BlairPOV-
''Hey. Thanks for helping out with the kids until Ryder gets home'' I greet Jordan at the door, taking her grocery bag.
We haven't had the best history, obviously. She did damage to me that can't be revered. But finding out why she did what she did, I was able to understand her. We're not exactly best friends, but we're friends nonetheless.
And I'm always there for my friends.
''Don't mention it. I haven't seen you in a while,'' she takes her coat off, and I hang it in the closet, ''You look nice.''
''Thank you. So do you.''
She may just be making polite conversation with me, but I really mean it. She's tall, gorgeous, and looks like a model: perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect clothes.
And, for once, it's not making me feel so insecure.
''So what are the kids doing?''
''Watching television,'' I roll my eyes, and she laughs, ''That'll keep them occupied until the pizza gets here. So, tell me everything. How are you enjoying your classes?''
''They're incredible. I've changed my major several times, but I'm content with my decision. Amy and I broke up, but I guess it was for the best. At least that's what my friend Scarlet says,'' Jordan grins, twisting a lock of dyed red hair around her finger.
From her smile, I can tell that Scarlet is quickly becoming more than a friend.
''That's great, Jordan. You look… happy.''
Even happier than you were the last time I saw you.
''Thanks. So do you,'' she runs a hand through her hair, ''What's going on in your life?'' It's so hectic, and I'm not sure that words accurately describe what I feel.
''Well...Noah is doing so well. He's behind in some milestones, but right on time for others. With the exception of a few colds and ear infections, he's really healthy.''
And to think he was so fragile, so helpless when he was born.
He certainly took a lot of people by surprise with his progress.
''That's amazing,'' she looks down at the wood of the kitchen table that we're seated at ,''How are you and Ryder?''
Right. The sticky subject.
''To be honest, we're in a lot better place than we were in high school. When I was pregnant with Noah, though, it seemed like everytime he said that I was the only girl for him or that he thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world, he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince me.''
There's a pause, before Jordan sighs ,''When you broke up with him earlier this year, he called me. Can you imagine that? Calling the girl who broke your heart to tell her that the woman you plan on marrying hurt you? He was devastated, Blair. He loves you, alright? Even more than he loved me. You make him so, so happy.''
''Two things: Jordan, he loves you. He always will,'' I speak.
From personal experience, and from Kurt's advice and stories, I know that there can be a soft space in your heart for the first person you ever really loved.
''Second of all, I love him. He makes me really happy. I don't have to be someone else with him like I did with a lot of other people. It's just… I want to marry him, I want to raise a family with him, but sometimes it feels like everything is moving so quickly. Like I can't breathe.''
Although, compared to dad and Kurt, Ryder and I are moving very slowly.
Then again, what's right for them isn't necessarily right for us.
''Then you need to tell him that,'' she insists ,''Before it's too late.''
''That's the thing. I want this. I want to marry Ryder, eventually have more kids, and make this work. I don't know, maybe this is one of those days. It's been a long day, actually.''
''How so,'' she questions, leaning her chin on her hand.
''We've been up since… well, before Noah woke up. We have a meeting tomorrow with friends of ours. Unlike my dad, Ryder totally disagrees with me being their surrogate-''
''Surrogate?,'' she raises an eyebrow, ''As in you're going to be responsible for their baby?''
''Well, there's more to it, but yes.''
''Blair, do you think that's a good idea,'' she hesitates before continuing ,''Look, I know I'm the last person that should be giving you advice. But you have got to put your health first sometimes. From what I understand, being pregnant has physical, mental, and emotional impacts on you. You are in school, working, raising a baby, and recovering from an eating disorder. Are you sure that you're the best person to take on this responsibility?''
Why am I the only one that believes that I can do this?
True, I don't have the strength my mom did. I remember she was working three jobs just to take care of me at one point.
I can do this. I know I can.
''I appreciate your concern. I do. But I have to think of Noah first. Noah has to have clothes, food… Ryder can't do that alone. Besides, I've been pregnant before. I make sure to eat healthy, take my vitamins, and avoid things that I know could harm the baby,'' I remind her.
''But this won't be your baby,'' she sighs ,''And what if health complications arise? Are you prepared to deal with that? What about if something happens to the baby? Have you ever read Rachel Berry's autobiography? She talked about her mother being the surrogate for her dads, and the slight regret she felt afterwards. Can you-''
''Jordan, believe me when I say that I hear and understand you. I have considered every possibility that I could think of. But, in the end, I know that I can do this. I want to help Puck and Quinn, and provide for Noah. I know I sometimes crack under pressure, but I would never do anything to harm the life growing inside of me. I appreciate this talk, but I'm doing this.''
I know I can do this.
''Alright. It's not like you don't have a good support system,'' she admits ,''And you're one of the strongest people I know.''
It's funny. Ironic, I guess. Four years ago, I was at a point of self-hatred because of her. If anybody had told me that Jordan Stearn would be sitting at my kitchen table encouraging me rather than disparaging me, I would never have believed them.
Time really can change things. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.
In this case, I'd definitely have to agree with the former.
Because it looks like things are going to look up.
RoryPOV-
''No!,'' I reach forward, pulling the shoe away from Finn ,''You can't eat everything, little guy.''
Like that's gonna keep him from trying.
''Well this one's clean,'' Sugar comes back with Wendy, ''I dressed her, brushed her hair, and helped her brush her teeth. How are you two holding up?''
''Well, as soon as I finished giving Finn his bath and dressed him, he proceeded to attempt to eat a whole shoe. I got it from him though,'' I quickly explain at her horrified expression.
''So Wendy through a tantrum about having to take a bath, and Finn is attempting to eat everything in sight,'' she rolls her eyes fondly, ''Fun.''
''I know,'' I laugh as she and Wendy join us on the floor.
''I don't think we should enroll them into preschool until they're three. They should be potty-trained and a little more well-behaved by then,'' Sugar admits, watching as the twins play with their toys.
''I agree. That's the age dad and Blaine enrolled Gracie in preschool, I think.''
Sure, Sugar and I have to make our own decisions based on what would be best for our kids. Still, there's nothing wrong with taking hints from two people that we look up to.
I hope I can be half as incredible as my dad. Because there is no one as great as he is.
''Harmony is taking Blair, Lily, Marley, Courtney and I to get our bridesmaids' before she has to go back to school. Do you have to work? I can call my mom to babysit.''
''I was trying to pick up more shifts. One of my coworkers is on maternity leave, and another asked me if I could take over his,'' I admit.
''Alright. We just have to find a new daycare for the kids. I like Ms. Corcoran and all, but she's had to raise her rates. We can't afford that for two kids,'' Sugar lounges on her stomach, staring at our kids.
No matter how stressful things are, no matter how tight money gets, I know that we can agree on one thing: Wendy and Finn are the best parts of our lives.
''We're going to make this work,'' I remind her as she lays her head on my shoulder ,''I know I still have to finish school. But I'll get a job after that. Thank you, by the way. I don't know how many women would have stuck by me and not let me give up on myself.''
Actually, I don't know how many people in general would not have given up on me.
''You believe in me when I can't do it, so I'll do the same for you,'' Sugar shrugs ,''Love is give and take, right?''
''Right,'' I take her hand, running a finger over the wedding ring.
''Mommy,'' Finn toddles over, stopping in front of Sugar.
''Yes,'' she raises an eyebrow, grinning at him.
He reaches out his arms, signaling for her to pick him up.
''Oh, is my little man sleepy?,'' she carefully stands, running a hand through his hair ,''Come on. Say goodnight to daddy.''
He lifts his head up from my shoulder long enough to wave before Sugar is carrying him to the twins' bedroom.
''What about you,'' I question Wendy, ''Ready for bed?''
She scrunches up her face, so I'll take that for a no.
''You might as well be. Your bedtime is soon,'' I pull her into my arms, smiling when she lays her head on my shoulder ,''You know, you and your brother are so precious to me. Your mom and I love you so, so much.''
Believe me when I say that you mean more to me than myself.
''I want you both to know that you can be anything you want when you grow up. Don't let anything stop you,'' I run my hand through her light brown hair.
My birth parents always encouraged me, as do Kurt and Blaine. It's only right that I do it for my kids.
''I've told your brother this, so now I'm telling you: I have some regrets. But this family- your mom, you, your brother, is not one of them. I'd do anything for the three of you. I promise.''
Whatever I have to sacrifice, I will. Dad always did that for me, I'll do it for them.
Sugar clears her throat behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder.
''She's sleep, babe. I've got her,'' she quietly speaks, taking our daughter into her arms ,''I've got Finn asleep. Why don't you put in a movie for us?''
''Sure,'' I agree as Sugar takes Wendy to the room.
So maybe I didn't imagine I'd be twenty-one with kids, spending New Years Eve taking care of them rather than going to a a party. I didn't always imagine I'd be married this young.
Actually, I think I like this more than anything I could have imagined. It's not easy, but it's wonderful.
And I hope Sugar feels the same way.
BPOV-
''Is it me, or was this a bad idea,'' Kurt questions, opening a cabinet and taking down a large bowel.
Rather than going to Times Square for New Years Eve, some of our friends are coming over to spend time at the apartment.
''Oh, you love them,'' I straighten a pillow ,''Besides, I think the last time we were all together was Sugar and Rory's wedding.''
Life is short. Why not spend time with the people you care most about?
''True. Maybe next year we can go to Times Square. You know, when you're not coming down with a cold,'' he smirks.
''I am not,'' I protest, but quickly sneeze afterwards.
Damn it.
''Exactly,'' Kurt sets the bowl on the counter, quickly making his way over to me ,''Look, I'm not trying to belittle you when I say this: I know you wanted to go. But I don't think that we should risk this cold turning into something worse. Especially when you're due to start work again so soon.
There he goes. Always looking out for me.
''I understand. I was more upset because I thought that you would be disappointed,'' I reveal.
''Hmmm… true, I wanted to do something different,'' Kurt nods ,''But it's our amazing, marvelous years with a man that saved me from myself. I love you, Blaine Warbler.''
You took the words right out of my mouth.
''I love you, too, Kurt Anderson-Hummel,'' I press my lips against his ,''And, after our friends leave, I propose that we make the most of an empty apartment.''
Because those nights are so rare now.
''I absolutely agree with that.''
The kiss is more heated this time, dangerously closed to turning into something more.
Not that I would mind that one bit.
''Could you please stop making out long enough to entertain your guests?''
Kurt and I pull apart at the familiar voice, looking to see Santana, Tina, Rachel, Mercedes, and Quinn in our doorway. each with an amused expression.
''We have got to take her key away,'' Kurt hisses as we separate even further.
I couldn't agree more.
''Well, if you two are done, where's our hello hugs,'' Tina pouts, opening her arms as I quickly engulf her in a hug.
''We're sorry. We were making the most of our alone time. Until someone barged in on us,'' Kurt embraces Santana, who laughs mischievously.
''Where are the guys? And Britanny and Dani,'' I wrap an arm around Mercedes and Quinn each.
''Dani can't make it,''Santana quickly, and her tone suggests that she doesn't want to discuss it now.
''Brittany, Mike, Sam, Artie and Puck are on their way,'' Quinn beams ,''It's a glee reunion.''
This is like Kurt's second family. Honestly, they've made me feel welcome, too. Just as welcome as Wes and David did in my first weeks at Dalton Academy. Just like when the three of us get together, it looks like nothing has really changed among this group of friends.
Afterall, isn't that the way it should be?
It isn't long before the last few guests show up, pizza and two bottles of wine in tow.
Hours later, we're lounging in the living room, one laugh coming after another.
''Hopefully this won't end up like Berry's trainwreck of a party,'' Santana takes a sip of wine, laughing as Rachel's face turns the color of the liquid.
''Oh, nothing could be as bad as that,'' Artie shakes his head, causing Sam, Puck, and Mike to nod in agreement.
''Do I want to know,'' I raise an eyebrow as Rachel covers her face with her hands.
''No,'' she groans, leaning backwards.
''Blaine, you should have been there.'
''Sam's right,'' Puck quickly chimes in ,''I mean, the party sucked like a vacuum. Until I broke into her dads' liquor cabinet.''
I actually do wish I had met you guys sooner.
It also means that I would have known Kurt longer.
''It can't be any worse than some of the things he Warblers and I got up to,'' I shrug, lacing Kurt's fingers with mine.
''Yes, but is there a video of you singing Push It by Salt-n-Pepa with one Miss Rachel Berry?''
Brittany receives glares from Kurt and Rachel, but she just shrugs it off.
''There's a whole video of the performance on youtube,'' Artie grimaces ,''The one from the pep rally.''
There's a collective groan from Kurt, Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina at that, and I make a mental note to question Kurt about it later.
''Well... I bet it was hot,'' I try to come to Kurt's defense, ''Especially with so many talented people in it.''
That seems to relieve some of Kurt's embarrassment, because he takes my hand, mouthing a 'Thank you'.
''I love you.''
''I love you, too.''
He presses a kiss to my lips, ignoring the whistles of our friends.
''Real mature, guys,'' Santana rolls her big brown eyes before standing from the couch and stalking towards the kitchen, ''I'm getting some more wine.''
Her sudden mood change alarms us, and I find myself following her.
''Santana?''
''Where do you guys keep your corkscrews,'' she pulls another drawer open, searching in vain.
''Right there,'' I point to the one right next to her.
' ''Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind,'' she runs her hand through raven black hair.
''Santana, you know you can talk to me, right? I'm just as much your friend as Kurt is.''
We're both always here for you.
''I'm fine, hobbit,'' she rolls her eyes, pouring a glass of wine.
''You're obviously not,'' I disagree ,''But I can't make you talk about your feelings or anything. Just know that I'm here.''
I'd do anything for my friends.
''Fine,'' Santana snaps ,''Looking at you and Kurt? It hurts. It kills me, Blaine. Because I had that with Dani. Everything could have been ours, and she doesn't even want my anymore. Being apart got to be too much for her. She broke up with me a while ago. I thought we could make it work when we were both back here, but...''
Shit.
''Why can't I have what you and Kurt have? All of my friends have that. I know I can be horrible, but I don't mean half of the things that I say, and-''
''Hey,'' I place my hands on her shoulders ,''Don't cry. Santana, please don't cry.''
''I just want somebody to want me.''
I haven't heard that much pain in someone's voice since Kurt confessed just how badly Andrew treated him.
It still makes my stomach turn.
''Santana Lopez, you are a wonderful, talented, beautiful person. There's a side of you that only people who love you the most get to see. The right woman will see that.''
In face, she's sitting in the living room right now, I believe. Still feels the same after all these years.
''Thank you, Blaine,'' Santana composes herself ,''I'm only going to say this once, and I'll deny I said it if you tell someone, but I'm glad you found Kurt. I'm glad he found you. You two are the most solid couple I know, besides Mike and Tina, and Sam and Mercedes. You two are in it for the long run.''
I sure hope so.
''I appreciate that, Santana,'' I take her hand ,''Now, let's get back to everyone. It's almost midnight.''
''Of course,'' she grins ,''That room lacks fabulousness without us.''
Behind her harsh exterior is a girl who's in search of the same thing that many of us are: love, and acceptance.
Santana? She'll find it. She's incredible. It sometimes takes someone showing you deserve better until you believe it yourself.
It's not the same for everyone, true. And Kurt and I were the best possible people for each other.
''Everything alright,''he whispers as I join him, sitting on the floor.
''Yeah,'' I press a kiss to his cheek ,''Happy anniversary. I love you.''
''I love you, too,'' he smiles, bringing me in for a sweet kiss
Not the first, and definitely not the last.
SugarPOV-
''This is nice. We haven't just… cuddled like this in a while.''
It's about half an hour after midnight. Officially a new year.
And a new year with the love of my life.
''It is,'' Rory agrees, smoothing my hair out ,''I love you.''
I know. I don't doubt that.
''I love you, too.''
And don't you doubt me.
''I know the past year was rough for us. But I think we came out better in the end,'' he reveals, closing his eyes as he leans back.
We always do.
''You can go to sleep, you know,'' I tease ,''I'll still be here in the morning.''
And for the rest of our life together.
''I know,'' my husband presses a sweet kiss to my head.
''Night,'' he immediately responds, drifting off to sleep moments later.
Despite the moments that make me want to scream at him, Rory is incredible. His birth parents, and Kurt, raised him well. He'd do anything for the kids, and for me. He's even offered to get another job if need be.
That's the love I want. The love that made Ryder decide to sale his car and drums to help provide for his family. The love that made Jake pawn his guitar so that he could get Marley her engagement ring. The same love that Kurt and Blaine obviously have for eachother.
Because as strong as I am, as much as I'd give up if I had to, it's nice to know that I'm not in this alone.
Rory is exhausted. Not that he'd let me know. He doesn't want me to worry, which makes me worry about him alot.
It doesn't matter. For now, anyways. All that matter right now is my family, especially my loving husband and incredible children.
Someday, we will have everything we talked about. We won't stop working until we do.
For now, though, I'm happy just to walk that road with Rory.
RyderPOV-
''Hey,'' I wrap an arm around Blair, her back pressed against my chest as we lie on the bed ,''I woke up and you weren't here.''
''Sorry. Grace had a nightmare and woke up Jacob, so I had to get them back to sleep. Then, Noah peed the bed.I had to change the sheets, clean him, and then clean myself. Don't worry.''
''Next time, wake me up. You don't have to do this all alone,'' I remind her.
''Noah is just as much my responsibility as he is yours, yes,'' she agrees, '' But I handled it.''
''Blair, please. Do not stress yourself out. You have enough on your plate,'' I hold her closer.
Especially if you're serious about this surrogacy.
''I know. I can handle it,'' she rolls over to face me ,''Look, I know you're here for me and Noah. You do as much work as I do. But I can do a lot on my own. I do… I do want you to come with me to talk to Puck and Quinn tomorrow.''
''Alright,'' I kiss her forehead ,''Are you sure that you want to do this?''
I've almost lost you once. Please don't make us go through that again.
''This isn't just about the money. It's something more. I can honestly say that the days Grace and Noah were born were the best days of my life.''
''So can I.''
''That's all Quinn wants. She's happily married, she loves her career, and she wants to be a mom. Being a mom is the most rewarding thing that has ever happened to me. She's been there for me, and it's time that I be there for her. At this point, I don't even think I would mind them not paying us. I honestly just want to do this for them, and help provide for Noah.''
She has a point. Quinn has been there for her for years, and Noah is our main priority.
''Well, then, we'd better get to sleep. We have to drop the kids off pretty early if we want to make it to our appointment with Puck and Quinn.''
''Thank you. For supporting me and believing in me. I love you,'' she kisses me, and it gets heated quickly.
''Hmm… I love you, too.''
And I'll be here for you throughout this whole thing.
KPOV-
''We should leave the kids with a babysitter more often,'' I lean my head against Blaine's sweater, pressing a kiss to the sweaty skin.
Our friends went home a few hours ago, and, after making sure they safely made it to their destinations by taxis, we utilized the rest of our 'alone time'.
''I agree,'' Blaine kisses my neck, ''Especially if every night would be like last night.''
''Hmm… you're the only one that can bring out this side of me,'' I admit.
I feel attractive with you, like I didn't always feel with Andrew. Every imperfection is just something that we love about each other.
''In all seriousness,'' Blaine cups my cheek, ''This year was rough on us. We had to deal with two teenagers, a pre-schooler, and a first grader, and make it all work. Then my accident happened, and Gracie was hurt, and they didn't know if I'd walk again...''
He swallows thickly at the memory, at the hours we spent in physical therapy and doing exercises at home.
''Yeah,'' I whisper ,''And you proved them wrong. We got through this year together, Blaine.''
Just like we do everything.
''I love you, Kurt. Words don't describe what you mean to me. And, damn, I love raising a family with you. Those kids mean everything to me. I'd be so ready to adopt again, or use a surrogate, if you want to.''
The thought has crossed my mind…
''But, for now. I just,'' he gasps with a smile ,''I just want to be with you. I waited a long time for you and now I want to enjoy every moment that I have with you.''
Funny.I feel the exact same way.
He's emotional, which isn't exactly usual for him. But it's a part of my husband. The part of Blaine that only I get to see.
''I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere,'' I reassure him.
And the part that will always be safe with me.
Thanks for everyone who gave me their opinions on the surrogacy! Wes and David in the next chapter!
Disclaimer- glee belongs to Fox and Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk