My Time Of Dying
By Breech Loader
Breech: Don't use my review box for asking favours! Use it to tell me how great I am!
This time, go off and listen to "Falling In The Black" by Skillet.
Chapter Five: Falling In The Black
I never open my eyes straight away when I wake up. Just in case there's somebody around whom I don't want to know I'm awake.
I'm in a bed. My chest hurts. And I can hear people talking. One of them is Sonic, the other is… that Doctor Quack who patched up my wrists.
"So, how's he doing, Doc?"
"He'll be okay, physically. Stab wounds often look much uglier than they really are, and the beating he's taken around the face is particularly nasty… Still, he's lucky you were around to protect him from those Anti-Moebius murderers."
"He was hardly even fighting back! He was drunk right off his head."
"Yes, thanks to the blood he lost, the drink came closer to killing him than the knife wounds. And he's still malnourished and we've giving him fluids. But he's not going to die any time soon."
"When will I be able to talk to him?"
The duck chuckles, "Well, his heart-rate indicates he's awake and listening to us right now, Sonic. So… as soon as he'll let you."
I give up pretending, and open my eyes to sit up. Bad idea, because there are bandages all over my chest for a damn good reason. And I can't see out of one eye, "Oh, SHIT!"
And Sonic rushes to my side, "Scourge? You okay?"
Hasty investigation tells me that the reason I can't see from that eye is just thanks to a lot of bandages. I remember what happened… last night? Did I really..? "I… I'm not dead, I guess… So how long have I been out? And I… I…" I look under the sheet. Oh man, that's a lot of bandages there too, where I got stabbed twice, "Oh damn… what… what…"
"About… 12 hours," he runs his gentle hand through my quills. I'm clean again. In a hospital bed. He's standing over me, "Don't worry. I mean, I was worried, but the doc says it looks and feels worse than it really is."
"Take it from somebody who knows; it's pretty tough to stab a guy to death," I half-smile and he thinks I'm joking, "The heart's pretty damn hard to get to. I mean… there's all this stuff in the way, have a-" I nearly take his hand and put it on my chest, but then I hate myself for the idea. It's so damn cheesy. And I was so drunk too, "Ribcages are damn sturdy."
"Hey, I'm just… just glad you're okay."
"How did you find me?"
"The whole planet was out looking for you. Y'know… wanted criminal and all. They kept spotting you, but then you were moving on. And when people get scared, they were seeing you all over the place. But you're back in New Knothole, safe."
"Sonic, what happened last night…" And I feel myself blushing, "I… I was just drunk, right? Drunk and bleeding out? I just… you… I…" And I'm getting stuck because I have no idea of how to feel about that.
To my dismay, he looks just as uncertain as I feel as he takes a seat and starts stroking my quills again, this time much more hesitantly. And it's nice, but… I don't know how to feel about it any more than I would have two weeks ago, "Are you okay?"
I look around me. I'm on a comfortable white bed, my injuries cleaned up and covered in bandages. There's an IV in my arm. And… damn… "I want a mirror."
"Well… okay. But… the doc says it looks worse-"
"Mirror," I snatch it off him, "Woah, shit…"
He makes a joke to try and reassure me; something about the purple blur. But damn, I know it's just superficial cuts and bruises but… my face is a fucking mess. Being drunk probably numbed most of the kicking at the time. One of my eyes has a patch – I know I can see; I feel it. But hurts to blink. And deep down I know it'll all clear up but you would not fucking believe…
"Seriously, the doc says it'll clear right up in less than a month," he tells me quickly, while I lift the hospital pants a bit and inspect the purple smear that is my stomach, "And you'll be just fine."
"Urgh… I know… I know…" I shudder and put the mirror aside, "It's just… a lot."
"Speaking of that," Doctor Quack comes up to the bed, "I just want to ask you a few questions, Scourge. Just to check you know where you are and so on. So, what's your name?"
"Scourge the Hedgehog. Previously known as Anti-Sonic."
"And… where are you from?"
"Moebius… previously known as Anti-Mobius."
"And… your age?"
"21."
"How's your head?"
"It hurts. Here, and here, and here…" I point to the bruises on my face, "And here and here and here and-"
"Touch my finger," he holds out his finger and I touch it and he moves it and I touch it a few times. Guess I'm still a bit shaky, "Okay, I wouldn't say you've got any lasting head trauma, but you did take those stabs to the chest. They missed anything important but what with them and the beating you took…" and I'm guessing he's thinking 'and how you hate yourself and want to die', "We'd like to keep you in for a few nights, just for observation."
"Sure, why the hell not? What's the patch about?"
"Your eye is fine but we don't want you to strain it, so leave the patch on for a couple of days. Don't strain your chest either, okay?" he checks, "For now, just feel confident that you've received no lasting damage. Although your face will probably look worse before it looks better."
"You mean that's possible?" I sigh and let my head fall back, "If that's it… just go away, okay?" I'm trying to decide whether surviving was a good thing or a bad thing. Good, I guess. At least at the moment. I look over at Sonic, who's still sitting there, and I don't know what to think. We kissed. I remember it. I remember how it felt. But now I don't know how to feel.
He must have seen the doubt in my face, "Scourge? You okay?"
"I… I'm…" Well shit, here comes Mister Pathetic again. I start crying, "I don't know… I'm just… just…" I'm just so fucking tired… "What we did… What happened after I blacked out?"
"The guys came. They had an ambulance coming too. They loaded you up, and brought you back here. That's about-"
"Did they see… us?"
I hear the hesitation, "No."
"The things you said… the things I said… do you think we said them just because I was dying?"
Another hesitation, "Scourge… everything I said… I was… serious," he looks me in the eye, "We understand each other… not the normal way, but I do know how it feels to lose things. I do know how it feels to be alone. And I know how good it feels when you're not alone any more. Scourge, you're not a bad guy. You've just made some bad choices."
He takes my hand, and I'm terrified. I squeeze it tightly and he squeezes back, "I'll ruin your life. I ruin everything I touch. And I… I can't do this!" I'm sobbing now, "I don't know how to… to… I don't know what to do! I can't make the right choice! I don't know how!"
And he wraps his arms around me and hugs me carefully, "Listen to me when I say it's okay. Don't panic. Don't get like this, green man. You're not the only one who's had trouble with that. I know a guy… Just relax…"
I realise that he's kissed me on the cheek just then. And a massive wave of relief washes over me – somehow it's an assurance that last night wasn't a freakish imagination. I relax like he wants me to, and he lies me down, "I just… don't know…"
"It's okay. I swear, Scourge. You're safe here. Nobody is going to hurt you."
I must have slept, because that's how you wake up. What woke me up? Finished sleeping? Or did I hear something? Yeah, I think I did. Maybe the door?
"Scourge?" It's Sonic. He parts the curtain and comes to the bedside, "Oh, hey there. You've been sleeping a lot. How're you doing today?"
"I can see it in your eyes," I shrug and look around me, "I look like crap, don't I?"
"Well, yeah… but you heard the doc. It'll clear up. You just got a bit of a jump yesterday. You don't have to worry about that either. Couple of hours ago, the No-Zone Cops came and dredged all of your goons up for unauthorised Zone Travel with malicious intent."
I look down, "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"
"No! I'll look after you," he takes my hand, "I told you I knew a guy and he's coming over right about now…" we both look up as the curtains part, and I'm looking at burning red eyes and a perpetual glare, "Hey, Shads."
"Hello, Sonic," he turns his death glare on me, "Hello, Scourge." The way he says it makes it synonymous with the word 'scum', and I can't really blame him, "Didn't I beat you up once?"
"Didn't you have help?"
He turns his glare back on Sonic, "I still don't see why you need me to speak to him. He's evil. He's threatened to destroy both of our worlds, remember?"
Sonic shakes his head, "No, Shadow, he's not evil! He's just… kinda messed up right now. Besides," he smirks, "Haven't you threatened to destroy the world at least once?"
"Yes, but-" he cuts off, "Well, you owe me for this, blue."
"No problem. Amy's 17 now," a smug look comes to Sonic's face, "She's hitting that age where she's eyeing up surly guys with motorcycles and trenchcoats and a bad attitude towards authority."
"Who said- I mean, I do not have-" Shadow starts blushing like crazy, "Never mind. Let's get this over with," he turns to me, pacing a little, "I do like what you've done with your face."
"And yet it's still looking better than yours." Shadow's the kind of guy who inspires a grandstanding match. We both look at Sonic, "It's okay, Sonic. You brought him here for a reason. You can go…"
"Well… okay…" he walks away, although I wouldn't be surprised if he's still in listening distance.
"So, why are you here?"
Shadow rearranges the dirty black trenchcoat he's wearing and takes a seat, "Apparently Sonic wants me to tell you all about how it's possible to turn from an asshole into a nice guy," he frowns, "I disagree. I am still an asshole. But still…" he pauses, "Somehow that blue idiot convinces me that I can tell 'Evil Sonic' that he can change for the better."
"Yeah. Back when I gave a shit, you had qualities I would have liked if you hadn't aimed them at me. Also, it's Scourge now. And... Sonic isn't an idiot." Damn. I'm actually standing up for him?
"It doesn't matter to me whether you reform or stay bad; I can beat you down either way," he leans back, "Nor does it matter to me that when I asked Sonic why he gave a crap, he started bullshitting and blushing like a schoolgirl."
"He… what?"
"But since he can't convince you that it is possible to stop being evil, I suppose I must," he finishes, "And I'll start with saying that yes, I have made bad choices. I have deliberately killed people to fulfil my own selfish goals. And I have stood on the edge of a bridge and tried to convince myself to jump. Not entirely unlike you. Of course, the thickest thing alive maintains that I am now one of the good guys."
"How can you know you won't go back there? How do you know you won't hurt your friends again?"
"Oh, but I have," he looks down, ashamed. Then he looks up again, "And they have forgiven me."
"I don't have friends."
"Nobody has friends at first. They have… people they hang around with," he smirks, "And when the world goes to hell, your friends are the people who stand by you. And when it's all over, they are the people who walk back with you. From the current appearance of your face… I should guess that you have at least one friend."
"Stop talking like a fortune cookie!" I start sitting up, and promptly regret it because of… well, you know, "DAMN! Do you really think there's good in everybody?"
"Maria did," he shrugs, "And it would be nice if that was true, wouldn't it?" he looks thoughtful, "But I have committed the most despicable of acts. I have wallowed in the pit of despair. And I have teetered upon the very brink of insanity. And yet, here I am," he stands up, ready to leave, "And here you are, Scourge. When life gives you a second chance, don't waste it."
I fall silent for a bit, and then Sonic walks back in, "Thanks, Shads! I think you both did great."
"Hmph."
"Well anyway, don't you want Amy's cell-phone number?" Sonic holds something out and Shadow snatches it and crumples it into a pocket, "Now I-"
Then the door opens again, and that stupid-looking-kid with the weird hair comes in. It's weird, y'know? Isn't he from the future? What's he doing back here, causing paradoxes? "Uh, hey Shadow… Sonic… uh, hey Scourge…" he waves at me a bit.
"Hey, Silver!" Sonic grins. Shadow grunts a hearty welcome.
White-boy shuffles his feet, "I hate to interrupt you like this but… there's this thing…"
"Okay, boy," Shadow grinds his teeth in obvious frustration, "What did you break this time?"
"NO!" Silver grins awkwardly, "No, nothing like that! It's kind of about Scourge…" he looks at me awkwardly, "Uh… I just heard the Zone Cops want to talk to you. A lot."
"WHAT?! When?"
"Through that door," Silver points, "Right about… now."
I don't even wait. I vault right out of bed, which is a bad idea because I collapse instantly, ripping the damn IV out of my arm and just about keeping from screaming as that screw Zonic comes in. So I slump on the floor. Guess there's not much I can do…
Sonic tries to pick me up, while Shadow looks on impassively, "Very well, I'll just step outside," he grabs Silver by the ear, "Come along, boy…"
"Owowow…"
"Scourge," Sonic tries to help me up as Shadow pulls Silver out and the screws approach, "Scourge, come on, I'm sure it's-"
"Sonic… if I could punch you in the face right now, what do you think I'd be doing?" I roll onto my back, the effort leaving me completely out of breath, "I'm not going back to prison! I'm not! I… I…" I burst into tears again. So much for life picking up. I'm crying in front of screws, "I'm not talking to them!"
"Would you guys just… step back for a bit?" Sonic asks them, and kneels beside me, "Come on, Scourge… have you actually done anything wrong?" I think even he knows that was a stupid question though, "Okay. Come on, I'm right here."
I roll onto my side, "I wish I was dead…"
"It'll be okay. Just… get back into bed, okay? They can't take you anywhere when you're like this…"
I know cops, so I don't really believe him. But I can't get up; it takes him and Doctor Quack to lever me back into bed. My brain keeps telling me it was just a beating, but my body… well, it hurts a lot, okay?
I know he thinks I can… but I still don't know if I can do this…
You are my source of strength,
I've traded everything,
That I love for this one thing,
Don't leave me here like this,
Can't hear me scream from the abyss,
And now I wish for you my desire,
Don't leave me alone,
'Cause I barely see at all,
Don't leave me alone, I'm…
Falling in the black,
Slipping through the cracks,
Fall into the depths, can I ever go back?
Dreaming of the way it used to be,
Can you hear me?
Falling in the black,
Slipping through the cracks,
Fall into the depths, can I ever go back?
Falling inside the black…
Breech: I'm not sorry this chapter is 'late' because then I wouldn't have as much time to think about my main story and read my earlier stories involving non-suicidal cutting.
And to think this was only going to be a one-shot about the logistics of Scourge's universe being 'opposite'. Different stories appeal to different people, I guess. I do love your reviews though!