"Alright this book says, uppercut jab, then do push ups... About 200 of them. God, damn! That's fuckin insane bull shit! I ain't doin' dis shit! Nah uh. No way. FUCKING HELL!" I yelled as I kept looking at the martial arts book.

The book was called, "Taijutsu for Untalented Fools."

It said that even a fool that can barely read could learn to defend themselves with these book.

I was the fool that could read, but I really didn't feel like doing it so I just looked at the pictures and numbers.

"Fuck it, this shit makes me tired just looking at it." I said.

"Man, why the hell do I even wanna be a ninja? It's too much hard work and teamwork bull shit. I can barely stand my own sister because she's so fuckin' pathetic." I said as I sat down.

"Why can't I just pull a Tsunade and just use chakra infused punches?" I asked myself.

That's when a light bulb suddenly appeared over my head. Wait, this isn't an American comic book... Never mind, but you get the picture.

"Wait! Sakura naturally had perfect chakra control! I bet I got that too! Me being the one who is god of course I do! I bet I'll even have a secret Haruno kekkei genkai, then who knows maybe I'll be a full blown Mary fucking Sue!" I said.

I looked at the nearby tree.

"HAHA! CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY, TREE! YOU SHALL BE THE ONE THAT I, GOD HERSELF, SHALL CLIMB AND BE ON MY FIRST STEP TO SUPREME POWER! FIRST POWER, THEN THE WORLD!" I yelled at the tree.

'Look at that measly tree, I'll climb to the top of that one, then I'll get the biggest one in the park, IN ONE DAY!' I thought.

"LET'S GO!" I yelled running at the tree as fast as my six year old legs could take me.

I got closer and closer, jumped up, felt my feet touch the bark, then I felt my face touch the bark.

"MOTHER OF FUCKING FUCK IN THE NAME OF A MERCEDES BENZ IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ASS WITH GLITTER AND SHEA BUTTER!" I yelled holding my sore red nose.

I felt tears about to come out of my green eyes.

"Ar-Are you okay?" a young boy's voice asked.

I quickly wiped the tears out of my eyes.

"HA HA HA! YOU THINK I THE GREAT UMEKO COULD BE HURT BY A DAMN TREE! YOUR MISTAKEN, HUMAN!" I said opening my eyes to see the young boy that was talking.

Blond hair.

Blue eyes.

Whiskers.

My eyes quickly widened as I quickly slapped myself.

"Oh shit, I hit my head so hard I'm seeing shit. Man, Mom's gonna be pissed." I said.

The boy was silent.

"Hmph. Well mind, or whatever, I'm fine. So, yeah." I said awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck. Quirk I seemed to have kept from my past life.

"Well, that's good." he said shyly, looking down at his feet.

'I should probably try to be friends with him, make his childhood a little better...'

'Too much work, he'll be alright...'

I got up and grabbed my book.

"Here ya go." I said handing him the book.

"Wha-what?" he asked.

"You wanna be a ninja, right?" I asked.

He slowly nodded.

"Better get to studying so you won't be a complete loser." I said, turning around and beginning to walk away.

"Why?!" he asked.

"DON'T QUESTION ME! FEEL LUCKY THAT I, GOD HERSELF, CHOOSE TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU, LOW CLASS RUNT!" I yelled.

I gave him a smirk before continuing to walk away.

'Wait a second...'

"I FUCKING GAVE HIM MY ONLY TAIJUTSU BOOK!" I yelled.

"Well, now I did something nice, so whenever he becomes Hokage or something maybe he'll pay me back with money or something... That will be the day..." I muttered daydreaming about swimming in money. Buckets of money, pools of money.

Buying everything!

Dango!

TV!

Maybe publish Batman or something!

Or better yet, Attack on Titan this shit!

Make the Attack on Titan a book in this world, then make even MORE MONEY!

Yes, who knows, maybe whenever I take over the world as it's god, maybe I'll make him my direct underling. After Sakura of course." I said.

I smirked thinking about the future.

"I know why I wanna be a ninja now. It's all clear to me to me now! So I can become a Jonin, and go on S-Rank missions, and... MAKE MORE MONEY! AND HAVE ACCESS TO HUGE JUTSU, PLUS I'LL BE SO BADASS THAT I'LL GET MY OWN TITLE! BEFORE THEY ALL BOW TO ME AND CALL ME GOD, THEY SHALL CALL ME BAMFF! BAD ASS MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER! Okay, not really, that name really sucks. BUT I HAVE INITIATIVE! Now, I need to go ask Mom for money so I can buy more books." I said getting louder and softer.

"And dango... I have a huge craving for it... But I don't have my period yet... That's fuckin' weird. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

"Ume! Ume!" Sakura yelled as I got home from training a few days after my encounter with Naruto.

"What is it, Sakura?" I asked.

"M-Mommy said that you can join the Academy!" Sakura said with a smile.

"M-Me? What about you, Sakura?" I asked.

"I don't know, I'm not really that strong. And I doubt the kids will like me." Sakura whispered looking down at her shuffling feet.

'Damn it, she's the older sister physically, do I really have to give her a pep talk? She HAS to go, since I don't wanna be on the shit storm Team 7. She has to do it.' I thought.

"Well, Sakura, people are all as-er-jerks when they don't respect you. They think they can walk all over you, use you for their own reasons, treat you like scum, garbage, as if you are only equal to dirt in this world. Worthless. But when your a ninja, and your powerful, people will respect you. They won't dare be mean to you out of sheer fear or respect. And if they do disrespect you, you don't have to worry about not being able to defend yourself. You don't have to run. You can kick their butts right there and they won't step out of line with you again. And if they do, their doing it out of sheer stupidity and you can kick their butt over and over and over again. So, just think about it. The first day of school's in a few days, Sakura. You'll do great." I said squeezing her shoulder and giving her a smile.

She slightly blushed and widened her eyes.

I walked in the house slightly gagging.

'God damn, that was terrible. Man, that bullshit coming out of my mouth was mostly from something I'd hear in an anime, them I just got into it. Damn, I hate these motivational speeches and shit. But if I know the Ninjaverse, I'm gonna be hearing and giving a lot of bull shit speeches. Damn, why couldn't be in an anime about violence and gore and not friendship. I'd taken fuckin' Future Diary or Attack on Titan over this! Well, maybe not Attack on Titan. Them titans are ugly. I can't be in an ugly body if with my godly soul. Bitch, my soul is too perfect to be in a Titan!'

Just got home from the second day of school and began typing, aaaaand, I'm tired. So I need to take a nice little siesta, and maybe I'll do a double update today!

And, 25 followers, with three chapters out?!

That's crazy!

And 7 Reviews, seriously, thank you guys!

It's really cool that you guys are liking my story. And I think I'll reply to all of the Reviews up until now right down here, okay?

Himeno Kazehito: Wow, you're awesome! You always review no matter what I'm writing and it seriously means a lot that you always do your best to review! Thank you so, so much!

Umeko: Thanks for commenting on my superior enjoyableness. Yes, yes that is a word. But god damn it, I'm fuckin' amazing, you don't have to tell me that. But the shriveled up heart of mine sure loves to here a good compliment sometimes.

Guest (I don't know which Guest is who, so the guest that reviewed in chapter 2): I updated XD Thanks for leaving a review, it's really cool you did that, ^-^

easilyaddictedgirl: I THE ALMIGHTY, BAKA-CHAN, GIVES YOU CHAPTER 4!

Umeko: OI, BAKA-CHAN! DON'T STEAL MY THING YA DIRTY HOITY TOITY FUCKIN' BITCH ASS-ahem. Sorry 'bout that. Well, not really, but ANYWAY! Damn right I'm funny as hell! I'm hilarious and you'll quote everything I say up in this bitch! Hell someone should make a bible out of me! It shall be called... UMEKO! HELL YEAH! I should have Sakura do that when she's my assistant...

lolololololo: XD I love your review! It's the first time someone's called me a bitch in the reviews! But, I'm the coolest bitch you'll ever meet. Well, I don't know... I haven't met many cool bitches... And I solemnly swear not to be a good bitch, mmkay? XD I kid, I kid! Your review was hilarious, and I appreciate it!

Umeko: I'm coolest bitch you'll ever meet, and I think everyone here knows that.

Guest (The one that reviewed Chapter 3): Thanks! I certainly try to make it kick ass! ^-^

Umeko: I make it kick ass, Baka-chan. Don't forget to tell yourself that every time someone reviews! Their here for me, their god! Well, unless you worship Jashin or Kira or Madoka or Akito or Lady Goddess of the Land or the green Kami or Goku or Arceus...

ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed. And every review will be replied with an additional reply from Umeko, whether you want her to or not.

Because, I'm trying to be unique here, I guess... ^-^

Thanks for reading, and hope to see your review!

Umeko: Question of the Day, what do you think would be a good theme song for me? Include Baka-chan too if you can, cause she's pouting at me... STOP LOOKING AT ME AUTHOR WOMAN!

*LINKS TO ART ON MY PROFILE*