People were filling seats, settling down with plates full of food and still Max hadn't returned.
Zoe turned her attention back to the coffee machine, repeating the movements Max's step-dad had made, and placing a fresh mug underneath the thick stream of coffee that eventually began to pour.
As the machine began to hiss and spit, the coffee running dry, a hand beat hers to it, Max's fingers curling around it, his body pressing against hers from behind.
"How thoughtful of you..."
He spoke against her ear, his breath catching the hair that fell against her cheek. She turned into him, smiling slightly, a stiff smile.
"Still alive then?"
He glanced about the room before looking down at her, her expression pulled and taught with unease.
She frowned.
"Mmm..."
She let her eyes wander to the rim of the coffee cup that he held.
"I didn't know your ex would be here."
She said stiffly, the pretence that it didn't matter, didn't make a difference wearing thin.
He looked momentarily surprised, then thoughtful, looking out again to the tables of people.
"I didn't..."
He paused, locating her at the far table sitting with Robyn amongst others.
"Ah."
He shifted from one foot to the other, glancing back at her.
"I didn't know."
He whispered, glancing back over to her again, she looked up and he was forced to dip his head politely in a silent greeting while she half-raised a hand in response.
"Does it matter?"
He asked, holding the coffee cup in one hand and reaching for her arm with the other. She tensed slightly as he touched her, feeling that age old twinge of sick jealously rise deep within her belly.
"No! No..."
She felt her cheeks begin to burn and she raised a hand to her neck, feeling the warmth of her skin with the backs of her fingers.
"No."
She concluded, daring to look back up at him. His smile surprised her.
"You're cute when you're jealous."
He whispered, dipping his head to be nearer to her. She rolled her eyes and looked away, surveying the room as if worried someone might witness their intimacy.
"I am not jealous!"
She hissed, catching Jenny's eye and looking away quickly, turning back to him, pursing her lips slightly in indignation.
Still he smiled, pausing only to gently bite against his bottom lip. He remained like that, just looking at her, just smiling until she felt the faint hint of a smile tickle at the corner of her own mouth.
"That's better."
He touched a finger to her lips, tracing her smile, his fingers smelled of soap.
"Anyway, I got one..."
He dropped his hand back down to his side, tapping the long thin box that he had hidden in his jacket pocket.
She inhaled, sucking in a long slow breath, looking at him, her smile fading.
"You're expecting too much..."
She whispered, her lips barely moving as if she hadn't uttered a word. He drew up his shoulders in a slow shrug.
"Just do it...just, let's see."
He spoke quietly but even so she found herself stiffening as though he had shouted.
"Please?"
He added. She exhaled all at once, shoulders slumping, giving in.
"Fine..."
She looked pointedly at his pocket.
"Now?"
She asked.
"No time like the present."
He winked as he spoke, pushing his left hand back into his pocket, curling his fingers around the cellophane wrapped box.
"Where?"
She asked, watching the movement of his hand in his pocket.
"Follow me..."
He tilted his head, gesturing in the direction in which he turned, setting his coffee down reaching out for her hand which she took, gingerly holding his fingers, her stomach twisting, making her feel nauseas. She had been here before. The repetitive pregnancy tests, the scans...
Max held open the door to the disabled toilet, the only unisex one available.
She passed under his arm quickly, allowing him to slip in after her, watching as he locked the door. She felt the side of her mouth begin to twitch uncontrollably and it hurt her to swallow.
He turned to face her, pulling out the pregnancy test from his pocket and passing it to her quickly as if still worried about being caught.
She felt the warm cellophane beneath her fingers, the weightlessness of the box, and she thought for a moment how bizarre it was that this little box that weighed so little could weigh so much...
"Are we going to open it or just look at it?"
Max asked, his voice breathy. She glanced at him, could see the nervous tension in his smile, the way he stared, the way he held his hands...
She pulled open the plastic wrapping, screwing it up in one hand and dropping it into the grey plastic bin where it instantly sprang back into shape.
She opened the box, unable to look up at him as she did so, retrieving the small white stick and setting the box down on top of the toilet cistern.
"I have to..."
She gestured with the test to the toilet.
"Hmm? Oh..."
He dithered for a moment before turning his back on her, glancing back at her in the mirror that was now before him.
"I won't look..."
He murmured, averting his eyes to the corner of the room.
He heard the gentle scrape of the lid of the toilet and the soft click of the plastic end of the test being removed.
He smiled to himself, remembering the last time he had turned his back on her, in his room, at the beginning, before any of this...
The flush of the chain made him jump. He turned to find Zoe smoothing down the front of her dress, the test was placed neatly on top of it's box.
"How long do we wait?"
He asked, pushing his hands into his pockets as far as they would go and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.
"The box says 3 minutes, but from experience I'd say 30 seconds..."
She sucked in a breath, her lips were dry and her eyes flickered over to where the test lay.
"Do you want to look?"
He asked, looking from the test to Zoe who shook her head.
"Not really..."
She seemed to flinch as she spoke, the memories of all those other times, the hope, the desperation seeming to ball together in this one moment.
He stepped forward, not touching the test but merely leaning over it, reaching out a hand for her at the same time as his eyes rested on the result.
I'm so sorry it's taking me such an age to update x So busy x I will endeavour to do better! xxx