Days of Exile

Chapter 35 – Begging for Lives

11 January 0008

Professor Hojo grasped his hands together. "Well, what do we have here?"

This is not a good time to be defensive or aggressive. She advised herself. There is also no need to act innocent, he should know my true personality by now.

Meia threw a smile. "Good afternoon, Professor." She said brightly.

The scientist looked like he was in the mood to play along with Meia. "Good afternoon, Matilda," he said, breaking into a hideous smile. Was it her imagination or did Hojo look a little… different? "You seem awfully in a good mood."

"I was hoping that you have found no evidence that supports your suspicion," Meia answered honestly.

Her heart continued to sink when his face broke into a knowing smile. "We shall see about that." He hobbled to his table. "You have one last chance to confess your misdoings." Professor Hojo warned. He was fiddling with something on the table, but Meia could not see properly what it was. "You do not want me to force the answer out of you."

"Sir? If you want a confession, I suppose, the Turks would do a better job." Warner, the guard, offered helpfully.

Meia wanted to jab Warner in the foot. The last person that she wanted her true identity exposed to was Reno. That, she decided, would be a great humiliation, even if being discovered by Reno is a good solution. Then again… that idiot could very well never detect her true identity, and kill her as Matilda Ederfeld. Way to go, moron. She glared at Warner. You may just become a proponent of the irony – a Turk being killed by a Turk. Then, it occurred to Meia that it would not be something new to the Turks.

The scientist removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I need to talk to Heidegger to reprogram all of you dimwits. I clearly remembered that I made you SOLDIERs, not advisors."

Warner bristled at Hojo's hurting words. Clearly it was the first time he was meeting the blunt and insensitive executive. Scott, his more experienced partner, made a motion for him to control himself.

Hojo did not notice Warner's reactions. It was not his problem to care for the feelings of others. All he care for was the what was ahead – what he wanted. "So? What is your answer?" He asked Meia.

"I fear nothing, Professor." Meia said confidently.

The glower on his face showed Hojo's displeasure of Meia's silence. "Hmph. Does this look familiar?"

Meia stared at the dark grey ball in Hojo's thin, knobby fingers. It was not a ball, and when Meia realized what it was, she almost gasped.

Professor Hojo observed her reaction. "I found this in the basement of the Shinra Mansion just a few days ago. Strange," he said, twirling the rusty thing between his fingers. "I don't recall ever seeing this thing around."

If Meia's heart had been sinking since she saw Hojo, it had finally sunk rock bottom. Meia wanted to burst into tears. Why, of all things, was Tihan's metal bird with Professor Hojo?

I knew it! Meia groaned inwardly. I knew something fell off, but I could not locate anywhere in that dreaded mansion. Now I know. Great. Why couldn't I be more detailed when checking the area before leaving? There were many more things she blamed herself for, but it was all kept under the smooth expression of her face.

Professor Hojo was not to be fooled. "You are too quiet to be natural." He observed under his sharp eye. "Perhaps this belongs to you?"

Meia kept quiet. What should I do? If I wanted it back, it would be solid evidence that I was in the Shinra Mansion. But if I deny it, I will never get the bird back.

There was little time to consider the options, and Hojo was not going to give her the liberty of time to decide. "I guess I'll just throw it away. This worthless junk is not worth my time."

"… Give it back." She answered quietly. "It's mine."

Professor Hojo inclined his head closer, while two SOLDIERs visibly stood straighter. "What's that you said?" The scientist asked. There was no mistaking the gleam in his tiny eyes at the thought of his goal within reach.

"… It's mine." Meia repeated. "That junk is a metal bird. And you better return it to me."

"Do you realize what you have just done, you stupid girl?" Professor Hojo chuckled in delight.

"Yes." Meia gritted her teeth. "I do." But Tihan means a lot more than my freedom. She said in her head, hoping that her glare will bring the message across. So to hell with saving myself, I will not have the metal bird be in your filthy hands another minute longer.

"So… it is true?" Professor Hojo was practically twitching with excitement that she was giving in to his accusation. Meia wondered if Hojo had ever twitched; he twitched most unnaturally.

Meia sighed. The gig was up; pretending any longer will do nothing to help her. "Yeah, I did enter the Shinra Mansion."

"This is good," said Hojo triumphantly, rubbing his hands happily. He returned the metal bird onto the table. "With those two SOLDIERs as witnesses, we can deal with you accordingly. But first, questions! My favourite!" Meia pulled her lips into a tight line – a reluctant agreement. Hojo pulled out his own chair and sat upon it with a kingly pride. "I've already conjectured that you knew about the mansion through the sources in the Science Archives," said Hojo slowly.

Of course, he was wrong, but Meia was not going to correct him. She just shrugged and allowed Hojo to form whatever conclusions he wanted.

"The obvious guess would be that you did it in your week-long break." Hojo tapped a long, almost green, nail on the armrests of his chair thoughtfully. "What is most curious is your motivation. I am unable to think of any content in the laboratory that is of interest, or comprehension, to you." Meia shrugged again. Hojo's insults were no longer as hurting as before. "Can you enlighten me as to what you were looking for in the mansion?"

Hojo probably would not let her off so easily if she resisted, so Meia told the truth. "I want to find a solution to stop Meteor. Shinra had years of the most advanced research. Surely I could find something."

"Foolish. Stupidity beyond reason," muttered Hojo, rocking his chair back and forth. "Maybe it didn't cross your pea-sized brain that the mansion would be the first thing that we think of? So, did you find anything of use?"

"No-"

"Just as I thought." Hojo shook his head. "And I, being the head of the Science department, can vouch that there won't be anything of use."

Meia stared at him, thinking of the things that she ought to say. "I did find some very interesting things that YOU did."

"Oh?" replied Hojo as if it was the first time that he was hearing this.

"You are seriously as sick as I thought."

"Then tell me, you self-important one!" Professor Hojo spread his arms in a manner that resembled one who welcomed a challenge. "How am I sick in the mind?"

"You were…" She trailed off when she felt the SOLDIERs beside her tense. Horror sank its teeth into her heart. She could not afford to expose Hojo. The two SOLDIERs will be killed for it. She did know that whatever information that she intended to expose will be considered too confidential for their SOLDIER rank. If Shinra discovered that they possessed the knowledge she had, their lives will surely be forfeit. No, she thought in despair. I cannot jeopardize the lives of two innocent people, Shinra or not. "You are the lowest scum of the whole Planet," she growled.

The old scientist chuckled. "I would hardly think so." Hojo pushed up his glasses. "I prefer to be referred to as a creator."

"All you've created are helplessness and chaos."

"Everything is just a fine line between perspectives." Hojo sighed and rolled his shoulders. "Alas, boring conversations must come to an end. Despite your insolent and hateful remarks towards me, in light of your confession I shall be merciful to what you've done. You will be able to leave today."

Meia raised her eyebrows at him suspiciously. Hojo and mercy were two words that were not meant to be associated with. "What? Am I going to be released from here?" She asked doubtfully.

"Surprisingly, I thought you could comprehend my simple words."

For a moment, Meia felt her head a little dizzy and light. She could hardly believe her ears. Hojo was going to let her go just like that? Nevertheless, Meia thought that debating against his sudden surge of mercy would be absolutely dumb. "Well, thank you, Professor Hojo." She said. "I promise if I want to do anything again, I'll consult you first."

Hojo was mumbling to himself. However, to the two men, Meia heard him loud and clear. "Prepare the chamber," he said.

"Wait, what?" Meia exclaimed. "What chamber?"

Professor Hojo stared at her with exasperation, but it turned to understanding. "I guess I overestimated the inference skills of such a simpleton like you. You are going to the chamber to have your memories removed."

"You liar!" Meia screamed in protest. "I thought you were going to let me go! I cooperated and answered your nonsensical questions!"

"You will be free to go after your memories are wiped clean." Hojo took off his glasses and wiped them, obviously nonchalant about the entire situation and the captive's reaction. "You certainly have discovered too much to be harmless. But not a big problem if you begin a new life. Perhaps it's better for you, too." Meia stared at him, terror striking her heart like a pulse. "You were an interesting assistant, albeit a little useless at times. On good days, I would think that working with you was enjoyable."

"Don't give me that sentimental nonsense!" Meia screamed. "You don't have any right to take away my memories!"

"Memory removal or death," he said coldly. "Pick one." When Meia could not offer an answer, he turned back to prepare for the brainwash chamber.

So this is how they remove the memories of people and Turks. Meia thought with a shudder. Staring at Professor Hojo, her mind was caught in a dizzy of thoughts and possibilities… All of them returned to the one person whom she wanted to see now… If he even knew that she was in danger. If only he knew…

Don't be dumb, Meia. She sighed. As if we live in fairytales. As if Prince Charming will burst into the scene to save the day… As if Reno is Prince Charming… It stung when she recalled how Reno had flirted with Matilda, and denied having a girlfriend. It was miserable. To face possible death and still wonder if the person whom she had admired like her own disguise.

There she goes again. Daydreaming and thinking about every single darn thing except what was in front of her… which was technically, Hojo's oddly crooked back. I am going to help me get me out of this situation. She thought. Anything to stay alive.

I have no choice.

"Wait," she croaked. Meia quickly cleared her throat and called more confidently. "Wait!"

As Professor Hojo turned to her, Meia remembered how Don Corneo's voice was so alluring and charming. Although that was many years ago, she could still remember how liquid and rich his voice suddenly became when he was trying to talk her into… Well, whatever his plans were Meia did not know, because she quickly snapped out of it before he could continue. Now, she would try to emulate what she remembered, with Hojo. "Let's make a deal, Professor Hojo."

"I'm not interested," said Professor Hojo, with a flat tone. To Scott, he said, "Take her to the chamber, immediately." Getting a quick nod from the SOLDIERs, the scientist turned his back on her again.

Damn, thought Meia. I should've taken lessons with Don Corneo. Maybe he used Materia on me the other time… Meia decided to take the direct approach. "I offer myself to be your test subject!"

Finally, Professor Hojo turned slowly and regarded Meia with a new interest. "Test subject?" He asked condescendingly. "You think too highly of yourself. What do you possibly have that is of interest or contribution?"

"My photographic memory." Meia said, her lips trembling in spite of herself. "Use me as a test subject to upgrade your SOLDIER unit, keep me by your side. I can help you find ways to destroy Meteor… eventually," she added.

At the back of her head, she recalled Professor Timothy warning her against exposing her ability to anyone, especially Hojo. The Science department was extremely enthusiastic about sourcing new ways to upgrade SOLDIER, and having an improved memory would give them a better edge. Timothy's motivation for hiding Meia was more personal than professional. The Turks never questioned the scientist's integrity too, so that was how Meia was with Professor Timothy.

"I've kept you away from Hojo's eyes for so long," Professor Timothy said once during her yearly checkup. "Don't waste my efforts by being so high-profile in your Turk duties."

"I don't get it," commented Meia. "Not even to my friends outside the Turks?"

The second-in-charge of the Science department placed both hands on her shoulders. "No," he said firmly. "I won't risk anything of that sort. If Hojo ever notices what you are capable of, he will experiment on your brain. And you will never be the same again, literally."

The little Meia imagined a nutty, bespectacled scientist cracking open her skull to gain access to her brain. It had scared her out of her wits such that she always kept to herself and took Timothy's advice seriously. Now, as she was sitting in the chair, bound and helpless, she felt the same terror, doubled.

"Hmm," Professor Hojo peered at Meia thoughtfully. Meia tried hard not to look away from his uncomfortable gaze. "Stooping down to such resorts to beg for your life?"

Are you kidding me? Of course! She wanted to reply, but instead she said, "I am not begging for my life when I'm not in the wrong in the first place."

"Fool!" Hojo laughed. "The evidence has pointed out that you've trespassed, you are the deluded one!"

"I may have been wrong for trespassing without permission, but the fact is that you…" Again Meia stopped, deciding that the lives of the two guards behind her were still worth her silence.

To Meia's surprise, Professor Hojo laughed. He laughed so hard, his whole body shook. "How noble of you to run all the way to Nibelheim," remarked Hojo. "You are only a woman, a young woman at that. Lacking in intelligence and strategies." He smirked at Meia. "Why do you think you had the smallest chance of finding an answer? Who do you think you are?"

Meia stared at him with mock confusion. "I think I'm the hero… of my story." She grinned when Hojo frowned at her childish words. Only Jasper would know what she meant, given that he had given her the same advice when the Turks left Shinra. "I'm here to give the best I can to save the Planet. Even if I fail, I know that I've tried. Don't look down on me; I'm more competent than you think. Back to business, Hojo," she said impatiently. "I will not enter the chamber. Make me your test subject."

"None of my test subjects survived." Hojo stared at Meia. "I won't have you being my test subject."

"Why?" Meia exclaimed.

"You don't have eidetic memory. You are trying to escape using a false, weak excuse."

Meia really hated Hojo's sharp instincts, at least for spotting so accurately her rationale. "Really, Professor?" Meia scoffed loudly. "You know, you've scolded me for a lot of things, but were any of them due to my forgetfulness?" Hojo hesitated, clearly trying to find a time where she had forgotten something. He would never find anything of that sort. Meia never forgets.

"Remember that time when I retyped your notes and you were so upset about it, I gave you a new set of notes? I'm sure you realized that those were not your original notes, even if they were taken down exactly the way you did." Her smile grew when she caught the hint of recognition in his beady eyes. "And those times when I rattled any information you wanted offhand… Do you really think that I could do that by just preparing long and hard for it?" She smirked. "Admit it, Professor. You were impressed by that efficiency to recall information, if anything else… Now you know."

The scientist stared at Meia, but she knew that she was right. He frowned and mumbled incomprehensible things to himself.

"At least, run tests on me and you'll see… Or you can talk to Professor Timothy," she mumbled the last bit.

Professor Hojo paused at her words, mumbling. Then, as if being electrocuted by a shock of relevation, he spun around and grabbed Meia by the shoulders. Meia squeaked at the sudden action. "Professor Timothy?" He asked. His beady eyes were so wide they threatened to pop out of their sockets. "Photographic memory." He widened into a smile. "I know who you are."

It was Meia's turn to widen her eyes. "You… you do?"

"For the longest time, I've suspected that that ratty scientist had a new project, even though he told no one about it." He explained. "It was with much bribing and researching that I discovered that he was working with a child of eidetic memory."

Professor Timothy's warnings clanged against her head like metal pots and pans. Suddenly, Meia lost her confidence that she could survive. Perhaps the chamber was a better option.

"What is your name?"

"Huh?" Meia stared at him blankly. All her worries and concerns blocked out her senses.

"What is your name? Matilda… what?"

It occurred to Meia that Hojo did not bother to remember her name. Perhaps it was her last chance of protecting herself. Shinra databases had accurate information dating all the way back to the 1950s. Even if Hojo were to search through twenty years of her life, to sieve through those vast storages in soft copy and hard copy would take about three days of non-stop work.

"Matilda…" She stuttered. "Matilda Ederfeld. E-D-E-R-F-E-L-D." Now, she had two more days to escape… Before Hojo would eventually discover her lie and come after her for the truth… and worse.

Hojo chuckled in delight. "Now I will search all the databases to see where you have been in the last ten years." He mumbled audibly to himself. "Why are you suddenly here under my charge, after so many years? Ho ho ho… this is incredible. You're right… I still have use for you. Do you understand what wonders I am going to create with you?" Even though Hojo was excitedly mumbling to himself, Meia was absolutely terrified. "Yes, yes, you will be my test subject."

This time, when he turned to the SOLDIERs, he spoke hurriedly. "We will not use the chamber, boys. Bring this test subject back to its cell." The SOLDIERs stared at each other, but very quickly saluted and took out the ropes binding Meia.

"Professor," Meia said softly, still feeling uncomfortable about what she had done. "Please give me my metal bird back."

"Your metal bird?" The scientist's face widened into a nasty grin. "This metal bird belongs to a human whose name was Matilda Ederfeld."

Meia suspected the worse, but she could not help but ask, "Your point being?"

"Let me put this straight," Hojo walked around the little chair that Meia was sitting on. "You are my test subject now. That's it. What human rights? You have nothing in your name… You are nothing now."

All she could do was glare at him, as she confirmed her suspicions. "You planned it from the start, didn't you?" She snarled, wriggling out of her chair in vain. "Whether I admitted my deeds or not, you don't care whether the metal bird…" Meia trailed off. It was futile to argue. The metal bird remained in Hojo's filthy hands, and now she could never get it back.

"Oh, you figured that out. How smart." Hojo bent down and touched Meia's face, though his caress was more like caressing an animal than a girl. "You are a property of Shinra now. You are nothing but a contribution to my wonderful science."

Meia shied away from his touch with utter disgust. "I am Matilda Ederfeld." She declared, fixing a deathly glare at Hojo. "I belong to no one."

"Let's see you say those lines again after I'm done with you."

He is serious about this. I thought I'm supposed to get myself out of trouble, not deeper into it. Meia shook her head.

"Now, please, stop wasting my time." Hojo shooed the others away. "I have much work to do and many experiments to work on. I don't have time to make conversations with you."

"What experiments?" Meia frowned. "You should be finding ways to stop Meteor! Isn't Shinra trying to solve the problem?"

"Shinra's matters are of no matter to me. Neither is Meteor."

"What logic is that?" Meia rolled her eyes. "Seriously, if I weren't bound to this chair, I would really shake some sense into you." Hojo pushed his spectacles against his nose. His expression was less than amused. "You don't even have experiments, for Pete's sake!"

Meia paused, because Hojo grinned knowingly. There was an experiment; Meia was just not aware of it. He must have started it when she was kept away in her cell, or earlier. Meia was really sure that Hojo looked different. A little more… distorted than usual. In fact, he smelled different. Normally, he smelled of coffee and antibacterial wash. Today, he smelled more like… like how Zack smelled, if she could really remember. Meia raised her eyebrows. Hojo smelled of Mako and something more.

"Have you… Have you been…" Meia's gaze dropped to his arm. "Oh good Gaia, you injected them into you, didn't you?"

Professor Hojo chuckled gleefully. "You noticed, didn't you?" He rubbed his knobbly hands together. "I expected no less, considering that you've read and remembered all that I've written… all of it, didn't you?" Meia made no reply, knowing full well which reports that he meant. "It is as you say. Hmph. You do surprise me with your galvanizing spurts of intelligence and the frequent lack thereof."

"Why?" Meia demanded. She was utterly horrified to think that someone would willingly inject Jenova cells into his body. "Why do that to yourself?"

"Why are you so nosy about things that do not concern you?"

"Humor me."

"And I shall, since I'm in such a good mood." The scientist gestured at the two SOLDIERs, still silently standing behind Meia. "Look at these oafs! Simple Mako exposure and they are already at an advantage compared to their peers. It's no secret between you and me that SOLDIERs First Class get their Jenova cell injection for that extra boost. Why not work that on a brain then?"

Why didn't those Jenova cells mutate his body into obliteration? Questioned Meia silently in her head.

He mistook Meia's look of horror as a look of awe. He almost puffed up with pride. "Needless to say, I cannot find any brain that can match up with my superior intellect, so I only could use mine."

Meia took a deep breath; trying to get all that information in at once was too much to handle. She gave Hojo a withering look. "Of all the people and creatures I've met in my whole life, you are the worst of the lot. I believe I will never meet anyone else half as revolting as you are."

"Not a single bit of concern to me," tutted Hojo. "Go mind your emotions elsewhere."

"Shinra is quite the devil's nest, but you are the mother of it all. If anyone knew even ten percent of what you've done-"

Professor Hojo turned around. "Bring 'it' to the cells," he said to the SOLDIERs.

Fury bubbled within her. She was angry at Hojo, for all the nonsense that he had done. Half of the mess right now could be attributed to his 'scientific advances'. "Hojo, I swear someday you will pay for your inhumane experiments."

"If you can even tell me what I've done." Hojo shrugged. "Would you like to tell me?"

"Hey, girl," warned Warner. "You better watch your mouth. You are not in the position to speak to Professor Hojo like that."

"Why are you defending that heartless git?" Meia yelled, straining against the ropes violently. "He gave up his own-"

She stopped when Hojo leaned towards her and spoke in a voice that no one could hear. "You have done so much to keep your mouth shut. I'm sure you don't want them to suffer now, do you?"

Meia stared at Hojo in horror. He knows that I will not expose him, because of Warner and Scott!

"You are most free to blab your mouth to anyone you know." The older man grinned heinously, voice still soft to the oblivious SOLDIERs. "Their lives are in your hands."

"How dare you blackmail me!" She fumed, face red with fury and distress. With whatever pride she had left, Hojo stripped it away with his foresight and intelligence. It was a humiliation to her ego.

Hojo stared at her in a manner likened to an observer of a raving beast. "It is interesting that you are begging for lives of people not related to you. How far does your… generosity go? I will be sure to experiment on all of that when you come back."

"You are the worst person I've ever seen!" Meia sobbed. "Fuhito is an angel compared to you!" She screamed at right his face, relishing the moment when her saliva landed on his face. He turned around to wipe her evidence of anger off his face, still professionally ignoring her spite. It was all Meia could bear. "You scheming, heartless… cretin!"

The last word was the trigger, for the scientist could bear any insults except the ones related to his intelligence. He spun fiercely back at her, his beady eyes flashing with anger. Meia gave him a snarl that could equal his own. However, Hojo was the man with better control of his emotions than Meia.

"Hmph," said Hojo, straightening his laboratory coat proudly. "Perhaps the test subject is… a little hysterical. Bring it to the cell so that I can make use of it when it is at its best state."

"Yes sir!" saluted Warner and Scott.

"I trust that what you've seen today is of no recollection to you when you leave," Hojo said lightly as if commenting on their attire, but his uneasy gaze on them was the clearer message.

"… Y… Yes sir," said the SOLDIERs again. "May we take our leave with the… test subject?" When Hojo waved them away impatiently, they grabbed Meia, still screaming, crying and kicking. With a rough push, the SOLDIERs brought the 'test subject' and all their opinions out of the creepy place.

Yeah, this is seriously a long scene. The scene got bigger and bigger, and this is the result. And while I was proofreading it, I had many more thoughts and lines to add in. It was hard to break it up into two chapters because I needed the consistency of the story. Seriously, this would be the last chapter with so many words… at least for this year.

While writing this chapter, I reread one of my favourite author's story: Scribbler's "A Triangle of Many Sides: Book Two". It is this chapter 27 that really hits the spot for me on how Hojo can be so inhumane in his experiments. I being the star-struck fan, wanted my Hojo to carry that same honour over here. So I did, and if you took a look at her chapter, you will see it too. Needless to say, I'm nowhere as realistic as she is. But you must know, at least, that when it comes to Hojo and his insane scientific advances, Scribbler's Hojo is my inspiration.

Thank you for hanging in there so far with me! You have been such patient and wonderful readers! Do read and review, because that would mean the world to me!