Part Thirteen: The Four Inch Summer

I had a growth spurt this summer, but after the inches I put on I don't think I'm going to get any taller. Fiona measured me at 5'11. I think I'm stuck there. To go with my new height I began working out more, and my freckles are starting to fade, at least the ones on my face.

I still work in the Kash 'N' Grab. Kash is rarely there these days and when he is a man covered from head to toe in a black burka is always right behind him. They go into the back room the way that he and I used to and the way Mickey and I did.

I'm sweeping the store when burka-man comes in. Kash comes down stairs with a suitcase. He stops and looks at me. Linda is calling for him over the PA. She has pre-eclampsia and is confined to bed until the end of her pregnancy.

"I can't do this, Ian. Just give me a head start."

"You're leaving? What about your family?"

"I can't live like this anymore."

You always were a fucking pussy.

"What do I tell your kids?"

He doesn't answer. He leaves with burka-man. I can't believe him. He's just like Monica. I sit there and stare at the door after he leaves. "Ian, where's Kash?" Linda asks over the PA. I lock the door much to her annoyance and go upstairs to tell her. She needs to be told in person.

"Kash is gone," I tell her.

"Is he coming back?"

Fuck you, Kash. You are a fucking pussy.

"I don't think so."

Linda starts crying. I offer to help her run the store. She offers me a raise in return for it.

"If it helps, I think he's a fucking pussy."

"I told you that you could do better," says Linda through sobs.

I leave her to her tears and run the store until closing time. I can't believe Kash. What did I see in him?

Lip is waiting to walk me home after work. I lean against him for a second and he pushes me off. I'm taller than he is now, and stronger. Lip puts his arm around me.

"Kash is gone."

"What?"

I go into impressive detail about all of it to him. Lip lights up a cigarette.

"He's a fucking asshole," says Lip, "Remind you of anyone?"

"Monica."

"Are you actually surprised?"

"Not really, no."

"So, I want to try to get back with Karen," Lip says.

I guess I am back to putting antibiotics in his toothpaste again. I don't want to worry about him catching something. Karen Jackson has the sweetest, albeit craziest, mother in the whole neighborhood. Karen takes that for granted. She's a bitch. She fucked Frank, and Lip still wants her.

I once said I couldn't hold Lip's taste in hood girls against him because I was in a sexual relationship with Mickey Milkovich, but I have to hold this hood girl against him. She dyed her hair black, and made a video of her fucking Frank. I saw the damn video. Mandy and I watched it. It was disgusting.

"Mickey gets out soon," says Lip.

Now there is something worth discussing, "Yeah, I know."

"Are you going to pick things up where you left off?"

"I hope so."

"You didn't fuck anyone all summer."

"Nope."

"What? You waited for him?"

"So what if I did?"

"That's loyalty man," says Lip.

Lip and I spot someone trying to break into Sheila's house. It's only Frank. Lip ignores it and we walk on home. He hasn't seen Karen in a while, but I know he doesn't want to go over there while Frank is there.

"I'm going to shower," I tell Lip when we get upstairs. We race to the bathroom. I beat him there and I shut the door behind me. I pick up Lip's toothpaste. He has his own because he got sugar rot and the dentist told him to use a special kind. I add some antibiotics and screw the lid back on. He'll never know. I want my brother to be careful.

I let the warm water fall over me as I think about Mickey. He's getting out soon and I will get to be with him. I close my eyes and image touching him. Running my fingers through hair, biting on his neck, feeling the growth of his dick beneath my fingers… My own dick is hard. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself. It disgusts me because my sisters use this tub, but I have to do it somewhere.

"Mickey," I moan as I finish. I step away from the drain and let my mess go down it. When it doesn't budge I wipe it up and try to get it off the bottom of the tub before my sisters use this.

"Are you seriously jerking off in there?" Lip asks. I throw back the shower curtain and he's brushing his teeth. Lip and I don't mind sharing a bathroom but a little privacy would be nice.

"I was," I say.

"Clean that shit up, Ian."

"Would you get the fuck out?"

"Clean it up," Lip says.

"I did! Jesus. Get the fuck out."

When I'm done showering I get on my knees and clean the bottom of the tub. It's kind of everywhere. I scrub it until there is nothing left. I'm so tired. Lip leans against the door smoking.

"Is it clean?"

"Yes. Fuck."

"Ladies first, Lip," says Debs bypassing Lip and shutting the door in his face. "Ew, gross. I hate having brothers!" She opens the door, "You are disgusting."

Lip and I burst out laughing. He slaps me in the back of the head, but continues to laugh.

"Sorry, Debs."

"Ugh, I can't believe I live here," She slams the bathroom door.

I lie down on my bed and think about Mickey. I get to see him soon. It's been two months. I should have gone back after that day. I know he told me not to and that's why I stayed away, but I should have gone back. He must have been so lonely.

Happy Halloween!