The airport was full of various people, traveling to many places. Everyone was minding their own until an angry voice filled the waiting area.(A/N Don't know what it's called.)
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN BUMPED FROM FIRST CLASS TO COACH?!" shouted a middle-aged man in a blue suit. "I'M IVAN BLOWSKI. KING OF ACCOUNTING, SULTAN OF FINANCE, CROWN PRINCE OF LONG COLUMNS WITH LITTLE, TINY NUMBERS!" he screeched at the female behind the counter.
"We're sorry Mr. Blowski." she said in a fearful voice. "It was a computer error. We'll refund you the difference."
"I'M GOING TO BUY THIS AIRLINE JUST SO I CAN FIRE YOU, YOU...PAIR OF EYES YOU." screamed Blowski. He then stomped toward the airplane, shoving and tossing everyone out of his way as he entered the plane. He came up to a blonde stewardess and flashed his ticket. "Stewardess, I'm Ivan Blowski, and I demand privacy." he stated to the stewardess. "Have everyone in coach thrown off this plane."
"Oh but sir, we can't do that." she answered in a calm and lovely voice.
"Then escort me to my seat at once." he demanded. As she lead him to his seat, he began shoving people out of his way again, even pushing one straight out of the door. When they arrived, he stated, "I'll need a pillow, a blanket, and 15 bags of honey roasted peanuts. PRONTO!" he shouted with enough force to blow her hair around a bit. He then sat down with a smile and heavily sighed. "Now for a nice relaxing trip." he said as he closed his eyes. Not a few seconds later, his eyes shot open to various noises coming from the seats next to him. He slowly grew angry at the four individuals annoying him. One going "boingy boingy" while hanging from an oxygen mask, another with her arms stretched out acting like she's flying, the third acting like a fighter pilot, and the fourth messing with every button he can find on his seat and above his head. They stopped and looked at the angry man.
"Hey mister," Yakko said. "This is our first trip on a plane. We're gonna be your seatmates for the next 17 hours." he finished with a happy expression. The man's face dead-panned at the news.
"Want some of my mayonnaise muffin?" asked Dot as she held the strange confection up to his face.
"IIICK. No!" he said in disgust. "Go away, you horrible child." He turned his head away, coming nose-to-nose with Wakko."
"How's about a kiss?" Wakko asked, kissing the man, earning a "Yeack." from the man. Ricky juse chuckled at the man's misfortune. Shortly after, the screen ahead of them came to life with a woman on it.
"Welcome to AirPacific, The Jolly Airline." the woman said in a calm voice. "Our Deluxe 757 is equipped with a number of safety features to use in case of an emergency, such as our fuel tanks explode, and we crash like a fiery ball into the sea." she continued. This excited the Warners very much.
"Neato." Yakko said
"Cool." Dot chimed in.
"Faboo." said Wakko.
"Awesome." said Ricky, while in actuality, his mind was going 'Wait, what now?'
"Please note the air discomfort bags located in your seat front." the screen woman continued, showing a white paper bag to the audiance. Wakko retrieved his bag and looked at it confusingly before looking at Blowski.
"Hey mister," Wakko said as he poked Blowski to get his attention. "What's this?"
"A vomit bag." he replied in a low voice. Wakko looked inside for a second.
"Ah poo." he said in annoyance. "I got jipped. There's none in here." he continued, making Blowski's face dead-pan again.
"You'll find life jackets under your seats." the woman continued. "In the event of a water landing, they will keep you afloat," she continued while the Warners, and Ricky, put on the yellow life jackets. "Unless you're seized by a giant squid, and dragged screaming beneath the waves."
'Oh joy.' Ricky thought without changing his expression.
"This really isn't my color." Dot said as she examined her life jacket. "I'm a Winter. ~giggles~ Okay everyone. Life jacket test." When she finished, Wakko pulled out some air pumps and each of us took one. Ricky looked at Wakko for a split second, as if to ask 'Where'd those come from?' He snapped out of it as he took a pump and began to inflate his life jacket along with the others. The life jackets quickly got bigger until they exploded, blasting Blowski out of his chair, before he fell with a thud.
"Shh. SHHHHHH." went Blowski with his finger to his lips. "Do you know what that means?" he asked.
"You have a slow leak?" Yakko quipped immediately.
"Should cabin pressure suddenly drop, say from a cargo hatch blowing out into thin air, oxygen masks will drop down." the woman continued.
'What kind of airline is this?' Ricky thought as he slowly started to regret the decision to fly, yet still keeping face. While he was thinking, Wakko shot a tiny orb at the ceiling, releasing the oxygen masks. The Warners tried theirs on for kicks. Ricky took it cuz he really needed some air at this point. Blowski just looked on in surprise. Yakko reached for Blowski's mask, but was stopped by the man.
"Don't play with my mask." he said in a low tone.
"Oh, you got dibs? No problem. It's all yours." Yakko said as he grabbed his mask, hitting the 'Press Here To Reverse Oxygen' button, sucking Blowski's face into it. Blowski struggled for a bit, eventually getting his face out, which shrunk to the shape of the mask before he shook it back into shape.
"And please," the woman continued further. "Make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened." With that said, the four toons jumped Blowski forming a white dust cloud. When it cleared, Blowski was wrapped up in seat belts.
"There." Yakko stated. "Already for takeoff."
Blowski angrily ripped out of his confines, shouting "LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"You should cool off." Ricky said as he reached above Blowski's head to his A.C. dial. "Here. This ought to help." As the green nosed toon flicked the dial, an arctic wind shot out of it, almost instantly freezing Blowski solid. "Feeling better?" Ricky asked. Blowski just growled as the ice melted, revealing an angry, red faced man.
"Thank you for choosing AirPacific." the woman continued. "You have well over a 40% chance of landing safely. Enjoy your flight." she concluded as she jump out of the plane with a parachute on.
Ricky's eye twitched slightly as he mentally screamed 'THAT'S IT! Next time, I'm taking a bus.' Wakko noticed and nudged his shoulder, causing Ricky to flinch in surprise.
"No worries." Wakko said to calm to new Warner down. "We're toons. It'll take more than that to take us down." Ricky let his words sink in as he calmed down.
"Oh yeah." Ricky chuckled. "I forgot." The plane then took off like a jet as the four Warners made faces as if the plane was going at Mach 5.
"AND STOP MAKING THOSE STUPID FACES." Blowski angrily bellowed.
"What kind of faces are we supposed to make? Yakko said looking confused.
"Quiet faces." Blowski answered, squinting his eyes at them. "Just sit there like mute little children." Yakko and Wakko then changed into red nosed, Eygptian looking statues. Blowski then looked at Wakko, who was making a googie at him. Ricky just looked and observed.
"Hey mister, what's this?" Wakko asked pulling a tray out in front of him.
"That's for eating." he answered, clearly annoyed at them all. Wakko then slathered the tray in mustard, place it between to slices of bread and bit down onto it.
"Deeelicious." he said with a burp.
"Ick." grumbled Blowski. A ringing could be heard from his suitcase. He opened it to answer his cellphone.
"Blowski here."
"I've got the most dreamy news." Dot said into the old fashioned phone on the other end. "Rod just asked Patty to go steady." She then laughed loudly into the phone as, making Blowski slam his phone back into his suitcase.
"THIS. IS. ABSURD!" he said in frustration. "You little goons have been bothering me ever since I sat down. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" he screamed.
"No. Do you know who I am?" Yakko quipped.
"No."
"Then we're even." Yakko stated.
"All we know is that we like you." Dot said. "We have no taste, but we like you."
"And therefore, on behalf of the Warner brothers." Yakko said standing in his seat.
"AND the Warner sister." Dot added.
"And our latest addition Ricky." Wakko said pointing at Ricky, who waved with a "Yo."
"I want to make you our special." Yakko said. The four Warners then kissed Blowski's face, while one of them put a heart shaped sign around his neck, labled 'Special Friend.' That was the last straw as Blowski had had enough.
"STEWARDESS!" he shouted with his finger in the air. "GET OVER HERE, NOW!" he finished, pointing at the floor near him. She walked over toward the group, with a simple "May I help you?" Yakko, Wakko, and Ricky (for reasons he couldn't explain) greeted her with a "HELLOOOOO NURSE!" with Yakko's ears forming a heart, Wakko's hat spinning on his head, and Ricky's heart beating out of his shirt. They jumped into her arms, which she caught them with ease.
"Wanna be our bunky?" Yakko said in a flirty tone.
"Men," Dot said in an annoyed tone. "Go fig."
"THESE children are annoying me." Blowski stated, angrily pointing at them. "Throw them into your aircraft's jail."
"Only if she goes too." Yakko said as he clung onto the stewardess even more.
"Oh sir," she said calmly. "There's no jail on this aircraft."
"Then BUILD one." Blowski shouted. "Or move me away from these monsters immediately." The Warners face dropped to small frowns.
"You mean, you don't wanna be our special friend?" Yakko said sadly.
"NO!" he shouted with gale-like force. The three Warner boys slowly made their way back to their seats.
"Now you've gone and hurt our feelings." Yakko said. They four toons then began to sob loudly, which turned to them all howling at the sky.
"I DEMAND ANOTHER SEAT!" Blowski shouted at the stewardess.
"Oh but sir, there aren't any." she claimed. "We're full."
"Then I'll make one." he said before turning and pointing at the four children. "And as for you four, I wish I did your taxes. I'd screw them up so bad, the IRS would bury you." he said as the four huddled closer together. "I'd rather be eaten by CANNIBALS then be your 'Special friend.' Now goodbye, you worthless little morons." He then began to walk off angrily before looking back at the children, who now looked close to tears as their lower lips trembled. He then looked down for a bit before looking back at them as they opened their mouths...and began to make wild faces and noises at him. Yakko pulled his ears and puffed his cheeks. Wakko spin in a circle while his tongue hang out. Dot pulled her lips apart with her tongue sticking out at him. Ricky pulled his eyelids up and bared his lower teeth at him. Blowski, his anger rekindled, just huffed in place, then stormed off towards first class as the Warners looked at each other, who began to laugh hysterically as they fell back into their seats with their feet in the air.
Blowski walked into first class and looked around. A live band playing various string music was at the front as entertainment. He came up to a stranger with a smile. "You're wanted outside." he said.
"Oh thanks." the short man said before hopping out of his seat and shuffling away. Blowski then took his seat and sighed.
"Ahhh. Relaxation at last." he said. He then sniffed the air as his face twisted in disgust before looking at what appeared to be a farmer hick(Yakko) of sorts.
"How's it going, buckaroo?" he asked holding his hand out towards Blowski. "I'm Grover Broke from (Couldn't understand) Tennessee. Fertilizer salesman."
"Blowski. Accounting." he answered as he shook his hand.
"What a koinkeydink. You know folks say there's no accounting fer me. ~Hick laughter~ You get it? ~Louder Hick laughter~ Hoo boy that's a kicker ain't it?" Yakko said, slapping Blowski on the back. "Anyways, the ways I sees it, a man needs a philosiphy in life."
"Look, I just want to rest." Blowski said exhaustingly.
"Here's my philosiphy." Yakko said as he hocked a loogie towards an imaginary spittune. "There's two kinds of fertilizer in this life friend." he said as he pulled out a bag of crap. "You gotcher solid cow dung," he said as he pulled out another bag with a squish. "and then there's your sloppy pig doo." He held the bags up to Blowski, who's eyes were spinning as he held his nose. "Now, with your cow dung-" was all he said as Blowski ran to the other side of the plane.
"Pardon me Father, but could we change seats?" he asked a priest(Wakko).
"Certainly my son." Wakko said as he walked off. Blowski then sat down with a 'FWARRRRRT', making him blush red as he looked to his left at the passenger next to him and smiled. He then reached into his seat to pull out a whoopie cushion, which he threw away in anger as a walking up towards him.
"Coffee? Tea? Monster?" she said as she stop at Blowski.
"Monster?" he asked.
"Coming right up." she said as she pulled a small white box open, revealing a green, furry, and shrieking creature at Blowski, who just looked up in shock in fear at the monster before it dissapeared back into the box.
"Maybe some decaf later." Blowski said through chattering teeth, shaking in terror.
"You don't look well sir. IS THERE A DOCTOR ON THIS PLANE? she shrieked.
"I'm a Paramedic." Yakko said as he and Ricky, who were both dressed in doctor outfits, parachuted out of a luggage compartment towards the shaking man. "And this is my assistant." he said pointing towards Ricky, who waved again with a "Yo." Yakko took a stethescope to Blowski's head, saying "This man needs nitrogen."
"You mean oxygen?" Dot chimed in.
"Alright. How bout just some hot air?" Yakko said as he pulled an oxygen tank with a hose outta nowhere. Ricky then shoved the hose into Blowski's mouth, causing Blowski to bloat and float like a balloon.
"GET ME DOWN RIGHT NOW." Blowski shouted in a high squeaky voice. Yakko and Ricky looked at no one in particular, shrugged, and both yanked the hose out of Blowski's mouth, causing him to fly around first class haphazardly. "It's a looong fly." Yakko stated, he and Ricky looking like sports announcer in yellow jackets and headsets, as Blowski headed for the curtain. "It's going." he said as Blowski crashed into the curtain with a thud as he fell onto his back as the curtain opened up, revealing a brick wall that Wakko had laid out as he looked down at Blowski.
"Awww, too bad." Yakko's co-announcer Ricky said. "It hit the wall."
Dot came up and dusted Blowski off as he lay on the floor. "How do you feel now?"
"I'm in bad shape." Blowski said weakly as stars swirled his head as he sat up and held his head with his hand.
"Wrong!" Dot stated. "This is bad shape." they both then disappeared in a swirl of blue, which ended with Blowski tied up like an amatuer yoga man. Yakko then came up in a suit, glasses, and pipe.
"Hmm," Yakko started with an accent. "A fine example of neoclassical post-modern expressionism depicting Man Vs. Fate. Two out of three falls. Ten round limit." Blowski then unknotted himself and began walking towards Yakko, Ricky, and Dot. He suddenly stopped at the sound of a tapping on the window and looked out, only to see Wakko on the wing, holding a sign saying 'Be our special friend.' Blowski then gasped and sat back into his seat next to hick Yakko.
"Now," Yakko started, "your goose fertilizer is a whole other story. WOOOO doggy, does that stuff stanks to HIIIIGH heaven. Care to take a whiff?" he asked holding another bag to Blowski, who's face twisted into an even more horrid expression of disgust. Blowski then shrieked as he jumped out of his seat, ran a few aisles ahead, and dove into a window seat further ahead. He then looked out the window to see all the Warners and Ricky holding a sign that said 'Please be our special friend!'
"I'M REPORTING YOU LUNATICS TO THE HIGHEST AUTHORITIES!" Blowski shouted before he ran towards the cockpit. He rushed into the cockpit with a "Help! I'm being harrassed by children that look like big bugs with clothes. I demand you do something immediately."
Three of the occupants looked a Blowski and asked "What do you have in mind?" Blowski looked terrified at the three who looked right at him, while the fourth flew the plane suddenly looked where the others were looking, only to break the steering controls. They all looked him as he stated "Oops." As the plane began to dive, Blowski and the others began to float a little. Blowski screamed in terror as Ricky tried to re-attach the steering control, failing misserable. Ricky then threw the broken device away, put his hand to his chin in thought, then snapped his fingers as an idea popped into his head.
"I need to borrow this." Ricky said as he grabbed Wakko's head, pulled it from his body, stretched his neck and ears out, then attached it to the control frame. He then pulled Wakko's head down, causing the plane to rise again. Ricky looked back at them with a smile. "Problem solved." he said as he noticed someone was missing. "Hey, where'd the grumpy guy go?"
Blowski had run to the emergency exit, broke the 'FOR FLEEING VILLIANS ONLY' glass, grabbed the parachute inside, and jumped out of the plane. He deployed his chute and floated down to an island below. He then looked up and watched as the plane got farther away. He then sighed, grabbed his suitcase, and walked toward a fallen tree to sit down and pull out his phone. "Better call the home office and tell them I'm stranded on a jungle island." he said. "I hope they don't count this as a sick day." As he dialed his phone, four strange masks appeared behind him. They began chanting in a bizzare language, causing Blowski to jump into the ocean and swim away as fast as possible. The natives then jumped onto the log and threw down their masks, revealing the Warners and Ricky.
"Friends don't let friends disappear over the horizon alone." Yakko said as they ran toward a boat that popped up out of nowhere. "Wait." Yakko shouted.
"Stick around." Dot shouted.
"We're gonna make sloppy joes and rent Don Knotts videos." As Yakko rowed after their special friend, Dot looked back and noticed something.
"Turn around Yakko." she screamed. "Ricky missed the boat." The other two looked back at the island to see Ricky just standing there with his ankles in the water. As they got closer to the island, Dot noticed Ricky's face was emotionless. "Why does he look that way?" Dot asked. Ricky then moved just as she finished. He then fell forward and just lay there face first in the water as he began to sink beneath the waves.
"RICKY!" screamed the trio as Ricky sank further into the ocean.
(End of chapter)