SugarPOV-

It's the middle of April when my dad is discharged from hospital, with a warning to watch his diet. I haven't seen him since Rory and I visited him last month, and he spent most of that time asleep since his girlfriend wouldn't let me wake him up.

I can't stand her.

Despite her obvious displeasure, I am spending the afternoon with my dad.

''Coming,'' I hear her yell, and she winces at the sight of me ,''What are you doing here?''

Keep your cool. Don't let her get to you.

''I came to see my dad,'' I hold up the thermos, ''I brought him chicken noodle soup.''

''Were you even listening to the doctor,'' she scoffs, ''he said-''

''Dr. Day said that homemade food was best. This is fine. Now, you're going to step aside, let me in, and let me see my dad,'' I glare at her, ''Because I am still his daughter. Then, I am going to go back to work.''

And away from you, and all of your negativity.

''Fine,'' she grimaces, ''Tell your dad I'm going out. You know, Sugar, I can't stand to be in the same place as you. I bet you're going to run crying to your dad now.''

Hell no.

I don't understand. Brody married someone, and she absolutely loves Blair, despite the fact that Brody didn't even raise her. So why doesn't this woman accept the fact that I want to see my dad?

''No. I can take care of myself. Just so we are clear, I don't like you either. The feeling is completely mutual. If you love my dad as much as you claim, you will try to get along with me the way that I have been trying with you.''

As hard as that may be for both of us.

''Whatever,'' she dismisses me easily because, yes, she knows I am right, ''Tell your dad what I said.''

''Will do,'' I watch her glide out of the house, rolling my eyes.

My dad is sitting on the couch when I reach the den, watching television. His hair is grey, just like the blanket draped across him. Wow. I've always seen my dad as this big strong person.

Now, he looks as vulnerable as I felt when he was in the hospital.

''Dad,'' I knock on the doorframe.

''Sugar,'' he mutes the television, patting the spot next to him,'' Come. Sit.''

Hesitantly, I join him, setting the thermos on the wooden coffee table.

''How do you feel?''

''Good,'' he nods towards the container, ''What's that?''

''Chicken noodle soup. I used grandma's recipe,'' I explain, ''I'll get a bowl and a spoon.''

''Get some for yourself too, Sugar. I can't eat this all by myself,'' he laughs.

I busy myself, dreading going back in there. When my dad and I are alone, things quickly take a turn for the worse.

There is no way to stop the inevitable.

''That was good,'' I watch him wipe his mouth afterwards, ''You really can cook.''

''Actually, Rory did most of the work. He is a much better cook than I am,'' I shrug, unembarrassed, ''I got lucky.''

I found someone so helpful and loving and grateful to me, and I have to give him more credit than I do.

''We've been sitting in silence for half an hour. Sugar, what's going on?''

Here we go. Just let it all out. Honesty is key here.

''When I found out you were in the hospital, I was so afraid, dad. I needed you, and you needed me, I couldn't get to you, though. Because your girlfriend wouldn't let me.''

''She thought it was for the best,'' he defends her.

She was being a cold hearted bitch.

No. Don't say that outloud.

''This experience made me realize how fragile life can be,'' I continue, changing topics, ''I don't want to add any stress, I want relationship with you. The only thing is…. I can't have that if your girlfriend is here.''

She'll rip me to shreds with her words at the first glimpse of a weak area in my defense.

''You can't be asking me to choose between you and her, Sugar,'' he shakes his head, ''That isn't fair. She… she gets me. In ways that you, or your mom, couldn't.''

You're right, dad. I don't understand. Because I thought I took priority over her.

My mistake.

''Dad, I love you. I do. We just don't understand each other that well. But… I guess you don't really need me right now. I suppose we really should take some time apart. Because I am just getting my self-confidence now, and would like to be in a better place before we attempt to fix this,'' I stand, ''I'm not cutting myself off completely. You can still see me and the kids, I will still visit on holidays. Other than that, you have to initiate any interaction. This isn't fair to me.''

He nods, staring at the floral pattern in the rug, ''I'm sorry, Sugar. I do love you.''

I know. You just have your own messed up way of showing it.

''I love you, too,'' I take my purse, kissing my dad's cheek, ''Hopefully I will see you soon.''

It's odd, I realize as I get back into my car. I should feel awful. My dad and I may have just permanently altered this for the worse. Looking back,I realize how envious I have been of the way that Blair and Blaine interact with each other.

Now, I realize that, for a long time, he was all she had. Losing her mom so young and having no other family to go to, Blair needed Blaine.

I needed my dad, but not to that extent. Finally, I know my worth. I know that everything he thinks about me is wrong. Unlike Blaine and his dad, there is no fixing this. And that's okay. I tried my best. A huge, overbearing weight has finally been lifted from my shoulders.

''Hello,'' Rory answers as soon as I call him, ''How'd it go?''

''I don't want to talk about it. I just… I needed to hear your voice,'' I admit, ignoring the crack in my voice. Surprisingly, it's not from feeling weak or scared or hurt or mad.

For the first time ever, I can really, actually breathe.

And I've got to say, I love the feeling.

BlairPOV-

''I have to get up,'' I giggle when Ryder's hand moves to the zipper of my dress, ''As much as I'm enjoying this, I have a family dinner tonight.''

The first one that the Anderson-Hummel's have had in a while.

''Five more minutes of making out, please?,'' Ryder presses heated kisses to my neck, weakening my resolve to leave.

''A few more minutes of kissing always lead to something more, Ryder,'' I remind him, sitting up, ''And we both know that we don't have any protection. We really can't afford a baby right now.''

''Right,'' he rubs my leg, ''You look great, by the way.''

''Thanks…. you're acting weird, you know. As in more so than usual. So… what's going on.''

He hesitates, running a hand through his hair.

''So...you were looking up ways to wonder if you're ready to get married?''

Man, I really should learn to exit out before I let Ryder use my computer.

''I don't know what to tell you.''

He groans, leaning his forehead against mine.

''I can't tell you what to do. I can just give you my opinion. There is something deeper going on here, and I would appreciate knowing. Whenever you're ready to tell me, I'll be ready to listen,'' he leans back against the bed as I stand up, ''Ready to remind you that you're smart enough, talented enough, and are always beautiful, if that's what any of this is about.''

''You say that because we're engaged,'' I insist.

''I say that because it's one hundred percent true. Because I love you. I… I know I've been a little bit more physical with the intimacy lately. But this relationship has never been about sex. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but… I love you more. Nothing wrong with something casual, but If I just wanted sex, I would go find it.''

Damn it. He knows.

'My vocal teacher made an innocent comment about us getting married so young after noticing the ring. Which led to me thinking of my own insecurities, which led to me thinking of how much you… you must resent being with me.''

The look on his face is absolutely heartbreaking, forcing me to look away.

''Why on earth would I resent us?''

''Come on, Ryder. Did you really want to be a dad this early? Don't you wish you could have had your full college experience? The only reason you came back is for me. That's what you said,'' I fold my arms across my chest, looking down, ''I love Noah, and I love you. I love my life, but...this is less than ideal, isn't it?''

Yet, somehow, I don't want to change a thing.

''So what you're getting at is that you're not happy,'' Ryder concludes, ''And that now is the best time to tell me.''

''That's not what I'm saying!,'' I groan, ''You're not hearing me.''

''Well, I'm sorry if it concerns me that my fiancee' has been acting strange, and then comes to me with this,'' he shrugs, standing up and crossing the room, ''You don't really talk to me anymore.''

''How can I, Ryder? We are on completely warped schedules now. I barely see you anymore,'' I snap.

''Don't make this turn into another issue, Blair! You're the one that's just going along with the way our life is moving forward. I think… I know you love Noah. The real issue, I'm assuming, is me. That I'm the 'ball and chain' tying you down, ready for life-long commitment, and you don't want any of that yet.''

That's not it. That's not it all.

''Ryder, I love you. It's just,'' I try to explain, but I don't know how to put my feelings into words right now.

''Yeah, I know you do. And I love you, too. God, I love you, Blair. But I love Noah, and enough not to let him have to grow up with the both of us fighting all the time. That is exactly what is going to happen if we're together and you don't want us to be. Look, maybe you should go. I don't want to get into a fight now, alright?''

He presses a kiss to my forehead, helping me with my coat, ''We can talk when you get home. Like the adults we are.''

''I-''

''You're late already. I think spending some time part will keep both of us from saying things that we do not mean, and can't take back.''

''Alright,'' I sigh. He is right, after all, ''I'll see you later. I'll try to be back before you go to bed. I love you.''

That's the one thing I have no problem telling you these days.

''Love you, too.''

Okay, so maybe I should do the mature thing here. Sit down, tell him that he is really what I want, and I do love my life. That I know he loves what we have, and is ready for marriage just like I am.

There's no way to discuss this with him without revealing what's really going on with me.

Unfortunately, I haven't even admitted to myself yet.

KPOV-

''Grace, eat your broccoli,'' Blaine nods towards the vegetables still on her plates, ''Or you don't get any dessert.''

''But it's yucky,'' she whines.

''No, it's good!,'' Blaine picks up one with his fork, taking a bite, ''See? Papa likes it.''

''You can have my veggies, papa,'' Grace pushes her plate towards them.

We've been through this with her and Liam before. He's gotten over it,if only for the sake of being able to have dessert. Grace, on the other hand, simply refuses.

She definitely gets that stubbornness from Blair and Ryder.

''Grace Elizabeth, listen to your papa. Eat the rest of your vegetables,'' I give her a warning glare.

''Come on,'' Blair cuts some up for her, ''Listen to your dads. If you want to be a dancer, then you have to eat healthily.''

Reluctantly, she does as she is told, chewing carefully.

''So,'' Rory wipes his mouth, ''It's been a while since we have all been together.''

''It has been,'' I nod.

Too long, actually.

''Why are we having dinner in the middle of the week,'' Jade questions, ''Are we moving?''

''I don't wanna a move,'' Jacob looks like he might cry.

''Alright, alright, calm down. Yes, we have gathered you here to tell you all something,'' Blaine begins.

I can see the look that Rory and Blair share, negative thoughts coursing through the both of them most likely.

Might as well put just tell them, before their minds jump to the divorce that Blaine and i aren't getting.

''We are going to have another baby.''

Silence settles around, before Jade squeals.

''You're adopting?!,'' she beams.

''No,'' I clarify, ''We are going to hire a surrogate. It may take months to find someone, but we thought that, as our children, you should know before we actually do anything.''

''Well,'' Rory begins, ''I'm happy for you. You guys are the best parents anyone could ask for.''

''And we will all do our part to help out,'' Jacob continues.

''When is the baby coming,'' Grace questions.

To better prepare her, we discussed how her friend was handling the birth of a baby brother, and how she'd feel.

''It's going to be a while, sweetie,'' I look over at my other daughters, ''What do you two think?''

''I think it's a fantastic idea,'' Blair smiles.

''Me, too. I like babies, and I can help out.''

Well. If they're not happy about it, they're doing an excellent idea of hiding it.

''What about you, Jacob,'' Blaine asks our youngest son, ''What's your verdict?''

''Are you still going to love us?''

Wow. That's pretty heavy.

''Of course,'' Blaine looks hurt, ''We are still going to love all of you the same. Nothing could ever change that.''

''It's just that the baby needs more help, because they can't do anything for themselves. So we are all going to have to pitch in,'' I stress, ''Can we all agree to that.''

The six of them nod back, and I feel myself calm down.

Even if it's only temporary, because we'll probably have to have this conversation again.

''You know, I don't say this enough, but thank you,'' Rory speaks, placing his dry towel on counter.

''For what,'' I put the last plate away.

''After my biological parents died, I didn't know what was going to happen to me. I know I was only in foster care a short while, but I didn't know if I'd ever be in one place for very long. It all happened so quickly, too. Because, soon, I was placed with you,'' he smiles.

''And I hope you know that was one of the best days of my life,'' I honestly reply, ''You know you and your brothers and sisters mean so, so much to me.''

''We know,'' he looks at the ground, before up at me, ''We know that with you and Blaine having such hectic schedules, it'll be tough to manage. I know Blair, Liam, and I will have heavy workloads, too, seeing as two of us are in college and he's getting ready to go off after the next school year. Still, we're here to help.''

I know. I don't doubt that.

''We may not always get along, and there may be days where we just drive each other crazy. This is what family is supposed to do, though: we help eachother out, no matter how hard it is.''

''Always,'' Rory pushes himself off of the counter, ''Just so you know, I've learned a lot about being a good dad from you. I know I'm not perfect, and raising kids isn't easy, but I'm trying to be a good dad. I just can't be the best dad.''

''What are you talking about, Rory Hummel? You and Sugar do everything you can for those kids,'' I respond, ''Don't bring yourself down.''

I was there. I don't ever want you to go through the self-hatred that I put myself through for so, so long.

Thank goodness for Blaine, and my new-found sense of self worth.

''I mean I can't be the best, because I was already raised by the best,'' he raises an eyebrow.

As a parent, I've always doubted myself. Most of my fear stems from knowing that I will never compare to my dad. I guess that was wrong on my part. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. All we can really do is try our best.

''Come here,'' I hug my son, ''That means a lot coming from you. You are the reason I became a dad after all.''

Then, you hope that it is enough.

''I love you, dad. No matter how old I get, I am always going look up to you.''

It's the one thing we all hope for.

''I love you, too, Rory.''

When it finally is, it's the most satisfying feeling in this world.

BPOV-

''This is my favorite song. It's called Defying Gravity, from the musical Wicked. Dad used to sing it to me all the time.''

I'm outside of Grace's room, the door cracked open.

While Kurt cleaned the kitchen, I helped Liam and Jade finish their homework, and Rory got Jacob ready for bed while Blair took care of Grace.

''Really?''

''Mhm,'' I can see her moving light brown curls off of Grace's head, ''Ready?''

Gracie nods excitedly, looking up at her with complete adoration in her green eyes.

By the time Blair is finished, Grace is fast asleep.

''Night, honey,'' Blair kisses Grace's hair, ''I love you.''

She exits the room quietly, jumping when she sees me.

''Sorry,'' I bite back a smirk, ''You know that's one of my favorite songs. I had to stop and listen.''

''Right,'' she rolls her eyes, ''I think I'm going to head home.''

''Can I talk to you first? You didn't quite seem yourself at dinner. You didn't eat a lot. Blair, is something going on,'' I tread lightly, ''We… you know we just want you to be healthy, right?''

No one wants you to destroy yourself again. It may be something you can't come back from next time.

''I'm fine,'' she runs a hand through her hair, obviously lying.

''Don't lie to me, Blair,'' I sigh ,''You're terrible at it, anyway.''

She crosses her arms, seeming to fold in on herself, ''You know the reason I was afraid you and Kurt were going to get divorce, like, a week after your wedding? Because it feels like the good things don't last long for me. I bring everybody around me down. You gave up nights out and dates and money for me by taking me in, and I owe you more than I can ever repay you. I wasn't going to mess that up for you, now that you finally found someone that you loved enough to want to spend the rest of your life. Not to mention how jaded I was about love. In six months, I am going to be marrying this man who loves me and our son, and treats me right and accepts the things that others don't. Who makes me feel fine with my body and weight, and will defend me when I can't do that for myself. If I do something to mess that up, like I've helped messed up our relationship before, well…. then I don't think I can handle that.''

She looks so broken. Sometimes I forget that just because she and Rory have grown up and moved out, doesn't mean they don't need help sometimes.

Rory still has nightmares from being bullied, but he always comes to Kurt or I when he can no longer handle it. So why doesn't she?

''Blair, I'm your dad. You know you mean the world to me. I don't think I gave anything up, I just did what I had to so that you could have the best that I could give you. Honey, it's normal to be nervous. You love Ryder, don't you?''

''Absolutely,'' she almost looks offended that I even asked.

''He loves you, too. Trust me. You are more than good enough, and you have not ruined anything for anyone. A lot of things have tried to ruin you, but you won't let them. You're stronger than you think you are,'' I pull her in for a hug, ''But you have got to talk to someone, alright?''

She nods against my shoulder, ''NYADA offers free counseling. I think… I think I should go. I'm so tired of doubting myself and my future.''

''Good. We're right here for you, you know,'' I tell her.

That's the one thing I promise you.

''I know,'' she looks up with a genuine grin, ''You're the best dad, you know?''

I try.

''Thank you,'' I kiss her head, ''You've helped me out a lot along the way.''

And that has made things a little easier, and a lot better for me.

''The kids are asleep, my lesson plan is finished, the setlist for nationals is made, you're done with your designs, so can we please go to sleep?''

''Not yet,'' Kurt says, ignoring my groan, ''We have to talk.''

''About what, honey,'' I lean back, focusing all of my attention on my husband.

''I think we should take Liam to talk to someone. He's been having more mood swings lately. Jade and Jacob handle things in their own way, and they're fine afterwards. With Liam though...''

''I know. I see it, too. We should find out if something is happening before it gets worse,'' I nod in agreement.

We didn't do that with Rory, or Blair, and are determined not to make the mistake again.

''I just, I want to help them. I love those kids so much,'' Kurt confesses with a fond smile.

''I know you do. I do, too. And, too, think: We're ready to expand our family.''

''Seven kids,'' Kurt sighs, closing his eyes, ''Seven loving, beautiful, smart, amazing kids. I never thought I'd have that many, but this is nice. At least we are doing this together.''

''Like we do just about everything,'' I finish, taking his hand, entwining pale fingers with my tanner ones, ''I love you.''

''I love you, too.''

We'll have to get into a routine of dirty diapers, late nights, and messy clothes. With five kids in the apartment. We'll have to rework our budget again, despite Kurt making more than enough for the both of us. We'll both have to decide who stays home with the baby until he or she can start daycare.

That can all wait. Right now, it's time to fall asleep next to this man who- surprisingly- agreed to spend the rest of life with me.

Tomorrow, we can figure out how to deal with the direction said life is currently leading us in.

The next chapter features a bit of a time jump. Good news for Klaine, they spend time with the kids, and good news for Rory, Sugar, Blair and Ryder.

Disclaimer- glee belongs to Fox and Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk