Author's Note: The next chapter discusses destructive behavior and sensitive topics that for some may be triggering for some people. Please proceed with caution.

Fourteenth Chapter

"Abandoned Hope"

Auggie knew she didn't want to see him. But he didn't care. That phone call just seemed off. Annie was not herself right now. Immediately after ending the call with her, he made the decision. He didn't care that it would be almost midnight when he got there. He wanted, no, needed to "see" her. Annie had been at the rehabilitation center in Richmond, Virginia for a week. The first day he had arrived after lunch to help her settle in then spent the next day with her, but by day three Joan had needed him at work. He had come to visit her after work that third day, but he couldn't fool her, she could tell he was exhausted. So he promised to only visit on weekends. Now he could see that was not possible.

He knew visiting hours were over, but the rehab facility had let him come late before and because of his wonderful charm he knew he wouldn't be turned away. He had been working two delicate cases this week and Annie had insisted he devote his time to his operatives. He knew she was being practical and trying to look out for his well-being, but he was concerned about her, he had to know for himself that she was doing well. Talking on the phone with her periodically when they both happen to not be busy was not enough for him tonight. And he did not like how she ended their last conversation. She had said she wanted him to take a break from calling her, but that wasn't the Annie Walker he knew. He loved her and deep down her knew she loved him back. Neither of them had to say it. It just was. The Annie Walker he knew would never not need him.

It was just after 11:30pm when he walked up to the receptionist's desk smelling her perfume and pasta dinner. "I'm here to see Annie Walker. Is it too late to see her?"

"Of course, not Mr. Anderson. We've missed you here the last couple days. Annie has been having a great week."

"Thank you." He replied. Concern immediately washed over him. Did she have everyone fooled? Or was he really over reacting? Maybe he should have come more. He knew how hard all this was on her-after all he had been through rehab himself. He understood how easy it was to push people away and how grateful he was to those who stayed to support him despite his pushing them away. He now needed to be there for Annie, despite her suggesting her needed space.

Upon getting off the elevator he immediately had an overwhelming feeling that something was wrong. He picked up his pace slightly, running his hand over the room numbers to insure him that he didn't pass her room.

When he reached her room, he knocked gently and waited for a response. She couldn't be asleep could she? Annie was not usually the type to go to bed early, but maybe she was on a different routine here. He could understand how that could happen given what she was going through, but still it was suspicious. He had been on the phone with her many nights since she got here much later than this. He knocked again a little louder as he paused to listen for an answer. He paused at the door open calling her name as he entered. "Annie? Are you here?

He felt his way around the room, sweeping his cane from side to side to guide him into the semi-familiar room. He had been in her room about a dozen times, but he never knew if they might have to have more equipment or something there to assist her in her rehabilitation process. He first went to the bed, where she usually was when he arrived in the evening. Was she playing some kind of game with him? Trying to be as quiet as she could, watching him as he searched for her? Or was she simply asleep in the chair on the other side of the bed. He made his way over to the chair next. Darn, where could she be? He thought as he discovered the chair empty.

He took a moment to stop and listen. He heard the drip of the faucet in the bathroom, that wasn't unusual; she often left a slight drip accidently. Maybe she had fallen and was lying unconscious in the bathroom? He carefully made his way through Annie's room to where the bathroom was. The room was quite large; it had to be to accommodate ample movements from a wheelchair. He tapped his cane cautiously, Where could she be he thought to himself over and over. Just then his cane hit something unexpected. He hasn't been in this bathroom too many times, but he knew this wasn't right. He bent down to assess what was lying in the middle of Annie's bathroom. What he found sent him into action at once.

Annie lay on the floor, wheelchair in the far corner. Auggie didn't have time to analyze the cause of Annie's predicament. First checking for a pulse and breathing, he found a very weak pulse and a chest NOT rising. He rushed into action, finding her mouth gently; he carefully used two fingers to check to see if anything was blocking her airway, there wasn't. He then gave two rescue breaths, the made his way down toward her chest. He knew he needed to be extra careful. Her heart was still weakened from the gunshot she took to the chest and surgery that occurred afterwards. He started chest compressions while simultaneously yelling for help.

"Help! I need some help in here! HELP!

He knew there was a panic button on the wall somewhere, but he was afraid to leave Annie to search for it. After 15 chest compressions, he found her mouth again and gave two rescue breaths. She still wasn't breathing on her own, but he hoped keeping her body in the motion of it would be enough to keep her with him.

What had happened to put my Annie in this predicament?" Auggie thought as he started chest compressions again and began yelling for help again. His mind was racing with possibilities, but he couldn't let his thoughts slow him down. It seemed Annie's life hung in the balance here. He needed to concentrate on giving Annie CPR and getting the proper help she needed. He continued yelling for help as he alternated between careful yet precise chest compressions and rescue breaths.

Finally, his pleas for help were answered when a nurse came running in. "What the hell happened?" she stated plainly. Auggie continuing chest compressions simply stated "I don't know. Can you please help her or is she" he couldn't finish that question.

The nurse quickly hit the intercom by the toilet, announcing a code black in room 209. Auggie wondered what that code meant. The nurse put her hand on Auggie's shoulder gently.

"My name is Adasha. I will take over here. How long have you been administering CPR?"

"I have completed five sets of compressions and breaths. Her pulse was almost too weak for me to detect when I found her. If I had sight I could have found her faster" he said with great concern. Just then more people came into the bathroom, pulling what he assumed was various equipment to help Annie. Feeling very much in the way he backed himself to the far wall near the sink. He wanted to be out of the way completely, even out of the room, but he wasn't sure where his cane had landed when he started working on Annie or where it was now. He was certain that he could not navigate around all the people and equipment now in the room that he could not see. He thought about asking for help, but he couldn't take their attention from Annie, not even for a second. So he resigned himself to stand there, listening intently to see if he could gleam from their conversations what had happened. He would soon learn what 'code black' meant as he heard the nurses conversing over Annie.

"Do you know what she took?" One nurse asked Adasha

Adasha replied "No, but by the empty containers on the cabinet, it was a variety of everything she had."

At that moment, Auggie felt his knees go weak. What are they saying? Annie had tried to kill herself? He sank himself to the ground where he stood, no longer trusting his legs to support him. This seemed impossible. Could his adventurous, danger seeking, impulsive, stubborn best friend really have given up on life completely? Will she make it or will she be successful on her quest for destruction? Will she resent him for saving her? His mind continued to race as he heard the nurses working on Annie.

"We have a pulse." He finally heard a nurse say. "It is weak, but there. She seems to be breathing on her own now, but she is not conscious. Let's get her back to her bed and do a tox screen to see what she took so we can counteract the affects."

Auggie couldn't believe what was happening. He heard feet moving, equipment whirling, and wheels swaying as he assumed they were moving from the room. However, he couldn't bring himself to try to follow. He just sat there, legs crossed under him and listened to the people coming and going with equipment, cleaning supplies, and then themselves.

Auggie was suddenly thrown back into the memories of his own rehabilitation experience and when he thought about committing suicide. Once, when he was deeply depressed, he had given up. He had thrown his cane down and walked into oncoming traffic. Cars swerved, honked and screeched to a stop around him. Becoming overwhelmed with all the sounds around him, he simply threw his arms out and waited for a car to finish the job that the bomb had not. Luckily, a random stranger pulled him out of the way of an approaching car before it was too late.

Of course, he had known men in his division to speak about suicide. As an officer of his division, he had been taught the warning signs. Auggie had known soldiers in other divisions who had been successful in their attempts at suicide, but no one in his platoon had exhibited any signs. Had there been signs that he missed with Annie?

Several minutes passed as he got lost in his own thoughts. Auggie suddenly felt a hand on his arm. "Excuse me sir, I though you might need help reorienting yourself. Here is your cane; you are in the far left corner of the bathroom. Would you like me to help you out?"

Auggie was unsure of his surroundings and usually he would just use his care to explore the area until he was out of the unfamiliar room, but with the inability to think clearly and the lack of desire to run into anything he accepted the help. "Can I ask what happened to Annie?" Auggie stately simply as he allowed himself to be guided from the room, not caring that they did not use proper sighted guide technique. His thoughts were only on Annie right now.

Auggie knew that he was her handler, emergency contact, and best friend, but he wasn't sure how much they would tell him. He sat in the chair he was led to bracing himself for the worst.

Auggie was aware of machines beeping and whirling close to him. He wondered if Annie was here or if she had been taken to another room.

"Certainly sir, you are August Anderson, correct?" After a quick nod from Auggie, the nurse continued "You sir, are the only person other than Annie herself, authorized to receive medical information. We got her back, it was touch and go for a minute or two. You did an excellent job keeping her body going despite her heart stopping. I don't think she would have made it without your intervention. She is lucky to have such a loving husband in her corner."

This assumption took Auggie by surprise as he simply stated "I'm not her husband. We aren't even dating. How is she now? What caused her heart to stop? Will there be any permeant damage?"

Auggie could tell that the person in front of him was uneasy with answering his questions. "I can ask someone else if you don't know." Auggie stated calmly as he could. Truth be told he was annoyed by this person's hesitation and could sense she didn't really want to talk with him.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson. My name is Kendra. I'm still in training. I haven't had a lot of experience speaking with families of patients yet. I was just told that you were in here, blind and probably confused. I was instructed to make sure you were okay. But I think I can answer your questions if you still want me to."

"Go ahead." Auggie stated, not wanting to wait for someone else before he knew what was going on.

"She is in critical condition. We are still not sure what she took, we were able to pump her stomach and were able to remove some of the drugs from her body, but there may be permanent damage. We won't know until she wakes up, if she wakes up. She is in a coma right now. Her pulse is weak but there. Her breathing was shallow and labored when a pulse was found. We have a breathing tube assisting her now. She is on IV fluids right now, but no other medication until we know what was taken to put her in the condition she is in. Once a tox screen is completed we will try to counteract the affects of the drugs running rampant in her system. We will be moving her to Georgetown University Hospital in a couple hours. We don't know a prognosis yet because we don't know how long she was out, what she took, or even if she will make it. The next twenty-four hours will be critical." Kendra told him.

"It is clear she was more depressed than we thought. She did a good job of hiding it. We are usually more in tune to these things, as I'm sure you know, depression comes with the territory of a new disability." Kendra added.

"Can I ride with her to the hospital? I don't want her to be alone." Auggie said.

"Of course, we will let you know when the time comes."

As he heard Kendra leave the room, he began thinking about his own time in rehab. It had been the most difficult time of his life. Coming to terms with his disability had not been easy. He had thought about suicide, but never attempted it. Sure, he had wanted his life to be over, but with the help of his instructors, family, friends, and doctors, he had realized that life could go on despite his disability. Would Annie realize the same thing or was he fated to lose her to herself?

As he went with Annie to the hospital he now understood that the past few days had all been a lie. Annie was not doing well. If she was depressed enough to attempt this, how could he not see it? She had lied to him every time he asked her how she was doing. He had assumed she was telling the truth and what's worse; he did not catch on at all. He was usually very good at telling when people were lying to him, but this time, all of his senses failed him. They failed him when it counted most.

One thing was certain, Auggie had to tell Annie how he felt. How he felt about everything. As his mind continued to race with what this would mean for Annie he had a growing desire to protect her. A growing desire to be with her. To hold her in his arms.

Thank you for reading. Please, pretty please, review.