Part Thirty-One: Group Home Blues

Mickey finally fucking kisses me and CPS comes and drags us away from Fiona. When I find out who fucking called CPS they're dead to me. They split us up. Debbie is the only one alone this time. She's probably fucking scared. At least Carl will take care of Liam and I have Lip.

"I got your back," Lip tells me. He forgets I can kick his ass so how is he going to protect me. I pat the back of his head for the thought. "Give me your money."

I hand him all that I have, which isn't much. Lip is a survivor. We could be tossed on the streets and Lip would survive. He's like a fucking cockroach in that regard. He can adapt to any environment. I cannot. It's so crowded here and there is no privacy and boys keep staring at me.

"What if they try to kill us?" I ask Lip.

"Have you learned nothing from fucking Mickey Milkovich?"

What would Mickey do? Mickey would fight to the bitter end. He would stand his ground. I lean against my bunk and take notice of my surroundings.

"Is that your boyfriend?" A boy asks Lip.

"He's my brother," says Lip. He gives the boy money to walk away and leave us alone. I glare at him. "Do what you must to survive," Lip pats me on the stomach.

"So what the fuck do we do?"

"We try to find out where they took Carl, Liam, and Debbie. Then we get to Fiona. If they let you out to work, Ian, get word to Fiona through Mickey."

"I'm glad you're the smart one," I tell Lip.

This place is fucking terrible. There is no privacy. We're all in one room. I'm afraid I'm going to get stabbed. It's difficult to sleep the first night. I fear if I close my eyes I'm not going to wake up. Lip is asleep. He could sleep anywhere. He gets it from Frank.

"Yo," says the guy in the bunk next to mine. I don't make eye contact. "I'm talking to you."

"Please don't," I whisper.

"How about a blow job?"

"Fuck off," I say.

"Come over here and suck my dick."

"Go fuck yourself."

He shuts up. I hope that doesn't come bite me in the ass. Why am I being such a pussy? I climb up to Lip's bunk and try to wake him. He scoots over and I slide into his bed. It's a tight squeeze, but there is no fucking way I'm sleeping alone. It is easier to sleep this way, next to my brother.

I sneak back down to my bed in the morning before anyone notices. When we're forced up I am sitting up in my bed. Lip jumps down and smacks me on the leg. He gives me a smile.

"So you, uh, slept in my bed," Lip says, "at least I hope that was you."

"It was me. I'm sorry," I say.

"Whatever helps, you know."

"Thanks."

"Maybe they'll let us out of this fucking place for a few hours. I need to fucking smoke."

They at least let us wear our own clothes. For that I'm glad. The water pressure is fucking terrible but the shower is at least clean. I join Lip for breakfast, if you can call it that.

"I hear you have a job," says the man in charge during breakfast. He hands me work release papers. "All we need is proof of employment and you're free to go to work."

Until then they put us to work in the group home. The boys who had jobs left for them, some had summer school or training of some kind. So Lip and I worked in the laundry room together.

"I'm going to get us out of this," says Lip.

"Who do you think called?" I ask. The question has been on the back of my mind since it happened.

"Who the fuck knows?"

"What will you do when you find out?"

"Break their fucking jaw," says Lip. He sneaks a cigarette. I am happy he does. He's getting a bit moody. I'd rather him have his fucking nicotine than snap at everyone who approaches him like he's a chained up dog.

They do let us out as a group, but we're not allowed to leave the premises without permission. Lip and I sit on the porch with a few other guys around and we stare out onto the street. A black boy runs to the gate to see a girl who is standing on the other side.

"I'm going to sneak Mandy in," says Lip, "You want to bring in Mickey?"

"He'd never go for that."

"Cheer up, Ian. It's not the worst thing that's happened to us. Remember when you stayed with that really religious family?"

The memory brings about laughter. That was a lot worse than this. They forced me to go to church and I had to kiss a girl, it was awful. "So uh, Mickey kissed me."

"Sure took him long enough," Lip says lighting his second cigarette.

"We robbed Dr. Lishman's house and he ran back to the van and kissed me."

"You robbed Dr. Lishman? Where the fuck was I?"

"Don't tell Jimmy."

"I won't, but I'm impressed. My little brother robbing houses with Mickey Milkovich, I'm so proud of you." Lip rubs my head. I laugh and nudge him with my arm.

"Then Mickey got shot in the ass," I tell him.

"That's why he was in our house yesterday."

"I really want him to kiss me again."

"So go for it, man."

When it's time to come inside for lunch I stick close to Lip. The man in charge sits down across from us and hands me some papers. "Your proof of employment came through so you're going to work tomorrow. Get your manager to sign this. Lip, you have community service. If you miss the bus I report you to a social worker. Ian, you're an exception."

I nod. I am happy to have a reason to leave. I really just want to get out of this place. Lip and I need to find our family. We have to get the family back together.