A/N- thank you for the reviews! They are a great motivation :o)

This chapter's a little longer...but what the heck...it's the weekend!

"Hey," Chandler answered awkwardly.

"Can we talk?" Kathy asked, her eyes wide and honest.

He didn't want to, really didn't want to but knew he owed her that much. He guessed talking to her would also be the final step in getting complete closure with the situation and that he really did want.

"Sure," he gestured his head towards the coffee house, not wanting her in his apartment; that would be too much.

Following her in, he gestured to a table of two by the window. It would have felt wrong having this inevitable conversation on the usual couch. Shucking off their coats they settled into their seats as Gunther came over and took their orders. Chandler was grateful for the quick service, although it didn't stop him feeling any less awkward and uncomfortable. He hated these types of conversation at the best of times.

How was it though, that only yesterday he'd had the most honest grown up conversation he'd ever had in his entire adult life, and that hadn't felt half as awkward. This should be easy in comparison but then he supposed this was the opposite conversation to the one him and Monica shared. Instead of confessing his love he was going to be confessing to not having romantic feelings.

He could feel her studying him and swallowed, deciding he had to get this over and done with. Like a Band-Aid, quick and painless, "so…." He hesitated unsure what to say next; maybe not quite as quick as a Band-Aid but at least it was a start.

"So," Kathy picked up, "I, uh, I guess you heard about me and Joey breaking up?"

She was straight to the point and he winced.

"Yeh, uh, I did, sorry…."

"Don't be, he's a great guy but I couldn't see it going anywhere."

Chandler simply nodded; he hadn't been able to imagine the two of them long term either.

"The reason I wanted to speak with you is because I, uh, well I felt something towards you and I kinda thought you did too…"

He winced, struggling to find the right words, "I-"

"I know I didn't imagine it," she said quietly looking down at the table.

He sighed, "you didn't," he confessed. "I liked you," he hoped using past tense would help drop a subtle hint, "but it was for the wrong reasons. My head wasn't in the right place and I'm sorry if you interpreted that as more."

She raised her eyes looking at him, holding his gaze for a moment.

"There's someone else isn't there?" Her tone made it more a statement than a question.

He nodded, "I'm sorry you got caught up in this," he said sincerely.

"It's Monica right?"

He closed his eyes. How had this gone from the world's best-kept secret, to public knowledge? He decided just to nod.

"I thought so," she admitted, "when I saw her go into your bedroom I knew, you know? But I just wanted to make sure. I'd really kick myself if I had just made an assumption and threw this opportunity away."

He nodded in understanding, his face apologetic.

"So you're definitely taken?" she prodded. "It's not like me and Joey were?"

"I'm taken," he confirmed.

He didn't know for sure either way but he knew he didn't want her to get her hopes up or wait for him. Looking at her he realized how much of his initial feelings of 'love' had disappeared now that he wasn't desperately trying to get over Monica. Kathy was a great woman and maybe in a different time or place they would have worked, really made a go of it but not in this universe; not whilst Monica existed.

"Ok," she puffed out a breath, slightly embarrassed. "I had to try."

"I understand," he promised offering a hint of a smile.

"She's a lucky woman," she commented standing up.

He didn't agree or disagree. He just stood up, mirroring her.

"Well, take care of yourself, I guess," she stepped towards him, a little closer than he'd like but he stood his ground curious.

"You too," he offered, feeling very uncomfortable. Should he hug her? Shake hands?

"Can I kiss you?" she asked surprising him. "Just to see?"

The irony of Kathy using the same words as Monica had this morning wasn't lost on him. With Monica he'd desperately wanted her to kiss him, unable to resist her…but he didn't have that desire with Kathy. He didn't want to kiss her.

"I-I don't think that would be a good idea," he stated, this time taking a step back. The last lips on his had been Monica's and he didn't want that to ever change.

She nodded in disappointment, her hand coming out and caressing his arm softly, "Ok, I get that. See ya around Chandler."

"You too," he agreed watching her leave the coffee house.

He'd done it. Had drawn the line under the whole Kathy-incident. Letting out a large breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding he scrubbed a hand through his hair and looked over to the couch to see if it was still free, tempted to move over to it when he noticed two pairs of eyes on him.

Crap.

Phoebe and Rachel sat very interested on the orange couch and with a heavy sigh he grabbed his coffee and headed over to them. It was going to be one of those days.

"What were you doing with Kathy?" Rachel asked, a hard edge to her voice which he understood. It was nice that she was so loyal to Monica.

"She bumped into me," he sighed collapsing heavily into the armchair, "she wanted to talk…about stuff."

"And what did you tell her?" Rachel persisted.

"That I wasn't interested," he shot an uncertain look to Phoebe, not wanting to reveal too much.

"I know all about it," Phoebe commented casually, to which he rolled his eyes.

"How?" he almost whined.

"Friends talk," she pointed out, "and don't forget my psychic abilities."

"Oh, of course not," he muttered sarcastically.

"So how did she take it?" Phoebe asked, her psychic abilities obviously conveniently turned off, "it looked quite intense."

"It's never the easiest conversation," he admitted, "but it's for the best. She'd already guessed about Monica anyhow."

"Monica?" Phoebe asked surprised. "What's it got to do with her?"

Wide-eyed, he looked quickly to Rachel then back to her, "you said you knew!"

"About Joey and Kathy breaking up and the whole crush thing," she clarified, "What's going on with you and Monica? What does Kathy know?"

He sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head against the back of his chair. 6 out of 6 and this time he had no one to blame but himself.

"You wanna do the honors, Rach?" he muttered, slowly standing up, "I'm gonna head upstairs."

"Sure," she agreed eagerly, loving this sort of gossip; it was her specialty.

He started to head towards the door, "oh," he turned back to them, "you got a girl night tonight?"

"Yep," Rachel nodded eagerly, "cocktails, movies and lots of girly talk."

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked, "talk encouragingly about me. Emphasize any good things you can think of and not just point out my many flaws?"

"What's it worth?" Rachel challenged.

"Whatever you want," he answered honestly.

"I was kidding, Chandler," she promised. "Now hurry up and leave so we can talk about you."

Simply nodding and accepting the inevitable he waved them goodbye over his shoulder as he followed Rachel's request.

"You could do a lot worse than Chandler," Phoebe pointed out to her friend as she slumped on the couch, a brightly-colored cocktail in hand. "He's a sweet guy, a little needy at times, but sweet."

"And he's cute," Rachel pointed out, remembering her promise to him.

"I know," Monica smiled, he was cute and sweet. She knew that. "It's not about that, it's about whether it's worth the risk. We've been so close for so long…I couldn't stand the idea of losing that."

Rachel glanced at Phoebe before looking back to her roommate, "so you do actually like him that way?"

"Oh yeah," Monica grinned, taking a sip of her third margarita, "and after those kisses-phew!"

"Really?" Phoebe asked excitedly, "he's a good kisser?"

"Uh huh!" Monica confessed, "it was easily the best first kiss I've ever had; possibly the best kiss I've ever had. I thought it might be awkward or clumsy but god, it was so passionate and just mmmm," she sighed dreamily. "And you know what's weird? It wasn't weird. I was kissing Chandler and it wasn't weird. Isn't that weird?"

"So you felt that spark?" Rachel questioned, side-stepping the weird question altogether.

"Uh huh, sparks, fireworks, chemistry, electricity – we had it all."

"Wow," Rachel mused, slightly jealous, "you know I remember my first kiss with Ross. It was so passionate and exciting standing out in the rain…but then look how that ended." She sighed realizing her glass was empty, both literately and figuratively, so she got up and headed to the kitchen. "Drink up girls, I'll make another batch."

"What if what happened to you and Ross happens to me and Chandler?" she asked.

"I don't think it will," Phoebe said confidently, "you guys are very different couples. I mean when Janice cheated on him, Chandler wanted her back so badly he forgave her, begged her to stay and kept her shoe! I can't see him ever having a one-night stand after a fight." She chose her words carefully, hoping to not bring up the whole 'we were on a break' situation or hurt Rachel.

"She's right," Rachel mused coming back with a full jug and topped up all their drinks, "Chandler and Ross are different people. Both geeks, but at least Chandler hasn't got any dinosaurs in his bedroom."

"No, he doesn't," Monica agreed, remembering just how much she'd enjoyed sleeping there the night before. Sleeping beside him in his bed had seemed so natural, liked she belonged there. She'd felt at home in his room, it just breathed Chandler and she liked that. "But what if we take the risk and something happens? I don't know if I'd be able to forgive myself if we ruined our friendship."

"Could you forgive yourself if you don't risk it?" Rachel asked looking at her roommate, she'd been in a similar situation a couple of years ago and could understand her dilemma, so wanted to try a different tactic.

"What'd ya mean?" Monica frowned.

"Say you decide not to risk it and stay friends. Could you forgive yourself when he starts dating other women or Kathy and you know that you had the chance for that to be you? As years go by and he marries, has children, moves out of the city could you forgive yourself for wimping out?"

"I hadn't thought of that," she admitted, taking a large mouthful of alcohol. "I don't want him to see other women, especially not Kathy."

"If it's not Kathy it will be Jessica or Hayley or Yvonne or any other woman, there's plenty of women out there that would want Chandler," Phoebe pointed out. "You can't have it both ways. You either get together with him or you have to let him go and he's crazy about Monica. If you decide against him you'll make both of you miserable and do you honestly think you'll be able to go back to being close friends with this rejection hanging in the air?"

"I dunno, hopefully, eventually," she sighed her fingers playing with the glass.

Her friends made valid points. She knew she wanted to be with him but she was scared to take that step but Rachel was right. Surely she risked even more if she tried to ignore this and keep their friendship at the same level…

Monica was drunk.

Waaay too much alcohol.

"Are we watching this in English?" Rachel frowned at the television set, "it sounds funny."

Monica and Phoebe concentrated at the screen and listened to the voices.

"Sounds Spanish," Phoebe commented, "or maybe Chinese."

Monica scoffed, knowing if Chandler was here he'd have a funny comment to make. She sighed, why wasn't he here?

"You ok, Monica?"

"I miss Chandler."

"What?" Rachel laughed, "He's only across the hall."

"I know," she whined.

"You loooove him," Phoebe laughed.

"I know," she whined again. She did love him that was no longer in question.

"Why don't you go over there?" Phoebe suggested.

"It's late," Rachel warned squinting at the clock, "it's past 2am. He'll probably not appreciate seeing you."

"Of course he would," Phoebe dismissed, "he looooves her too. I bet he's waiting up for you, secretly hoping you'll come over."

"I promised I would go over," Monica told them. "I said I'd go round after you left."

"I'm sleeping on your couch," Phoebe pointed out. "I don't think I could make it home right now, so you might as well go see him now, if you want to."

"I really want to," she sighed, "and I wanna kiss him again and stay in his bed."

"Just don't throw up in his bed," Rachel advised.

"Ooh, can I have your bed?" Phoebe asked, knowing it would be a lot comfier than the couch. "I promise I will definitely not be sick in it. I never get sick from alcohol."

"Ok," Monica shrugged easily, "but only if I get to stay with Chandler."

"You will," Phoebe laughed, knowing there was no way Chandler would deny their friend anything. "Now go! Go tell him you love him and get all mushy."

"Ok," Monica nodded, swaying slightly as she stood, "opps."

"Have fun," Rachel called as she watched Monica stagger to the door. Thank god she didn't have far to go.

Monica made it through the first door with relative ease and came to stand in front of number 19. She blinked trying to get it in focus before reaching for the handle. She missed it on the first attempt and giggled slightly before managing to grip it and push the door open.

Chandler was alone in the living room, sat in his canoe, the duck and chick next to him. God, he looked cute. How had she not noticed before?

"Hey," he greeted softly, a beautiful smile spreading across his face, "I was starting to wonder if you'd changed your mind. How was girls' night?"

"Good," she hiccupped slightly as she moved forward trying to look as sober as possible. It didn't work.

"Are you drunk?" he laughed, standing up and approaching her.

"Noooo!" she dismissed with her trademark catchphrase.

He just shot her a look.

"Maybe," she whispered trying to hold a finger to her lips, she missed, hitting her nose.

Chandler just tried not to laugh. It had been a while since he'd seen drunk Monica. He just hoped she'd drunk for fun and not because she was finding this situation between them too stressful.

"How about we get you some tasty water?" Chandler suggested, moving away from her and over to the sink. "There's leftover pizza if you've got the munchies, just don't tell Joey you ate it, or that I offered it; he'd never forgive either of us."

"You are amazing!" she declared.

"I try," he quipped handing her the glass. Making sure she had it, he rummaged in the fridge and pulled out the leftover slices.

Monica took some large mouthfuls before handing him back the glass. He placed it safely on the counter and when he turned back he had an armful of Monica. He liked it.

"You ok?" he grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her petite body against his.

"I missed you."

His eyebrows shot up, both very surprised and very happy at the same time, "really?"

"Oh yeah," she said somewhat seductively leaning forward.

Chandler could smell the alcohol on her breath and knew he shouldn't take advantage of her in anyway but as she pressed her lips to his, he couldn't help but kiss back. A few kisses couldn't hurt, he hoped.

Eventually they pulled away and Monica's unfocussed eyes sparkled back at him.

"Wanna make love?" she slurred.

"With you? Sure?" he said easily. "Tonight when you're drunk? Nah."

She pouted.

"How about," he counter-offered, pecking her lips "we cuddle instead and I'll hold your hair back later if required?"

She smiled and giggled, hugging him closer, resting her head against him. "Sweet deal," she murmured happily against his chest.

Chandler couldn't help but grin contentedly, placing a kiss on the top of her head as his arms tightened around her.

It was a sweet deal.

TBC...