A/N: Remus learns of the Marauder's 'Little Black Book' and Remus, Lily and Severus hatch a plan.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
When dinner was finished and the dishes magically disappeared, I followed the Marauders out of the Great Hall and to the Gryffindor common room, giving Lily a quick wave as I exited through the large hall doors.
"Look," James said, nudging Sirius as we walked up the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower. "Is that Justin talking to Pamela? She was supposed to owl me but never did. Now I see why."
I looked ahead to the see a blonde-haired Ravenclaw I could only assume was Pamela talking to a tall Hufflepuff boy. She was cute but James could easily find another girl.
"James, I'm sure she," I began but Sirius quickly took his wand and said, "Don't worry, mate. I got this."
Before I even realized what was happening, Sirius had aimed his wand at the Hufflepuff boy's back. The blonde-haired girl screamed and ran as huge boils erupted all over his face. He screamed himself before running in the opposite direction towards the Hospital Wing.
I turned towards Sirius, ready to admonish him but he was doubled over on the floor, James right beside him. They both got up and James clapped Sirius on the back. "Thanks, mate. Now let me go comfort a damsel in distress. Be back in a moment," James said as he ran in the direction Pamela went.
Sirius then turned to me and said, "This is the Marauder way, Remus. We look out for each other."
I said nothing as I let Sirius continuing leading me to the common room. What could I say? It seemed that this was Sirius' way of dealing with things and I didn't want something like that to happen to me. Though I didn't approve of the pranking, I tried to look at the good side of things and it was nice to know that these guys would do anything to have my back.
We walked a bit until we came upon a portrait of a large woman in a pink dress. "Password?" she asked.
"Come on," Sirius said, "You've known us for five years."
"Password, Mr Black?" she repeated.
"Hello guys," a tall Gryffindor boy said to them.
"Hello, Frank," James said as he let the boy talk to the portrait. James leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Frank is the head boy."
"Thank you, Mr Longbottom," the large woman in the portrait said as she swung outwards. Frank held out his hand before he let them enter.
I was in awe as I looked around the cosy room decorated in reds and golds. There were many bookcases against the walls, students already sitting at tables reading and playing Wizard's chess and a large fireplace between two staircases.
"You must be Remus," Frank said as he held out his hand to me. "I'm Frank, the head boy and you're new best friend."
I gave Frank an awkward smile as he shook my hand. I wasn't used to such forward friendly people. "Over there are the staircases where-" Frank began but was interrupted as Sirius came up behind me and put a hand on my shoudler.
"Don't worry, Frank. We can show Remus around," he said with a large smile while giving Frank a strange look.
Frank just smiled and said, "If you need anything, just as me, right Sirius?"
"That's enough, Frank," Sirius said as he turned me away from Frank and towards the staircase to the left of the fireplace.
"Frank means well, but sometimes he can be a bit overwhelming, if you know what I mean," Sirius said as they climbed the stairs.
"But he lets us get away with anything, which is why we keep him around," James added from behind me.
Sirius pushed open the door to the room marked "Fifth Year" before stepping through.
"This is the dorm?" I asked. Who ever heard of a dorm with a king sized bed? The other three beds around it looked like dolls' in comparison. Near the king bed was also a large armiore, black floor length mirror and a ?
"I brought those from home and Frank doesn't tell McGonagall," Sirius said as he threw himself onto his bed.
I walked a bit closer before noticing a small piece of parchment on the ground near to Sirius' bed. I picked it up and realized it was a small picture of Sirius and Marlene sitting on a large blanket on the grass. His arm was around her and the pair of them were laughing at the person holding the camera. Sirius suddenly took the picture from me and put it in his school trunk.
"Pete, did you hear about the Cannons loss over the weekend?" James asked as I moved over to my own trunk at the foot of one of the other beds.
"It was to be expected, James. The Cannons haven't won a game in months," Peter said as he searched through his own trunk for his night clothes.
"They can dream, can't they?" Sirius said with a laugh before he looked at me and asked. "Do you know who the Cannons are, Remus?"
I froze. I never followed sports, concentrating more on books and studies. I hazarded a guess, "A Quidditch team?"
There was a tense moment before the three boys laughed. "If you can call them that," Sirius commented lightly.
There was a knock on the dormitory door before Frank walked in with a few tall bottles. "Here's the stuff you wanted, Sirius," he said as he handed one to each boy.
I opened the bottle as I watched the other boys do and was suddenly overcome with the strong smell of alcohol. The other boys didn't seem to mind as James and Peter began to chug theirs. "Is this hard liquor?" I asked.
Frank looked at me funny before he grinned and gave Sirius a wink. "He's definitely a keeper. So what's been happening around Hogwarts? Give me the details. I spend so much time with McGonagall, I feel like I miss out on everything."
Sirius gave Frank a pointed look. "Uhh.. Frank," Sirius said from his bed while pointing at the door with the neck of his bottle.
Frank held out his hands and said, "I understand. Goodbye guys, goodbye Remus." He then left the Marauders in their dorm and closed the door behind him.
I took a seat on my bed as I watched the Marauders just chat among themselves, occasionally taking a sip of my drink to fit in. I was here for the experiment. I was here to learn and remember. It wasn't that I was actually interested in what they were saying or anything...
Sirius suddenly went into his trunk and pulled out a well-worn black book.
"I can't believe that thing hasn't been torn to pieces yet," James remarked as Sirius opened it to write down a few things.
I sat up a bit straighter to get a closer look. It definitely looked like it had seen better days and was probably being held together by magic.
Sirius noticed me looking and said, "Lemme show you something, Remus. This is our 'Little Black Book', though it's not just limited to intimate relations but anythin that happens around Hogwarts that we thought deserved to be recorded."
James and Peter nodded as I sat next to Sirius on his bed as he flipped through the book.
'Hannah Thomas is a whore'. "Still true," James said.
'Melanie Graham is a fat virgin' "Half-true," Sirius said proudly.
"Really, Sirius?" James admonished as he flipped the page. Sirius just shrugged.
'Richard Brown made out with a hot dog' "That's a day I don't want to relive," Peter said with a shudder.
'Lily Evans' "And Snivellus," Sirius hissed. "I don't get why she hangs around him."
I chuckled as I remembered what Lily had said to me the first day. "He acts as if a dementor crawled up his arse and died," I said outloud.
The three boys looked at me before Sirius broke out in laughter. "That was good. Let's add that," he said as he grabbed his quill.
The smile on my face dropped slightly as I watched him write. Maybe I should have kept that to myself and not given them more ammo against my friends...
"So they have this ratty black book where they write mean things about all the students here," I explained to Lily and Severus the next day in Potions.
"What did it say about me?" Lily asked as she flipped through her potions book, trying to focus on her potion. Severus wasn't even listening as he muttered the potions instructions to himself under his breath.
I froze before turning to Lily slowly. I didn't want her to feel bad and I couldn't mention the thing about Severus either. "You're not in it," I said, looking into the mouth of my own cauldron.
Lily scoffed. "Typical of Black to leave me out," she said. Then she turned to me, "You have to steal that book, Remus. We could make copies and show everyone that Black is evil."
"I don't steal, Lily. And I'm sure they'll notice that their little book is missing," I said to her.
"There are two kinds of evil people in the world, Remus: people who do evil and people who see others doing evil and do nothing to stop it," Lily said.
"Does that mean I can burn Lisa's horrible mustard-yellow sweater she loves to wear?" Severus asked as he looked across the room at the mentioned girl.
Lily just glared at Severus who shrugged her off, before turning back to me. "Okay then, Remus, don't steal it. But you have to tell me what Black is up to."
"I don't like this 'spying' thing, Lily," I said.
"Don't worry. It'll just be our little secret," Lily said giving me a comforting smile that didn't really help.
"You're hiding something," Sirius said as I entered the dorms. I hadn't even had time to put down my bookbag before he spoke to me.
He found out my secret. He must have noticed the weird tendency I have to scratch my neck when I'm nervous. Or maybe he knew I was spying on him. Do I start apologizing, groveling, denying everything? "What secret?" I asked as my hand moved to my neck.
"You like Marlene," he said with a shrug. "Look, I don't care really. You can go after her if you want, but let me tell you. She only cares about school, her mum and her friends."
She sounded like very wholesome girl with good morals. "Is that a bad thing?" I asked.
Sirius seemed to not have heard me as he continued, "But if you like her, that's fine. I can talk to her for you if you want?"
I had yet to say anything to her on my own and having someone like Sirius, who was really good with girls, could really help me. "Really? You would do that for me? Nothing embarassing please."
He grinned and said, "Don't worry. I know exactly what to say." Then he leaned in close, "But aren't you mad that James told me?"
"No," I said slowly. I hadn't really thought about how Sirius had found out but I wasn't mad. I mean, I didn't think it would stay a secret, and now Sirius was going to help me.
"Because if you are, you can tell me. He shouldn't have said anything. It was a real asshole move right there."
"No, I'm not mad. Sure, it was kind of assholish, but I'm not mad. He just likes attention and knowing things others don't," I said as I took a seat on my bed.
Sirius smiled and then said loudly, "See, James, I told you he wasn't mad."
I was a bit confused but then James appeared from out of thin air holding a silvery cloth in one hand. He had been standing there the whole time?
"I can't believe you'd say that, Remus. I haven't been anything but nice to you."
I was sure I looked like a gaping fish. James was upset with me and Sirius had obviously set me up.
"Well, we're late for class," Sirius said as he grabbed James and the two left the room.