BPOV-

''I like this one.''

Jade has a tight grip on Grace's hand as they stand in front of a tree that is about five feet tall, looking it up and down.

It is one week before Christmas break, and the first weekend where Kurt and I were both free. We had to postpone shopping for a tree, but now is the perfect time.

''I do, too. Not too big, not too small. It'll be easy to transfer this tree in and out of the apartment.''

''Papa, where's daddy,'' Gracie looks around.

''Grace Elizabeth, put your hat back on. It's freezing out here. And he is with Jacob and Liam, getting hot chocolate for us.''

Thank goodness. We'll have to take the kids home, soon, before they catch a cold.

There's a loud sneeze as the three of them return, Kurt and Liam holding the trays of hot chocolate, Jacob in front of them.

''Thank you,'' Jade and Grace chorus as Kurt carefully places the cups into their hands.

''Jake, Grace, please be careful, alright,'' Kurt instructs, worry lacing his voice, ''We don't want you to burn yourself.''

''Well, we picked out a tree,'' I nod towards it, ''What do you think?''

''That's what I wanted to talk to you about,'' he looks at Jacob, ''His allergies have gotten worse since we've been here. What if we get an artificial Christmas tree? It'll be easier on his allergies, and we can just put it in storage when we are done.''

''Valid point,'' I agree as Jake sneezes again, ''We're going to have to break it to them though.''

Last year,we blamed his sneezing on his cold. We have to think of Jake's health first, though. Just like we do all of the other kids.

''Okay, guys, listen up: We may not be able to get a Christmas tree this year? Well, not a real one,'' Kurt cuts them off before they have the chance to complain, ''Blaine and I think that, with Jake's allergies, it'd be better to get an artificial Christmas tree to decorate.''

''So it's my fault,'' Jacob's bottom lip quivers.

''No, no, no, little guy,'' Liam kneels, wiping at his brother's eyes, ''We just want you to be healthy.''

''Yeah, Jakey,'' Jade bends so she's eye level with him,''You're more important. Besides, artificial Christmas trees are easier, and just as fun.''

And less high maintenance than picking up dozens of pine needles everyday.

''Alright, so we're all good?'' I smile, ''let's go get us a tree!''

After discarding the plastic cups, we head back to the car.

''Papa, daddy? Can I walk with you?'

''Of course, Gracie,'' Kurt grins, taking her tiny, gloved hand in his, as I take the other.

She walks along, making small footprints in the freshly fallen snow.

Grace and Jake are so sweet and innocent. Even when they are hurt, they easily recover. Unfortunately, Kurt and I know that things won't stay that way. We can not keep them under our wing forever.

We can only help them prepare to fly on their own.

''Papa.''

I look up from the homework I am grading to see Gracie standing at the door, holding a small saucer.

We've finished decorating the tree, and I decided to get some work done.

''Come on in, honey.''

''I brought you cookies,'' she gives me the plate, climbing up on the bed.

''Thank you, sweetie pie,'' I kiss her head, ''These look delicious.''

''Daddy put them in the oven, and Liam and Jade made them, but Jake and I decorated them. See? I drew a smiley face with the icing.''

''I see,'' I point at the biscuit, ''Yeah, are these my curls?''

''Mhm!,'' she nod excitedly, ''Do you want some?''

''If you insist,'' she shrugs, looking and sounding just like Kurt, ''Thank you, papa.''

''No problem,'' I smile, running a hand through her brown curls, ''Excited for Christmas?''

''Mhm,'' she beams, showing off where her tooth fell out this morning, ''I'm going to use my tooth fairy money to buy you and daddy a gift.''

Please always stay this sweet.

''You already made us and your grandparents something at school, Gracie,'' I remind her, ''And you got your brothers and sisters something with daddy and me.''

''I didn't get Blair anything,'' she looks thoughtful, ''Can I get her something?''

It's clear that she adores Blair in every way, always talking about how she wants to be a dancer just like her. Needless to say, that makes Blair very happy. There's no doubt in my mind that she and Ryder would have done a great job raising Grace. Our concern at the time, however, was giving Grace a home with parents that were financially able to support her. Besides, even if they got jobs, we still wanted Blair and Ryder to finish high school on time. In our opinion, they did the mature and responsible thing that was best for Grace in this case: knowing that they just weren't ready yet, and finding a good home for her.

And Kurt and I got the chance to raise another loving, intelligent, talented, beautiful child together.

Now we get to start all over again.

''That person got an A? Where's there sticker? My teacher gives stickers on our drawings,'' Grace explains.

''I'll tell you what: we can go and get some tomorrow, alright? And you can help me pick out my present for daddy.''

''Thank you, papa,'' she kisses my cheek, ''I'm going to go play now.''

''Alright. I love you.''

In case you ever forget.

''I love you, too!''

''Walk, don't run,'' Kurt reprimands her as she passes him while he enters the room, closing the door behind himself ''What's got the little one so excited?''

''We're going to buy stickers tomorrow,'' I pat the bed so that he'll lay next to me.

There. That's half the truth. And we did promise we'd be more honest with each other.

''These past few weeks have been crazy. I feel like we haven't really talked in a while,'' Kurt bites his lip, ''I miss you.''

''I miss you, too,'' I set my papers to the side, opening my arms, ''Come here, babe. I've only got three papers left. They can wait.''

I'm tired of missing my husband when we're sharing the same bed.

''You're such a dork. I appreciate it, though,'' Kurt crawls into my arms, ''How has your week been?''

We haven't done this in a while. When we first started dating and didn't get to see each other every day, we'd discussed our weeks with each other.

I have to say that I definitely missed this.

''Not much. Glee is winding down for the break. My English classes are obviously ready, too. Pretty sure one girl tried to bribe me with cookies,'' I admit, smiling when the man next to me laughs.

''Well, you are a tough grader,'' Kurt insists, snuggling closer.

''But they're so talented, Kurt. I loved reading their papers,'' I shake my head in awe, ''And so many of them have such detail in their stories, Kurt, that it is like you are actually there.''

Even if those kids don't always believe in themselves, I believe in them.

''How was your week, Kurt?''

''Exhausting,'' he groans, ''But my spring line is going to be great, and Sugar is taking over the maternity line completely. She is also working with our intern, Lewis. She is closer to his age, after all. So she can relate better, and...''

He continues to speak, and I just watch, taking all of him in: pale skin, bright and glasz eyes, the curve of his nose, the soft brown hair I love to run my hands through, the-

''Blaine Warbler, are you even listening to me right now?''

Crap.

''No,'' I admit, sliding down so I can kiss his neck, ''Got distracted.''

''Blaine, our kids our home.''

''Relax. I just want to kiss you. Just hot, sweet, make out session. Our kids know to knock. Don't you think we can relieve some tension before we get into another fight?''

He looks at me, blue eyes suddenly changing into something else,'' Damn it, I hate that you're so convincing.''

He lays down, groaning when I bring my lips to his.

And, for the first time in a while, there's nothing but us.

Just what we need right now.

BlairPOV-

''Stop doing this to yourself. You're beautiful. You're talented. You've got this.''

I stare at myself in the mirror at the dance studio. I practice there on the weekends, when I can be alone and work on my art.

After all, practice makes perfect.

''You have a beautiful body. It does exactly what you need it to do when you dance.''

Maybe all of the self-pep talks will kick in for good one day, and I won't have any more insecurities. Maybe I will be able to help others after I love myself better.

And I promise myself right now that I will get to that point.

The black fabric of my leotard shows off every curve and plane perfectly.

''Everyone is beautiful. Start believing that for yourself now,'' I whisper, then begin the dance routine I've begun to choreograph.

For the first time, I get through it perfectly, flawlessly.

''I'm pretty impressed.''

Ryder's standing at the door, a smirk on his face.

''Hey.''

''Hi. Can I come in?''

''Sure. But take of your shoes. No street shoes on the dance floor.''

He nods, taking them of and striding over, ''You're so talented. I'm glad you're taking Starchild's label up on their offer.''

''Mhm,'' I nod, kissing him back half-heartedly.

''Alright, what's going on?,'' he sighs, ''You're acting weird.''

''So are you. What's going on with you this past week,'' I cross my arms over my chest, ''You came in late on Monday, and you've been acting strange, Ryder. Everything was as normal as anything can ever be for us until that night you went out with your friend, and-''

''And you assume I'm cheating on you? Because that is literally where you go to everytime we have a conversation like this,'' he groans, shaking his head, ''Every time.''

''I know you're not sleeping with her,'' I close my eyes in frustration before staring at him, ''But I know something's going on. I want to know what, Ryder. Isn't that what this marriage is built on? Trust and equality?''

Or did I miss something?

''There is nothing happening between us. So let's drop it,'' he hisses.

The way his eyes darken, I know that this is something he doesn't want to talk about.

That doesn't mean we don't absolutely have to.

''I'm your wife, Ryder. And we have a son together. We have to think about him, and you have got to talk to me. I'm not trying to fight you right now,'' I reach for his hand, flinching when he pulls away.

''You won't understand,'' he snaps ''So drop this damn conversation!''

Here we go again.

''No, Ryder! And don't yell at me! You expect me to come to you, but you won't come to me? What kind of crap is that? Talk to me, Ryder! What the hell is going on with you?''

''That's your problem, Blair,'' he laughs bitterly, ''It' the same thing, the same mistakes, over and over again. That's why we kept breaking up when we were dating.''

''Alright, I made mistakes. I cheated on you and I didn't appreciate you, but you did the same thing to me. And look at where we are now? Married with a beautiful, loving little boy. We have gotten through so much, and I know we can do that again. But not if you don't talk to me, and not if we can't talk as equals.''

I refuse to go back to being your doormat just as much as I refuse to devalue you again.

''Let it go,'' he hisses, ''You don't know anything. This whole conversation is worthless, and crazy.''

''Crazy is this damn cycle we're in! Talk to me, I need to know what's going on!.''

Stubbornness is a good thing, or a bad thing. When you have two people that don't like to be wrong in a relationship, it tends to be a horrific problem.

Here we are, proving that yet again.

''You are infuriating, do you even know that?! Why the hell can't you let this shit go Besides, you act like you tell me everything. Or are we going to forget what was buried in the bathroom trash when I took it out? If my suspicions are true, doesn't all of this concern me as your husband?''

''Fine. This is about you, not me. Just get out, Ryder. This is my place of work. I don't need the owner to come back from the store and think I can't handle things without him being here. As for what you found in the bathroom…. we can talk at home.''

Or yell at each other. Like we always end up doing.

''Whatever. Bye.''

''Bye.''

That could have gone a lot better. But something is bothering him, and we have to stop it before it begins effecting this whole family.

Even if Ryder ends up hating be because of it.

RoryPOV-

''Wendy, honey, you have to go to bed. Please,'' I groan.

Starting tomorrow, I'm working all double shifts until after Christmas. I need my sleep, but I can't until Sugar gets back. Unfortunately, she has to stay late at the studio.

I've been running on about an hour of sleep all day. The twins were restless all day, and I had to work through several tantrums with them, not to mention the fact that it took an hour and a half to get them to fall asleep. Then I finished cleaning the apartment, and started studying for my last final of the semester.

Now, I wish I'd just taken the chance to sleep.

''Come on, Wendy. Daddy's got to study,'' I lay her in my bed, pulling the cover back so I can lay next to her, ''Daddy'll stay with you until you go to sleep.''

And then I can finally get some work done.

Unfortunately, I end up dozing off. When I wake up, Wendy is asleep, so I take her to the twins' room.

It always seems like there is just never enough time to get things done. Sugar and I are always rushing around, trying to get everything done. Now, though, we are always moving around each other, never in sync anymore.

As much as I hate to admit it, I miss my wife. Because I never knew you could miss someone you see everyday, even if your time with them is only for a few minutes. Sugar is in the studio right after dropping the kids off at daycare, and doesn't come home until I've already gone to bed.

But it is almost three in the morning, and she isn't home. This isn't like her, and I'm both worried and pissed off.

Obviously, I won't be getting any sleep. So I sit at the kitchen table, attempting to get some studying done while I wait for my wife to get home.

About half an hour later, the doorknob turns, alerting me that she's home.

Finally.

Sugar is holding her heels, trying to quietly sneak into the apartment, unaware I'm already awake.

''Sugar.''

She whips around, eyes wide with fear, smudged from her makeup.

''You scared me. What are you doing up?''

''Couldn't fall back asleep,'' I close my book, ''Because it's snowy and icy, and I had no idea where my wife was. She didn't even bother to call me.''

''Rory, I-''

''Please. Let me finish. If the roles had been reversed, you would be so angry with me now. You would be yelling at me and telling me how irresponsible I was, and I'd agree with you. Sugar, I didn't… if something happens to you...''

I really don't know how I can cope.

''I'm sorry,'' she places her keys on the counter, leaning against the surface, ''That was wrong of me. I should have called.''

''That's all I ask of you. We're a team, Sugar. You know what my dad and Blaine's secret? They talk. They communicate. That is literally the only way we are going to make this work, Sugar. So...if there's something going on, if you're unhappy, if i'm not giving you enough of...me or time or whatever-''

''It's not you,'' Sugar sighs, ''It's… I made a mistake, okay? And I'm sorry.''

''We all make mistakes. We're only human,'' I remind her, But if we keep making this mistake, we're not going to last. And I hope you would hate to see that happen just as much as I would.''

What happened to the strong support system we're supposed to be?

''I see what you're saying. Look, I went to a bar for a while. Just so I could forget everything. Stress and mistakes... Right now, I'm going to be honest with you. And you… we both have to deal with it. Together. Now matter h-how hard it is,'' she begins as tears form in her eyes, ''Promise me. Because I don't know how to fix what I'm about to t-t-tell you.''

She can't even make eye contact with me.

Calm down, Rory. She's not cheating on you. She saw her parents' marriage fall apart because of it. She's not pregnant, she just went to the doctor for a checkup. They would have told her. Her job is going well. The kids are healthy. So what is it?

Whatever it is, it's killing her. And, if we're going to be equals, I have to be there for her.

Even if whatever she's holding in destroys me.

WARNING: The next chapter is going to be very heavy. It will deal with issues covered in here, as well as on Glee. I will put the warnings in before the chapter starts. I keep it as clean as possible. But it will test the couples' strength. And remember that everything is not what it seems.

Disclaimer- glee belongs to Fox and Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.