Disclaimers: All rights to Marvel. Characters, lines & context from Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), TV series, Cartoons & Comics.
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The spiritual Native American Indians used symbols and signs to share their history, ideas and dreams from generation to generation. Arrows signified protection, direction, movement and power. Two arrows depicted together are the symbol for war. Crossed arrows means friendship.
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The Arrow
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Growing up, Clinton Francis Barton learned at early age to hide from his abusive father. Alcoholic, Harold Barton caused a car accident that resulted in the deaths of both he and his wife, the contrite Edith. Although he cried for his mother, the seven-year-old boy didn't feel anything looking at his father's coffin – only emptiness…
After waiting six years for an adoption that never came, he followed his older brother Barney, fleeing from the children's home to work and live in a traveling circus. Eager to be accepted, Clint was mentored by circus performers, Swordsman and Trickshot, who trained the talented teenager in archery and acrobatics. In the end, they just wanted to use him in robberies, which got him in trouble with Barney who had joined the Army.
Clint swore he would never feel orphaned again, or be abandoned. Hawkeye was born and, through the years, he survived, keeping everyone at an arrow distance.
Until the Black Widow.
While working freelance in Europe, the archer crossed paths with the KGB's secret division, and they turned his world upside down. Thanks to a potent pheromone, engineered as a scent that could be applied like a perfume, a very young Natalia Romanova took complete control of him. Even the jaded and experienced Clint didn't have any defense against the powerful biochemical weapon that, used skillfully by the Red Room operative, trapped him into peaceful submission. The archer had only one desire, to obey the Russian spy, and he did everything she asked for. Nothing ever happened between them, but it was the strangest feeling ever – a sense of the family he never had, and that made him… happy. Until the day her boss ordered that the archer should be eliminated. Against all orders, she set him free. With a kiss on the cheek, she nulled the chemical effects and Clint realized she had been a slave too. He thanked her and left.
The problem with chemical influence, however, was that, willingly or not, after a certain period of time, his body got used to them. It felt like abstinence… He couldn't deny it, he missed that fake feeling, although he couldn't name it. He felt an emptiness that he hadn't felt in a very long time.
Despite everything, Hawkeye became known as a long-distance lethal weapon. That's what made Nick Fury give him a second chance when he got caught doings heists with a circus gang. The reluctant criminal turned into the perfect spy. No attachments, no relationships, just the next mission. And he never missed.
Then, Fury made the infamous Russian spy his next target.
When it was his time to shoot the arrow, Clint simply couldn't do it. No matter how dangerous she was, he needed to try and save her, as she did with him. It was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life. She was about to kill him, when Fury appeared and shot her with a tranquilizer dart. "Damn. She's good."
Panting, Clint agreed, "Exactly. Talk to her. Give her the chance you gave me."
The Black Widow accepted the offer. With everything they unveiled about the Red Room methods, it was implied that she had been brainwashed, maybe more than once – a common practice to prevent revealing the KGB secrets. Probably that was the reason she didn't seem to remember their first encounter. Anyway, Clint never told anyone about it, ever.
Since the archer and the spy started to work on the same side, and he got to know Natasha Romanoff, he couldn't help but admire her. Although she was thirteen years younger than him, she was the example to be followed. Everything about the Black Widow was a secret, but Hawkeye didn't miss any detail, sadly realizing that she went through hell since a young age – yet, she never flinched. Suddenly his orphan story didn't look so bad after all. Despite the criminal background, both value loyalty. Professionally, they were kind of similar, detached and efficient. Through the years, the most lonely experts learned to trust each other as partners and, when it was needed, they worked well as a team. Secretly in Clint's heart, the fake feeling evolved… he took the role of a protective brother, in the most subtle way to not antagonize the always independent spy.
Then Loki attacked. Sadly, Clint was mind controlled, but this time there was pain and guilt. While something was possessing his body, his consciousness was kept locked in the dark. The Black Widow freed him, but it was Captain America's trust that gave Hawkeye the confidence to start over. The Avengers were formed into a team, saved the city and became heroes.
Bye-bye anonymity, bye-bye lonely life.
The guy whose codename was Hawk-eye, and who used a weapon that required a minimum distance to be fired, was invited by no other than Iron Man, to live at the soon to be Avengers Tower. The archer couldn't deny it – when they first moved in, the benevolent billionaire didn't spare resources to provide his team members with what he called 'the basics', offering to each one of them, complete independent living quarters, with a fully equipped common residential area – it was like Disneyland, but for grownups.
Unfortunately, family was a complex concept for most of them, and to live so close to a guy who could literally take the place down in a rage explosion was, to say the least, tense. Let's face it, superheroes being roommates would only work in the cartoons. Despite the luxury and the facilities, after a while it proved impossible to live this close to such eccentric personalities and Tony opted to give one floor to each one.
It had always intrigued Clint why an entire floor, since most of the space was just… empty. What normal person could fill that much square feet? Not that any of the Avengers could be called 'normal', but still… Jokes aside, after living together for almost two years, the archer realized that it ended up being a very practical arrangement to avoid conflict. No one would have to see each other unless they wanted to, or if it was needed. And that had ensured a relatively peaceful coexistence.
More than ever, the married archer appreciated his privacy. The 43-year-old was experiencing how complicated it was to share a life with someone. He wondered if he would ever achieve with Bobbi half of the connection that Steve and Natasha demonstrated. Unsurprisingly, the soldier and the spy's equilibrium was shown in their now shared floor. They managed to fill their place with personal touches, like his art studio and her yoga garden. It felt like a home, and that's what Clint dreamed to build with Bobbi.
It was when the Winter Soldier attacked and Clint realized that he could lose his team… that he truly accepted the hidden truth within his beaten heart – those were the ones he considered his friends. And it was when he realized he didn't live in the emptiness, not anymore.
Besides his wife, the true love of his life, there was one person who meant family for him. With everything settled back in place, the archer was waiting for a chance to catch up with his partner.
Natasha was doing her yoga training in the Japanese Garden when JARVIS announced, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Agent Barton is asking if he can come in."
"Yes, J, send him in."
Clint stopped by the entrance, "Where is Sneg? He didn't come to check on me."
At the center stone, she replied without disturbing her beautiful pose, "He must be with Steve at the studio."
"Jeez. This place is always so…" As usual, he stayed by the door, sitting on the wooden floor, never on the sand.
"Peaceful."
"I was gonna say clean."
Natasha smirked, "Well, compared to your place, everything looks cleaner."
The image of Clint's room when he first moved in to the Tower came to both their minds. Tony had been showing Sam the place when they had entered the archer's nest. The rookie had been shocked, "For a guy with perfect aim, he can't hit a garbage can, can he?" The Falcon's words, plus the room's photo, had been sent to everyone's mobiles in a blink of a second, courtesy of the noisy genius.
Sardonically, Clint replied, "Funny. Bobbi says the same."
"Did she come back already? Any news?"
"No. She… No news."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," but seeing her poignant green eyes, he replied, "She's being a bitch. What's new?"
"Why?"
"Why…? Since when do you girls need a reason?"
Visibly relaxed and enjoying the joke, Natasha laughed, "She really got you! You've never called me a girl before."
"Who are you?" He mocked, "And what have you done with my partner?"
She said quietly, "I missed you."
It was too personal an answer for the always reserved spy. After everything she went through he got suspicious, "Are you really okay?"
"I am." She turned to him, "But you are not. Go ahead, spill it up. What's she's complaining about?"
Rolling his eyes, he gave up. "Everything. SHIELD. You."
"Me?" As much as her voice denoted a slight surprise, her body remained perfectly balanced in what he could imagine was a very difficult movement. "Why me?" She looked straight at him, "And why did Tony said you were stubborn?"
No way he could avoid such a direct question from the Black Widow. He stammered, "I… Because… They say I freaked out when you were in the coma."
"Did you?"
The smile on her face was surprisingly sweet, but he couldn't melt so easily in front of her, "Ha-ha." Once she didn't move, he felt compelled to continue, "I was worried. What did you expect?" Still, not a single movement. He sighed, "We couldn't trust SHIELD so I couldn't say everything to Bobbi. It's not that I don't trust her, but she was there, you know? Ears everywhere."
Finally, Natasha changed her position, and replied, "Did you try talking to her? It usually works."
"You are too funny today, aren't you?"
"I think you're overreacting. Bobbi is too smart…"
"She's jealous… of you."
"Still? I'm sorry…"
"I know, it's ridiculous." Suddenly, he couldn't hold it in anymore, and averting his eyes, he confessed sheepishly, "Technically, you were the first one who broke my heart." Natasha stopped, instantly in shock. Without looking at her, Clint continued ashamed, "I know it was the chemicals… But… it felt like love…"
Guilt took hold of her, "Clint, none of that was real. Those were powerful drugs to play with your mind. I'm so sorry…"
"Do you remember? I thought…"
"The drug that Barnes hit me with, it brought back all the memories."
"I'm sorry." Getting up, he walked towards her and sat on a stone right in front of her. But she was completely tensed, so he tried gently, "Natasha, it's okay. You were a kid. Please, don't get me wrong. I would never… ever." Her uneasiness was palpable, and it was his time to feel guilty. "I shouldn't have say it this way. Man, I'm a jerk."
She raised an eyebrow, and he said, embarrassed, "Just listen, okay?" He took a deep breath, "I didn't get it then. I was… broken. The cliche orphan-guy-with-abandoned-issues, you know?" He opened a warm smile, "In a certain way, you healed me."
The spy looked incredulous – why would he be okay with any of that horror that was the Red Room mind manipulation?
But the archer was smiling honestly and quickly explained, "It was fake, I know, but man, it knocked me down. It scared me to death. I ran even faster. Then, Bobbi… She's feisty, you know? She literally chased me. I had no choice… I… I realized that she was making me feel all that again. But it was different, much more intense, and it was for real." With the most bright blue eyes, he shrugged his shoulders happily, "That why I married her."
Natasha's eyes moistened, and she sighed, "I don't know what to say." After a brief pause, she whispered, "I am happy for you."
Noticing how reticent she was, he asked puzzled, "But?"
"Bobbi is right to be jealous…" There was a twinge of guilt in her voice.
"No, no, no. That's not what I mean. Damn." He shook his head disappointed, "I won't open my mouth ever again."
"Too late."
"It wasn't about you, don't you get it? You rock. You know you do. But back then you were a kid, okay? Please. I was 31."
"I was 17…"
Last year, when the late Sitwell had called Natasha a whore, Clint had broken his nose. Also, the archer had told the spy about their first encounter, reassuring her that even under mind control, she had been nothing but a classy woman. Ashamed, she had asked for forgiveness, but they hadn't talked much about it. Worried about her, Clint had opened up with Steve, asking him to take care of her. Remembering the Captain's words, "She needed to hear it from you", Clint replied, "Exactly, a kid. Believe me. It wasn't about you." He scratched his hair nervously. "I wasn't afraid of being hurt and I was happy. That was a first. That was what scared me the most. And when you kissed my cheek, everything vanished."
"It was the antidote, in my lipstick. A vaccine."
"Why? Why did you do it?"
"That was when I found out that they were using the drugs to control me too. It wasn't right. Not with me, not with you." She gave him a soft smile, "That was when I started to fight against the mind control."
The pain in his eyes was unmistakable, "I'm sorry I didn't help you…"
"Don't be silly. I trapped you."
After an awkward silence, he said, "Look. Now I understand. The drug opened my heart. You are my family. You always have been. And it was the strongest thing I felt at that time. But it's not the same I feel for Bobbi, okay?"
She sighed, visibly relieved.
"You pointed me in the right direction. Even without knowing it." He mimicked his usual archer's movements. "My arrow."
Natasha stopped, "What if Steve talks to her?"
"Him? Why him?"
She raised her left arm showing a charm bracelet. "He gave me this." She picked up the heart smiling, then the snowflake, "Sneg," and finally the pendant with two arrows crossed. "He brought this last one after we talked about that arrow necklace you gave me. It's you."
"How does he know it?" Shocked, Clint asked, "Do you know what this means?"
"I thought the arrow meant protection, and direction, which it did, and that's what I told him." The archer nodded, and she continued, "But he showed me a book of Native American Indians artcrafts, you know how he loves these art books. And he explained that depending on how they were placed, two arrows could mean war or friendship." She tilted her head a little, "That was what you were offering me, right? A choice."
Steve's perceptiveness never ceased to amaze Clint. The archer agreed silently, as his eyes moistened.
"You were not the only one who was broken." She placed a soft kiss on his cheek, "Thank you. And I'm serious, he can convince Bobbi for sure."
He chuckled, "That guy… I thought he would be jealous."
A faint blush spread over her cheeks and she bit her mouth. "You are the only one he trusts next to me."
"Tell me about it. He wouldn't leave your side unless I was there."
"What else happened?"
Letting out a sharp breath, he confessed, "I lost control. I stood by his side, whenever he needed me. But seeing you there and him beaten the way he was… It drove me crazy, Nat. I wanted to kill that guy. And Cap was defending him…"
"Barnes? It wasn't his fault, Clint. You of all people should know that."
A dark shadow fell over the archer. "I can't forgive myself for all the pain I caused, why should I forgive him?"
"You need to stop this nonsense. You faced Asgardian magic, something we have no clue about. You need to let it go. And you can't compare your experience to his. Barnes was treated like a robot."
He looked offended, "You and Cap almost died because of this assassin. He tried to mind control you. How can you be okay with this?"
"I am not okay. Believe me. But that's not the point. Steve…"
"He was blind. He only cared about his childhood friend. How could he forgive what the guy did to you?"
"Steve doesn't have anyone like this, who understands him, like how it is with you and me. He needs Bucky. And we need to find him." The spy lowered her voice. "You don't need to forgive Barnes, but you should do it for Steve. He's troubled. Since he found out Bucky was alive, he blames himself for all his friend went through."
"But it wasn't his fault."
"You know him." She took a deep breath, "Do you think it's easy for me? I met this guy at the Red Room. He reminds me of the time that I want to forget. The gushing red in my ledger." Then she rolled her eyes, "But the thing is, the guy I met doesn't exist anymore. And it doesn't matter. Because they have been friends since they were kids, since Steve was skinny, weak, defenseless, and Bucky stood up for him, protected him. This guy isn't the Winter Soldier, the terrorist, the assassin. He is Steve's Bucky. And that's the only thing that matters to me."
The archer is taken by surprise with her admission, and completely shocked when she reaches the main point, "He is Steve's brother… the same way you are mine."
Over the years, their partnership became more solid than friendship, but they demonstrated it through actions, not words. Startled with her open statement, his eyes get moist and he yields instantly, "I'll do it."
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(Extra scene from Chris Crush, Chapter 18 The Iceman)
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Ref: Fanfiction: Chris Crush (main), chapter 13 Skin – Clint and Natasha's past encounter.
Ref: Comics:
Tales of Suspense (1964) #60 – [Natasha about Clint] He believes any lie I tell him! Strong as he is, he is putty in the hands of the Black Widow!
Black Widow (2004) #6 "Now that's what I call a woman (Reprise) (Part 6)" – [Lyudmila Kudrin] We designed a pheromonal lock and key, a biochemical scent that could be applied like a perfume. Black Widow operatives would be incapable of committing violence, or even extensive disobedience, against anyone wearing the scent. To try would be like attempting to harm someone you cared deeply about, like murdering a loved one.
Hawkeye Blindspot #1 (2011) & Hawkeye Vol 1 #1 "Listen to the Mockingbird"
Ref: Cartoons: Avengers Assemble 1x24 "Crime and Circuses" – [Clint] Back in the day, I worked the circus as Trickshot. But I never felt good about it. So during our biggest heist ever, I decided to trigger the alarm. Of course we all got captured, but Fury saw something in me. Gave me a chance to walk the right path.
Author's note: Clint and Natasha's history began in the 60s, at the comics Tales of Suspense, where both were villains. Attracted to the Russian spy, the archer was tricked by her to attack Iron Man. Soon, Clint decided he didn't want to be a criminal and left Natasha. He ended up saving Edwin Jarvis, Tony Stark's butler, and joined the Avengers. After that, a brainwashed Black Widow was then sent to attack the Avengers, and they had to fight against each other.
In my Chris Crush series, I adapted their story to fit the movies timeline, and used more recent comics/cartoons with Natasha and Clint's background. I hope you enjoyed my view of their friendship.
A special thank you to my friend Lovedrr and his always inspiring words.
Many thanks to all readers. I appreciate every single review, PM, favorite & follow. I try to thank you all, through PMs, when it's available. Feel free to comment in English, Portuguese or Spanish! Don't be shy! There's nothing better for a writer than the reader's words!
Have a nice weekend! :)
xxoo Mari
P.S. My mom is doing great, I can't thank you enough for all your sweet messages! S2
