Sam was still mortified after hearing the tale of where Dean had gotten his favorite scrambled egg recipe (which even Gabriel was addicted to after trying it) but he still retained the presence of mind to punch his brother in the face for doing it at the worst possible time. Gabriel, however, was still openly amused at the expression on the demon's faces when they found out they had invited a known hunter to their little party and that his first reaction after eating breakfast with them wasn't to go after them, but demand the egg recipe.
He then bugged Crowley about any rumors of Dean Winchester around that time from the pit, and burst into fresh peals of laughter hearing the demons comment on how weird Dean 'Winchester' was. And then had to repeat the story to a very confused Crowley.
Apparently no one had believed the demons in question because of the outdated information in the pit, so finding out the story was true made Crowley question exactly how the hell Dean had found that group of demons at the right time to join in.
Of course that still left the question of what to do with Anna.
"Why don't we just have her do what Castiel did and transfer her to Gabriel's unit? It's not like Micheal can force him to kill her," said Dean sensibly, as he was currently tormenting Sam with what little he did remember of the orgy, causing the taller brother to hold his ears and hum loudly to avoid getting any details.
Gabriel thought it was hilarious. And a testament to how much Sam loved Dean because he had yet to shoot him in the ass to shut him up. It took real love...or patience...or insanity...not to shoot someone to shut them up about the details of their (ahem) encounters when you really didn't want to know.
And to add to the madness, Castiel had this weird look on his face while Anna was with Gabriel enjoying the chaos Dean was causing by doing his brotherly duty of older siblings everywhere by giving his younger brother details of something that would scar him for life and give him nightmares through the description alone.
"That's actually a good idea. Now where's that popcorn?" said Gabriel grinning.
"Think we should call Luke so he can properly enjoy the show?" said Dean grinning.
Gabriel gave him a thumbs up, and promptly called Lucifer in to enjoy the show.
And the first thing Gabriel asked was if his brother had brought the popcorn. Castiel nearly had a shit fit when he sensed Lucifer, and Anna wasn't much better.
"How... what is he doing out?" said Castiel horrified.
"Relax Cas. Luke doesn't want to go after Micheal any more than I want him to take over Sam. Apparently your dad isn't as dead as people think because he gave him the choice to behave and be allowed out early, or stick in the cage and have to fight Micheal," said Dean flippantly.
It took some doing before Castiel's breathing evened out. Here was another sign that joining the Harvelles was the best option. They at least were up front to their allies. Anna, however, was not as convinced.
"How can you possibly trust him? He's Lucifer," she said.
"He's the cousin people don't like talking about in reunions. He would rather screw over Micheal by insuring I don't say yes to him than to try and steal Gabriel's boy-toy as his own," retorted Dean flatly.
"So nice to hear you say I'm part of the family," said Lucifer dryly. To be honest, it was a nicer description of how they felt about him than Micheal would have used.
"Come on Lucy, you know we love you! Even if you might one day try to violate what's mine in a way I would never forgive you for~!" said Gabriel.
"Dean, could you slap him for me? You're closer," deadpanned Lucifer. Dean obliged with an innocent smile on his face. Gabriel pouted.
"I can't believe you would side with Lucifer," said Anna.
"To be fair, we aren't siding with him. We're siding with the ultimate neutral party after he helped us out. Lucifer just happens to agree with Mort's idea to piss off heaven and hell," said Dean.
"Mort?" repeated Anna.
Without warning, he appeared.
Hello Annadriel. Dean, the angels are planning to send two seraphs after her. If you don't want them to find Lucifer or Gabriel, you might want to leave now. I sincerely doubt your father would appreciate you accidentally burning the house down with a holy oil circle gone wrong,said Mort.
Anna stiffened.
"Death?!" she shrieked.
This was too much for her to take. How could the Winchesters side with Death?
"Please tell me one of those bastards is Uriel. I want to set Loki on his ass," said Dean.
Uriel is the one leading it. It seems your reply to their demands has set off a real flurry of activity. They want to know how you 'corrupted' Castiel enough for him to betray a superior without hesitation,said Mort blandly.
"Good. Maybe that will get their head out of their asses," said Dean flatly.
"Someone had better explain to me now why you're able to see Death and not panic!"
Dean turned his unamused emerald gaze on her. Any chance she had of getting on his good side had vanished.
"Because, little seraph, my soul is not entirely Dean Harvelle. Death is one of my oldest and most trusted friends. And if you angels weren't so caught up in your own little world you would have figured out the truth by now," he said flatly. Castiel shivered.
Even he had figured it out once he chose the Harvelle group over heaven. The signs were all there and this just confirmed his suspicions about what Dean actually was.
Siding with the Master of Death in full power was just a tactical decision, and one he definitely didn't regret. At least Dean was upfront about his intentions and never felt the need to lie to his allies.
Anna's eyes were wide. She cast what little Grace she had on Dean and recoiled visibly.
"You know I think we might as well hand this idiot over to them," said Dean to Gabriel.
Gabriel looked between Anna and Dean, and sighed.
"It would probably be best. Micheal's gonna be pissed as hell with her, but she's too dangerous to keep here. I doubt she'd understand either of you the way Castiel is at least trying to," said Gabriel.
"Quick question. Does the Fidelius work on angels?" asked Dean.
"If you cast it, possibly. Why?"
"I don't want the idiots above finding out about Luke, let alone where Gabriel's hiding. Let them stew for a while longer," said Dean vindictively. They had already threatened Sam's life indirectly through Castiel.
They would not make a direct threat against his small (but still growing strong) family and survive.
The dragon inside demanded that he protect his hoard.
Dean only tempered that protective tendency into a fine point.
Anna would wake up in the middle of an abandoned field with the memory of Dean Harvelle, but unable to give up anything she had learned while she was with the brothers. Dean was very thorough.
She smashed the vial Gabriel had given back to her and went back up. Zachariah was waiting.
"Report," he sneered.
Annadriel told what little she could, unable to speak about the curse Dean had placed on her. They never suspected the entire thing was a set up by Zachariah to ensnare the brothers. To try and get her deep into their camp enough to ferret out anything useful heaven needed to know.
And now she was bound by magic, all because Zachariah failed to realize Dean's true nature.
She hated her life.
It took relatively little time to settle Castiel into the group. Lucifer was their inside man when it came to demons, and Castiel was their inside source to heaven. Apparently he had amused the Watchers so much they made him an honorary member enough to pass on one of their special mirrors. The fact that in return for their updates he passed on word of Gabriel's misadventures to them was just bonus.
Things seemed to settle down...until Dean and Sam got a case that really caused a lot of trouble.
Dean was grinning. There was no other word for it. Sam looked exasperated and embarrassed as hell.
Gabriel loved it.
"Dammit Dean, will you knock if off?" whined Sam. And he whined.
"Make me bitch," said Dean playfully and with a cackle in his voice.
"You are such a jerk. I don't know why I put up with you," complained Sam.
"Oh come on Sammy! This is hilarious!" said Gabriel laughing.
Sam gave him a look. Dean interpreted it as Bitch Face number four, aka Gabriel was sleeping on the couch tonight.
"Gabe, he's ferreting out the details of our sex life and what positions we use. He knows I prefer to keep that kind of thing to myself," said Sam deadpanning.
"It's pick on the Samsquatch day!" said Dean, more than a little drunk. Gabriel cackled and clinked his bottle in agreement. The look on Sam's face as Gabriel cheerfully discussed the amount of kinkiness that went on in their bedroom was absolutely hysterical, and like a good big brother Dean was like Bear on a bone.
Embarrassing his baby brother was always fun for him, especially when he was dead drunk and wouldn't remember half of what Gabriel told him.
Bear barked in agreement, the two pugs having settled next to their alpha.
"Gabriel if you don't knock it off right now I'm not letting you anywhere near me for a week," warned Sam. Gabriel gave him a look, clearly stating that he would believe that when pigs flew without magic.
Dean snickered evilly. He saw the other look Gabriel had in his eyes. Sam was going to be in for a rough couple of nights if Gabriel had his way.
Castiel rolled his eyes. Sometimes the Harvelles were total children. Though in a fit of evil genius, he decided to show Sam the angel banishing rune.
Gabriel would be kicked out of the bedroom (plus the house), and it would take hours for the sigil to wear off.
Something Sam took vindictive pleasure in, and Gabriel whined incessantly to Lucifer about a week later.
Dean looked at the books with barely contained annoyance. It was bad enough learning about the Harry Potter series. It was worse running into the Supernatural ones.
Mostly because while the ones about his past life were only a little wrong, this Supernatural was so far off track that it wasn't even funny anymore.
And frankly Dean needed to get through to this Chuck that he was sick of his misconceptions. This had gone on too long for his liking.
It took them two days to find this guy, and the second Dean laid eyes on him his Soul Sight kicked into overdrive.
"You're not the Prophet. What the hell are you?" he said confused.
'Chuck' had way too strong a soul, even one "gifted" by heaven. In fact if Dean had to make a comparison Chuck had a soul as strong as Mort's was the one time he looked at it.
"Come on in. I've made some tea," said Chuck nervously.
Sam looked very confused at this point.
"Dean? What's going on?"
"He feels like Mort," said Dean.
"Wait, what?"
"Call Gabriel if you want to confirm it. Chuck is not human, but whatever he is feels about as neutral as Mort," said Dean flatly.
Sam looked at Chuck with wide eyes. Dean's necklace, a remnant of that horrible night Sam learned the truth about monsters, felt red hot on his skin. He had forgotten to pull it out from under his shirt this morning.
Chuck sighed.
"Actually I'm God. I just prefer not to get involved at the moment," said 'Chuck'.
Dean settled slightly. Mort had explained why God couldn't interfere between Lucifer and Micheal. It was like Gabriel. He couldn't stand choosing one son over the other...and this was a matter of free will, so his hands were tied by the rules. The fact was that while Dean wasn't someone who believed, he did understand in a way many couldn't.
Sam looked shocked beyond belief.
"Do you even hear the prayers anymore?" he had to ask.
Chuck gave him a calm look.
"I hear them all the time. I just can't answer them. Some of them come through clearer than others...like yours."
Sam blushed. He couldn't help it.
"Oh?" said Dean amused.
"'Please keep my family safe. Especially Dean, since he needs it more than anyone,'" repeated Chuck.
Sam still believed in God and it was somewhat amusing to Gabriel that he still prayed each night for God to keep Dean and his family safe. Especially Dean, who was the most damaged of all. He put up a brave front, but Sam knew his brother needed someone he could rely on. Mort was a good start, but he wasn't what Dean really needed.
Sam only hoped Dean would find that person before he snapped.
"Look, I could care less about the books, but could you please quit writing such lies? The way you portray us quite frankly makes me sick," said Dean to Chuck.
"Sorry. I'm actually just rewriting the whole thing from previous takes. This isn't the first time this scenario has happened, though this one is infinitely more cheerful than any of the others."
"What makes you say that?" asked Sam.
Chuck looked at them both equally.
"Because unlike any of the other attempts, this time around you actually let people in. You admit when you need help and you don't let your pride get in the way of asking. Magic played very little, and it has been used before, but whatever Death did to Dean caused a chain reaction and the ripples are still being felt. At this point I can't even tell how it will end, but I get the feeling it won't be as terrible as the last time."