Chapter Twenty

*Author's Note: The episodes Explosion and Miranda were both in Season Three. I do not know which was supposed to take place first only, for the sake of the story, Miranda comes before. Also, I realize that Stranger Everywhere didn't appear until Season Four. Again, for the sake of the story, let's just pretend Stranger Everywhere happens before Explosion or Miranda. When it comes to The River Monarch, it took place in Season One, so there's no problem there. Lastly, in The River Monarch, unless I missed something, nothing ever came of the relationship between Nick and Melanie. I know, probably because their relationship wasn't the focus of the episode. Anyway, for the sake of this story I've just come up with a reason.

Chapter Twenty Two

A/N: The episodes Explosion and Miranda were both in Season Three. I do not know which was supposed to take place first only, for the sake of the story, Miranda comes before. Also, I realize that Stranger Everywhere didn't appear until Season Four. Again, for the sake of the story, let's just pretend Stranger Everywhere happens before Explosion or Miranda. When it comes to The River Monarch, it took place in Season One, so there's no problem there. Lastly, in The River Monarch, unless I missed something, no reason was ever stated as to why the relationship between Nick and Melanie didn't work out. I know, probably because their relationship wasn't the focus of the episode. Anyway, for the sake of this story I've just come up with a reason.

~oOo~

Nick was sure every star in the sky had poked their heads through the black night's blanket that spread itself across the sky. He stood on the verandah wearing a light coat zippered to the top and holding a glass of whiskey in his hand. He could hear the crickets singing, along with an occasional hoot from a night owl. His gaze went from the sky to the corral where a few horses seemed to be playing with each other as they ran around inside. Over all, it appeared to be a peaceful and uneventful evening. However, if anyone had taken a closer look into Nick's eyes, they'd have seen anything but a man a peace with himself. His mind wandered back in time, from one woman to another.

"I must go home…is it any worse than deserting them?" Miranda, the Mexican rebel, as he put it, was breaking the news that she could not stay as he had asked her too. "That's exactly what I would be doing if I stayed here… a wall between us."

He'd hated it only he could see her point. His mind then turned Melanie. Of course she'd sided with her father when Tom Barkley's name had been slandered. Nick had been relieved when she'd shown up and told him what her father had confessed. He had thought it would work out between himself and Melanie only to have her tell him she was going away to a finishing school and then making her home in New York instead. Then there was Jenny, the shy Stockton dressmaker. Nick couldn't help but chuckle, as he thought how she had been able to see the humor in his foolishness, even had a way of calming him down. However, in the end, she too left, said she would only be running if she stayed. After running a few more relationships through his mind, and the circumstances ending those relationships, he turned to Michelle. He closed his eyes for a moment. He still couldn't believe his competition for Michelle's affections was his own brother. Though, try as he might, Nick could not hate Jarrod. Any man who had gone to the lengths Jarrod had to avoid hurting him deserved Nick's respect not hatred, especially when that man was Nick's blood relative. When he heard the French doors open behind him, Nick opened his eyes and turned to see his mother, who was wearing a light jacket, walking onto the veranda. If he hadn't felt it would be disrespectful, he'd have asked her to leave him alone. As it was, he turned his eyes back to the horses and took another swallow of his the whiskey he'd brought out with him.

For Victoria's part, she spoke not a word as she studied her middle son and thought on the fact that Nick had risen an hour earlier than expected and had stayed away from the house until after Jarrod and Michelle had gone to San Francisco where Jarrod would stay at his apartment while Michelle stayed with Audra and her friend. She then pondered the fact that this son hadn't returned to the house until almost nine at night; it had her as concerned for him as she'd been for Jarrod. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as another, slightly cold, breeze blew through the air.

Talk, about what? Nick asked himself as he swallowed the rest of the whiskey and set the glass on the railing that stood around the veranda. The fact that he'd courted one woman after another, the fact that no matter what he did…even slowing the pace of the courtship down and holding to a 'hands off' attitude…the relationships had always come to an end? Okay, no matter what happened with Michelle, he'd still have one of the best friends he'd ever had. Though, even knowing that didn't help the feelings of hopelessness he was experiencing. "Once, when Grandpa Barkley was visiting us, he told me that as long as you could look yourself in the mirror at night you were doing all right, didn't matter if you were with someone or by yourself." Nick shook his head and paused to look up at the stars. His mother said nothing as she patiently waited for her son to continue. Nick sighed and looked back at his mother. "It might shock people for awhile, they might say they can't see it happening…only I tell you now, it's best if I put all my efforts into this ranch, helping our neighbors and simply being a productive citizen of Stockton…if I accept the fact that I'll be looking in the mirror by myself the rest of my life if Michelle winds up with Jarrod. But don't tell either one of them I said that because I'll just deny it."

If Victoria hadn't seen the look of one who had just made up his mind, to the point of not having it changed any time soon, she wouldn't have worried about his words. She'd have just chalked it up to stress and told herself he'd be back to looking at another woman in no time flat. As it was, she felt shock waves roll over her as she realized just how serious Nick was. Maybe it wasn't right, only for the first time since Jarrod had found Michelle on their land, Victoria wondered if it would have been better if the young woman had had another option when it came to getting away from her father. Knowing it would do no good to wish for a different past, Victoria turned her efforts to convincing Nick that going to the extreme and swearing off courting women altogether was unnecessary. "To promise yourself that you'll stop trying to find a wife isn't necessary. If it doesn't work out with Michelle, someone will come along." Victoria lifted her hand and rested it on her son's arm, only to find Nick pulling backwards, and doing it with very sharp movements.

"There's every need to make myself the promise. I can't live my life on 'what if's' anymore; I need to accept what is." Nick spoke in a no, nonsense tone of voice and with a force so strong it practically knocked his mother down. "Only, like I said, if you ever repeat this conversation to anyone, I'll flat out deny it. If Michelle does not come back to me of her own free will, I do not want her at all. And," he picked up his empty glass and turned to go back into the house, "if you're wondering, if she and Jarrod get married, I will put my full support behind them. They have done nothing that would warrant any less from me." He then left his mother with an uncomfortable feeling in her gut and her heart aching for her middle son.