Was It Wrong To Go Along With Insanity?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and many of the places mentioned in this story. The plot is the only thing created by me.

Not too much left of this now. I'm not sure whether the plot bunny is going to come out or not. I can't decide whether its right for this story... Sorry for the terrible updating times.

Part 8:- Something to hold when I lose my grip

Harry

"Harry, answer me!"

"How can I? I don't know who you mean!" he stalled, knowing full well that she had guessed correctly. He owed her the truth of course but it was definitely going to hurt knowing that he was leaving her for a man they both once hated, despised even. To most, he was probably the most unlikeable and unattractive man in existence and Harry was not looking forward to attempting to explain what he saw in him.

"Snape. Is it him? Please tell me I'm wrong" she practically pleaded.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not wrong."

"Seriously Harry? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you have any idea how humiliating it is for me to be cheated on at all, let alone with one of my old professors? Someone that used to be a Death Eater?"

"Used to be" Harry repeated very quietly. Had they been any further apart, Ginny wouldn't have heard him.

"I just don't believe you would do this. I didn't think you could hurt me like this. You were everything to me Harry and if you can do that to me, then what chance do I stand having a relationship with anyone else?"

"Gin, I should never have done that to you. This isn't about something being wrong with you and it definitely doesn't mean that everyone else will do this to you. This is just me being a complete prick and I promise you, if anyone else ever did this to you, I'd be the first in line to hex him into oblivion!"

Harry reached forward and pulled the still crying woman into his arms, hating the fact that he had been the one to get her in such a state. He loved her so much but just not in the way that he was supposed to.

"I need time to myself now Harry. Please leave me alone for a while. I'll write to you when I'm ready." She pushed him off, gently, only a small amount of anger showing.

"I'm so sorry. Nothing I say will ever make this better and I hope you realise that losing you and the family that I love so much is by far the worst punishment I could get. I know I deserve it but I hope you realise how hard that is going to be for me."

"I doubt you're going to lose the family. They'll be pissed Harry but you've been a part of us for years, way before we even got together."

"I love you Gin."

"I can't Harry."

"I know" he said to the floor before kissing her on the cheek and leaving the room, almost re-entering upon hearing her uncontrolled sobs. He stared at the closed door, contemplating what to do next but it was practically decided for him when he turned around and had an angry looking Molly Weasley only two feet from him, hands on her hips. He didn't know how much she'd heard but he supposed that didn't matter.

"What's going on Harry?" her tone was slightly sharp, something he was used to hearing when she was annoyed with her children but never with Harry. He didn't know how to answer her and he even thought about apparating away from the situation but he owed the entire family more than that.

"As you're stood here, I'm sure you already know. I'm so sorry."

"I don't know anything. I don't make a habit of eavesdropping on my children; I trust that they will tell me what I need to know, which is why I am now asking you."

"I don't think you should be spending your time talking to me when Ginny needs her mother. The short of it is that we've just broken up and it's completely my fault. I have been an absolute… idiot" the last word was well-thought out, knowing how intolerant Molly was when it came to swearing.

"What have you done to my daughter? I have never heard her cry like that since… since…" she couldn't finish her sentence referring to her dead son and instead sniffed back her own upset.

"Can we take this downstairs? I don't think Ginny needs to hear it all over again. She needs some time away from me and I don't blame her." Molly eyed Harry suspiciously but followed him downstairs silently, hoping that he would respect her enough to tell her the full story.

"Right, are you going to tell me what's going on now? I didn't know that you and Ginny had problems. You are supposed to be getting married."

"Ginny and I don't have any problems per se. It's me that has the issues. Ginny is perfect. She is everything that you could ask for in a wife; she could make the most miserable man in the world happy. She's kind; she's funny and she's so beautiful."

"You're not making any sense. Why have you broken up if that's what you think of her?"

"Because, unfortunately, with my life having to always take the most difficult path, I have come to realise that I can't be with any woman in that way" he admitted, not quite meeting his ex-fiancé's mother's eyes.

"Do you mean that you don't want a relationship? That could just be cold feet Harry. You can't throw away what you two have because of that. It's an awful amount of pressure to have the whole world interested in everything you do and none of us will quite understand that but we can try. We will always do what we can to make it easier for you. Don't give up Ginny because of the rest of the world." Harry almost wished that his fame was the issue and that he could just take that advice on board and everything would be okay. Sadly, it wasn't and couldn't ever be the case.

"That's not quite what I meant. This is so hard to say to you. To anyone."

"Need a hand Harry?" Hermione asked timidly from the door, "I hope you don't mind but I've brought Ron down too. I think it would be easier to explain together." Hermione grabbed his hand and squeezed lightly, her actually-ill-but-slightly-milking-it husband followed her into the room and sat down, covering himself with blankets and looking at Harry.

"I can't say the words. I just can't."

"Yes, you can. The people in this house are the only ones that you have to tell. It's not anyone else's business but Mrs Weasley and Ron need to hear it from you. You know that's true" she encouraged.

"I know" he uttered before swallowing his fear and taking in a huge breath.

"Ron, I don't know what you know so I guess I should just let you know that Gin and I have broken up" Harry paused upon seeing his friend grit his teeth and could've sworn he saw him squeeze his fist a little.

"Ron" Hermione warned. She'd clearly already told him to hear Harry out before reacting.

"We can't ever get back together. She deserves so much better than someone that would hurt her like I did. I just can't stand having to tell you this but you need to understand how absolutely awful I feel. I'm going to give my explanation and leave because none of you should have to look at me again after this. I can't be with Ginny because I don't think I am interested in women." He stopped and looked at Hermione, who gave his hand another squeeze and nodded for him to continue.

"I think… well I guess I know that I'm gay. I wish it hadn't happened like this and I have found it so difficult to deal with. It has taken a lot for me to admit to this because I've been trying to ignore it or even change it for so long."

"Harry dear, you could've spoken to any one of us about this instead of letting it get this far. Things would have been so much easier."

"I know that and I hate myself for the pain that I've caused not only Ginny but all of you too. I just didn't want to feel this way. I wanted to be with Ginny and I wanted to be normal- just for once."

"Harry, being gay isn't abnormal. Don't think of it like that" Hermione reminded him gently.

"How do you know?" Ron asked bluntly, seemingly holding back something else.

"Well that's the worst part. I kind of had feelings for someone for a while. I tried so hard to fight it but it just didn't work. I lost control and…and I cheated." Once his confession came out, Hermione looked at the floor, as did Harry; Mrs Weasley on the other hand looked outraged and Ron jumped to his feet, turning immediately red and forgetting his illness.

"You cheated on my sister? You're supposed to be my best friend Harry! Fucking hell!"

"Ron!" shouted both women, scolding him for different reasons.

"You're right. I can't believe I let it happen. I feel so awful" he told the floor near Ron's feet.

"Who did you fuck? Tell me!"

"Please don't say it like that."

"Ron, calm down" Hermione interjected.

"Who are you telling to calm down? You obviously knew about this!"

"No I didn't. I found out today and told Harry to speak to Ginny immediately. It wasn't my place to tell you. Harry had to do that."

"You're my wife!"

"And he's your best friend. You needed to hear it from him, not me."

"I don't think I wanted to hear it from anyone. You shouldn't have done it. How could you do that to my sister?"

"You're asking me all the questions that I can't answer Ron."

"As much as it doesn't make much of a difference, you can tell me who. You can tell me who ruined my little sister's life."

"Firstly, he didn't ruin her life; I did a pretty good job of that on my own. Secondly, you will go mad if I tell you."

"You're pretty much running that risk either way Harry. Now tell me who the fuck you slept with!" Ron squared up to him at that point, looking fairly dangerous, despite his mother trying to hold him back.

"I slept with Severus" he said quietly, knowing that any other information was unnecessary and that no one would probably listen anyway.

"Snape? SNAPE?!" Ron demanded.

"Yes" was all Harry could respond with before being punched right in the face by his former best friend. He stumbled backwards but was supported by an angry Hermione, who glared at her husband for not being able to control his anger.

"Ron! That isn't helping anyone!" his mother shouted at him but had her back to Harry, seemingly unable to look at him. She wouldn't tolerate violence but at the same time, Harry was certain she was more cross with him for his actions than she was about her son lashing out.

"GET OUT!"

And he did. Fast.

Severus

Nervous wasn't the word for how Severus was feeling at that moment in time. Harry was going to be furious with him for confessing to his friend about them but she had been so pushy. Severus actually wondered to himself how his lover ever managed to keep his private life to himself with friends like those! He was certain that she would treat the information with caution and hopefully speak to Harry respectfully about it rather than accusing him and making him feel worse. Severus was certain that he'd made himself pretty clear about what would happen were she to act in that way. For now, he just had to play the waiting game; he couldn't contact Harry for fear of making things worse for him but it was killing him to know what had happened and where they would be going from there.

He had barely touched his dinner, despite only having made himself vegetable soup, fully aware that his worry would cause a lack of appetite. Sighing to himself about his wastage, he vanished the stuff and cleaned up after himself. He decided it might be best to try and settle down for the night with a book; hopefully his imagination would be enough to keep his mind away from Harry. It wasn't long before an owl arrived giving him something else to read: the evening copy of the Prophet. He had already assumed that it wouldn't be arriving, as it was well over an hour late by now. He glanced at the front page, thinking that there wouldn't be much of interest to him but he was wrong. Very wrong.

THE LION, THE WIZARD AND THE CLOSET

By Barry Genton

The Wizarding World has been struck by storm this evening by the devastating news of the breakup of Harry Potter and his almost-wife Ginevra Weasley. Since our report about the couple's engagement last week, it seems that many things have occurred, though of course the problems had begun long before. Mr Potter came to the Daily Prophet office this evening, unannounced, wishing to speak to a reporter. Of course, everyone assumed it was about the exclusive interview we had offered about his engagement. We were mistaken.

Mr Potter revealed to us that the wedding of himself and Miss Weasley would not be going ahead. Upon being asked if this were simply postponed for the present time, Potter responded that himself and Miss Weasley have ended their current relationship and that there would be no chance of any reconciliation. Once he had been questioned further, the saviour admitted that his preferences do not lie where any of us thought. It seems that Mr Potter has left his poor fiancé to pursue a life of homosexuality. Our thoughts are with the Weasley family at this time, as Ginevra appears to have been horribly used to mask Mr Potter's desires.

This reporter asked Mr Potter if this meant he was engaging in a relationship with another man to which he responded that it was 'a private matter' and that he will not be giving any personal information about himself or any man that he may or may not be seeing. It appears that whoever has caught the attention of the young Mr Potter is either someone very special that he wants privacy with or, someone to be ashamed of. We presume the latter considering Mr Potter's hesitance at following his chosen path any earlier.

The Weasley family refuse to speak with us at this time and understandably Miss Weasley is unwilling to reveal Mr Potter's secret partner.

Mr Potter's parting words were simply that the Weasley family, including his ex Ginevra meant the world to him and that he hadn't meant to cause this much pain. Too little, too late Mr Potter.

Severus stared at the article in shock. Not only had Harry confessed everything to the family that he was scared to lose, he had told the entire Wizarding World and had no doubt lost the respect of many of his fans and followers. Despite knowing how difficult things would be for Harry at that time, he still couldn't help but concentrate on the Prophet's question, was he someone special or someone to be ashamed of? He was certain that everyone would know the answer to that once they discovered who Harry had been with. There was nothing special about Severus.

Thinking that there was a little too much on his mind to concentrate on a book, he decided he was probably better off going to bed with a potion. If he remained awake, he would only be tempted to contact Harry and he knew that the man would need more time to deal with his situation. Reluctantly, he made his way upstairs by wandlight and shut his bedroom door behind him. Once he turned back, he realised that there was someone in his bed, curled up; he almost threw out a curse until he realised that it was Harry.

"Harry?"

"Severus" answered the man, sitting up slightly and revealing more of himself; Severus could see that he was injured.

"What happened to you?" he questioned, rushing over, spelling his bedside lantern as he did so.

"Ron" he responded into the pillow.

"How mature. Do you want to talk about it?" Severus asked the man, stroking his messy hair behind his ear so that he could see him properly.

"There isn't much to say. I'm sure you can imagine what happened and how it all went. Gin doesn't want to see me; Hermione stuck up for me but Ron couldn't quite control himself. I don't blame him. I deserve a lot worse."

"No, you do not. You've been through enough."

The older man sat himself on the bed next to Harry, feeling that it would be slightly inappropriate to simply jump into bed with him, despite it being his own bed.

"Do you mind me being here? Do you want me to leave?"

"Of course I do not mind you being here Harry. I am just a little surprised. You could have let me know that you were coming. I would have been a bit better prepared."

"I shouldn't have just come in here. You were out when I got here and I didn't want to be at home on my own. I definitely shouldn't have got into your bed but I was so drained from everything. I just meant to lay down but I fell asleep. This is so disrespectful."

"It honestly does not matter. Had it been someone else in my bed, I am certain that I would have reacted rather differently but you know that you are always welcome here. I want to help you if I can."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Why would I be anything but nice to you?"

"I've treated you so badly. I've done it to everyone I care about. I'm so pissed off."

"We have already been through this. You acted badly because you were confused and I am by no means saying that it was okay to do so but I can forgive you quite easily. I know it is difficult to accept such drastic changes in your life."

"You're too good for me."

"I am far from it and you know as much" he responded with complete honesty, "The things that I have done are far worse than anything that you have done. Cheating is not the worst thing that a person can do."

"Severus, I'm a cheat; I'm a murderer; I'm just bad news all around."

"I may not be a cheat but you know I have also killed and you are fully aware of all the terrible things I have done in the past. I will never accept that I allowed myself to do any of it but at the same time, I do accept that I am a changed man. I will never make those mistakes again. Perhaps you need to realise that making that mistake has shown you how you feel when you do not allow yourself to be who you need to be. You have a good heart Harry and you would never intentionally hurt anyone. If you are ever tempted by something that will cause someone pain again, I am positive that you will not take the opportunity because you have learnt from this experience."

"You're too bloody smart. Do you know that?"

"And you are far too stubborn."

"Do you still want to be with me?"

"I think you know the answer to that Harry."

"Then ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"Ask me to be with you."

"You could always ask me you know."

"Maybe I want to be swept off my feet" he sniffled as he laughed.

"And I would do that in an instant, were you not already off your feet. Harry, as I am sure you are doing this as some form of torture, as you know I cannot do this type of thing ordinarily, it is with great annoyance that I ask you to be my partner. Would you do me the honour?"

"Well with such a loving statement, I don't think I would be able to say no" Harry answered, kissing Severus lightly on the lips before pulling away in pain and covering his nose.

"If that is us officially an item, I believe I will have to take it upon myself to curse Mr Weasley into next week for harming you."

"I think some pain relief would do the trick."

Severus didn't take long to check over Harry's face, fixing his broken nose and force-feeding him a pain relief potion before dressing down for bed and climbing in next to his new partner. He still couldn't quite believe his luck; after his months of suffering, Harry was finally his.

"Severus?"

"Yes Harry?"

"I thought I remembered you saying that if I were to ever end up in your bed, you wouldn't be able to control yourself?"

"I most certainly did say that."

"You seem awfully controlled."

"When my partner has had such an ordeal of a day and a broken nose, I thought it would be best to allow him some recovery time rather than allow him to believe that I am only interested in his body."

"That sounds fair but maybe your partner would be happy for you to abuse his body in any way you wanted."

"You should know better than to offer me that Harry. I will take full advantage and your nose will not be the only sore part of your anatomy."

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and fuck me."

Harry

"Are you sure? You are already hurt and I would not want…"

"What part of shut up, don't you understand? Or is it the fucking me part you're not sure about?"

"I am perfectly capable of doing both of those things. However, I only intend to do one of them."

"Which…OOH!" Harry's question had been interrupted as he felt his cock suddenly grasped underneath the sheets; his boxers prevented any real attention but there was enough pressure for him to begin to get excited. Severus took no time in removing the clothing in his way as well as the remainder of Harry's items and soon enough, they were pressed together under the covers. Both men were desperately kissing the other, almost as though their tongues were having a very close duel; Severus eventually won over the control and growled his approval before grinding himself against Harry. The couple were both now fully hard and the friction between them separated the kiss, as the desire to moan aloud became too much. They lay side by side, facing each other with limbs entangled and somehow the position just allowed for their lower regions to touch in the way that they needed them to.

"Mmmm that feels so good" Harry murmured into his lover's shoulder; he was certain that the increase in speed along with the loud grunts meant that Severus felt the same. It surprised the younger wizard that pleasure could be gained from something as simple as friction, knowing that generally speaking it wasn't enough between a man and a woman but here with Severus, Harry was pretty certain he could reach climax just thrusting against him as he currently was. It suddenly dawned on him that he knew nothing about the kind of sex that he was engaging in; how the pleasure built up; the mechanics of the penetration or anything really. He was lucky he had a partner that seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

"Are you alright? You look thoughtful."

"I'm fine but yeah, I am a little thoughtful."

"Is it too much for tonight?" Severus asked, stopping his motions with concern, though Harry could tell from his hardness against him that he didn't particularly want Harry to ask him to stop.

"No it's not that. I want this and you know I do. Maybe we can talk about it after. I don't want to kill the mood."

His older lover clearly wasn't too convinced but resumed their previous actions nonetheless, biting down hard close to Harry's collarbone when his pleasure had built up. The green-eyed wizard had managed to settle back into things and was soon moaning along with each grind against his erection; almost mesmerised by the amount of pleasure that he could feel. Eventually, things had progressed and Severus had begun to slowly and carefully tickle his finger over Harry's entrance, causing small waves of both enjoyment and anticipation. The younger of the two desperately wanted his partner inside him but at the same time, he grew worried about how long he would manage to last, given his current level of arousal.

"Harry, you do not seem comfortable. I cannot continue while you seem distracted. It is not fair."

"Please don't stop. I'm just a bit curious. I was wondering whether…"

"What Harry? You can ask me anything."

"I wanted to try something but I'm not sure whether you would like to or not."

"What is it?"

"Well I wanted to… I don't even know if it's possible but can we… you know… like this?"

"Am I supposed to understand what any of that babbling meant?"

"Can we carry on like this? Would we be able to… you know… finish like this?" He quickly grew embarrassed.

"You want to know if we could climax together in this position?" Harry nodded in response and looked away, certain that his inexperience was most likely a turn off.

"Of course. If that is what you would like to do then I am more than happy. As long as you cum shouting my name, you can do it in any way that you wish." Severus smirked at the pleasantly surprised look that Harry gave him and climbed on top of him, spreading the younger man's legs and wrapping them around his waist. Making sure that they were in the perfect position, Severus lowered himself down and ground Harry hard into the bed. They both moaned out their appreciation. The dominant man took to kissing his lover's neck and holding him down with both arms; Harry couldn't have cared less, as he was in no hurry to escape.

After several minutes of rushed thrusting, neither man appeared able to hold back their desires as they met each other with every movement, increasing the friction to a new level. Harry was certain that if he were in his right mind, he'd feel embarrassed about his begs and mewls as he bucked up underneath his lover. Eventually Harry could no longer ignore the tight feeling in his stomach and harshly scratched his partner's back in an attempt to stop himself from climaxing too early.

"I am not far behind Harry. Let go" Severus panted into his ear. The permission had been enough confirmation and Harry erupted all over both their torsos and legs, not to mention covering Severus' cock, which gave in a mere minute later with the man repeating Harry's name into his shoulder. The bed was by far the stickiest environment that the ex-Gryffindor had ever found himself in, including when he was a teenager and woke up to a sticky mess himself. It was short-lived though, as he soon felt a spell sweep over him and suddenly felt fresh again. He wasn't entirely sure as to whether he was expected to cuddle up to his now exhausted and collapsed partner but he wanted to. Ignoring his worries, he moved closer and nuzzled Severus' arm with his cheek until he was pulled into the much stronger body and felt the arm wrap around him tight.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Much more than that. How are you?"

"Good. I mean… great."

"You are going to need to work on that vocabulary of yours."

"Sorry. I didn't think you would want me to say awesome."

"If you are referring to my sexual skills then I will certainly allow any compliment" Severus joked.

"In that case, you were fucking awesome."

"And you were mesmerising underneath me" he whispered into the man's hair before kissing his head, "now do you care to tell me what had you so preoccupied?"

"Well, like I said, I wanted to carry on like we were and I didn't know if that was okay."

"Why on Earth would I object to that?"

"It's not that. I guess I just don't know a lot about this kind of sex and I don't want to disappoint. I thought maybe just doing that wouldn't be enough for you and I barely know what I'm doing. I'm going to be shit at this because I just don't know what to do."

"You are rambling Harry. Do not concern yourself with such ridiculous thoughts. Anything that we do together is more than enough for me. I know that you are worried about your lack of experience but believe me, it will not take long for you to become used to it. Are you sure that this is what you want?"

"This is definitely what I want. I just hope you can be patient with me."

"I will be patient. You have my word but you are worrying over nothing. Everything we have done so far has been perfect and I am sure that eventually you will be able to be more confident in your actions but for now, I have no problem guiding you. If you want to try something new then we can discuss it. Do not ever worry."

"The first time we slept together, was I a disappointment?"

"No. Not at all."

"How could you enjoy yourself when I hadn't done it before? Wasn't I useless?"

"I enjoyed myself because I was with you. That is the most important part. I did not stop to think about how experienced you were; I simply knew that I wanted to be with you."

"I wanted to be with you too. Thank you." Harry smiled at his lover before settling back under his arm comfortably, feeling a weight had been lifted from his chest.