"So do you forgive me?"
Max asked, lingering on each word, afraid of the answer.
She shifted slightly, the bed creaked softly under her. She couldn't look at him, looking at him would complicate things further, he'd sway her with those eyes, tempt her with that smile.
"If we're going to do this we're going to do it properly."
She spoke carefully, pushing her hands between her thighs and looking ahead of her, the moon streaked with grey-white clouds.
"I don't want to be messed about anymore, Max. Not after the miscarriage."
A creak sounded outside as somebody passed by the door to the bedroom.
"And we need to be more careful."
She added, dipping her voice to almost a whisper.
"Careful?"
He asked, shivering. The temperature seemed to be dropping slowly.
"I didn't think I could have children..."
She looked to him, eyes resting on the soft white towel that covered his thighs.
"I don't understand how it happened."
She said, more to herself than to him.
"Do you want children?"
He asked quietly, looking at her hands, held tight between her thighs, her skin glowing and pale in the moon lit room.
"I don't know..."
She sounded so hoarse as she spoke, sucking in a breath as though she were choking.
She looked at him, her eyes meeting his own for the first time since he'd entered the room.
"I tried...before...years ago."
He smiled so softly in the greying light, holding out his hand to her, his palm white and soft as she
placed her hand in his own. He squeezed it gently.
"well one day maybe we could try. "
He felt her tense slightly.
"And if it doesn't happen then it doesn't happen. And that's ok..."
The corner of her mouth twitched , resisting a smile.
"That's very serious talk...for you."
She whispered. He grinned.
"Well if we're going to do this properly..."
He quoted.
"Oh...I've got something for you."
He stood up abruptly, remembering the package in his jeans pocket.
She watched as he made his way to the bathroom, hearing the clink of his belt as he rustled about for a moment before reappearing, the light from the bathroom glowing a halo at his back.
He pushed his knees onto the bed, awkwardly adjusting himself so that he sat slightly behind her, in the middle of the mattress.
"Before I give it to you I have to warn you I'm not proposing..."
He said, holding a small box in the palm of his hand.
"How romantic..."
She smiled, raising her eyebrows at him and glancing down at the box he held so tightly.
"And I realise now that you probably won't even want it..."
He frowned, suddenly not sure whether to give it to her or not.
"Why wouldn't I want it?"
She asked, looking down at it again. She couldn't quite see what it was, just a little shadowy box in the middle of his palm, his fingers curled neatly over it's lid.
"Well. The thing is...Vicky, she's called Vicky."
He said quickly, so as to avoid calling too much attention to what he had said.
"Who's called Vicky?"
She asked, sometimes conversations with Max seemed to dawdle more than they did anything else.
He hesitated, his lips partially open, watching her face.
"The ex, my ex. The one I was with the other night."
He breathed, his whole body stiff, as though waiting for her to explode.
"Ah..."
She frowned again, unsure as to where this conversation had come from, and where it was going to take her.
"I told her about you. Everything...pretty much. She told me I was an idiot..."
Zoe nodded slowly.
"You don't need to agree..."
He relaxed slightly, a smile tentatively wandering across his lips.
"I was just being polite."
She answered, her eyes a picture of confusion.
"Uhm..anyway I told her all about you. And she makes jewellery..."
He held out the box to her. She hesitated for a moment too long before accepting it, not really wanting to open it.
"I do realise now how stupid it was of me to think that you'd wear it."
He said, his body seeming to deflate as she looked at the little box, felt the warm velvet of it. She opened it slowly, a tiny silver ring, knotted and plaited glinted in the light, the metal seeming to glow with a white light as it reflected the moon beyond the window.
"It's celtic...apparently. It means protection."
She tilted the box, watching the light dancing across the folds and curves of it.
"Sorry."
He apologised, mistaking her hesitation for dislike.
"Why are you sorry?"
She asked, glancing back at him. His cheeks were flushed for the second time that evening, she could feel the nervous tension bristling from him.
"It's just all a bit tacky. I didn't think it would be when I bought it..."
He watched as she took it out of the box and twisted herself around on the bed to pass it to him.
"I hope it wasn't expensive."
She smiled, dipping her head to catch his gaze. A fraction of a smile at his lips.
"You put it on me."
She said firmly, pressing the ring into his hand and splaying her fingers out in front of him.
"You don't have to..."
He smiled again, looking apologetically at her.
She wiggled her fingers in response, looking pointedly down to her hand.
"Which one?"
He asked, holding the ring awkwardly above her hand.
"Whichever one it fits."
She resisted a smile, amused by his nervousness to put a ring on her finger.
He fumbled with it slightly, finding it difficult with only one working hand, and it being dark, to see what he was doing.
He pushed the ring onto her her index finger, it stuck at her knuckle, the middle finger held her mothers ring. He skipped her ring finger altogether ,slipping it instead over her little finger where it stayed. He looked up, catching her smile. She raised her hand, slowly tilting her fingers down and watching the ring slip back over her knuckle and hit the mattress with a soft puff of air.
"I think you need to try again."
She said holding out her hand again, resting her chin on her other hand, her eyes watching him, teasing him as he located the ring.
"I know what you're doing."
He murmured, pushing the ring over the knuckle of her ring finger and down into place.
She raised her hand, letting the light dance across the little Celtic knot before placing her hand back down onto the bed, leaning on it so that she could more forward, placing a soft warm kiss against his lips.
"Thank you."
She whispered, her breath against him.
He glanced down at the ring, his eyes moving back up slowly, momentarily resting on where the neckline of her top fell away from her chest.
"So when we get back home..."
She paused, waiting for him to look back up to her face.
"Mmm?"
He breathed.
"If we're going to do this properly...do you want to come over to my gaff...to stay...?
She almost laughed as she spoke, his smile so wide, so perfect.
"Come over to your gaff...?"
He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It's not rude."
She attempted indignation but her smile gave her away.
"I'm not coming if its not rude."
He whispered, knocking the tip of his nose against her own, silently asking to be kissed.
I've just discovered I DID leave out the chapter with the phone call. It would be the only chapter I leave out and the only one I keep referring to wouldnt it?! Anyway I'll update it and call it Chapter 30.5 for those that want to read it. I'll do that now...then off to bed to prepare for a fun filled (and exhausting) day tomorrow for my son's birthday! (Thank you for the birthday wishes) xxx