She sat in what was her office. Connie's office, waiting, turning over the earlier events.
Max had left the small cupboard that he called his office elated. Somehow the words had caught tight in her chest and she had been unable to point out the blip that she had heard. Perhaps she hadn't heard anything at all? Perhaps it had been a blip but one of the ultrasound instead...
She looked down at her hands. The whole room smelled of Connie, her perfume. There were no piles of paperwork haphazardly strewn about, the desk was polished, only her laptop placed square in the middle of it, lid closed, green light blinking at her from it's side.
Out in the corridor beyond she heard the nearing of heels, the unmistakable sound of Connie's staccato strut.
The door opened and Connie paused mid-step, surprise registering on her face as she realised Zoe's presence.
"Connie..."
Zoe stood, hands wrung tight together at her chest.
"What's wrong?"
Connie asked, surprising Zoe with her perceptiveness.
She closed the door behind her with a soft 'click'. Remaining where she stood, folding her arms neatly across her chest.
Zoe found herself smiling for reasons she wasn't sure of. She laughed despite herself.
"Zoe?"
Connie pushed, tilting her head, her dark hair tied in a loose knot at the nape of her neck, a few stray hairs were coming loose and curled about her shoulder.
Zoe shook her head, pursing her lips.
"Sorry..."
Was all she seemed able to say. She looked skyward again, for the second time that afternoon she felt the uncomfortable pinch in her throat, the swell of tears prick the corners of her eyes. She moved a hand to her lips, her chin creasing.
She blinked against the light, felt Connie move over to her, a cold hand on her shoulder drawing her into her. That perfume again, stronger now as her face buried into Connie's shoulder, her hands drawn up still against her chest, a knot between them, hard against their chests.
Connie wrapped her arms about her, silent and unmoving bar the gentle repetitive stroke of her thumb against Zoe's back.
She squeezed her eyes shut and felt the tears slither across her cheeks. The lump within her throat ached so much she found it too much to swallow. Still Connie stood, just holding her while she cried.
Eventually the lump seemed to ease. And Zoe, sniffing, began to feel the pain within her throat ease, the tears begin to slow.
"Shall I assume that you were using the ultrasound on yourself?"
Connie whispered. Her voice sounded different close up Zoe realised. She could feel it vibrating against her collar bone.
She sucked in a breath and nodded against her. Connie took a step back, easing herself away and holding Zoe by her upper arms. Her eyes were softened and she spoke in a voice Zoe rarely heard. A soft, calming voice that in turn seemed to soften her.
"The heartbeat..."
Zoe's voice cracked as she spoke and she felt Connie's fingers squeeze her arms.
"I thought you might be able to..."
She tailed off again. What did she think Connie would be able to do? Tell her what she already suspected? She had half expected Connie to dismiss her, or worse, refuse.
Instead she guided her back over to the sofa.
"Ok, Zoe?"
She let go of her as she spoke.
"I want you to stay here. Sit..."
She gestured to the sofa. Zoe sat down slowly into the creaking cold leather.
"Just wait here."
She said, moving to open the door, pausing with it half open.
"Max?"
She said simply. Zoe shook her head quickly.
"He didn't hear it."
She whispered. Connie gave a dip of her head as acknowledgement. Asking nothing else, just closing the door silently behind her.
Zoe barely had time to collect herself before Connie returned with the ultrasound machine, wheeling it one handed through the doorway. Seemingly much more practised at manoeuvring it than she had been herself.
"Sofa?"
Connie asked, looking to the sofa as she locked the door and began twisting the blinds closed so that any passers by would not be able to see into the small room.
Zoe hesitated before lying flat on the sofa, her feet elevated up over the arm of it. She watched Connie's fingers as she plugged the machine in, turned it on and plugged in the various wires.
She moved over to Zoe, wheeling the machine, taking hold of the scanner and the white bottle of clear jelly, waiting patiently while Zoe adjusted herself, lowering her dress from her shoulders so that it bunched about her hips.
"Bit cold..."
Connie murmured, squeezing the gel onto Zoe's skin with a satisfying 'plop'. The bottle wheezed and cracked as she let go of it, placing it back into its holder.
With a crackle of white noise Connie pushed the scanner firmly against flesh, pushing uncomfortably on her bladder, eyes expressionless as she watched the monitor. Zoe thought of Max all of a sudden. How excited he'd been...
She heard the muffle of sounds, somehow it was harder to differentiate between what was what when it was someone else using the scanner. She watched the screen, seeing the tiny flickering mass of cells appear again. She heard the thundering of the heartbeat. It seemed quicker than it had.
Connie shifted, pushing in further against her and twisting her arm to get a better angle, all the while remaining concentrated on the image before her. She froze the image and zoomed in, pausing, before zooming back out and resuming the scan. For a moment as she moved there was the galloping of two heartbeats, Connie paused again, Zoe saw her breathing change, she seemed to be holding her breath so as to hear correctly.
She moved again and the thundering of the quicker heartbeat disappeared, just the rhythmic thump of the slower one.
Eventually Connie removed the scanner and began wiping the end of it on a piece of paper towelling. Tearing off another piece to wipe the skin of Zoe's stomach.
"Well?"
Zoe asked, her voice sounding loud in the silence that the scanner had left behind. Connie wiped the gel slowly, carefully folding the paper over in order to use the other side of it.
"The foetus is perfectly fine. It looks as though you are roughly six weeks..."
She glanced up at Zoe, removing the paper and placing it in her lap, holding it with both hands.
"It was your own heartbeat that you heard earlier."
She said quietly.
More soon xxx