potters also knew that the kids weren't even Harry's. Sure, they had been born in the right time frame, but according to the goblins the first child James was in fact the child of Blaise Zabini and the girl Lily was from some random muggle Ginny had run into at a pub. She was notorious among the pure blood circles for being a cheater.
It was believed Harry had found out, which was why he left without saying anything. The fact he was kind enough to leave two vaults for the kids wasn't unusual, but now the money was up for grabs.
At least, that is until the goblins stated that the real owner was still very much alive and started this mess.
So long as the soul was alive, the vaults remained active. He just had to claim them.