KPOV-
''Grace Elizabeth, what are you doing,'' I stare at my youngest across the table.
Of course, she won't be the youngest in a few months.
It's the first week of December, and we've just finished a family lunch with our surrogate, Regina.
''The baby's in there,'' she ignores me, looking up at Regina with wide eyes.
Regina laughs quietly, running a hand through her dark hair, staring back at Grace with blue, equally wide eyes, ''Yes.''
''How does it come out?''
Blaine chokes on his drink, obviously not wanting to have this conversation in more detail than we already have.
''Well, I'm going to go to the hospital when the baby is ready to come. The doctor will help me with getting the baby out of my stomach,'' she rubs her belly, ''And then your dads will bring the baby home.''
''Then, you're going to have a little brother or sister.''
It's uncanny. I'd think Blaine and Regina were related if I didn't know better, but he has said the same thing about Regina and me. She has thick, brown hair, though hers is straight. She has hazel eyes, just like Blaine.
Still, I hope our baby has their dark hair, and Blaine's eyes.
''When is the baby due,'' Jade asks brushing hair out of her eyes as she does.
''In May,'' Regina answers.
She's being so wonderful about this. This is not her first time being a surrogate, and she wanted the kids to be involved in the pregnancy, so she thought spending a few days each month around them would be beneficial.
''Which is why we want to think of possible names now. It is still too early to find out the baby's gender, but there's nothing wrong with picking out a few names,'' I pick up the notepad, uncapping the pen, ''Alright, Liam. You're up.''
''Alright,'' he looks thoughtful, ''If it's a boy, Darren. If it's a girl, Amber.''
''Okay, good,'' Blaine nods in approval as i write them down, ''Your turn, Jacob.''
''Ummm… Daniel for a boy, and Marilyn for a girl.''
I jot those down, nodding to my youngest son.
Ever since our talk with his teacher last year, things have gotten better. Jacob plays with the girls at school if he wants to, and if another kids teases him for it, he tells the teacher. But the bullying has gone down, just like we hoped it would.
The fact that he is being so mature as we prepare for the new baby doesn't hurt, either.
''Jade?''
''I like Alexandra for a girl, and Benjamin for a boy. We can call her Alex, and him Ben.''
''Alexandra… and…. Benjamin,'' I write down, ''Grace?''
''Candace and... Jeremy,'' she shrugs, naming them after two dolls she got for her last birthday.
''Alright. Regina, would you like a turn?''
''No thank you. It is best for me to be as unattached as possible,'' she reminds me.
''Right,'' I sheepishly nod, ''Well, I like Eli for a boy, and Elena for a girl.''
''And I like Rylen for a girl, and Mason for a boy,'' Blaine finishes us off.
''Perfect,'' I stare at the list, ''As we get closer, we'll vote names out. Some, we may be able to use as a middle name.''
For now, Blaine and I are just glad that they're being so helpful and of the stress of getting ready- and having to buy brand new items since we didn't plan on having a baby for a while- has lead to a few arguments, the most recent being yesterday about… actually, I can't even remember. This really relieves a little stress, though.
Because Blaine and I definitely need it.
''So are we going to act like last night never happened,'' Blaine asks, walking alongside me as I push the shopping cart.
The kids our off on their own- Liam with Grace, and Jade with Jacob- picking out gifts, and are going to meet us in a half hour.
''I'd hate to contribute to this conversation, Blaine, since you seem to think I'm 'too compulsive'.''
He winces at the memory from last night's fight, where hushed and angry insults were whispered behind our bedroom door.
Just because we weren't happy with each other at the moment didn't mean the kids needed to suffer, too.
''I don't even know why I said that, Kurt,'' he groans, ''Come on. We acted polite in front of the kids, so can we talk about it now?''
Damn it, Blaine.
''I get it. We're stressed. We have to prepare for this new baby, another mouth to feed. but we're ready. We're doing well budgeting for the six people living in our apartment already, and we have our emergency savings as well.''
''It's not even really that,'' he sighs, ''I just want to make sure you are a hundred percent sure you are ready for this. Because when we adopted Jade, Liam, and Jake… well, first we thought they were only going to be living with us temporarily. Then we just fell in love with having them in our lives.''
''The same way we've already fallen in love with this baby. We've raised a baby before, Blaine, need I remind you? And Grace is growing into a wonderful human being,'' I drop the onesies he picked up into the cart.
She is so loving and sweet. Of course there are bad days, but not too many. Grace is really a good kid. When she's not playing with her brothers or sisters, or Blaine and I, she's helping out, practicing or dancing, wanting to know more about the world.
''I think we both said some things we didn't really mean,'' he says pointedly, ''I know I did. And I'm sorry, Kurt. I was out of line.''
''So was I,'' i face my husband, ''Look, if we are going to make this work,we are going to have to find new ways to manage stress. All of this arguing isn't good for us, or for the kids. Especially the baby, since he or she will be in our room for a while.''
''Right,'' he kisses my cheek, not caring if anyone sees, ''I love you, okay?''
''Love you, too.''
Okay, so maybe we fought about something stupid. We probably did, as we've been doing that lately. And the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and hours of screaming that are to come in a few months sure won't make things any easier. All we can do is work through it together, and not let our bond get too weak.
And hope that it works out well.
RyderPOV-
''I'm glad they're happy,'' I hand Blair's phone back to her, ''They deserve it.''
She'd just shown me a picture Quinn had sent her of her and Puck's two month old baby, Aubrey Puckerman.
''They do,'' she lays her head on my shoulder, ''She's such a beautiful baby, too. I know she's going to be smart and loving, too.''
''Just like ours.''
She looks to where Noa his playing with plastic train set, surprisingly quiet after the meltdown he had before his nap.
''He really is a good kid,'' she agrees, ''He's almost three, and he's already potty trained. I mean, of course he still has accidents, but they're getting less and less frequent.''
''I know we thought he had it the first time, but he's improved. If we just give him some time, he'll do things just fine.''
But, no matter what, we won't underestimate him like my parents did me. My son's not going to grow up feeling worthless.
Not if we can help it.
''I know we've said we've given up a lot for him, but I don't think we should say that anymore,'' Blair begins, ''Yes, we had to postpone our plans. I don't regret it though. I love Noah. Timing wasn't ideal, but I love being a mom.''
I know. I see how much you love him every day.
''I love being a dad. And with two of our photographers moving away next month, I'm going to get a raise. So at least we'll have that to help out until your money from Starchild's next album comes in, along with your money from the dance studio.''
''And the fact that next year this time, I may have my own album out,'' she beams.
Starchild's label saw something we saw all along: how talented she is. They want to sign her on, and said she could work from New York.
Finally, after years of practice, it all seems to be coming together.
''I really hope that, if I do become famous, I make a difference. I'll be honest,'' she starts, ''I don't always like my body. Someone made a comment today that I have ''pear hips'' and I'm fat, and then another said I have an hourglass shape. For once, I didn't care about people commenting on my body.I looked in the mirror and actually loved what I see. And one day, I hope to get everyone there.''
''I'm glad,'' I kiss her, laughing when Noah voices his complaint.
''Ewww, mommy, daddy!''
''Sorry, buddy,'' I shake my head fondly, smiling at him.
And to think he was so fragile when he was born. Now, he's just as healthy as the other kids. When I pick him up from the day care at NYADA, he is usually running around- as best as a two year old can- with the other toddlers.
''Can I ask what brought on your sudden epiphany?,'' I shift my focus back to Blair when Noah goes back to playing.
''I thought about high school, and how Marley and Sugar and everyone tried to reassure me I'm not 'fat' and that I'm beautiful. At the same time, I tell Jade that everybody can be beautiful. I know she thinks I have the perfect body, but no body type is better than another. So even if some for the girls in high school liked my body more, and thought I was conventionally attractive, I couldn't see it. Maybe I am beautiful that way, and maybe I'm not...''
She trails off, watching Noah, a smile on her face.
''Besides, beauty is 's what I want to you describe your body, if it's positive, that's what I am aiming for. If you want to love yourself, no matter who you are, I want to help you. Besides, this is the body that gave birth to two beautiful children. That fact alone makes me love myself. And I just want to help other people do the same. Being beautiful is not the most important thing, but if you want to feel beautiful, you deserve to.''
I love this woman so much.
''I love you so much,'' I kiss her while Noah is preoccupied, ''You've come such a long way.''
Only a few years ago, you were struggling to accept yourself. And it baffles me how you couldn't see your own worth, how talented and smart you are, how beautiful.
''I'm not perfect, and I won't try to be. And I have done some really stupid stuff before, but who hasn't? I'm human. You really have helped me a lot,'' she kisses me, ''I love you.''
If there was any doubt that she is in a much better place now, then it has been erased. She is even doing better than she was this time last year, as am I.
''Mommy, daddy! Play with me?,'' Noah questions, bright brown eyes wide open.
''We're coming,'' Blair pushes off of the couch, reaching back for my hand.
''What's going on, buddy? Oh, okay,'' he hands me a plastic plate of the play food he got as a hand-me-down from Kurt and Blaine, since Grace doesn't play with it anymore, ''Thanks.''
''Ohhh, so you're cooking for us,'' Blair runs a hand through Noahs short, wavy hair, ''Thank you, honey.''
''You welcome!,'' he hands her a plate with a plastic donut and a piece of lettuce, ''Enjoy!''
''It looks wonderful,'' she kisses his head, ''It's good, isn't it Ryder?''
''Mhm, sure is,'' I smile back at her, just enjoying two of my favorite people interacting with each other.
Blair may credit me with being a good dad, but she's an amazing mom, too. Of course we do whatever we have to do to make sure Noah has what he needs. She even picked up an extra class at the dance studio last month, despite having two classes already, school, being invited back to the Winter Showcase, and helping me raise Noah.
''Here, daddy,'' Noah gives me a plastic cup.
''Oh, thank you, sir. I love this restaurant,'' I tickle him for a moment, laughing at his giggles.
''Thank you,'' Blair hands her plate back to him, ''It was delicious''
''Thanks, mommy!''
''You're so very welcome,'' she kisses his cheek again and again as he giggles, ''What's so funny?''
Noah continues to laugh as Blair showers him in kisses, holding him in her arms.
So things are very far from perfect. Blair and I are exhausted most days, and we had an argument this morning that… well, I'm glad Noah wasn't there for that, even if there was no yelling. The tension was obvious, and the anger even more so. I'm sure that, with all of the stress we'll have in the next few weeks, another fight isn't far away.
For now, I'll take a piece of advice my dad gave us at the wedding: ''Live in the moment.''
Because, right now, the moment is pretty damn perfect.
SugarPOV-
''Could we have come on a worse day?''
It's nearly five in the evening, and we've been standing in line waiting for the kids to take their Christmas pictures with Santa for an two and a half hours.
''You wanted to do this,'' I remind him, shifting Finn to my other hip as he gnaws on the animal crackers I packed, ''And what did you expect?''
''I don't know. I thought we'd beat the crowd by coming so early in the month,'' he admits, holding tightly to Wendy as she sits on his shoulders, ''Is she dropping animal crackers on my head?''
''Yes,'' I laugh, 'Hey, just be glad I haven't given her the sippy cup of juice.''
''True,'' he kneels so she can climb down, then takes her back into his arms, ''Wendy, can daddy have an animal cracker?''
''Rory Hummel, let our daughter eat in peace,'' I roll my eyes, trying to stifle another giggle.
''Thank you,'' he kisses her forehead before taking the cookie Wendy offers him,'' Oh, an elephant! my favorite! Thank you, Wendy. At least someone shares her animal cookies with me.''
''You're such a child,'' I tease him, glad that the stress of the week is over so I can enjoy my three days off work, ''Don't let her ruin her dress, please. My mom won't be happy.''
Especially not after she took up sewing just to make these outfits.
''Don't worry, she's wearing a bib,'' he points out as I take the animal cracker from Noah, ''We have to make sure we have several copies: one for us, one for dad and Blaine, for grandma and grandpa Anderson, grandma and grandpa Hummel, your mom, and...''
He trails off, not wanting to mention the one member of my family who has made the choice not to contact me.
''I'll send my dad one,'' I push Finn's light brown hair off of his forehead, ''It would be the nice thing to do.''
Sometimes, I feel hurt by my dad's choice to exit my life, and my mood matches the bitter cold of winter.
Right now, though, I am in such a good mood that I don't think even he could ruin it for me.
''Here,'' I give Rory Wendy's sippy cup, taking Finn's out as well, ''At least we're closer to the front of the line. Only ten more people.''
And at least we're done shopping for the day, keeping in mind how we budgeted this.
''Good,'' Rory breathes, ''I don't want to hear another crying baby.''
Which is most of what we heard, as well as children rattling off their lists of things to ask Santa.
We love kids, but I'm sure he is just as anxious to get back to the peace and quiet of our own home.
Although I will admit that the little boy behind us that wants Santa to help the less fortunate warmed my heart.
Slowly but surely, we make it to the front, and I haven't felt so relieved in such a long time.
''And what are these precious ones' names,'' a woman dressed as Mrs. Claus beams at my children.
''Finn, and Wendy,'' I hold Finn closer since he's obviously terrified of being so close to a complete stranger, ''No, honey. She's nice. Don't you want to meet Santa?''
He nods against my neck, and I walk him over to wear Rory and Wendy are waiting for us.
Which is actually a bad idea. The minute I place him in Santa's lap, he starts crying, tears rolling down his cheeks.
''It's okay, little boy,'' Santa tries to soothe him, ''Tell me what you want for Christmas.''
''Mommy!''
''Shhh, it's okay,'' I pick Finn up, holding him close, ''mommy's here. Mommy won't let anyone hurt you.''
Not as long as I can help it.
''Maybe if you take the picture as a family, he will be less afraid,'' the photographer suggests, ''Usually works like a charm.''
''What do you think, Finn? Should mommy and daddy take the picture with you,'' I question, wiping tears from his eyes.
''Yes,'' he nods, sniffling.
''Then we'll do that. Mommy's got you.''
And that works… until Finn looks back to Santa, and begins wailing again.
''Thank you for your time, but I don't think we're getting pictures today. He's only two, and it's been a long day for them,'' Rory explains, picking up Wendy, ''Please don't cry, Wendy. Finn's just fine.''
She sniffles, burying her face in his neck and nodding.
Well. That went well.
''They're only two, and they weren't the only toddlers crying,'' I whisper on the drive back home, when the kids are fast asleep in the back.
''Maybe we can skip that, and just ask Ryder to help us out. It's cheaper, and no crying,'' Rory suggests.
''And we won't have to deal with standing in line for two hours,'' I admit, ''That's a much better idea.''
''I was thinking: tomorrow, dad and Blaine are helping the kids, Blair, and Noah pick out a tree. I know you always wanted to do that. And since your mom wanted to have the kids spend the night, I thought maybe...''
Really?
''I told you that when we first started dating. How do you even remember that?''
''Because I'm cheesy and romantic. Plus, we have an old box of Christmas decorations that dad and Blaine gave us just in case. What do you say? We can use that mix Christmas CD Jake and Marley gave everyone at their engagement party last week while we decorate, and it'll be like our own personal date night.''
How can I say no to that?
''And,'' he continues, ''This year has been stressful on both of us. We argued over who used the last of the toothpaste yesterday. We could use some alone time, right?''
''Right,'' I agree, ''Thank you, Rory. I love you.''
As much as we love being parents, sometimes it's just nice to be with each other.
''I love you, too. Besides, we'll be even more busy. As soon as finals is over, I am picking up more shifts at work, and you'll be busy, and we have, like, five recitals to go to.''
''Don't remind me,'' I groan, ''I love Blaine, Jade, Grace, and Jacob, but we have their two separate programs, Jade's glee concert, the glee concert, Gracie's dance recital...''
''And we will give and take. No stressing ourselves out more than we already are,'' he promises.
''Exactly.''
For now, we'll go in, let the kids take their nap, and prepare dinner together, enjoying the silence while it lasts. As a parent, especially a parent of twin toddlers, the silence never lasts long.
And, secretly, I love it.
Christmas tree shopping in the next chapter, and maybe some ice skating!
Disclaimer- glee belongs to Fox, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.