Chapter 15

Mary January 1920

After her Papa had left the room the relief poured out of Mary in huge hacking sobs. She finally had a way out; it was a scary way way out, but she didn't have to marry Richard. She didn't have to spend the rest of her life atoning for that one fateful mistake.

She felt so profoundly grateful to her Mama for being braver than she was and telling her Papa, and so incredibly fortunate that he had been so forgiving. She knew he was disappointed with her, but he hadn't been angry as she had always assumed he would be. And he had given her a way out; a way to escape Richard's threats and ride out the storm of scandal. She didn't have to marry him! She could barely believe it having spent so long feeling completely and soul-crushingly trapped.

The sobs began again, wracking her whole body. It was as if all the pressure which had built up within her had been allowed to escape out of of her, and she gave herself into the sobs.

A voice broke her solitude:

"Are you alright milady?"

Mary looked up to find Carson looking at her with deep concern.

"Carson, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there"

"No, milady, don't apologise. I didn't know anyone was in here and I just wanted to make sure everything was tidied away. I, well, I hope there's nothing serious the matter?"

Mary smiled at him. She loved Carson. He had always been so kind to her, ever since she was a little girl, and even when she didn't deserve it. He was always there, quietly in the background, making sure that she was alright and fighting her corner.

"It may not appear as such, Carson" she said drying her eyes on her handkerchief, "But I'm actually very much alright. Something which has been causing me a great deal of anguish has finally been resolved, or at least I now know how I can resolve it, and I'm really very relieved. Very very relieved."

As she finished speaking she felt very teary and emotional again.

"I'm so sorry Carson, I truly am alright. The happiest I've been in a long time!" she said smiling through the tears.

Carson smiled indulgently back at her.

"I'm so glad to hear that milady."

He smiled at her again and left the room. Mary finished wiping her eyes and stood up. She was scared about ending things with Richard, and the ensuing scandal, and also about Matthew finding out, but deep down she felt a peace inside her that she had not felt for a great many months. A new chapter in her life could finally start.

Matthew January 1920

Matthew knew that he was annoying his mother by pacing around the drawing room, but he couldn't find anything to occupy his restless mind. He had tried reading, and got Molesley to bring him a glass of whisky, and even got out some papers to do with the estate which he'd been meaning to go over, but all to no avail. He could not stop thinking about what Mary meant when she'd said that she had to marry Carlisle and he'd despise her if he knew the reason.

He didn't want Mary to marry Carlisle, but when that was for purely selfish reasons he had been able to accept that it was out of his hands, but now it seemed that Mary was marrying him against her will he could not stand it. What on earth could Carlisle be using to blackmail her in this way? His mind had been racing through the possibilities for the last two days: something he knew about Mary? Something about the family? The estate? Something Mary had done? Something he'd done to Mary? Each time he cycled through the list he worked himself up into such a a rage with Carlisle that he was all but ready to head down to London to find him and have it out with him there and then.

"Matthew!" his mother said wearily.

"For goodness sake! Either tell me what the matter is, or go to bed! I cannot bear anymore of this incessant pacing around me!"

"I'm sorry, mother" he said "I'm not trying to annoy you. I, I'm afraid I cannot tell you, but I will leave you in peace."

He left the room, but instead of heading up the stairs to bed he grabbed his coat and hat and headed out into the evening cold. It wasn't too late to see Mary at the house if he walked quickly. They always ate dinner later than he and Isobel did so he should be able to get Carson to hook her out whilst everyone else was engaged post-dinner.

He couldn't let Mary be bullied into marrying a man who was rough and unkind to her. Whatever Carlisle was holding against her could not be enough to subject her to a lifetime of misery. He would ask Mary to tell him, and then he would find a way to help her.

He headed out into the night, a steely determination in his eyes.