This chapter is dedicated to my own personal fan girl! LovelyPam. She is awesome and the reason I have dedicated this chapter to her is because we spoke a little about her lives and this girl is a fighter! LovelyPam, do not forget to leave a review on the chapter :)

Title Of Story: Saviour
Chapter Number: 5
Chapter Name: Victim

Felicity
It's been a few days since the attack happened and everyone had been keeping a very close eye on me. I think one of them was waiting for me to top myself. I can tell by the way everyone looks at me that they think of me as a victim, I don't want to be a victim, I refuse to be a victim. It's not like I'm the first person this has happened to and sadly I won't be the last, I'm not going to sit here in my apartment having the suicide watch keep an eye on me all day and think about the attack or him. I need to start living my life again and forget about him and what he did, why should one persons actions destroy my life? Yes it should change certain aspects of my life but I refuse to let it destroy me as a person because when you allow that to happen you become a victim and I am not a victim.

Oliver has been the main member of the suicide watch team, only leaving when necessary which is when I'm normally left with Laurel of all people. The ex alcoholic and drug addict. Great. This is the sort of person I need in my life right now. Every time she's here a part of me wants to throw her out because she keeps making it about her, she keeps telling me how hard life is and then goes into the story of how life has been hard for her. I think she forgets I was there that night Sara was killed and I have been working close with her father for a while. I know life has been hard on her and she's not been dealt a great hand but I am sick and tired of her whining all the time. Oliver is worried about her because she's trying to become The Canary but if she wants to get herself killed then let her, he's not her minder.

I know to some people that might sound harsh but someone needs to say it and the mood she keeps putting me in I'm not afraid to say it. She really thinks that the world revolves around her and I think a small part of her is doing this for Oliver's benefit. She lost the attention she had from him to Sara and she doesn't want to be living in the shadow of a dead person. I wouldn't want to be living in the shadow of my dead sister either, well I don't have a sister so I would never be in that situation but you know what I mean.

I heard my front door open and close and looked over from my place on the sofa to see Oliver smiling at me. I smiled back as he walked over to me and he took a seat next to me "How you doing?" He asked me.

"I'm fine" I replied.

"You don't have to act tough in front of me, you can tell me the truth" He said.

"I said I'm fine" I snapped at him.

I could tell by the look on Oliver's face that he was shocked by my out burst but I'm sick and tired of everyone treating me like this. Asking me if I'm ok all the time, what do they want me to say? It's happened and there's nothing I can do about it, I just wanted to get over it. How can I get over something when they won't let me forget it "I didn't mean to upset you" He said to me.

"Oliver I just want to forget about it and move on. I can't do that when everyone is always reminding me of what happened, I don't want to be a victim anymore Oliver… I refuse to be a victim" I told him.

"I'm sorry you feel like that but we're all just trying to look out for you" He said.

"So you get the ex drug addict and ex alcoholic to baby sit me? I really do not need to listen to her life problems" I admitted to him and just as he was about to speak I continued "And I don't need people checking up on me, I'm not going to kill myself, which I'm sure you're all waiting for" I added.

"That's not fair Felicity, we're just worried about you" He told me.

"Well I'm sick of everyone being worried about me!" I shouted and stood up from the sofa and started pacing as Oliver sat still in his seat "It happened and there is nothing I can do to change that but I want to get over it and live my life like a normal woman. I am sick and tired of living like this, this isn't living!" I explained to him "Ray won't let me go to work, you guys won't even let me make a drink for myself. I just want to get back to normal" I told him and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

Oliver stood up and took a few steps towards me but I shook my head at him and he stopped "Felicity I really am sorry you feel this way, I never wanted that. I just wanted to make sure you were ok because if something… I blame myself for what happened that night. I should have personally made sure you got home ok and all the windows and doors were locked. I should have done more to protect you. I promised to keep you safe and I failed you, I saw how drunk you were that night and I saw how touchy feely he was… I should have done more and for that I am so sorry" He explained.

The tears I was trying to hold in fell from my eyes and down my cheeks. I closed the gap between me and Oliver then wrapped my arms around him, he didn't hesitate to hug me back and the two of us just stood there embracing each other. I never knew that Oliver felt like that, how can he really think that this was his fault? There was nobody to blame but him.

I pulled away from the embrace and looked into Oliver's eyes "This is not your fault and I don't want you to blame yourself, I don't blame you. I'm a big girl Oliver and I shouldn't need someone to take care of me. I should never have gotten that drunk but I don't blame myself either. I blame Danny and nobody but him for what happened" I sai

"Felicity I know that you're angry, hurt, upset and probably a lot of other things… but I really am worried about you. No one is expecting you to just get over this within a matter of days and go back to life as normal. You need to just take some time to really get over it and I will help you in any way that I can… anything you need" He said.

"There is one thing I want" I admitted.

"What's that?" He questioned.

"I want to be able to protect myself. When he came for me I didn't stand a chance, I didn't know how to protect myself. I couldn't fight him off and I want you to teach me how to look after myself" I told him.

"You don't need to because nothing is ever going to happen to you, I'm going to protect you and I swear you will never be in this situation again" He said to me.

"Oliver you can't be there all the time, putting me in a bubble. I know you will always come to my rescue but there are going to be times in my life that you won't be there and I'm ok with that" I told him "I'm not saying that I'm ever going to be in this situation again, I hope I'm not, but I will feel better knowing that I can look after myself if I needed it" I explained to him.

"I don't feel comfortable with it" He said.

"What about Sara? You were more then happy to fight with her. Why not me? Do you think I can't handle it? I'm not strong enough?" I questioned getting angry again.

"I didn't mean it like that" He responded.

"Oliver if you don't train me then I will just go to someone else" I told him.

"Don't do that. Don't threaten to go to someone else because I won't do what you want" He replied.

"Just go Oliver" I said to him.

"Please Felicity" He pleaded.

"Just go" I repeated "I don't want you here. I need some time on my own away from everyone" I told him. He stood there for a moment just looking at me and then he nodded at me and started walking towards the door. When he reached the door he turned to look at me once before leaving and closing the door behind him. I know I sounded like a spoilt brat who wasn't getting her own way but I just want to look after myself, why is everyone trying to keep me in a bubble?

If Oliver wouldn't help then I know someone who will, Diggle, before my attack me and Diggle had spoken about him training me to look after myself but I didn't think I would need it. I had turned down his offer but he told me that the offer would always stand. I obviously wanted Oliver to teach me but he didn't trust me enough so I would go to the one person who would always help me when I needed it.

I grabbed my phone and called Diggle, he answered on the third ring "Felicity? You ok?" He questioned.

"Yeah I'm fine, I need a favour" I said to him.

"Sure" He replied.

"I want you to teach me to look after myself, you told me the offer would always stand" I pointed out to him before he could turn me down.

"Of course" He replied.

"Really?" I questioned.

"Yes" He answered.

"Great" I said "I asked Oliver and he said no, I thought he would have called you and sworn you not to" I said.

"I have always thought you needed this, I'll come round tomorrow and we'll start then" He told me.

"Great, I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you Diggle" I said.

"No problem" He replied.

Thank you for reading, please review, favourite and follow. If you haven't already then please check out my other story Second Chances.