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"Mommy, I really don't wanna go to the park." Sakura whispered as she held our mother's hand walking towards Konoha Park. It's a big park with a bunch of trees and places to play.

"Come on, Sakura! it won't be that bad!" Mother said smiling.

"Mommy's using the park as an excuse to check out Mr. Yamanaka. We can't deprive her the right to her own to fantasize." I said.

"UMEKO! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?! AND WHO DID YOU GET THAT MOUTH OF YOUR'S FROM! CAUSE IT SURE WASN'T ME!" Mother yelled.

"Mommy, we're being stared at. And you talk very loudly, so I heard you." I said.

Mother began twitching, seeming to be restraining herself from hitting me on the top of the head.

'Wow, Sakura sure ended up like her mother in canon. But not if I can help it.' I thought.

Actually, I really didn't really plan on changing canon. Everything ends up fine anyway, so what's the point? Plus, the only time I would most likely die would be during Pein's attack, but he brings everyone back to life, so I'll be fine. I'm not worried really about the world. I'm the girl who has surpassed god, why would I need to focus on something as measly as humans? Yet, I hate to admit I was beginning to actually to care for Sakura. She was an innocent, cute girl. And really I had narrowed down what I wanted to do with her.

One of them was to take her under my wing to become a bad ass, and maybe my right hand woman when I'm on my godly throne.

Or, I could protect her innocence and beat up anyone who tried to hurt her.

Buuuuuut, the first one would involve effort. So, I decided to make sure she doesn't turn into some annoying bitch like our mother.

Having two mom's around would suck really bad...

"Umeko!"

"UMEKO! DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME!"

I looked up at our mother with an unamused look.

"What?" I asked.

Mother's eye began twitching.

"W-Watch your sister, and don't talk to strangers. I'm going to hang out with the moms." Mother said, continuing to twitch.

"Good parenting, Mommy. Leaving your two kids that are five, I might add, to defend themselves. Hopefully you don't get tried for child abandonment!" I said waving.

She gave me an angry look which I totally ignored as I walked away.

I climbed up a tree and began to nap.

'Hmph. Making me leave the house, in the middle of my nap, just to have to sleep in a tree like a peasant. I am god! I don't deserve this!' I thought laying back.

"TORAAAA! GET BACK HERE!"

"SHUT UP! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP, ASSWIPES!" I yelled at the genin passing by.

"WHO SAID THAT?!" he yelled.

I pointed at the opposite direction of the cat.

The boy ran away in that direction as the cat ran off.

"Good luck getting that damn cat back, BITCH!" I sang.

As I was dozing off I heard some annoying yelling.

"THE APOCALYPSE SURE AS HELL BE HAPPENING, IF ITS NOT I'LL KILL ALL YOU LOUD FUCKS MYSELF!" I yelled snapping my eyes open.

"FOREHEAD! FOREHEAD! LOOK AT THE UGLY FOREHEAD!" the annoying yell said.

I twitched as I realized who they were talking about.

"Time to kick some brat's ass for waking god almighty up." I said.

I jumped down from the tree and followed the yelling and sobs.

"P-Please st-stop!" Sakura cried.

"PLEASE STOP!" they mocked.

"Ahem. SHUT UP FUCKERS! ONE AND ALL! THE ALMIGHTY GOD IS HERE TO KICK ALL YOUR DAMNED LOUD BITCH ASSES INTO A GOD DAMN DELUSIONAL COMA WHERE YOU WATCH YOUR MOMS AND MAITO GAI FUCK EACH OTHER IN THE ASS!" I yelled.

The three little girls turned around and glared at me.

"Are you talking baby talk? Because I didn't understand half of what you just said. And I have a 3rd Year vocabulary." one of them said.

"Oh, really? What a fucking achievement, worm." I said raising my nose at the three girls.

"Shut up you little weird eyed three year old!" the other girl said.

"Wow, your the dumb one, aren't you? Then she's the pretty one, then this is the weird one that will possibly kill the both of you when your older. Or she'll try to get in your panties." I said.

"Wh-What?!" the girls said.

"Nothing, nothing, just doing some EPIC foreshadowing. Now, do my favor and leave my sister alone." I said.

"Oh? This thing has a sister? I'm terrified! Frankly, your as scary as blade of grass." the first girl said.

"Actually that fear is a real. It's called hastenburaphobia. A sad, sad disease. Anyway, you should really take my advice and leave her alone." I said. Don't ask how I know about hastenburaphobia.

"You don't scare me!" the second girl said.

"Yeah, I can totally take you on!" the first girl said.

"You both are about as frightening as Winnie the mother fucking Pooh." I said.

"I like Winnie the Pooh." the third girl whispered.

"Let's fight!" the first girl said.

"Hmph. Before we fight, worms. I would like to tell you where babies come from. Where you and I both come from. It's called the Birds and the Bees." I said with a smirk.

Sakura immediately covered her ears, since I've told her in the past, if you hear birds and the bees come out of my mouth, cover your ears and don't listen.

After a long detailed explanation, I left it off with, "And out of 100,000 sperm cells you were the one's that were born."

All three girls ran away screaming for their mothers.

"Hmph. Leaving mental scars beats physical scars any day. Though I'll eventually have to learn to defend myself... I can do that later." I said doing my famous procrastination, and helping the sobbing Sakura up on her feet.

"Ume!" Sakura cried hugging me.

"Yeah, yeah, get off. Your getting human juices on me..." I said trying to get out of her hug.

She wouldn't let go.

"Get off." I growled.

She was silent as she held on to me.

"God damn it, Sakura." I said simply as I sat down unmoving until mother got there.

Sorry, schools starting tomorrow for me so, I had time to write a short chapter before going to bed. So... Here it is!

And by the way, 18 followers in 2 chapters?!

That's awesome!

Anyway, as she gets older I will make her worse of a person. It's just, I like the idea of her only caring about herself and almost refusing to believe that she cares for Sakura. I bet if you asked Umeko why she defended Sakura, she'd say because she'll one day be my assistant when I rule the world.

So, with that said, I'm gonna go to sleep! Wish me luck on my first day of sophomore year in high school!

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