Days of Exile

Chapter 15 – Who Are You Fighting For?

19 December 0007

No words could express the chill that racked against her body. "What-!" Tifa Lockhart exclaimed at the town in front of her.

Till this day, Tifa still remembered how the town was like in her 15 year-old mind – raging fires tearing wood and concrete apart… cries of townspeople perishing under the flames… caused by the bigger inferno in the heart of an avenger. Now…

The town was now absolutely unscathed, normal even… It was impossible.

Tifa knew that she had been gone for years, but none of these made sense. There was no sign of a town recovering from a fire disaster. Everything looked exactly the same, before Sephiroth leveled the town. Everything. The houses, the water tower in the centre of the town, every broken gate, shrub, tree… Everything was the same… except the people. A sickening feeling hit her stomach when she looked around – she recognized none of them. Tifa assumed that all, if not most, of the townspeople, perished in the fire. So who came to build this town back to its former appearance? And who were these people living here?

What is happening?

Beside her, Cloud looked equally shocked. Tifa turned and spread her arms wide. "This was all supposed to be burnt down, right?" She asked, looking at him. She knew that he could not comprehend whatever that they were seeing too, but she just… had to confirm.

Cloud gave a grim nod. "… I thought so."

"Then why…?" From the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar house. Her house. "My house is still there too…"

With them was Yuffie Kisaragi, the newest addition into the party. She turned back at Cloud, her short bob whipping against the force. "What the…!?" She gestured, giving Cloud a suspicious look.

The blond immediately understood the Wutaian's skepticism. "I'm not lying!" He exclaimed but when Yuffie did not relax her stare, he sighed and shook his head. Tifa was definitely more reliable to speak to. "I remember… the intense heat of the flames…" He murmured and then lapsed into thought again.

Tifa frowned and gave a small nod. She found herself, however, more and more not convinced by Cloud's words. She trusted Cloud, he was her childhood friend. But she had to admit, his words were getting incoherent and most of his facts contradict each other. One for a fact that he claimed he was present when Sephiroth burned our town down… but I never saw him at all.

Tifa recalled on the incident years ago – it still burned in her heart like an emotional scar. She thought about the handsome SOLDIER First Class, Zack Fair. She remembered how friendly Zack was, despite being a member of the most elite fighting group in Shinra. Tifa had not met that SOLDIER ever since, not even when she was in Midgar, so Tifa had no one else that she could confirm all these events with. Cloud had no recollection of Zack Fair, but Aerith knew Zack Fair… In Gongaga, that elderly couple recognized Aerith as Zack's girlfriend and she had run away thereafter. Tifa wanted to talk to Aerith about this… but she couldn't find a time alone with her… also, Tifa was too scared to find out the truth, whatever it may be.

Then she had Sephiroth, the majestic General and object of many boys' admiration. He was obviously not a candidate to discuss all these with. Not that she could get a chance to talk to him because they were chasing him down across the Planet. Even if she had the chance, she'd rather not. Tifa can never resist a shudder when she thought about him.

No, she had to rely on her own memory to confirm that what she went through was not a dream. She still had her cowgirl costume and hat. She too, remembered the heat and the cries of the people. She can recall the elegantly lethal sword stuck in the ground, the culprit who took her father's life. She could see the looks of recognition on the Turks, Reno and Rude, whenever they see her now – Tifa will always remember them as the two who turned down helping her dying father.

Looking at Cloud again, Tifa bit back the urge to confront him about his memory. She almost wanted to ask back in Cosmo Canyon, but her courage failed her. The Cloud that she was seeing… who is he?

Since she found him in Midgar, he had been nothing but cockiness and apathy. Tifa understood that being a Shinra SOLDIER could change anybody, but Tifa knew her grounds for being worried. It wasn't like Cloud changed his personality, more of Cloud taking on a different person altogether. There was nothing of the sensible and thoughtful Cloud that Tifa could see now. Every trace of gentleness had disappeared behind the bulk of muscle and tight jawline.

Tifa was afraid. Afraid that this was not the same Cloud. She saw it in his mannerisms, his words, the way he treated the people around him with equal nonchalance… except Aerith Gainsborough. Tifa cannot mistake the look on his face when he looked at her, when he comforted her and assured her… All those he had for Tifa alone when they were still children in Nibelheim.

Who are you fighting for now, Cloud?

Pushing the envy away, Tifa looked around the town that she grew up in. At least, she thought she grew up in.

We should go ask around. Perhaps we will see someone we recognize. Tifa thought. When she voiced it to Cloud, he agreed and the party went into the Inn.

A cheerful man stood by the counter. "Hi, welcome."

Cloud cut to the chase. He leant against the wooden counter and stared at the man. "What's your story?" He asked. When the innkeeper gave him a confused look, he continued. "This town was supposed to have been burnt down 5 years ago. What the hell is going on?"

Immediately, the man turned around, tending to something important all of a sudden. "Sir, don't say such awful things." He said quietly. "I was born and raised in this town. What you've said never happened."

Tifa Lockhart knew that he was lying. Cloud and Tifa exchanged knowing glances. They would just have to keep asking. Surely someone would give them what they want.

We'll keep looking, I'm sure we can find someone willing to talk. She resolved in her heart. It's not like the entire town is in cahoots to lie to us, right?

20 December 0007

If projected emotions of someone can actually hurt, Meia would be physically incapacitated from the looks of disdain and contempt coming from her direct superior.

"That is not what I was looking for!" Professor Hojo grumbled under his breath as he peered over the online documents. Meia tried not to notice that his breath smelled of cheese. "Can't you tell the difference between the numbers 6133 and 9133, or have you never been to school?"

Meia flinched at his nasty words, wondering how close to home he had hit. She was educated much later than children her age, though she had caught up quite easily, if not overtaken, and was very comfortable with numbers and alphabet. Swallowing her pride, Meia retraced her steps and selected the correct file this time.

Professor Hojo motioned her to move away (she did willingly) and sat upon the desk, working on his data. Meia looked around her; Floor 68 has been much repaired since the break-in of Sephiroth. Apart from some charred walls and chipped floor tiles, the building looked perfectly normal. Too normal, in fact. Almost immediately everyone flung themselves back to work as if nothing had happened. Among them is one Professor Hojo.

Although it was not the first time she was working with Professor Hojo, she was still a little unsure how the scientist worked. If anything, working with Professor Hojo required not experience, but like-mindedness. Meia wasn't too sure if she desired to be like-minded like Hojo.

Perhaps that's how he is. Volatile. She mused. No amount of guessing can fix him to a certain type of personality. He is just temperamental and extra mean, to boot.

As the dark-haired scientist gazed at the information over the screen, he mumbled short phrases of information and instruction. Meia furiously copied them on a clipboard. There's no knowing when and where Professor Hojo would want those information.

"… As soon as you're done, I'll like you to bring up my notes on Friday morning." He finished his tirade of instructions almost all in one breath.

Meia nodded and brought them out. She had typed the notes overnight in Rod's pitiful computer so that she could present them for Hojo's whimsical disposal. "Here you go, Professor." She said respectfully. Her heart swelled as she thought of the amount of work she had done to iron out his haphazard thoughts and jumbled sentences into something intelligible.

When the bespectacled scientist flipped through them, his face darkened. "What have you done with my notes?!" He demanded.

Meia's confidence shrank like a cowering cornered rabbit. "B… but I don't understand-"

"No one. NO ONE messes with my notes!" He bellowed. "Why are they in such proper sentences? Any fool will tell you that these will place my thoughts in complete disarray! My instructions to you on Friday were simple: Take down everything I say. Why can't you do anything right?"

"I… I…" Meia swallowed her surprise and answered boldly. "I only fixed your notes so that your thoughts will not conflict each other!" She frowned. "If you are so worried about getting your notes messed up, you might as well get a voice recorder."

Professor Hojo's almost literally bloomed red in anger. "You insolent and foolish brat! Making up excuses? Notes are not meant to be recorded, but taken down!" He crumpled the paper – but thought the better against it – and smoothened it again. "You may leave my lab. I have no need of you." Meia nodded, her pride stung. As she left, she could still hear Professor Hojo rant, "Assistants these days… nothing in their slobber brain. Even Dr. Crescent does better administration than this dredge…"

Dr. Crescent?

What is his problem? Meia fumed. If you are so finicky about your notes, take your own!

She concluded, in the short week that she worked as an assistant, that Professor Hojo was the least pleasant to work with, the most unagreeable person ever and the snootiest scientist one can ever claim. How can anyone be that demanding and unreasonable and condescending all at the same time?

So angry was she that she failed to look at what was ahead of her. Immediately, she ran into someone around the corner. "I'm sorry!" She squeaked. The middle-aged man in front of her was startled, but otherwise was not hurt. He had dark wavy hair, a mustache and a short beard, completing the very serious look on his face. The man nodded his acknowledgement of her apology.

Meia was about to walk past him when suddenly, the man grabbed her by her wrist. "Excuse me," he asked. "Where did you get that from?"

That 'that' that the man was referring to was Tihan's metal bird. Since it was surprisingly light, Meia fixed a metal chain around it and used it as a keychain for her bag. It had no practical value, but Meia treasured it highly. The sight of the metal bird always made her smile no matter what.

"It was a gift from a friend." She replied with a smile.

"May I have a look?"

Meia nodded and unclasped the bird from its chain. The man held the metal bird in his palm, twirling, twisting and examining every part of the bird. He even tried turning the key, to find that it had rusted beyond use. Meia explained to the man that when it was working, the bird could flap its wings.

"That must have been a very long time ago, to have a key rusted to this state." The man remarked.

"It has been close to 9 years."

The man looked genuinely surprised. "How old is the toymaker?"

Meia grinned. "He was 10 years old when he made this."

The man flipped the bird around his fingers and finally returned it to Meia. "It's not the most exquisite thing, but considering that he was 10 years old then, it is a very good piece of work. Do you think I can find your friend?"

Meia answered quietly, "He has been dead for a long time."

"My apologies for being so insensitive."

The now-brunette girl looked at the man, deciding inside that she quite liked the man. Unlike many snooty Shinra employees, this man was humble and polite. "It's okay, it has been a long time anyway." The man lapsed into silence as he fell into deep thought. Meia felt awkward and wondered if she was in the way. Yet, she couldn't help but notice the expression behind the man's face. "Are… are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Well, you looked so upset. Is everything alright?"

The man smiled. "It's just that the metal bird reminded me of mine."

Meia's face lit up. "You make toys too?"

At her response, he chuckled. His laugh was not an obnoxious one, but very normal, like any other man she would encounter on the street. Meia liked the man even more. "Not really, but I like to tinker around," the man answered.

"It would be lovely to see your works too!" Meia blurted out and immediately regretted it. Why would anyone want to show their personal things to a random stranger? She grimaced inside.

To her surprise, the man asked, "Are you free? Most of my work is in my office, so you can take a look if you like."

Meia grinned. "You tinker while you're working? Not so much to do at work, huh?" Again, she immediately regretted her overfriendly outburst. The man's face was set into a tight smile and Meia immediately apologized for being so silly. She often forgot that in a corporate environment, things that one say weren't always accepted as easily as when you're with friends. Luckily, he wasn't too offended. "It would be an honour to see your work, if you still want to show them to me." Meia added shyly.

"I don't mind. My office is a few floors down." Right before the man turned to walk away, he asked Meia, "How may I address you?"

Stunned by his politeness, Meia mumbled, "Matilda. You can call me Matilda. And…" Meia tried to return the formality. "How may I address you, sir?"

The man was a little surprised, but he did not react on his emotions. "My name is Reeve."

Only then did Meia's jaw drop. "Reeve as in… Reeve Tuesti?" She asked. Unless there had been a new employee, Shinra had only one Reeve in the last ten years, and he was the head of the Urban Development Department.

Reeve Tuesti gave a thoughtful look, though Meia knew that he was jesting about needing to think. "There hasn't been another Reeve in the last ten years, so I suppose I am the one you're talking about."

Now, Meia saw how foolish and self-arrogant she sounded in front of him. She even joked that he wasn't doing his job! "I'm sorry, Mr. Tuesti," She quickly said. "I did not know-"

"Neither did I know that there are still employees who don't recognize us by our faces." He chuckled. As Meia tried to utter an explanation, he continued, "That's a refreshing change. You are new to the company?" Meia nodded stiffly. "Then it would be a matter of time before you know us all by name, face, voice and laughter." He gestured down the corridor like a gentleman. "Come along, Matilda."

Cissnei looked up as she noticed Annie Fair walking into her room. It was a guest room but Cissnei had taken permanent residence for quite some time. She smiled at Annie but the smile stopped when she saw Annie's deathly look. "Are you alright?" Cissnei asked sharply. "What happened?"

The elderly lady could barely speak. Her eyes were brimming with tears. The only thing the lady did was to hold out an envelope to the redhead. "What's that?" Cissnei asked, tension, suspicion and curiosity arising all at once. She did not move to take the envelope. Rather, she helped Annie Fair sit on an easy chair and waited patiently for the middle-aged woman to calm down.

"It's a letter…" She spoke, sounding very distant. "… from Zack."

A chill tingled her entire body, as if doused by ice water. Cissnei's lips parted, ready to protest and affirm that Zack was dead, but Annie continued, "Zack wrote the letter before he died, but the letter was tasked to be sent only after his death." Once again, the letter was offered into her hands. "I suggest you read it. He mentioned you as well."

Now, curiosity got the better of all other emotions. Barely uttering a word of thanks, Cissnei took the envelope and gently slid the letter out of its pocket. Apparently, whoever that had been tasked to send the letter must have done it with some care. The edges were still crisp and new. Cissnei released a breath that she didn't know she was holding. Every word written on the paper was a living proof that SOLDIER First Class, Zack Fair, had once lived. Just reading his letters can make her feel like she had resurrected Zack Fair, or at least some memory of it.

The letter was dated in October 0001, mere days before his demise.

Hey mum, hey dad.

Been a long time, huh? Sorry to break this to you, if no one else has: If you're seeing this letter now, it means I'm… I'm gone. Sorry… Sorry I couldn't bring a girlfriend home for you old folks to approve. Sorry I haven't been home the last ten years. Sorry I'm such an ungrateful son… I'm sorry.

I had hoped to reach Midgar again. There, I can seek protection again from my friends and then find a way to contact you personally. Then again, we all know one must be prepared for the worst. That is why I'm preparing this letter and entrusting it to a Midgar merchant. Should I not return to retrieve this letter from him after a month, he should send it straight to Gongaga. He's a pretty nice old man, a bit of a foul mouth but… ah, not important anymore.

Oh yeah, you must be full of questions now. Where did I go the last four years? It's really a long story…

And a long story Zack Fair delivered. In the page, Zack gave a well-informed recount of his whereabouts, starting from what had happened after the Costa del Sol vacation with Cissnei, Meia and Tseng. Cissnei fought back a wry smile. Those memories were most trivial now, and she wasn't only referring to Zack Fair. Zack spared his parents the graphic details of his experimentations in Nibelheim, but Cissnei could confirm most of the events that had happened were true.

… Day by day, the Shinra troops are upon me and I'm fighting against time to reach Midgar. I just wanted to write this as a precaution that should I die, there are things that I hope you can help me do. First of all, I wish for your forgiveness. I've run away from home too many times, and at last succeeded by joining SOLDIER. Now, ironically I wish for one chance to be by your side, to see the two of you one last time…

Cissnei skimmed through the next few paragraphs, seeing that it wasn't for her eyes. Yet, she could sense the immense adoration and quiet love Zack had for his parents. The last segment, however, was the surprise that Annie had wanted Cissnei to see.

… There is a last thing that I failed to mention. There had been a Turk by the name of Cissnei some months ago. I was the one who requested her to stay by your sides a bit longer, while I sort myself out of the mess. I was hoping that you've found her to be a likeable person. Despite her reticence, Cissnei is a gentle person who had a lot of compassion for her friends and loved ones. She can be a little shy to express them. I may not know her very well, but that I know. She would've been a great addition to the family, if you know what I mean.

Cissnei's face flushed when she read those words. Had Zack seriously considered her? Zack was known to be nice and playful to all women. Cissnei never took his advancements seriously. Thinking back, if she had noticed his intentions, she would've asked Veld for permission to go on that dinner date. Then again, maybe she won't. She was still under the mission to monitor Zack Fair, and as with Turk protocol, no relationships with the involved are tolerated. But that also didn't matter, because Cissnei knew that immediately after he met her, Zack met Aerith Gainsborough and that completely swept him (and all memories of any girls before Aerith) off his feet.

Surprisingly, Cissnei wasn't that stung with envy as before. Perhaps that with the slow acknowledgement and acceptance of Zack's death, Cissnei found no more reason to view Aerith with apprehension. If it was a competition, the result would have been a tie. Cissnei, however, hated to admit to herself that if it was a competition, Aerith would have had the upper hand.

Now I know that he cherished my company a lot more than I thought… Why does it matter, Cissnei? He's dead. Shrugging the silly thought off her head, Cissnei turned to read the remaining of the letter in her hand.

… If I were to never return, could you take care of Cissnei for me? (I swear, she's not my girlfriend!) Cissnei had been a good friend to me. She helped me out twice, and I owe her my life. If she was a SOLDIER and not a Turk, I really would not hesitate to trust my life into her hands. I hope that if you are willing, and she is willing, that she could stay with you as long as she could. Cissnei has no family, and grew up never understanding what it is like to have someone take care of her. I want Cissnei to take my place.

My time is almost up, because I've ran out of papers! Besides, Cloud seems to be stirring a little. Better go check on him. Pops, mom? At the end of the day, I'll have you know that your son did not join SOLDIERs because of bloodlust and war fame. Who am I fighting for? I joined SOLDIER to fight for the people I loved, to make sure that they never worry a single day about suffering.

Sorry for making you worry. I have not been a good enough son, but I love you both.

Zack Fair.

At last, Cissnei looked up to see Annie.

"Annie…" She uttered. "About Shinra…"

Annie frowned. "I cannot forgive Shinra for doing this to my son – to anyone's son. It is downright despicable, what they have done."

"I…" Cissnei mumbled. The truth was, she was still loyal to Shinra. She cannot deny that Shinra had done many unforgivable deeds in the last half century, but she knew that their desire was for the Planet to be more advanced in their technology. Killing rebels and protestors were part of protecting what Shinra had believed in.

However...

Cissnei indeed couldn't understand the works of the Science Department. Thanks to the Science Department, the SOLDIER programme nurtured many exemplary fighters that even skilled combatants in the Turks cannot hope to defeat. However, the cost of it was too high. Eyes losing their natural colour, personalities changing… to top it all off, the success rate was way too low. Many SOLDIER candidates died because they could not adapt to the Mako in their bloodstream and died before their first assignment. Was the SOLDIER programme necessary?

"Annie, as a former Shinra employee, I can't really say much…" Cissnei said. "But not all of us are like that. And I believe that as much as Shinra has helped to better our lives… Shinra will also pay for the things that they have done wrongly."

"We can talk about this another time, though. Now, about you…" Cissnei looked up to see Annie smiling at her. Her cheeks warmed as she thought about Zack's last dying thoughts. "It seems that Zack had it all planned out for you and me." Annie smiled.

Cissnei reddened. "That fool. He knows nothing about me."

Annie rose from the chair that she was sitting on. "I'm glad to know that my son and my intentions are the same." The lady gave the redhead a look which could only be counted as sincere. "Cissnei, my offer to you remains the same. You are free in stay here as long as you want."

They really want me here. She thought. They really don't mind having me here. She had wondered how many families in the Planet could be so willing to hold a complete stranger, worse still, a former Turk. She knows of families who were adverse to even accommodating their own family members.

Looking at Annie, Cissnei made up her mind. Indeed, she had made many mistakes under Shinra, albeit justifiable. She also made her biggest mistake by not saving Zack Fair – yes, until now she was still haunted by her incompetence. Not anymore. She thought, looking at the warm but frail face of Annie. I have found someone that I can protect, I can fight for.

Taking her silence as hesitation, Annie asked, "If you intend to leave as you've said, could you at least entertain Dannie and I one last time? Perhaps you would like to share some stories of your time with Zack? You are the closest thing we have to understanding what had he been up to."

Cissnei smiled. "I'll be more than pleased to."

She would need to assure the old couple later on that she will be staying with them, as long as she can.

This is part 1 of a huge chapter, but I had to split it up, but the whole chapter talks about who and what some of our favies are fighting for. Next week will be part 2!

For those who have been wondering why sea water is blue, you can google about it (duh). Alternatively, I refer you to my friend's answer in my blog ^^

Thank you for your reviews, may you have a good weekend!