BlairPOV-
''You okay?''
Ryder takes my hand on top of the table as we wait for Quinn and Puck to come back from the kitchen with brunch.
''Yeah. I'm fine.''
We'd dropped Noah off with Ryder's dad, since we don't know how long this meeting is going to take and he tends to get restless. At least we don't have to worry about him getting into anything. Mr. Lynn always keeps a watchful eye on him.
''You still have time to change your mind,'' he reminds me ,''Nothing is set in stome yet.''
''No. I want to do this,'' I reassure him, leaning into his warm embrace as he wraps an arm around my shoulder, pressing a kiss to my head when he does.
''Then what's got you so worried?''
''I know you've been here for me since I began my recovery. But we both know there are days when you have to help me, where I have to resist the urge to get the food out of me,'' I explain ,''I love Noah and Grace, and reminded myself to stay healthy when I was pregnant again. It's after the delivey that I am converned with.''
It's taking me years to love my stretch marks, my stomach, my thighs.
I want to do this. But I'm petrified of hitting the ground when everything is said and done.
Ryder bites his lip, running a hand through brown hair, ''I'll be right back.''
He pushes away from the table, walking to the adjacent room, where Puck and Quinn are.
Ryder returns shortly, ''Come on. We're going to the bathroom.''
Taking my hand, he leads me down a naroow hallway to the second door on the right.
''What are we doing in here,'' I raise an eyebrow as he closes the door behind himself.
''Trust me, okay? I just told them you weren't feeling well. Face the mirror, please,'' he nods towards the reflective glass behind me.
I do, and he wraps his arms around my waist, leaning his head on my shoulder.
''You did this for me when we first started dating. Now, it's your turn. What do you like about yourself? Physically, mentally, or emotionally, I mean.''
''I like my eyes, I like my curls,'' I admit ,''And I think I'm smart. I think I'm a pretty good dancer and singer, or I would not have gotten into NYADA.''
Although that still baffles me somedays.
''Anything else?''
''No,'' I shake my head, leaning back into my boyfriend.
''Okay. My turn then,'' he holds me closer ,''Blair, you are stubborn. And I love it, even if we've gotten into fights because neither one of want to admit when we're wrong. And you're so caring. I've seen you help people that you don't even know. You are smart, and you're funny, and you're a good listener. I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you.''
Ryder takes one of my hands, keeping his arms wrapped around me, ''You have a beautiful body. I'm saying that because I love you, Blair, and I really do love the way that you look. I love your body, and hope that you will, too.''
I hope so, too. I've spent time trying to teach other people that their bodies are fine, and haven't done the same for myself.
''Like I said, I love everything about you. You're not your body. If you were thinner, or if you gained weight, you'd be just as beautiful as you are now. As long as you're happy and healthy, Blair, you're doing well. After the pregnancy, if you feel like you're out of shape, you and I can both get in shape. You wouldn't let me go through this alone, so I won't let you go through it alone.''
He really does love me. Maybe this is what dad has with Kurt.
Either way, it's exactly what I need to hear.
I turn his arms, wrapping my own around his neck as he moves his hands to my hips.
''I love you, Ryder Lynn.''
''I love you, Blair Anderson,'' Ryder kisses my forehead, right on the hairline ,''Now. Let's get back out there before they assume we're fooling around.''
The conversation is far from over. There will most likely be days where I have to lean on him, and try to pick myself up before I do something I'll regret.
I'm not too worried. With my dad, Kurt, Rory, Ryder, Sugar, and my own determination, I know that I can get through this.
''Alright,'' Quinn begins ,''We have some bad news.''
''And that would be...''
''Well, since you'd be giving birth in New York... we can't pay you for having this baby for us,'' she finishes ,''So we would understand if you no longer wanted to help us. We're so sorry, we really should have looked into this more.''
Oh.
''Is there any other way we could do this?''
''I think that it would be possible if you had the baby somewhere else,'' Puck explains ,''Other than that, no.''
''We... we will give you two a minute alone. Puck, help me get the cinnamon rolls out of the oven.''
They leave Ryder and I alone, giving us time to discuss this issue.
''Well. I guess that's it,'' he sighs.
''I still want to do this,'' I look at the wooden table, ignoring Ryder's intense gaze on me.
''Why? I'm... I'm trying to understand, and not get into an argument.''
''Because I... I agree they should have done more research. But they saw this as their moment to finally have a baby. I can have this baby somewhere else. I'll take my classes at NYADA this semester, finish up my acting classes over the summer, and take the fall semester off,'' I explain, ''Then, they can still pay us.''
''What about Noah, Blair? Are you going to take him with you? You wouldn't be able to fly when you're pregnant, and I deserve to see my son, too.''
''Well, then, I'm going to get another job. I have to help with Noah, Ryder. He's just as much my responsibility as he is yours. Look at me,'' I beg, putting a hand on his shoulder when he does ,''I'll drop out of NYADA, and work full time.''
''No,'' he shakes his head ,''You... Blair, you worked really hard to get there.''
''Noah is more important. There are other career options. Maybe could be a dance teacher. I'll go to college for that once Noah is in school. I... I have to take care of him. My mom worked three jobs, even when we were staying with Blaine. She always put me first. I have to do this for him.''
Even if it means giving up on what I've always wanted to do.
Besides: I've been wondering if I even have what it takes to make it anymore.
''Hey,'' Ryder moves some hair from my face ,''We're going to get through this. I promise. Don't we always?''
Someone clears their throat, and we look up to see Quinn in the doorway.
''Hope we aren't interrupting,'' she enters, Puck coming behind her with orange juice and a plate of cinnamon rolls, ''But we have an idea.''
''Of course,'' Puck places the last of brunch on the table ,''you are free to say no.''
''What did you have in mind?,'' Ryder questions.
''If you are willing to be our surrogate, we are willing to help you support Noah,'' Puck answers.
''I thought you said that you couldn't pay us,'' Ryder looks as confused as I feel.
''We can't. And, actually, you don't have to be our surrogate. We'll still do this But we know that taking care of a child is not easy. You two are just starting out. We know that neither one of you want to ask your parents. Especially Kurt and Blaine, since they're still paying medical bills and have four mouths to feed.''
''That doesn't mean that you don't need help. They see it, and we see it,'' Quinn continues ,''As much as Kurt and Blaine have helped, and Ryder's parents, you two do need more help. We want to help you. When we were first starting out on our lives fresh out of high school, we needed help, too.''
''Mr. and Mrs. Hummel, and my mom, helped me a lot,'' Puck nods.
''And my mom helped me. Now, we want to help you. Feel free to think about it, though. Oh, Noah we forgot the quiche.''
Ryder looks at me, nodding before they come back.
''We've come to a decision. I'll be your surrogate,'' I speak.
''Thank you so much,'' Quinn pulls me into a hug.
After brunch, she and Puck walked Ryder and me to the lobby.
''Thank you,'' I smile, hugging her back ,''I didn't know how we were going to this. We've cut back a lot, only splurge if it's something for Noah.''
''I know it can't be easy. But don't you love it? Being a mom,'' she questions.
''I do. More than anything.''
No, I didn't plan on getting pregnant with either Grace or Noah. And Noah gave us quite a scare for the first six months of his life. Still, I'd do anything for him.
''We'll call you tomorrow once we figure out everything. There are documents we have to sign, I assume,'' Quinn speaks ,''Bye, Ryder.''
We finish our goodbyes before rushing towards the car, the freeing wind pushing us to run faster.
''So,'' Ryder looks at me with flushed cheeks, taking my hand in his ,''You're ready for this?''
''Yeah,'' I nod ,''Yeah, I'm ready for this.''
And for whatever else is coming our way.
BPOV-
''Why am I even friends with the two of you?''
Wes and David look up in mock offense, Wes even going as far as to clutch his chest in disbelief.
''You wound us, sir!''
''Act your age, not your shoe size,'' I lean back in my chair, ''And quit making me wonder why I let the two of you into my apartment.''
''It's because you love us,'' David wraps an arm around my shoulder ,''We bring excitement to your otherwise dull life.''
''I have four kids, and an amazing husband. My life is never dull.''
It's never quiet, either. But I digress.
''So,'' Wes leans forward, setting his drink on the table ,''Where is the lucky man?''
''And the rest of your ever so beautiful family?''
''...You two are unbelievable. Remind me to never invite you two during the same time frame. But Jade is at her friend's house, Liam's with his boyfriend. Grace and Jacob are both on playdates. Kurt should be leaving work to pick them up.''
''In all seriousness, you guys make a good team. Like us,'' Wes smirks at David.
''Oh please,'' David scoffs, ''Klaine is no match for the amazingness that is Wevid.''
''You guys are idiots,'' I groan, shaking my head when they high five.
''It's nice to know that you haven't forgotten about us, now that you're married to a celebrity.''
''And friends with all of his celebrity pals,'' David sighs ,''Remember back when he still had time for us, Wes?''
''Those where the good old days, David.''
''Okay, idiots,'' I shake my head ,''Oh, and Jeff and Nick want to see you while you're in New York. So does Sebastian.''
''Oh!,'' Wes gets an excited look on his face ,''We can have a mini Warbler reunion.''
''The first time we'll all be together since your wedding, Blaine.''
''Yeah... that'd be nice.''
After all, the Warblers are the ones who got me out of my shell. I owe a lot to them.
''Maybe we could go to a club,'' David laughs, turning to Wes ,''Since we're single and ready to mingle.''
''I am never going dancing with the two of you again,'' I quickly cut in ,''Never, ever again.''
''I don't know why everyone thinks I can't dance.''
''Does the mixer we had with Crawford Country Day's glee club not ring a bell,'' David snorts in laughter ,''You terrified that poor girl.''
''Jasmine,'' Wes puts emphasis on the name of his high school crush, ''Couldn't handle my mad moves.''
''Apparently you couldn't either. You ended up with a sprained ankle,'' I remind him.
''You know, if we're done with this episode of 'Let's make fun of Wes', I would really like to ask you something,'' he leans forward, ''I've seen the tabloids and the magazines. How do you and Kurt make it work with all of the gossip and stuff?''
''Yeah, man, it's hard enough to make a relationship work without one or both of you being in the public eye.''
Wow. I never expected that from the two of them.
''It's... it's not easy. You guys know how I am. I assume whatever happens in my life is my fault. So does Kurt,'' I begin ,''But Kurt and I kind of balance each other out. We don't let each other take blame for things that our inconsequential, out of our control, or mistakes.''
Because of him, because of our life and relationship and family and friends... I am a much better person.
''We're glad you're happy,'' David grins ,''We can remember when you first started at Dalton. You've come such a long way. And, who knows, maybe I'll meet someone who makes me feel about them the way that you feel about Kurt.''
Wes glances at him with a fond smile before turning to me with a nod, but I'm probably reading too far into things.
''I think that's what a lot of people want,'' Wes agrees.
''Happily ever after doesn't happen for everyone,'' Kurt had said to me once, when we first met.
Thank goodness that it happened for us.
''And you two are totally cool, so you'll find what you're looking for.''
You both deserve to feel what I'm feeling right now.
''Hang on, guys, I've got to take this,'' I take my phone into the next room, ''Hey, Kurt. Kurt... Kurt, calm down. Speak clearly, I can't understand you. Okay, relax, I'll be right there.''
Walking back to the living room, I try to get my head together, ''Guys, that was Kurt. I've got to get to the hospital, Jacob had an allergic reaction at his friend's house. I have to call Mrs. Jones, and I have to pick up Grace from her play date at her apartment.''
''Hey, I can get Gracie. I am her, like, her Godfather,'' David stands, pulling his coat on, ''Just give me the address, and tell Mrs. Jones I'm coming instead of you.''
''And I'll go with you to the hospital,'' Wes begins ,''Don't worry, man, we're here for you.''
Sometimes, I don't appreciate what I have until it's gone.
But these two I definitely don't take for granted.
''Kurt,'' I quickly make my way towards him.
''Blaine!,'' he pulls me into hug, ''I'm so glad you're here. Oh. Hello, Wes.''
''Hey, Kurt,'' he hugs him quickly ,''I'm going to call David and see if he's on his way.''
''How is he,'' I question, sitting next to Kurt and shedding my heavy winter coat.
''He's fine. He's stable. Turns out he's allergic to fish, though. Still, Dr. Pinnock says that we can take him home after they monitor him. We're going to have to be really careful, Blaine. He was barely breathing and his eyes where swollen, and,'' he breathes deeply ,''These kids mean the world to me, Blaine.''
Seeing someone as strong as Kurt so vulnerable pulls at my heart strings, as does the fact that we could have lost our son today.
''Hey,'' I kiss his temple ,''It's okay. We'll get through this. We will do our research, make sure his teachers and friends' parents and the school know, and watch what we buy. You know my family means the world to me. I was terrified when you called.''
Especially when I thought of how afraid Jacob must feel.
''Right. Sorry, Blaine. I'm calm. I could only keep it together in front of him,'' my husband lays his head on my shoulder.
''Don't apologize for your emotions, Kurt. This isn't the first time we've been in the hospital for one of our kids, you know. They just love scaring us,'' I tease, trying to lighten the mood.
It must work, because Kurt lets out a breathy laugh.
''I'm starting to think you're right,'' he sighs ,''Thank you, Blaine. You amaze me, you know that?''
''Well, I am pretty awe-inspiring,'' I shrug, earning a gentle shrug from Kurt.
''I'm serious you goof. You're incredible.''
'' I feel the same way about you, so I'm glad that you think that.
After all, you do bring out the best in me.
An hour and a half later, we are still sitting in the waiting room.
Wes and David are getting coffee after having dropped Grace off with Santana.
Sometimes it's just nice to know you're friends really will do whatever it takes to help you out.
''What's taking so long,'' Kurt asks anxiously ,''Do... do you think he's okay?''
''Of course I do. Jacob is just fine.''
After all, he is a little fighter.
''Hello,'' she smiles at us ,''Good news. You can take him home. It is important, however, that you exclude foods containing or contaminated by shellfish or fish ingredients. Anaphylaxis is serious. It is lucky that you got him here when you did.''
Don't have to tell us twice.
''Thank you, Dr. Pinnock. Can we see him now,'' Kurt begs.
''Of course,'' she offers a sympathetic smile.
Kurt and I rush into the room, to find Jacob lying in bed.
''Kurt! Blaine,'' he beams, showing off where he is missing two of his teeth.
''Hey, buddy,'' I sit on his bed, pulling him into a hug.
''How do you feel, Jacob,'' Kurt takes his other side.
''Tired. And hungry.''
''Don't worry, we'll get you something to eat soon,'' I kiss his head ,''You really scared us.''
''I'm sorry,'' Jacob frowns.
''Don't be. We're just going to teach you how to take care of this, and let other people know about your allergies,'' I explain.
Because we really, really don't want to lose you.
''You're going to be okay, Jacob,'' Kurt squeezes his shoulder ,''We love you.''
''I love you, too.''
We have people to call. Everyone that knew about this was concerned, and now we have to let them know that Jacob is okay.
In a while, though. Right now, we're going to enjoy some time with our son, grateful that they were able to help him before something much worse happened.
Because some moments you just can't take for granted.
SugarPOV-
Wendy's giggles fill the apartment.
''What's so funny,'' I laugh at her, watching her squirm as I tickle her.
Rory and Finn are at the store, so I am using this oppurtunity to bond with her.
''There, that's enough,'' I press a kiss to her forehead as her laughter subsides, ''Mommy loves you.''
She puckers her lips, her signal for a kiss. I comply, pressing one ot her chubby cheek.
''I guess you love me, too. You know, I lounge on my stomach as she sits in front of me ,''You and Finn, and your dad, mean a lot to me. This whole family does.''
Ryder knows the feeling of thinkg that you have never belonged. Lucky for us, we've both settled into families that accept us as we are.
''And you, Wendy, are going to do amazing things when you grow up. Just like your grandpas, your grandma, and your dad. Your brother will, too. I don't ever want you to feel like I felt in my teen years.''
Alone, afraid, rejected, and unworthy.
''I'm going to tell you something,'' I pull her into my arms, even if she is distracted by her doll ,''Beauty is not everything, but everyone is beautiful. You are kind, beautiful, and smart. If you ever need someone to remind you, just come to me. Or anyone else in this family.''
We're more than willing to remind each other.
''Whatever you want to be... whoever you want to be, I am right here behind you. I'm going to support you.''
Just like Kurt and Blaine are always there to support me, even if my birth parents don't.
''Wendy,'' I move some hair from her forehead ,''Come on. Let's go watch television. You're not paying attention to me anyway.''
Still, you and your brother mean the world to me.
I know I'm not the best mom in the world. I do get lost in my own ambition, but never at a risk to my kids. True, I wish that Rory and I had the twins when we're older. But I love them more than life itself. They've brought so much love and happiness and laughter to our lives... This is the most incredible feeling One day, yes, we will try to have more babies. Hopefully when we're a bit older, a bit more structured, a bit wiser.
I settle Wendy on my lap, turning on the television before continuing to speak.
''I'm always here for you, Wendy. Always,'' I press a kiss to her brown hair.
Some people may wonder why I'm talking to her like this, like she understands everything that I say. It is because I see a lot of myself in her, even at her young age.
I wish I knew back then what I know now. So, I'm telling her now. Maybe she can avoid the self-deprecating feelings that didn't escape me. Maybe Finn will, too, once we talk to him.
For now, though, I'll enjoy little feet and hands, the sounds of giggles and tantrums. If I have learned one thing in the past twenty-one years, it's that life is short.
So you make the most of it while you can.
More Wes, David, and Sugar and Rory in the next chapter!
Disclaimer- glee belongs to Fox and Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.