I am back. :)

Chapter Sixty – Two

It was a slow morning in their house even with the twins awake and Haymitch liked it this way. Effie walked into the kitchen, hunched over as her feet shuffled tiredly across the floor. There were deep, dark circles under her eyes. Haymitch took in her lifeless appearance with a frown and gestured for her to take a seat.

Her eyes rested on Ethan who was sitting on the kitchen table in front of his father with his legs apart, an empty plastic plate filled with biscuit crumbs in between the spaces of his legs. His stuffed tiger was propped against the wall. He ignored his mother, occupied with something far more important. Ethan's fingers were covered with honey which he was licking off with an intense look of concentration on his face. If Haymitch was the kind to gush over his children, he would probably say that the boy was adorable.

Tristan, on the other hand, was on Haymitch's lap, trying to reach for the plate of toasts. Haymitch handed a piece to him which he immediately began chewing on. Unlike Ethan, Tristan turned his head to look at his mother when Effie slid into the empty chair.

"Hello," Effie managed to say and brushed the back of her finger on her son's cheek.

"Eat," Haymitch said, pushing the same plate Tristan was after towards her.

He stifled a yawn. The lack of sleep was telling. Effie's frequent nightmares had kept him awake for days now as he held her and whispered in her ears, telling her to come back to them.

"You made these?" she asked.

"There's no else here who could make those toasts now except for me," he grinned, trying to get a smile on her face.

It was a mistake because for a brief second, Effie was startled by what he had said. Her shoulders dropped. Effie was always the one going on about the importance of breakfast and had made sure that there was always something for him to eat each morning.

"I didn't mean it like that," he grunted apologetically.

Effie took the proffered breakfast without question. To an outsider, it was a normal scene – a family having breakfast – but there were too many things that was out of place that only highlighted Effie's mental state.

For one, Ethan was on the kitchen table, something Effie deemed highly improper. She would never have allowed it. A chair was meant for sitting and that would be what she would have said to Haymitch. Then there was Ethan dipping his fingers into a jar of honey. Effie would have taught the one year old toddler the uses of a spoon.

Instead, she sat quietly, nibbling on her toast. Her eyes were glazed over and Haymitch doubted she was very aware of her surroundings. It was the effects of the sleeping syrup she had taken yesterday. It left her groggy.

"Any plans?" he asked.

"I don't know," she lifted her eyes up briefly to meet his. "I'm tired."

Haymitch sighed.

Effie without any plans for the day sounded odd to his ears and he had heard many odd things coming out of her mouth over the years. On any other day, Haymitch would certainly welcome the monotony but at the moment, Effie felt soulless. He would have agreed to anything she suggested even a walk to the meadow.

"Don't do that, darling," Effie frowned at Ethan.

The boy was done with breakfast evidently since he had started to splatter honey on the walls. Haymitch shifted Tristan over to Effie, scooped Ethan up and washed his hands clean. He opened the door to their backyard.

"Geese," he nudged his son, giving the boy some stale bread. "Go. I'll be right with you."

If Ethan was going to make a mess out of things, he can do it outside the house. Glancing over his shoulder at Effie, Haymitch said, "why don't you read to him? Spend some time with him before you take your nap."

Without a word, she relocated to the sofa in the living room with Tristan. Haymitch ran his hands through his hair in exhaustion. It was becoming tiring pulling all the weight in the house. He never realized just how much he relied on Effie until now.

"You need me to show you again?" he crouched next to Ethan, talking to him quietly.

This was their time alone together - spending the morning feeding the geese like they had been doing for the past month – and he found himself enjoying these quiet moments with his son. Tristan, like Effie, was never interested in the geese. He was better off indoors with his mother.

"Tear the bread off into pieces and then you feed them. Watch."

XxX

The rest of the day crawled at a snail's pace. Haymitch fixed his geese pen with Ethan sitting and rolling around on the grass making a nuisance out of himself, and dirtying the clothes that Felix had bought. Occasionally, Haymitch would look through the window to check on Effie and Tristan. She had read through two books to him and was currently watching a children's show together.

That night, he was woken up to the sound of running water. Every light in the bedroom had been switched on. Haymitch sat up groggily, glancing towards the clock. It was four in the morning and Effie's side of the bed was empty.

Not again, he thought. His eyes roamed the room, trying to locate her before he moved towards the bathroom.

"Effie?" he called out loud enough to announce his presence so that his sudden appearance would not startle her.

He drew the shower curtains back. Effie was on the floor, her hands wrapped tight around her knees. She was still dressed in her blue night gown, soaking and trembling. The shower was turned on at full blast and the water was freezing cold.

"What in – What are you doing, sweetheart?"

Haymitch turned the shower off and crouched in front of her. With a finger under her chin, Haymitch tilted her head up so she would look at him. Effie blinked in confusion, finally realizing that the water had been cut off and that she was no longer alone.

"I – I think I wanted to take a shower."

"In the middle of the night?"

She glanced down at her hands, turning it over to carefully inspect it. "I needed to get rid of the blood. I thought there was blood…"

Haymitch clenched his jaw and refrained from commenting on the insanity of it all.

"Okay, you're all clean now," he reached out and clasped her hand. "Why didn't you take off your clothes?"

She seemed confused by the question and it became clear to him that she may not even be truly conscious of her actions.

"It doesn't matter. Let's get you dry."

"I didn't mean to wake you up," she spoke softly as Haymitch peeled the wet gown off her.

"I told you to get me if there's anything so that means, you wake me up."

"You're a good man, Haymitch," she stated, her fingers grazed against his cheek gently. "You take such good care of me."

I'm trying, the thought briefly passed through his head because he truly didn't know what he was doing with Effie.

Effie lifted both her arms up without any further comments and Haymitch took the wet clothes off her, wrapped a towel around her body before leading her out.

"Haymitch?"

"Yeah?"

There was an old shirt of his that he had worn the night before and had thrown carelessly on the armchair before he went to bed. Haymitch picked it up without a thought and put it on her. That would have to do.

"Do you think my sister's body was dry when she was buried? I think she was drained."

Haymitch froze, not expecting the question at all. "That wasn't your sister's blood. They used – "

He caught himself just in time before he gave it all away. That information wasn't something he was supposed to know.

"- I doubt that," he finished.

They lay in bed, her head pillowed on his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"How much blood is in a human body? I should have paid attention in biology class but -"

"Effie…"

"It felt like a lot."

"Effie, stop," he grabbed her wrist and tugged on it to get her attention. She raised her eyes, watching him warily. "This obsession you have with blood, it has to stop."

"I can't just stop thinking about it, Haymitch," she frowned. "I don't know why it's always in my head."

"I know you can't help it but," his voice softened, "can we just go to sleep for now? We both need it."

They could not go on like this. He wanted to help her but it was beginning to wear him down. She wasn't sleeping properly and neither was he. Every night for the past week, he had woken up to find her in different state of distress. The night before, she had sat huddled in the corner, staring into space for what must have been hours before he woke up and persuaded her back to bed.

Three days ago, he had found her in the children's room in a catatonic state as she lay on the cold hard floor. He cursed loudly when he saw. Haymitch would have tied her to the bed post if it wasn't so barbaric. Still, he slid to the floor, leaned against the wall with her head on his lap and talked to her. Eventually, he fell asleep in that position and when he woke up in the morning, his back was aching. Effie had been apologetic as she framed his face and kissed him, softly and gently.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," he murmured.

He had kissed her back, his hand resting on her neck as he deepened the kiss. He missed her and he seemed to have forgotten that they were still in the nursery until Ethan greeted them good morning with an excited, "Ma!" from his cot.

It was getting a little out of hand and the only thing he was capable of doing was to be there for her during her nightmares. It didn't feel enough. His thoughts went careening back to what he had read from her file – her psychiatrist.

XxX

Having sent the twins over to Katniss's and Peeta's, and knowing that Effie was in the living room, hopefully sleeping, Haymitch spent his morning in the study.

He dialed the clinic's number and waited. Exton Flaminius recognised him once Haymitch introduced himself – "Effie's husband, of course! Who doesn't know Haymitch Abernathy?" – and was quick to ask after Effie's well-being. On the phone, the doctor sounded young but pleasant enough.

"I have not heard from Effie for nearly two years now, since the news of the law came about. That's always a good thing because," he chuckled quietly, "seeing or hearing from patients again, isn't always a positive sign, is it? I do hope she is well. She was in quite a state the last time we spoke."

"Oh? Was she… in trouble?"

"Not at all, not at all," Exton was quick to assure him. "She was doing well for herself by then especially with her job. Effie was merely worried about the implications of the law and how it would affect her future. I understood her concerns of course. It was a daunting task having to sift through those marriage petitions."

"She told you about that?"

"I have always advised her that it was best to talk through what she was feeling and Effie was very confused at that time over the choice she had to make between marrying a former colleague and a stranger. It never occurred to me that the former colleague was you until the news of the wedding came about! But, that was her last phone call to me before she relocated to Twelve."

This was all new to him. He always had the impression that the choice was clear for Effie. After all, he was hardly her favourite person. But even so, Effie had taken a few days before she placed the call to him asking if he had anyone in mind and she must have spoken to her psychiatrist during that time.

"I do hope the reason you're calling is not because of the law. I understand you are trying to repeal it and I'm afraid I will not be of much help to you. While I am in the dark on the nature of relationship you and Effie have, I do believe it is in her best interest to have someone. Effie needs support for what she has gone through."

"It's nothing to do with the law," Haymitch said. "The reason I'm calling is because… She's not doing so well. Effie's been having flashbacks and she's… very fixated with blood. The blood set her off and started this whole mess. She hasn't been leaving the house for fear that she may have a panic attack in public unless someone goes with her."

"Agorophobia, very common with panic attacks," the doctor said. "Any nightmares?"

Haymitch snorted. "Don't even get me started on that. She'll wake up in the middle of the night every single day thinking she was in prison, screaming and thrashing. She's just… Effie's not lucid on some days. We have children now and they need their mother but she's not there. I can't rely on her anymore."

"Haymitch, you have to be patient with her. Post-traumatic stress disorder can put a huge strain on the family. There's no cure for it except to give her constant support," said Exton. "You said earlier that this was all triggered by blood? It wasn't by any chance triggered by Johanna Mason, was it?"

"How do you know that?"

"I'm Johanna's doctor."

"Oh. She has been having panic attacks over the year, sometimes she'll just sit and stare into nothing for hours when she's overwhelmed or stressed but the incident with Johanna was the worst so far," Haymitch cradled the phone on his shoulder as he paced the room.

He wasn't used to seeking help from anyone but he had to keep reminding himself that this wasn't for him. This was for Effie. Not only that, it also felt as if he was betraying her confidence just by speaking to her psychiatrist about her problems but … he had done far worse damage by reading through her file. He seemed to be doing a lot of things without Effie's knowledge nowadays. "What do you suggest I do? I can bring her to the Capitol to see you."

"That will be good but I won't advise on bringing her to the Capitol especially in her state. You have to understand, Haymitch, that even the slightest inconsequential things to you and I could trigger a reminder and the City is –"

"I understand."

There was a pause on the line.

"I do have colleagues in Twelve's hospital and I'm sure they wouldn't mind letting me work from there. Perhaps Twelve will be more of a suitable location. She may come down to the hospital or I can arrange a visit to your house, whichever is preferable."

Haymitch rubbed his forehead. The doctor's suggestion sounded better. He wouldn't need to convince Effie on why they suddenly they needed to make a trip to the Capitol. He forced himself not to think of the astronomical doctor's fees he would no doubt incur.

"I have no issues with that," Haymitch nodded.

"Excellent. I can schedule it for next week. Will that be amenable to you?"

XxX

Haymitch felt lighter, considerably more at ease after he had fixed that appointment for Effie. He said nothing to her as of yet, waiting for the right moment or more specifically, waiting for the delivery from the Capitol to arrive.

It had been a week since he told Felix to arrange for it.

"Probably tomorrow," Felix said when Haymitch called him that afternoon. "I've checked with them yesterday."

"Hmmm. How's Jo doing?"

"She's alright. We're going to Four maybe next week. She wants to see Finn and then, we thought maybe, we'll visit you in Twelve. I miss Effie."

"We'll see how she fares in a week's time."

It took two more days before the item he ordered arrived on their doorstep. Effie was blissfully unaware of it. Haymitch went looking for her, feeling just slightly excited for her to see it. She was in bed with Tristan nestled to her side and Ethan sitting cross-legged on Haymitch's pillow, both listening to their mother's soothing voice reading them a story from a book.

He paused by the doorway, taking in the scene when Effie lifted her head up to look at him.

"Come on," he carried Ethan off the bed and gestured for Effie to stand. "Let's go outside."

"I like it here," Effie told him quietly, refusing to step out of the house just as he suspected.

"Alright, but humour me for a second, sweetheart, come stand by the window."

Effie sighed as if his request was such a burden to her and she moved to stand by the window next to him.

"See that?" he pointed to the large object on their front lawn, next to the apple tree she was trying to grow.

There was a gasp from her, a reaction and his lips twitched into what could have been a satisfied smile. A reaction from Effie these days were few and far between so this was good. She turned towards him; a disbelieving expression on her face and her eyes glittered with unshed tears.

"Ah, no, come on, let's not do the tears," he frowned.

"But that's a…Did you… Is it ours?"

"It's yours."

"It's a garden swing," she breathed out.

"And it's yours."

I hope you haven't forgotten about the garden swing Effie asked for.

Reviews are appreciated as always! See you next week.