Hello! I was having some difficulties writing Consortium so i never thought I'll be able to update it this week but hey, today was a good day and I managed to write this chapter out. Hopefully, the next chapter won't be as difficult to write.

Chapter Sixty-Three

"You remembered," she breathed out.

It had been months since Effie had told him about the swing. He had forgotten about it until recently when he was watching over the boys as they played on their swing set. Haymitch had no idea what motivated him to call Felix asking him to place an order for it but all he knew was that he wanted to put a smile back on Effie's face, to give her a gift.

The garden swing came with a snarky note from Johanna – "Nice touch, Abernathy. Step one to courting a woman: buy a swing set and seduce her under the stars, no? – and when he had read it, Haymitch could picture her snickering to herself as she penned down the note with Felix probably rolling his eyes behind her. The note was currently folded in half in his pocket.

"I had a little help," his eyes trailed over to his children. "Want to test the swing?"

Haymitch laid a hand on the small of her back, prompting her to turn away from the window to face him.

"Come on."

Effie hesitated for a second and as if she really had to make sure, she asked, "you bought it for me?"

"No need to sound so surprised. You wanted it, didn't you?"

She nodded, framed his face in her hands and tiptoed slightly to peck his lips. "Thank you."

There it was - the smile on her face. A dreamy smile that made her blue eyes sparkled. It was all he wanted and Haymitch released a breath in relief as he led her out towards the porch.

The black rattan swing came with a canopy and white coloured sofa cushions. It wasn't that big but it was enough to fit two people on it. Even so, they managed to make enough space for Ethan to sit in between them while Tristan was content to sit on Effie's lap with his mother's arms around him. She began to rock the swing gently.

"Look what Daddy got for me," she whispered in Tristan's ear. The boy puckered his lips and turned towards Haymitch.

"It's reassuring to know that he recognizes me as his father, even if he can't speak yet," Haymitch muttered.

"Don't be silly, Haymitch. Of course, he does. You let him sleep on your chest night after night."

"Ta!" Ethan exclaimed, pointing across the house. He tried to wriggle down but Haymitch held him fast. Across the house, he saw Peeta walking home from the bakery. The young man stood in front of his front door, waving happily at Ethan before turning towards Haymitch with a two thumbs up while pointing at the swing.

The moment Peeta went inside his house, Haymitch started to snicker.

"You heard him?" he asked Effie. "The boy said Ta. If he had only taken the first syllable of Peeta's name then that would be absolutely hilarious."

"Haymitch!"

"I'm just saying," Haymitch shrugged. "It was a possibility."

Haymitch was in a good mood simply because the day was turning out to be just as good. He was having a conversation with Effie and she was talking more than she ever had in the past few days.

"I really like this swing," Effie spoke quietly, pressing her cheek on his arm. Ethan squirmed and tried to push his mother away in order to make more space for himself.

"Good," Haymitch nodded. "Not cheap."

Tried as she might, it was difficult to hide the smile on her face. Money was never an issue and she knew Haymitch didn't mind it. The children's swing set, their cribs and the furniture in their nursery were not cheap. When she had bought them, Effie had expected Haymitch to throw a fuss but he never did. She thought she knew why.

All those years when he had money to spare, he never had anyone to spend it on except to splurge it on alcohol but it was different now. He had a reason to spend his money on his children and if anyone in this house was in the habit of spoiling people rotten, it would probably be Haymitch although he would go about it in a way that would not tarnish his grumpy, surly reputation; the same way he had brought the swing set for the children and now for her. She just needed to ask. It may not be immediate and he would mumble under his breath about how it would burn a hole in his pocket but he would buy it for them eventually. She knew him well enough by now.

"Sweetheart, during one of those nights, do you remember telling me how you didn't want the boys to grow up with memories of you having panic attacks?"

Effie lifted her head, looking at him curiously. "Yes."

"There's something I want to discuss with you. It's … for your own good. I just need you to hear me out first, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded uncertainly.

"I found your doctor, Exton, and I called –"

"How do you know about him?" she asked sharply.

She had never told him about her doctor just as she had never informed him about her time in the underground prison. Those were the things of the past. When she married Haymitch, Effie was determined to start anew. It had been a good plan at the time but she never thought her past would catch up with her.

"I asked people," he lied cleanly. "There's only so much I can do to help, Effs. You need more than what I can give."

If she was suspicious, Effie was quickly distracted by what he had said about needing help. She bit her lower lip, thinking it through while trying to understand where he was going with the conversation.

"I want to be happy. That's all I ever wanted after the war. I don't – I don't want to …" she took a deep breath. "You said the nightmares won't ever leave."

"It won't. You have to learn to deal with it."

"You chose to drink," she pointed out. "It's not a healthy coping mechanism but that's how you dealt with it."

"To each their own. I drink because it helps me forget," he explained. "But I don't want you going down that path."

He gave her a brief glance out of the corner of his eyes. If he wanted her to trust him, to know that he was there for her and that she wasn't alone then he would have to give her a piece of him in return, tell her something he had never told anyone.

After he had lost everything, Haymitch was alone. He had no one. He had learnt to survive the hard way. He taught himself to keep his head above water by drinking. The logic was simple. If he could suppress the memories, squash the guilt and forget the faces even for just a little while then he wouldn't be dragged underwater by the weight of it. That was how he survived but it was different for Effie.

"I could… I could have been a different man without the alcohol or if I had never picked up that drink years ago. I don't know for sure but I think about it sometimes. Maybe I could have helped a few more tributes or made a few more friends. Maybe I wouldn't be so angry. I don't know," he let out a breath. "Years too late now anyway. I've made myself into who I am today but what I'm trying to say is that I've been there, sweetheart, and I don't want you to repeat my mistakes. If there is a way to help yourself without harming yourself, you should take it. Will you see your doctor? I've arranged for him to come to Twelve so we don't have to go back to the Capitol."

The minutes stretched and Haymitch gave her the space to think. There was no use pushing her to agree.

"I have something to live for. I have you and the children and… I want to get better for them," she choked. "I want to be a good mother."

"You are the absolute best," he whispered as he touched her cheek and rested his head against hers. "And I'm sure they agree with me. If they don't…"

She laughed lightly. "I'll see Exton."

"Good," he kissed her hair. "Why did you stop seeing him in the first place? The distance?"

"I didn't feel like I needed to keep on seeing him," she said tiredly. Effie hooked her arm around his and leaned her head against his shoulder. The children had run off to play, leaving them alone on the swing. "It felt like … there was something wrong with me the more I kept on visiting my doctor. It made me feel weak and I just wanted to lead my life, be normal. I wanted people to see me as a normal person."

"You were worried about what people were saying? You know that's stupid, Effie."

"People pass judgment all the time," she frowned, her tone was angry and bitter. "It was difficult. I was on my own, trying to stand on my own two feet and get my life sorted out again. I needed a job but I couldn't get one."

"Why?"

"Because people thought I was crazy. The moment I stopped seeing Exton, surprise, surprise, I managed to get an employment. Nobody wanted me before that. Apparently, it's not feasible to have an employee who would have to keep taking time off from work to see her psychiatrist. I might… I might even lose my job at the factory now."

"People are idiots. If they can't see that you're good at what you do then it's their loss. But I want you to get better and it doesn't matter if you can't go back to the factory. You're Effie Trin – "

"Abernathy," she finished him off.

"Yes, that. You can have any other job."

XxX

The scene in the kitchen the next morning was of utter chaos. Peeta, Katniss and their daughter had come over to have breakfast together. It was Peeta's idea, thinking that it might be good for Effie.

As it was, Peeta was at the stove making pancakes when Ethan had somehow through some unexplainable means managed to reach up and pull the bowl off the counter. It toppled over him. The batter splattered on his head with a blob, spreading pancake mix into his eyes and mouth. The boy started squealing and laughing.

"Ethan Abernathy!" Haymitch thundered.

It only got worse from there because he tried to run away from Haymitch but couldn't see clearly with the batter covering one of his eyes. He stepped onto his brother who was lying on the floor with his bottle. Tristan yelped and started crying which prompted Prim to waddle over and pat the boy's hair. Taking a leaf out of the little girl's book, Ethan did the same except his hands were covered with sticky batter and it was now all over Tristan and Prim.

Katniss hurried over. "See, now we have to get all of you changed!"

"I'm not sure to laugh or be angry because, they're all very cute, aren't they?" Peeta grinned, waving his spatula at the three children.

"Probably the only reason I haven't throttled Ethan yet," Haymitch muttered. "I'll clean the mess."

Without a word, Peeta started rummaging the cupboard for paper towels which he handed over to Haymitch.

"Peeta! Your pancake is burning!" Katniss screeched from where she was at the kitchen door. "You're going to bring the whole – Oh, morning, Effie. We were just … Are you okay?"

At the mention of Effie's name, Haymitch looked up from where he was kneeling on the floor, cleaning up his son's mess. Effie stood at the kitchen door, ignoring everything as she stared at him. She made no move to step into the kitchen and it wasn't because of the spilled batter on the floor either which Haymitch was starting to believe she had completely missed. It alerted him that something was wrong.

"Effie?"

Her eyes glittered with rage and hurt but she refused to let the tears fall. She was shaking. Haymitch pushed himself off with a grunt and stood up. He took a step towards her but she moved back, forcing him to stop where he was in case she fled.

"Everything okay?" he asked uncertainly. Lately, with Effie, it sometimes felt as if he was walking on a tight rope which could snap at any moment.

The moment he asked that question, in one swift motion, Effie moved her hand from behind her and brought up the one thing Haymitch had never wanted to see in her possession; her file from the Capitol.

"You lied to me."

I like my cliffhangers.

I hope you like the chapter and please review :)