Castiel was on Earth...and for once not under orders.
Dean came around the bend of Bobby's house and spotted him.
"What do you want?" he asked cold as ice. He was still pissed about Uriel.
"We need to talk."
"So talk," said Dean, leaning against a random car, coffee in hand.
"You're a natural witch. You see reapers. And you're in contact with a powerful angel, though I have no idea which one he is," stated Castiel. With each sentence, he could see Dean's eyebrow raised. Clearly he was impressed with the fact Castiel had done his homework for once. "And you had a falling out with your birth father, though I could not catch the reason why."
"We found out he had a third son...one who wasn't magical like us. And that he loved Adam more than he ever had Sam or me," said Dean quietly.
"You are also extraordinarily obsessed with a movie involving a blue alien and a small girl with tan skin."
"Well at least you bothered to look. More than I can say about whoever's been givin' you orders."
"Zachariah was furious when he found out what I had been researching. Your animal spirit affected even heaven's air waves and it took a full week before it was back to normal."
"Loki said it was pretty powerful," said Dean.
"I know Loki is an angel. His grace slipped through just enough for me to feel it, but I do not know which one he is."
"What do you want Castiel?"
"I'm tired of being told only half-truths. Every time I've been given orders, they always told me to give them to the Winchester brothers. Never the Harvelles. I'm seriously considering ignoring them if the information does not catch up soon," said Castiel honestly.
"Or you could just ditch them entirely and join us. Loki's not the only angel who's sick of heaven. And I'm pretty sure he could cover for you when they get pissed you decided to quit working on half-information."
"Zachariah would send Uriel to kill me. It would take another angel of higher rank to override the order, and they would have to be well known enough to get even Micheal to back off."
"How about two?" asked Dean.
Castiel stared.
"Both the angels that side with us are known by practically everyone and they outrank a seraph," said Dean.
Dean sighed at the the conflicted look on Castiel's face.
"Look Cas, you're one of the only tolerable angels we've met. If you want to join us, we would be open to the idea. The mere fact you bothered to actually call us Harvelle and not Winchester like that dick Uriel means we'd be willin' to give you a shot. And to be honest...heaven's not exactly filling up to what it's supposed to be," said Dean.
Castiel sighed...then said "Cas?"
"Castiel is too long," explained Dean flippantly.
"Can I give you my answer later?" asked Castiel hopefully. If Dean did know a powerful angel able to tell Zachariah where he could shove that damn sword of his, then Castiel would be willing to try. He was a good soldier, but the fact Zachariah had all but jumped on him for trying to get correct information that could save him later had him doubting heaven's orders.
Gabriel took one look at this Anna chick that had been making waves recently and knew what was really going on.
"Lo'?" said Sam questioningly.
"She's an angel. From the feel of it she ripped out her own Grace. Pretty stupid. About when were you conceived?" he asked the girl.
Anna blinked.
"Um... I'm about twenty."
"So roughly twenty years ago into the past, give or take. I'll meet you back at base with her grace," said Gabriel, vanishing with a snap.
"Who is that guy?"
"Loki. Pagan God," said Dean. He looked at Sam. "Bobby's?"
"Panic room. No need to drag Hel or Siri into this mess."
Hel and Sirius had settled into the Roadhouse and were running the place while Ellen hunted with Jo to make sure she stayed alive. Fenrir and the younger kids stayed with them in between trips to Bobby's house.
The hunters knew they were pagans, but considering how they acted they just treated them like regular kids. Considering they had Gabriel drop them off so they didn't have to worry about the car, they each took one of Anna's sides and apparated directly to their second home.
Anna threw up.
"What in god's name was that?"
"Side-along. Harder than angel flight, but it works," said Dean.
Uriel grinned coldly. Time to deal with that fool Annadriel. He waited until Castiel opened the door to find...no one there?
"Where are they Castiel?" demanded Uriel. The Grigori said that the Winchesters would be here! With that fool angel who left heaven!
Castiel rolled his eyes. More and more he was starting to wonder if he would be better off siding with the Harvelles. After hearing Uriel bitch and complain about not sensing the 'Winchesters' or the rogue angel, Castiel had enough and just slammed his hand on a quickly drawn angel banishing sigil to shut him up. As far as Uriel knew, they had been hiding and waiting to spring a trap.
He didn't even noticed the fact Castiel's hand was bloody.
Castiel barely paid any mind to Heaven's "orders" not to kill Ruby and the brothers. When he quickly had to duck from a heavy rock Uriel threw at him infused with enough grace to make it painful for weeks, he had enough.
So as a way to sign his 'resignation' as Zachariah's gopher, Castiel took three quick steps behind Uriel, kicked him so hard in the balls that the bastard saw stars and then he flew off to the one place he was sure to run into the Harvelles.
Robert Singer's house.
Dean spotted Castiel first. Anna immediately tensed, since she had been given back her memories by Gabriel. He let the angel in.
"You here to kill Anna?" asked Dean, holding his gun visible.
"I'm here to tell you I've had it with Zachariah and the bad intel. You had been be telling the truth about having higher angels on your side after what I just did to Uriel," said Castiel tonelessly.
If they didn't, he would have a hell of a time explaining why he had just attacked a 'superior' angel. Even if it did shut him up.
"Oh this I have to see. What could little Castiel the boring have done to that ass Uriel?" said Gabriel amused. Three seconds later he was on the floor laughing his ass off.
"What he do?" asked Sam.
"Enough that we have to keep him! I can't believe you were actually brave enough to do that!" cackled Gabriel.
Castiel however was giving Gabriel an odd look.
"Who are you? That almost felt like Micheal!"
Anna was the one who answered that, though she was clearly as surprised by his presence on Earth as Castiel would be.
"Gabriel."
Castiel gave said arch angel a very...strange...look. If Dean had to place it, he would say it was constipated.
"You're Gabriel?"
"You got a problem with that?" asked Gabriel arching an eyebrow.
"The rumors about your childishness were under-exaggerated," stated Castiel.
Gabriel mock gasped, holding his chest like he was mortally hurt by that comment.
"Wait...there are rumors about him in heaven?" said Sam.
Castiel nodded. Having spent so much time trying to find out the real facts about the brothers, he had gotten to know the Grigori better than most of his rank. They were so happy to have a fellow watcher that they filled up some of his time with them talking about the other angels and their hijinks...especially Gabriel.
And right now he was definitely living up to the stories.
"Oh yeah. Say, did they ever fix that one mirror I pranked when Micheal was showing me the way Grigori watch the humans?" asked Gabriel.
"No, and after you left they kept it far from Micheal so he couldn't find you. They consider it a trophy of sorts," deadpanned Castiel. Seeing Gabriel perk up at that news, he was quick to add the rest of the joke, "They say it's one of the best reminders that the great arch angel Gabriel could never watch where he was going especially once sugar was invented."
Sam and Dean burst out laughing at the look on Gabriel's face. They couldn't help it.
"So can I stay here? Zachariah is becoming even more irritating the more he finds out how outdated his information is. He chewed me out for going anywhere near the Grigori, let alone that accident with the airwaves," asked Castiel.
"For mocking this idiot, you're welcome to stay as long as you want!" said Dean laughing.
Dean sat up when he heard the Enochian. While he wasn't that attuned to angels, he did cast part of it. Like the use of his 'name' at least according to above and below.
"Okay, what the hell did they say?"
"The Winchesters hand over the angel, or we throw Dean back into perdition," said Anna.
Dean gave Gabriel a look.
"Can I use your Grace to transmit my reply to that?"
"Use Castiel's. It won't raise as many questions," was the arch angel's flippant reply.
Dean looked to Castiel, who sighed.
"Put your hand on my shoulder and I'll relay the message for you," said Castiel.
Dean grinned.
There were quite a few shocked and ruffled feathers when Dean immediately replied "Fuck off and get the name right assholes. The only living Winchester down here is Adam and there's no way you're throwing him into hell when he's still innocent."
That sparked another message, this one directed specifically at Castiel. Gabriel was very proud when Castiel sent them the angel equivalent of the bird and told them he was following the orders of a higher angel than Zachariah.
After that he quit listening to their demands.
If they wanted to find out who's garrison Castiel now belonged to, they would have to actually look at the Winchesters instead of just assuming things.
Dean was drinking his beer when he saw the look on Cas' face. He knew that look. Mort had the same one after a particularly memorable mishap with some demons.
"You're about to ask me about that night before I got the recipe for the best salt-less scrambled eggs aren't you?"
Cas nodded.
"You mean that recipe you picked up but refuse to explain where you go it? You never did tell me that story," said Sam.
"Those were awesome!" agreed Gabriel.
Dean had an evil idea worthy of a Marauder. It was about time he traumatized Sam with this story.
"Everyone get settled in and get something to drink. Then I'll explain how I got that recipe and why my luck has three levels."
"God Mode, I-hate-my-life mode and WTF," said Sam. Seeing the look on the faces of those who hadn't experienced all three at least once, Sam shrugged. "Dean has some really fucked up luck sometimes."
"Yeah, and the recipe story falls under the third one," said Dean.
Sam winced. The WTF category often lead to the most messed up and disturbing stories of all time.
Dean waited until those who didn't know what happened had taken a nice long drink before he started with "I got the recipe from a nice gay demon after a two day all-guy orgy in Illinois."
Queue the spit takes from Sam, Gabriel and Anna all at once. Castiel just looked amused.
"What the hell?" said Gabriel.
Sam took one look at Dean's face and knew. He had to have been saving this story for maximum trauma to his brother!
Dean was grinning evilly as he started it off.
"It was after Sam went to Stanford and before I got Bear. I had just finished a hunt and convinced Mort to supply the booze. Two shots in and I was so drunk I wandered into this one gay club that I later learned was run by a demon named Frank. Anyway I went in, got drunk off my ass, and somehow ended up in a six-way orgy with about five other guys who happened to be demons. Apparently one of the demon's boyfriend had recently broken up with him, and when I mentioned having dropped off Sammy they assumed I had the same problem. Woke up two days later with the worst fucking hangover and starving."
"How does this lead to that scrambled egg recipe? And how the hell do you end up so drunk that you couldn't tell it was a gay bar?" asked Gabriel. He was openly amused by the look on Sam's face. Dean pulled out a small jar. Gabriel took one whiff of the contents before nodding. Asgardian Mead could knock anyone on their ass, especially if A) they haven't had it before, and B) they were mortal. No wonder Dean hadn't noticed until after.
"I'm getting to that. Anyway we were all starving, so one of the demons whips up some breakfast for everyone. I was so hungry I didn't even notice the lack of salt, and the demons figured out I wasn't one of them when I took out a salt packet from my jacket since I noticed there wasn't any on the table. The guy had an annoyed look on his face and told me to try it before I ruined it with salt. I did and it was so good I had to get the recipe."
"And how did Mort react?"
"The first thing he asked me when he caught up to me at McDonald's since I left before I got any coffee was 'How did you end up in an all male demon orgy without getting killed?' I damn near scalded the guy in front of me, because I was so hung over I didn't even realize they were demons until he said something. Still got the recipe though. Should have seen their expressions when I texted the demon who made the eggs saying 'I still want that egg recipe'."
"Oh that I have to see!" said Gabriel laughing.
Dean had to ask Mort for the look on the demon's face. It still made him laugh.
"So you're gay?" said Anna.
"Dean's bi. He'd go out with either you or Castiel if he felt like it. As far as he's concerned, love and sexual gratification are difficult enough without having to worry about gender preferences," said Sam. "He picks up both guys or girls at bars, but it's usually women."
"Love is love, even if the other half isn't exactly human. So long as you don't go around dating any demons, I don't give a crap," said Dean helpfully.