Days of Exile

Chapter 20 – Identity

26 December 0007

In the remaining time, she confirmed with Cait Sith the names of the AVALANCHE party. The lion-like creature was RedXIII or Nanaki; she recognised the name as the "rare specimen" that Reno and Haato were sent to capture in Cosmo Canyon some years back. So I suppose he has escaped from Shinra and found AVALANCHE somehow. Meia thought.

The Wutaian girl was Yuffie and the middle-aged man was Cid Highwind. The name triggered her memory. When Jasper went to Rocket Town as an escort for then Vice-President Rufus Shinra years ago, he had met Cid Highwind, the pilot in charge of the failed launch of Shinra No. 26. Jasper spoke of him with much admiration, and did not fail to mention how he willingly gave up his long-awaited dream of going into space just to save a mechanic. It sounded almost romantic, though looking at the man's crude behaviour, Meia giggled, figuring that it was far from that.

None of them were willing to talk, except for Cait Sith and Red XIII. Red XIII was ecstatic to hear that Meia had been to Cosmo Canyon and they talked at length. But eventually Red XIII returned to his group, leaving Meia with Cait Sith.

"So… Meia Etsky, huh?" Reeve's voice spoke out of the cat.

A chill racked her spine like ice water dousing over it. "Since… Since when?!" She exclaimed, thankful that the roaring winds created a hindrance for eavesdroppers. It was almost impossible to hear each other without standing side by side.

The voice reverted to Cait Sith's original voice. "The former Cait Sith recognised you."

Meia adjusted her brown wig. "Gee, and here I thought I was real good with disguises. This is the second time today someone saw through my disguise." She peered at the cat curiously. "So I should call you…"

"Cait Sith!" The cat grinned. "Nothing has changed, nothing will!"

Meia grinned back. Excepting the first time, everything had been spoken with Cait Sith's semi-robotic voice, but it was quite obvious to see whether it was Reeve talking or Cait Sith. Both had such different speech patterns. "Then I would prefer that you still call me Matilda. What happened to the former Cait Sith?"

"It… It is no longer around." Cait Sith spoke woefully. Even the Moogle, a large movable body that the cat was sitting on top of, shrunk in sorrow.

"… I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It sacrificed itself so that Cloud could obtain the Black Materia." Cait Sith looked at Meia's confused face. "The Temple of the Ancients was the Black Materia itself. Sephiroth's intentions had been to find the Black Materia to summon the ultimate destructive magic," here Cait Sith looked up in the sky. "Which is Meteor." It pointed above dejectedly.

"Temple of the An…" Meia's face lit up in shock. "Rude was telling me this morning that that was there Tseng disappeared!"

"Ah. That." Cait Sith folded its arms. "He was badly wounded by Sephiroth, but according to Mason, he needed to stay bedridden for a long time."

"Mason?" Meia stared blankly.

"I asked Mason to help me bring him back to Junon."

"So THAT'S what those idiots are in Junon for." Meia muttered. "Why? Why didn't you contact Shinra to take Tseng?"

"That..." Reeve fell silent. Just when Meia was about to change the topic, Reeve told her everything. "I've decided that what you've said is correct."

"Oh?"

"Everything is worthless to work for if it's not for the people you love."

Meia grinned. "Wow, a high exec agreeing with my simple words? That's the best news I've heard all day."

"Matilda... I am the one who destroyed Sector 7."

Meia stared at the stuffed robot in shock. Reeve took her silence as a cue to continue. "Indirectly, I'm responsible for the deaths of so many. When President Leon Shinra first proposed the plate to be dropped, I argued. But I did not argue for long. They forced me on vacation while they dropped the Plate. I... I could only watch."

"It wasn't fully your fault." Meia said. "Even the Turk, Reno, who pushed the button himself... he should not be blamed for. He was under orders to obey."

"That was where you're wrong." Reeve said solemnly. "It may not be fully our fault, but largely it is ours. We were all given two options: Do this thing, or die. To say that we were merely following orders is unethical in itself. We were the cowards who did things to survive. The valiant ones," with that, Cait Sith waved at the group of rebels behind. "Are the ones who rather die for their cause than to live under the control of someone else."

Meia listened to every word he said with a new sense of dread. The handsome face of Zack Fair filled her mind. Was that how much you were willing to sacrifice for your freedom, Brother Zack? She asked inside herself. Even if it meant death? "Still..." She murmured. "It seemed really extreme to die for something that you insist on... But you're right, that's what Zack Fair stood for. Even to the point of his death, he refused to be taken back to Shinra."

"You know, Mason talked to me about you, while I was on that forced vacation."

Meia raised her eyebrows. "What did he say?" She asked sceptically.

"I've heard about you and your belief that there is a bit of goodness in everyone." Reeve continued, but in a gentler voice. "But you're right – there is a bit of goodness in all of us. The factor determining malice is how far we will stand for the goodness that we believe in. We all have choices in life. There has never been an 'I have no choice' reason."

"But we will all be sent to our deaths... for nothing."

"Do you really think it's for nothing?"

Meia looked upon the stuffed robot in wonder.

"These people, the AVALANCHE... They are upset about losing Cloud and having Tifa hurt. You'd expect them to give up now, since the world is coming to an end. I can bet my money that Meteor is not going to stop them. If that is what it takes, Barret over there will fire his gun at Meteor till it disintegrates."

Meia giggled. "Sounds like something he would do."

"These people will not hesitate to give it their all to save the Planet. So... would one give up their lives so that others can live in the Planet comfortably?"

I see... Meia gave a grim smile. "So... with everything you've talked about… you're saying that you no longer want to be a part of what Shinra is doing?"

"I'll do things my way… more tactfully."

Meia grinned. "Look at that… A Shinra executive feeling for the Planet too. Never thought I'll see that happening." She patted Cait Sith on its head. "As long as we have the determination… hopefully the Planet can sense our desire to protect it… and it'll help itself too." Cait Sith grinned in return. "You know, you and I are kinda similar…"

"We are both spies?" Reeve suggested.

"Yeah… a double spy, for lack of a better name. But most importantly, we have a common goal… To protect our friends and family. To fight for the things that we believe in."

Cait Sith jumped up and down excitedly. "That makes us comrades, don't you think?" It beamed such enthusiasm that Meia was pretty sure that those were independent actions from Cait Sith and not Reeve. "Put it there, ally!" It stretched out its hand and they shook hands firmly.

Meia peeked at the other members in AVALANCHE, wondering what they'd made out of it. Fortunately, no one saw the exchange between Cait Sith and herself. She stared out of the airship, thoughts running through her head. She had sorted out many hidden and mistaken identities of many people, the most of it Shinra. She was already angry with Shinra, but in the light of many truths, Meia feel a deep sense of sadness and regret fusing with her anger.

Yes, Shinra was my home. She thought, shaking Cait Sith's hand. It will still be. Yet, I cannot find myself agreeing with everything it had done. When I was younger, I was angry with Shinra for taking away Sunny, Carmelle and Tihan. I hated how Shinra forced their goals and wishes on us Turks, expecting us to obey. I was disappointed when they dumped us because we've lost our blind loyalty. But now my feelings are beyond this. This... Meia looked at the beautiful Planet, lit up with lights, below the airship. The beauty of such nature will soon be destroyed by a madman's selfish desire. This is beyond madness.

Too many things that Shinra had done for the good of others, but at the expense of the entire Planet. How many people have we killed? How many families have we torn apart? We have done good, yes. Plenty. But the harm that we've caused is not justifiable. We are simply moving too far ahead our time and innovative ability. It's just like creating a machine to move the mountain when we only know how to shovel. Or wanting to create LOVELESS Part 2 when you've barely learnt the alphabet.

Now look what we've done.

"Re- Cait Sith..." Meia said, tears welling up in her eyes. "What have we done? Look at us Turks. We worked against our own morals just so that this company will thrive... to what end?" Her tears began to blur her vision and she had to take a deep breath, for she was slurring.

Cait Sith waved its giant arms frantically. "Hey, girlie!" It said. "Don't cry here!"

"All that we've done... just for this?" She pointed behind her, where the magnificent Crater could still be seen, though small as a speck of light. "Now that we've found the Promised Land... The WEAPONs are rampant across the Planet, Meteor is coming... What's the use of getting infinite Mako when there is no Planet to live in? This..." For the first time in a long while, Meia felt genuine terror. "This is not like Zirconiade months ago. Meteor is really summoned, in full, perfect form. We were lucky that we managed to defeat Zirconiade in its imperfect state. We..." Meia clenched her fists tightly, but it did not dissolve the fear in her heart. "There's nothing we can do... is there?"

"Matilda... I am just as upset as you are."

Meia paused. Then, she fell back against the railings with a sigh. "I'm not blaming you, Cait Sith." She said quietly. "I only wish that we, all of us, had the brains and the foresight to see it coming."

"Matilda… Everyone wishes and speaks of a 'shoulda, woulda, coulda'. What matters is what you're going to do now."

Eventually, everyone stopped talking and preferred to look out of the airship. Meia stared into the distance, her mind no longer on WEAPONs nor Meteor nor the people she had just met. She was thinking of that mysterious man, Cloud.

It must be painful for him… to lose himself like that… She hugged herself in the cold wind. I'll be miserable if I lost who I am. After all that has happened the last eight years, I simply cannot imagine forgetting the essence of my existence, or losing this value to someone else.

Surprise and then apprehension gripped Meia when she saw the airship landing on the airport of Junon.

"Hey! Why are we here in Junon for!" Barret shouted. All eyes turned to Meia.

"I... I don't know!" Meia said, equally confused.

Just then, the door to the deck opened and out stepped Rufus, Professor Hojo, Rude and some Shinra guards. The blond man straightened his trenchcoat and regarded the group with mild interest. He showed no signs of whatever that had shaken him in the Northern Crater. "This is where we stop."

"What do you mean by that?" demanded Yuffie, placing her hands on her hips. "I thought Shinra HQ is Midgarville!"

Meia turned to Rufus. "Sir, one of them was critically injured by an attack from WEAPON. Can we help her, please?"

Rufus looked at Tifa, who had been lying unconscious for the last 5 hours since they flew. "She will be placed in the Intensive Care Unit." Relief flooded their faces, but not for long. "The rest of you will need to stay with us for further investigation."

"No way, Jose!"

"Like %&&^& I will let you!"

"Please, please, let us confabulate together." Rufus raised his hands slightly, as if he needed to calm a group of whiny children. "Do you think we will treat you like prisoners of war?" All eyes turned to him in utter agreement. Even Meia doubted that Rufus Shinra would treat them kingly. Rufus chuckled softly. "How right you are." He turned to Rude and the guards. "Get them."

"Run!" Cid roared, nodding at Barret. Without another word, Yuffie, Vincent, Cid and Red XIII swung themselves over the railings and jumped off the airship.

"Oh!" Meia gasped. Even though the airship has landed, it was a considerable height from the deck. One needed a ladder. Apparently not for these people. They neatly landed on their feet and continued running. That was so impressive! She thought in delight. If only I could do that…!

"What are you waiting for?" Rufus glared at the men. "Get them!"

Meia stepped forward. "Sir, why are we capturing them?" She asked. "They did nothing wrong!" Rufus ignored her protests. He spoke quietly with Professor Hojo. "How can we fight against Meteor if we still engage in petty fights with our enemies. We have a bigger enemy now…" She exclaimed again when Rufus' face was impassive. "Mr. President!"

Rufus narrowed his eyes at her. "It is none of your business." He said, with a quiet anger in his voice. "I assume that you should be returning to your work soon." Turning to Professor Hojo, he said, "Your assistant needs some taming."

Hojo sneered. "You were the one who wanted that Turk to assign an assistant to me, Rufus."

From the corner of her eye, Meia saw that Rude was frowning and gave his head a slight shake. Meia nodded humbly and stepped back. She was grateful that Rude was able to help her control herself. She wasn't in a good position to make her demands now, even if she promised to help AVALANCHE.

Rufus turned to Tifa and Barret. "So, you did not escape." He observed.

"As if I would let you take Tifa alone." Barret growled protectively. "If you want to do anything to her, you'll need to go through me!"

"Hmph. That wouldn't be a problem, if you must know. However, I'm not interested in an unconscious person." Rufus cocked his head at his soldiers. "That doesn't mean that I'm going to treat you like royalty either."

As the guards grabbed hold of Barret and another reached for Tifa, Barret growled, "Wait. I'll willingly go with you. But you leave Tifa alone."

"You do not have a choice." Rufus said with a warning tone.

"I give you my word." Barret said solemnly. "Anythin' foolish from me, and you can shoot me straight from the spot."

Rufus looked at Rude. Rude took a step forward and raised a hand at Barret. "Silence." The bald Turk said quietly. The air around Barret shimmered and Barret gagged. Then, Rude gave a solemn nod to the soldiers and they released Barret to carry Tifa in his arms. "Well then…" Rude said with a dark tone. "It has been a while since you're with us again… Shall we move?" Barret sneered at him, but did not retailiate in any other way.

"Well, isn't this wonderful?" remarked Rufus with a flip of his blonde hair. "If only you had been more cooperative in the beginning." Smiling victoriously, Rufus, flanked by Rude and another SOLDIER walked past them and down the staircase that was specially prepared for descent from the airship. Hojo, Scarlet, Heidegger and some other infantrymen followed them. Barret, still carrying Tifa in his arms, walked behind them.

Meia walked past Barret. "I'm sorry that I couldn't ensure you a safe way out, like I promised." She whispered apologetically.

Barret looked at Meia with a look of surprise, before giving way to a confident smirk. His face bore no fear, only amusement. Meia could not understand what he meant. The AVALANCHE member was completely silenced by Rude's magic, so he could not explain himself. But at least he didn't seem to be angry with her, that's all she needed to know for now.

With Barret and Tifa stowed away into confinement, Meia tried to look around for the remaining AVALANCHE, but they were sneaky. Very sneaky. She thought. There was no sign of them around. They couldn't have left Barret and Tifa in Junon and fled, so they were still around, though Meia knew not where.

Meia looked up at the sky. Meteor…

Meteor was still some distance away. In the night sky, with all the light pollution, Meteor could barely be seen with the naked eye. Meia supposed that in darker towns like Cosmo Canyon, Meteor might still be thought of as a star. Only astronomers will know the truth.

Perhaps, just a few more days. Then we won't be able to hide this from the world any longer.

Meia flipped out her mirror and checked her makeup. After adjusting her brown wig and ensuring that her beauty mark was still on her chin, Meia closed her compact and turned towards Shinra's secondary office. Upon entering the lobby, she already spotted Scarlet and Heidegger walking to the right, towards the lounge. Driven by an unexplainable impulse, Meia followed behind them as well. In her mind, Meia formed crazy plans and possibilities. The first step would be to hear the heads' conversation.

The Junon office had a café on the mezzanine where employees can buy their coffee. However, only the higher ranked executives have a specially made room for their usage. Meia kept a distance from the two, not pretending to be stealthy. If anything, she could always claim that she was just buying coffee for Hojo. She strained her ears and hoped hard that they would be obnoxious enough not to keep their volumes soft.

"… Tomorrow we will send troops back to the Northern Crater." Heidegger bellowed. "Even if Sephiroth were to awaken, he would find himself surrounded by multitudes of soldiers! Gya ha ha ha!"

Scarlet scoffed. "As if he is so weak to allow a bunch of puny boys take him down."

"You dare mock my SOLDIERs? They are the best in Midgar! Sephiroth could be the strongest SOLDIER Shinra had ever made, but after sleeping for five years, let's see how he handles being ambushed!"

"We'll see about that." Scarlet replied with a flip of her hair.

As they stopped in front of the executive lounge, Meia did a small turn towards the counter. She ordered a cup of black coffee and watched the barista work on the order. She leaned against the counter in what she hoped was a nonchalant way, but she continued to listen intently for any information that could be of use.

"Once Sephiroth is dealt with, we'll worry about Meteor." Heidegger declared. "The President seemed to have taken everything quite solemnly. To think that we thought he was becoming much like his father! Gya ha ha ha ha!"

"Hmph, the boy's handsome and talented, but he needs his father's monster determination in order to bring Shinra to the next level. Kya ha ha ha ha!"

"Here you go, miss. Black coffee to go." The barista slid a takeaway cup towards Meia, who sighed. So much for eavesdropping for anything valuable. With a quick nod of thanks, she quietly slipped away from the lounge and towards the elevator before either of the departments heads noticed.

Setting the cup on the table, Meia looked at her superior. "Professor Hojo." The dark-haired man did not respond. Instead, he was standing by the window, watching the sky. Meia tried again. "Professor Hojo!"

"What is it?"

"… I… I brought you coffee." Meia said quietly, gesturing the cup on the table.

"… Lucrecia?"

Meia widened her eyes at Hojo. Is that Hojo, who spoke with such a soft tone? "I'm sorry, Professor?"

The scientist finally turned to look at Meia. The look on his face was not of the usual. There was a distant look in his eyes that were far from contemplative. In fact, he looked like he was full of nostalgia. When he saw her, his trance broke and he resumed his stern expression. "It's you." He remarked. Hojo strode towards the table and picked it up. He took a sniff and looked at Meia, his tone returning to his usual condescending self. "Is it black coffee?"

"Yes."

"Do you even know the meaning of black coffee?"

"No sugar, no cream." She answered.

"Freshly made? It's not sitting in a pot for a long time, is it?"

"Yes, it's fresh."

"Is the foam on top a golden brown?"

"Yes, it is. You can check it for yourself too."

By then, Professor's eyes brightened a little by Meia's accurate order. "Was the barista called Michael?" He asked finally.

"What?"

"You fool! I only drink from Michael, when I'm in Junon."

Meia tried to remember the nametag on the barista's shirt, but who was she kidding? She was so engrossed with trying to hear Scarlet and Heidegger's conversation that she didn't even look at the barista's face, much less the nametag!

"I'm sorry, Professor." She apologized. "I didn't specify. I only thought that you might like a-"

"Don't do these stupid things if you can't make it right!" Hojo roared. Meia swallowed her pride and fury and watched the professor take a sip from the cup. "This cup is too bland. No hint of Mideel's coffee beans at all. Whenever Michael makes it, he blends exactly 12 grams of Mideel beans. Not one bean more." He said, tossing the cup into the bin.

Meia bit her lip and tried to keep a straight face. I cannot lose my temper. She thought. If not, my plans will fail.

"You, the outsider who knows nothing of the finer things in life, don't deserve to even try and do things above your standard. Don't be such a wiseass in the future. There are many geniuses in this world, like myself. You are definitely not one of them."

"!" Meia glared at Hojo, but the scientist returned her glare with haughtiness.

"Don't embarrass yourself by pretending to be one." He said.

"… I understand." Meia answered humbly, wondering how the letter opener would look on his forehead.

Hojo walked towards the other door leading to an adjacent laboratory. "What are you standing there like an idiot for? We've got lots to plan for."

Meia hurriedly walked towards him. "About what?"

"I want to have a look at those two AVALANCHE people."

Meia froze in her steps. "No, why would you need them?" She asked. "The President had already given orders to lock them up until further notice."

"I don't give a hoot about Shinra and their politics." Hojo stood and shook his head at Meia, as if she was the stupid one. "This is my true identity, the only thing I care for is science. I live for science! I'll do anything for the sake of science. Shinra is merely the base with the most access to the things I need. The company had always been tolerant, grateful even, of the things I've contributed. Two measly AVALANCHE members will not be much of an issue."

"Is that what your experiments are all about?" She argued. "Experimenting on people? Just now in the Northern Crater… Cloud…"

"Hmm?" Hojo peered at Meia through his spectacles. "Who's Cloud?"

Meia resisted an urge to groan. "The man who brought the Black Materia to Sephiroth… What was that all about?"

"Oh. That failure." Hojo chuckled. "I am not too happy with the fact that the failure is the only one, out of my fourteen successful clones, who made it thus far."

"… 14?" Meia stared at Hojo. "You experimented on fourteen people for this?"

"Look at you, all drowning in your stupidity…" Hojo looked at Meia maliciously. "In the name of science, the sacrifice of hundreds means nothing!"

"Hundreds…" A thought flashed in her mind, something that Veld's daughter, Elfe, had mentioned that Hojo had captured the entire town of Kalm as his test subjects in embedding Materia into flesh. Elfe was the only successful product in that particular venture. Meia took a step back. "You're a monster…" She said, shaking her head. "… All those things mentioned of you in that biography were honeyed with praise. I've always thought you worked in the Science Department to better the lives of others, but no, it's only to satisfy your sick desires." A thought struck her as she saw the comparision. "Shinra's deeds are nothing compared to yours."

"That… is a very strong accusation, young lady." Hojo said dangerously, taking a step towards her.

Meia instantly took another step back and touched her wrist. Her diamond bangle was hidden beneath her long-sleeved shirt, an extravagant but worthwhile purchase in Bone Village. It tingled with potential magic power. "Then prove yourself innocent." She said boldly. "In case you're wondering, I will not contribute myself as a test subject." She glanced at Hojo, trying not to let her nervousness show.

To her surprise, Hojo chuckled, as if she had said something funny. Meia glared at him angrily. Was he making a fool out of her? "Hmph," smirked the scientist proudly. "There is no need to explain the motives of science! … And don't worry about yourself, lab assistant. You are too stupid to interest me."

"The President will not allow you to touch Barret and Tifa!" Meia stood straighter. "Don't you feel guilty about killing those people? They are not objects! They are human beings!" Meia paused as she remembered that he was also responsible for keeping Zack Fair and an infantryman locked up for four years. "God knows what you've done to Zack Fair and that nameless infantryman in Nibelheim!" Professor Hojo barely flinched at the mention of the deceased SOLDIER. "It's bad enough that you do it to Shinra's people, but no! You HAD to continue your sick ambitions on innocent people?"

Hojo huffed. "A simpleton like you will not understand the necessary sacrifice to advance."

"Advance my chocobo's foot! What you're doing is insanely wrong! You have…" Meia took a deep breath before blurting, "You have no right to decide who lives and who dies! Can you even imagine if someone did that to your son or daughter?" Meia gritted her teeth. "What if someone captured YOU and did those horrible things to you without your consent? If you try experimenting so much, why don't you do it on yourself!?"

Professor Hojo gazed at Meia intently, haunting her by his stare. Meia saw it – a glint of madness in his brown eyes. Goosebumps ran across her arms and she rubbed them.

… Oh Gaia… The thought ran amuck in her head. Just which of those that I said… are actually true?

Hojo did not acknowledge anything that she had said. Meia was too scared to ask anyway. Hojo merely said, "If you are thinking that telling the whole world about me will drive me to failure, you are wrong. The world is in debt to my genius! No one will bother to entertain a girl like you." He pointed to the laboratory. "Now that you've declared yourself defeated-"

"I did not-"

"Are you going to continue to be a stubborn mule or are you here to work?"

Meia shook her head. "I've come to tell you that I want to take a break, Professor."

"Hmph." Hojo folded his arms. "After a day at the Northern Crater and you want a break? Such weak spirit. Go. Take your… break like a pathetic human being. Only true scientists work without rest… for the advancement of science!"

"What?" Meia exclaimed incredulously. This man is already beyond reasoning. She turned and walked out of the office, throwing her hands up in resignation. She had hoped that the coffee would soften Hojo to let her take her break, but it seemed that she didn't have to waste that money in the first place.

Rufus' line was almost an actual line from my friend. I find it cute to use such a big word for such simple actions.

Alrighty folks, the chapter from now on is the buildup in FF7 to fight Sephiroth. Lots of events need to happen before FF7 comes to a close, like where the heck did Cloud go? What about Meteor and Sephy? So to those who didn't play FF7, you're in for a ride. Hopefully I don't end up retelling the story XD

It's the holidays over in Asia, because it's Lunar New Year. So happy Lunar New Year to you folks! I know that during my long weekend (work starts again on Wednesday), I'll be resting all my spent energy _

Review Replies:

Jefri: The question on Aerith summoning Holy is already canon. She summoned Holy before she was killed, not that AVALANCHE knew that till much later. And no, I won't be writing the final battle between Cloud and Sephiroth.

TWA: Haha, I've always read from other fics that Tifa's eyes were red, so... I'm just going with the flow, man. I love this chapter as well, glad that you liked it too!

Keep Calm and Be Ninja: Ah! You've finally appeared after ninja-ing for so long? *smiles* Thank you for the wonderful compliment.

Dontgotaclue88: And a lot is coming up!

Takara: Thanks for the confirmation! But I'll think about it... about keeping long chapters.

Alright, and that's all, folks! See you two weeks from now!