The chapter's two days late because I had to finish my assignments first. But, for the lateness, I wrote a long chapter for you!

Chapter Fifty-Seven

At the back of his mind, Haymitch registered the announcement over the speaker system broadcasting the departure of the train Effie was in.

Effie had boarded the train without a ticket. Somewhere along the journey, someone will discover that fact and demand that she alight. Effie could be robbed in the train or she could decide to just get off at some random station because in her state, Haymitch wasn't sure if she knew what she was doing. How was he supposed to find her then?

A thousand thoughts ran through his mind, each more horrible than the last.

Haymitch pulled on the door handle frantically, trying to force the door open which only managed to catch the attention of the station master. He will drag Effie out kicking and screaming if it came down to that even if that would only aggravate her further but he would be able to help her at least. He would rather she be by his side in her situation; to monitor her until she surfaced out of whatever hell she was currently in.

"Open the door!" he gestured at the station master.

"Step away from that train, sir. The door cannot be opened now when the train is departing."

"You open this door right now!" he demanded. "My wife's inside, you understand? If you don't get her out she'll – "

"Step away, sir, or I'll get the police."

The threat fell short because there was no need for the police. The train was slowly moving, pulling out of the station. Haymitch stared at Effie. He held her gaze long enough to came to a heavy realisation that he wasn't looking at his wife. He saw instead the countless blank and terrified faces of prisoners he had seen rescued and pulled out from the Capitol's prison.

Haymitch's grip on the handle tightened as his heart began to pound. The door would not budge. Haymitch jogged alongside the slow moving train because there was nothing else he could do. He tried to keep up as best as he could, knocking on the glass window to get Effie's attention.

"Sweetheart," he mouthed. Effie took an alarmed step back. "You don't get off until this train reaches Twelve, you hear? Alight at Twelve and nowhere else. I'll meet you -

He was running out of space to run along the station as the train continued to move out. The desperation was mounting by the minute.

"Don't do anything stupid," the words spilled out of his mouth, the same advice he would always tell her whenever they had to part ways. "I'll see you again."

Haymitch released his hold on the handle as the train picked up speed. His last image of her was of Effie staring at him as if he was a stranger.

"I've seen things like this before," the station master shook his head sympathetically. "Marital dispute is common nowadays. For your sake, I hope she comes back."

Haymitch scowled.

An argument with Effie would be like drinking a glass of whiskey, he thought, it was something he was used to, something normal and familiar and as twisted as it sounded, it was something he was comfortable dealing with as compared to this.

XxX

His steps back to the hospital were heavy with dread, a terrible chain weighing around his ankle. Ethan and Tristan couldn't really speak and couldn't ask for her but they would look for her. He would have to take them home without her.

"You're alone," Felix rose out of his chair when Haymitch entered Johanna's room. "Where's Effie?"

"Gone," he said without any explanation. He wasn't in the mood for questioning. Haymitch lifted Ethan up from his stroller and held him close. He was still in the presence of Johanna, Gale and Felix and he so he refrained from burying his face in Ethan's hair. But holding his son close was a reminder that his children was still here and they needed him and that he needed to think about them, too. "I have to go."

"Wait a second, what do you mean she's gone?" Johanna scowled. The dressing on her wound had been changed but the cuffs remained around her ankle. She swore under her breath and rattled her leg in irritation. "Can you do something?" her question was directed at Gale. "I already said I will give the interview they wanted so much. There's no need for this!"

"You're going to talk to them?" Haymitch asked surprised. She shrugged. "You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" she frowned. "Someone's coming in tomorrow to ask me some questions. They say they'll keep it short as if I'd believe that. But I don't fancy being back in a jail cell so I'll have those questions any day. We can't all win."

"Speaking of jail, you want to tell me what happened to Effie in prison?"

Johanna's eyes widened. The scowl disappeared from her face and for a flicker of a second, the confident, brash young woman was gone. It didn't last long because she was soon frowning. "Told you before that it's not my place."

Felix shifted in his seat. "Maybe… Maybe you should tell him… After what just happened, you know?"

"Not my story. I have no rights," Johanna gritted her teeth.

"Fine," Haymitch waved his hand. He didn't have time to stand here and argue. Johanna was hot headed and stubborn. If she won't say, then it would be difficult to change her mind which was what made Johanna trustworthy, the same quality that made Haymitch trust her to get Beetee and Wiress for Katniss and that she would protect Katniss and Peeta during the Quell. "I'll find another way."

"If she had never told you, it's probably 'cause she doesn't want you to know and isn't it better if it stays that way?"

"After she just ran out on us," he gestured to himself and the two boys, "like that? After she jumped on a train and looked at me as if she didn't know who I was? No, Jo, I think it's time I find out the truth. That's the only way I can help her."

Johanna nodded after a while.

"What happened in here earlier – "

"It wasn't your fault," Haymitch shook his head, swallowing the bitter taste on his tongue. He would have wanted to pin the blame on Johanna, to have someone to channel his frustration and anger but it wasn't Johanna's fault. They all have demons and even after all these years, they were all still trying to cope from the arena and from the war.

"Do me a favour - call Annie in Four and Beetee in Three. Ask them to keep a lookout for Effie just in case. I'll call Plutarch and Peeta," Haymitch said. "I don't think she will go anywhere else."

"I'll go with you to Twelve," Felix made to follow him. "The twins would…"

"That's not necessary, Felix. Stay here. I can get Peeta and Katniss to help out."

XxX

Haymitch saw Peeta standing the platform as the train pulled into District Twelve. He raised his hand in a wave when he saw Haymitch and the boys.

"Is she here?" Haymitch asked before anything else.

"She's here, came in yesterday night. Someone from town saw her wandering around and recognised her so he brought her to the Village. She's here and there, Haymitch. When we led her to our guest bedroom she somehow recognised that it wasn't her room. She insisted on going home only to have a panic attack when she couldn't find you or the boys. Katniss gave her… the sleeping syrup. It should wear off by now."

Haymitch nodded. They hurried along and to Haymitch, the walk from the train station to his house felt longer than normal. From the distance, he could see the looming blue roof of his house and as he approached the Village, he saw that the house was dark and the curtain had been pulled shut. He let the boys out from their stroller and they meandered straight to their swing set.

"I'll watch over them," Peeta offered. "Prim's learning finger painting and I'm sure your sons will be occupied enough with that."

Peeta motioned for Prim to come over and she brought with her a small canvas that she had been working on.

"We're going to paint outdoors today!" Peeta said cheerfully, a contrast against Haymitch's growing worry. "You want to show Tristan and Ethan what I taught you?"

The four of them settled on Haymitch's front lawn and when the boys were sufficiently distracted by the current activity, Haymitch ducked inside the house followed closely by Katniss.

"She may still be asleep. Don't startle her."

"I need to see her."

"How's Johanna?" asked Katniss, her voice a little louder than normal.

"Is now really the time?" Haymitch snapped. They heard quiet movements upstairs and it was enough for Haymitch to understand what Katniss was doing. Their voices had alerted Effie to their presence so it wouldn't be such a big shock if Haymitch were to suddenly appear. "She was awake when I left. She was under pressure from the law and it's driven her to the edge but… you know her, Katniss. She'll fight back."

"Good. And Effie? How bad is it?"

"You had to give her the sleeping syrup – what do you think?" Haymitch ran his fingers through his hair. "This one looks really bad. I have to see her."

"Wait," Katniss grabbed his arm. "You need to ask her what went on back then."

"You think I've never tried that before?"

"Then think of something else because with Peeta, we knew he was hijacked and we worked from there."

He gave a curt nod.

"Katniss?" he called out before she walked out the door. "Thanks."

XxX

Haymitch turned the door knob quietly, pushing the door open slowly so as not to frighten her. He found her lying on her back on their bed, her pale blue dress was wrinkled from having been slept in and her blonde hair spread over the mattress like a halo. She was mumbling under her breath.

"Tristan, Ethan, Haymitch," she repeated over and over again.

"Sweetheart," he reached out, touching her ankle.

The contact sent her scrambling as far away from him. She pressed her back against the headboard and stared.

"You made it back to Twelve," he gave her a tentative smile.

Effie nodded slowly.

"Haymitch," she raised her hand, reaching out for him and he brushed his fingers against hers. That was all it took for her to launch herself at him and if he had not had his feet planted firmly on the ground, Haymitch would have toppled over. Effie buried her face on his chest as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I was alone. I was so alone."

"We came back for you. Just like I said we would," he stroked her hair, carefully maneuvering himself so he was seated at the edge of the bed. She laid her head on his lap and held on tight to his hand.

Effie ran her hand up his arm, to his neck and cheek, touching him to make sure he was there with her. Haymitch let her. It seemed to keep her grounded.

"My babies…?"

"They're outside, enjoying the sun. Peeta's teaching them how to finger paint. You want to see?"

Haymitch coaxed her out of bed. This wasn't new to him. How many times had he needed to talk and persuade Peeta out of his own mind when the boy had gone into the deep end? Too many.

With a hand resting on the small of her back, Haymitch led her out to the window by the hallway across from their bedroom. He drew the curtains back. Effie took a step closer and peered down at her children.

"Look, Ethan's got paint on his shirt already," Haymitch pointed out.

He waited for Effie to start fretting, to berate him for letting Ethan ruined the new shirt but she was quiet. Haymitch sighed.

"Hey, boys," he called out, pushing the window open to get their attention.

At the sound of his father's voice, Tristan lifted his head to search for Haymitch. When he finally turned around to face the right window and looked up, Haymitch wished he hadn't called out. Tristan's hands were both covered in bright red paint. There was a streak of purple across his face. Next to him, Effie went rigid all of a sudden and then she started screaming. He made a grab for her as she bolted down the stairs and ran outside.

XxX

Haymitch thundered down the steps and hurried after her. Effie was pulling on to Tristan's hand, trying to get him out of Peeta's grip. The boy was terrified and crying.

"Effie, calm down," Peeta tried.

"What have you done to him!" she screamed, clawing at Peeta.

"Nothing. We were just – "

"Stop it, Effie!" Haymitch grabbed her around the waist and hauled her away.

His actions weren't gentle because he was so afraid that she would dislodge the boy's shoulder the way she was pulling on to Tristan's arm. It worked to snap her attention back. Effie released her hold and stared at the each of them in turn. The sight of Tristan crying and the red finger marks around his arm sent her running into the bedroom, slamming the door loudly.

"What was that?" Katniss broke the silence. Haymitch had not noticed her before because when Effie had ran out to the lawn, Katniss had crouched in front of Prim and Ethan, and held on to them as they hid their face on her shoulders.

"It's the paint," he said. "She thinks it's blood. Effie lost it when she saw Johanna bleeding in the hospital."

"I'll wash it off him," Peeta winced. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Dada," Ethan called, his lips was wobbling. He took a step towards Haymitch, arms stretched out asking to be carried. "Dada."

Haymitch gave a bark of laughter, bitter and raw. He lifted him up, wrapping his arms tight around his boys.

"You heard that, Katniss?" he asked as he buried his face on Ethan's neck.

"Did he just…" Katniss trailed off. "First time he ever called you?"

Haymitch nodded. He was so proud and he wished he could revel in that feeling but there were too many things happening all at once. Haymitch wanted to gloat, wanted to laugh at Effie because Ethan's first word wasn't to call out to her. But he couldn't because Effie wasn't there to witness it; she wasn't there to hear her son called out for his father. Effie who had been the most excited and who had speculated about their first word had missed it all. It was something she would never get back.

But maybe, if the situation had been different, Ethan wouldn't have called out for him. Maybe he would have called out for his mother.

Yes, Haymitch thought, that's what I'll tell Effie if she's upset about this.

XxX

Prim was scared and she kept tugging on her mother's shirt tail, pointing over to their house. Haymitch promised that he would call if he needed their help. When they left, he carried both boys up to their nursery. It was time for their afternoon nap - he knew because it was on the chalkboard in the kitchen Effie had bought months ago detailing the time they should have their naps and their bottle for Haymitch's benefit – so he settled them each in their respective cribs.

Haymitch dug Ethan's tiger plushie out of the bag he had not yet unpack and gave it to the boy. For Tristan, Haymitch gave him his pacifier. He stood over them and waited.

"Well, go to sleep," he frowned after ten minutes. "What are you waiting for?"

Ethan had sat up and was making noises that kept his brother awake. Haymitch had often put Tristan to sleep by letting the boy rest on his chest and he did the same this time, picking him up and settling down on the rocking chair Effie always occupied.

"It's the singing, isn't it?" he asked quietly. "I told Effie time and time again not to sing. This is exactly why."

They were not sleeping and Haymitch was growing increasingly worried. He needed to check on Effie but leaving the twins alone wasn't an option. In the end, he carried them both with him and settled down on the floor in front of the locked bedroom door.

"Effs?" he knocked lightly. "Are you alright?"

There was no answer.

"Listen, sweetheart, the boys are fine but they need you. I don't know what to do. They won't go to sleep. Must be your singing," he grumbled, "I think that's what they need. Will you come out?"

Only silence greeted him.

"Your mum's inside," he said. "She can't sing for you."

Tristan climbed into his lap and curled on it while Ethan was pressed against Haymitch's side, the orange tiger clutched in his hands. Tristan blinked at him sleepily.

"Tiger," he turned towards Ethan. "What you did today… Can you do the same for your mum? Can you call her the way you called me? You don't have to say much, just… say 'ma'. Say it, come on. It's just like Da," he said. "Can you do that for me? You want mummy right? Please, just…" he swallowed, "please, Ethan, just say 'ma'."

Ethan gave a toothy smile and rubbed his eyes. He snuggled against his father but said nothing.

Haymitch let out a breath and leaned his head against the door.

XxX

The boys eventually fell asleep out of exhaustion on the floor with Haymitch's arms around them. Haymitch talked to her occasionally through the door but nothing he said will draw her out.

When night came, Haymitch carried the two sleeping boys and settled them down on their cribs. He lay on the sofa in their room, staring at the ceiling. When Tristan began to stir, Haymitch brought the child over to the sofa where Tristan continued sleeping on his chest. It was comforting having the weight of his son on him, to be able to hold him and feel him breathing, alive and well.

"Your mum's going to be okay, I promise," he whispered. It took him a moment before he remembered something important even if it was a day late. "Happy birthday, peanut," he dropped a kiss to the top of his head.

Effie had wanted to celebrate their birthday. There had been cake and new clothes for the twins all of which was now forgotten and missed.

XxX

Peeta and Katniss came over to help in the morning. The boys' diapers needed to be changed, their bottle had to be ready and their food had to be prepared. Haymitch wasn't sure if the food came before the milk so he made both and put it in front of the boys and waited to see if they reached out for the bottle or the bowl of food. How Effie managed it all was a mystery to him but he felt her absence so acutely.

His thoughts kept circling back to her, alone and lost. His apparent distraction was something which Peeta noticed. He pulled Haymitch aside and kept his voice low.

"She usually snaps out of it pretty fast," Peeta pointed out. Haymitch resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the obvious deduction. "Don't take this the wrong way, Haymitch, but … Maybe… maybe you're not equipped to deal with her this time round. You need to get help. We can call Katniss' doctor in the city and – "

"I can get through her," Haymitch shook his head, counting the days since she fled from him. "I just need some time."

"She needs to eat," said Peeta. "And you need to eat, too. There's bread and soup in the kitchen so try to get her to open the door for food if you can. We'll take Ethan and Tristan to the bakery. They should be okay being away from you for a few hours."

"Yeah," Haymitch nodded. "Didn't kick up a fuss when Felix brought them out for a walk…. Just… Give me a minute."

Haymitch went to her door and knocked on it. "Sweetheart, Katniss and Peeta are taking the boys out. You wanna say goodbye to them before they leave? Give them a kiss or something…."

He waited. There was nothing forthcoming.

"She isn't coming out."

It was probably a good thing that the twins were not at home because half an hour after they left, Effie started screaming. It was brief and didn't last very long but it startled him all the same. Haymitch paced outside the room. He could hear her cry; quiet sniffles that made him feel helpless. He rattled the door knob. He could break the door down but that could make everything worst.

His fingers curled into a tight fist. Haymitch was frustrated and angry but he didn't know who he should be angry with. Just like back at the hospital, he wanted to blame it on someone, to redirect his anger somewhere. Should he be angry with Effie for putting him through this? For keeping things to herself and suffer in silence? Should he be angry because he was there when she had missed out on such important milestones in the twin's life? Effie should have been there taking photos of them to be put up on the blue string in their nursery. She should have been with them, pretending to be offended that Ethan's first word did not involve her but secretly delighted that her son had achieved something. She should have been there, setting Tristan down so she could teach him how to say 'mummy'.

Or maybe, he should he be angry with Snow. The man was long gone but his clutches could still be felt even now. War left marks on people and Effie had always been good at covering marks.

"Plutarch, I want her file. I don't care how you're going to access it. I want her file and I need it urgently. Every single detail and every single information from her arrest to her rescue and to her recovery in Thirteen."

I would be so delighted if you leave a review and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading :)