I lock myself in my room for the next two days, refusing to eat, refusing to talk. I know Pane is taking the news better than me, but he doesn't want to leave the house to go to the bakery like he usually does. I hear him next door a couple of times, telling stories with Mom as he tries to cope with everything he's heard. Dad and Mom try to coax me out of my room everyday. I don't respond, I just sit on my bed, wallowing.
One night I fall asleep, thinking of how much I hate Gale, how much I hate the past Capitol. I drift off into a dream which soon turns into a nightmare.
Mom and Dad are in the Games again. I'm watching on a screen in the Capitol. Suddenly, a fire roars. They run, as trees fall around them. They think they've made it out and their safe, but they don't seem to notice a tree falling behind them. I scream for them to move. I'm yelling for them to run. They don't move, oblivious to everything. Suddenly, it falls. It crushes them both, tearing them to the ground, burning their flesh, and skewing blood everywhere. I let out a cry of terror, when suddenly I'm behind held by arms around me. A voice is talking to me, saying everything is okay. I'm suddenly aware I'm not in the nightmare anymore, but in my dark room, being held by my Dad.
He's holding me close to him, whispering to me that he's here, that we're all safe. I open my eyes and cry into his shoulder, gasping for air, and just making out a knocked open door. I try to talk about the dream through my sobs, but I don't know how much he understands so I stop and let him comfort me. When I finally stop crying twenty minutes later, I'm still sniffling in his arms. He shifts, and I hear him talk.
"Try to go back to sleep, okay?" he whispers. I nod, but I can't stay here alone. I need security with me, that nobody is going to be taken away from me.
"Stay with me? Please Dad?" I whisper, holding on to him tightly. His grip tightens on me as if he'll never let go, as he lies down with me, kissing my hair.
"Always." He says. I can hear the love in his voice as I drift back off to sleep, finally feeling safe in my fathers arms.
I wake up in my room, which is filled with sunlight. Dad isn't next to me, and I look at the time. 10:00. Already at work. I stand and go downstairs, passing by my broken down door on the way out.
I can already smell bread from the staircase. I turn into the kitchen, finding Mom at the counter. "Mom." I say hoarsely. I guess my voice is lost from all the yelling last night. She turns, and looks shocked and relieved I'm out of my room, and I'm talking.
"Ivy." she says as she runs to hug me. Arms still on my shoulders, she says "We heard you last night. We were all worried, including Pane. I had to sleep with him since you stole my husband." she says with a hint of humor in her voice. A smile at her, but it quickly fades.
"I'm sorry Mom. This is harder for you than on anyone else. I shouldn't have reacted that way, I should have-" she cuts me off.
"No, I'm sorry. I should have told you, a long time ago. I just never thought..." I know what she's thinking. She never thought he would come back, she never thought we would have to know about him.
"It's fine." I say, hugging her again.
"You must be starving" Mom says. I nod and sit down at the table. She fixes me a plate of food, and I realize its Saturday. One week before Pane turns eight. I smile at the thought of a birthday, Dad making a cake, and Mom singing a song.
"Mom?" I ask. She turns around and questions me.
"Yes?"
"Can we go out today?" Buy something for Pane? I haven't got anything yet." I tell her. She smiles and remembers his birthday, but frowns after.
"Actually, I have to stay and get a package from the Capitol," she tells me. "But I think Haymitch is going to buy him a gift today! Go with him. He'd love the company."
Uncle Haymitch wouldn't usually enjoy company, but if its me or Pane, he would. He can get into arguments with us, but I know he loves us like we're his own. I'm reluctant to go at first, I had my heart set on going with Mom, but I change my mind. It's been a while since I've spent a lot of time with him.
"Sure Mom. I would love to go with Uncle Haymitch," I say.
With that, she brings me my food, and I happily indulge on two days worth of meals I missed. I'm finished soon, and while I go and take a shower and change, I try to forget about Gale for the day.
By the time my hair is braided and I have money for Panes gift, it's 11:30. I kiss Mom goodbye and head to Uncle Haymitch's house. Mom must have called before hand, because before I even have the chance to knock, his door flies open and a grumpy Haymitch stands before me.
"C'mon girl. No slacking today. How old is the kid gonna be? 5?,6?" he asks me.
"Good morning to you too," I tell him as we start walking toward the square. "And he's going to be eight by the way." He raises his eyebrows in surprise at that.
"Eight? But that means I'm sixty- " he sighs. "Yup. He's going to be eight. Jeez, I'm old." He shakes his head.
I laugh at his discovery of his age. He smiles also and seems pleasured that I still find him funny. "What did you have in mind for a present?" I ask him. We're now approaching Town, and 2 or 3 blocks away I see people walking in the street.
"Well, I was gonna get him some baby toy. But apparently he's eight. So I have no idea."
I shake my head. "You really don't know what to get him? Well, I guess I shouldn't judge. I don't know what to get him, either."
"Then lets sit in the square. Think for a while," he says. It's odd he wants to do this, Haymitch is more of an on the spot guy. Maybe he feels bad about everything going on, or maybe he just misses me being younger and us spending time together. What ever it is, I don't deny his offer, and we grab a table with two chairs when we finally arrive in the square minutes later.
We're quiet for a while, just thinking about who knows what, trying to find something for Pane. We're about five minutes into our silence when I see someone on the other side of the square. Someone who makes me want to crawl back into my bed, under my Dad and Moms protection. But at the same time, I want to punch him.
Gale Hawthorne.
I'm about to bolt, but Haymitch senses my movements, and puts a hand on my shoulder, looking at me directly in the eye with a patient look.
"I'm not going to be anywhere near that guy!" I snap at him. Anger courses through me as I see him settle down at a table near the cafe.
Haymitch looks at me pointedly and says "Sweetheart." This makes me stop for some reason. I look at him, and his hard gaze doesn't falter. Haymitch wants to tell me something. Was this his intention all along? I settle back down in my seat, and give him a questionable look, that tells him to go on.
He sighs, "Now sweetheart, I told you, this guy is no big deal. I'm about to argue that this guy certainly is a big deal, or so it seems to my parents, but he cuts me off. "I don't know why you're parents and you are making this huge. He's no threat."
"You don't know that Uncle Haymitch," I state.
"Well, I'm usually right about these things, aren't I?" He's right. Although Haymitch has a bad temper, and isn't exactly social, I have to admit that in all cases, he is the smartest guy I know.
"I'm listening," I say.
"I've known Gale for a long time. I watched him and your parents grow up for heavens sake. He wouldn't hurt you guys."
Haymitch may know this guy better than I do. No, he definitely knows him, and my parents, and me, better than I do. But I think he's overlooking something. I drop my gaze to a chip on the table. My voice is hoarse when I say "He killed Prim."
Haymitch's reaction is nothing like I expected "Oh, bullcrap. He was rash, he was angry with the Capitol, I wasn't expecting anything less then some death traps. But killing Prim? His whole thing was protecting your mother, why would he do the one thing that would break her? He loved her, and she loved him." WHAT? I look up at him with probably the most confused face ever. "Well yeah. She loved Peeta romantically, but she can't have a brother? You love Pane, don't you?" I nod. "Same deal. The point is, if I know anything about your parents, and you also, then this is thing is going to blow over fast, and Pane, of all people, will make you guys come to your senses. That boy, he is something special."
I contemplate what he says. I'm still not okay with Gale, but I don't think he's... physically dangerous. I'm not sure about the thing with Pane, but Haymitch is intuitive. However, in the midst of all this madness, Haymitch did something. It's funny really. I know what to get Pane.
I stand up. "C'mon Haymitch. We're pooling our money and getting Pane something amazing." He stands, and I take his hand. He raises his eyebrows at our clutched hands.
"Still can't cross the street by yourself?" he teases. I smile at his joke, and he smirks back.
Nevertheless, neither of us let go for the rest of the trip.