Hello again, fannibals! Welcome to chapter 13, I hope you enjoyed last chapter.

Sorry for keeping you all waiting that long! Life has been really hectic, and my exams are starting next week, so it could be three weeks from now when I post the next chapter. Sorry!

You might have noticed, I've started a second fanfic. That one is about the TV-show Supernatural. So if you're a fan of the show, you might as well check it out :)

ATTENTION: From next chapter on, the rating will be changed to M. So if you're a silent reader, you won't find it in the T section any longer. (But please, don't be a silent reader? c: )

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited this story!

This story is being beta'd by the fabulous DoeEyedDarling :)

And now, onwards with the story!

Chapter 13: Tides Will Bring Me Back To You

Don't try to fight the storm, you'll tumble overboard.

Tides will bring me back to you.

~"Bring Me The Horizon" - Deathbeds

It was dark outside when I woke up, and I guessed it was the middle of the night. But the room wasn't completely dark, as the light of a street lamp shone through the open curtains. I stretched out, freezing when my hand touched something beside me. I opened my eyes and turned my head.

Hannibal.

He sat beside me, his back against the headboard, his legs stretched out and his hands folded in his lap. His chest was rising and falling in a slow pace and his eyes were closed. He was sleeping - or, at least, he looked like he was asleep.

I pulled my hand back and turned on my side in a more comfortable position and settled with watching him, to make sure he wasn't going to do anything funny.

He looked different when he was asleep. That predatory look was gone. He looked peaceful, less torn, less monster, more…human. I found myself being fascinated with the way he looked at that moment, on my bed in the dark room. His neatly combed hair, which I wanted to ruffle up, make messy. His always fancy suit, though he had taken off his vest and waistcoat, and was lying next to me in his trousers, shirt and shoes. I wanted to unbutton his shirt a bit, to expose some of his chest. His lips, which looked very kissable –

"Dammit, Tori, stop that!" I hissed at myself. What. The. Hell. Was. I. Thinking?

You know what he is, what he has done, you shouldn't be thinking about him in that way!

Why was I even thinking about him in that way? I felt utterly confused. I didn't have feelings for him, or did I? No, I didn't. I couldn't have. It was just not possible. Not again. Not now I know everything about him.

He started to stir, probably woken up by my hiss. He opened his eyes and yawned. That was an odd sight - I didn't think I had ever seen him yawn. I couldn't hold in my laugh.

He looked at me, shocked. "Why are you laughing?"

"It- it's just..." I laughed. "I've never seen you yawn before, it looks so normal when you do that, but you're completely not normal..." I ranted while I kept laughing.

Dammit Tori, get a grip of yourself!

"And I must be going insane if I think that's so damn funny," I nearly shouted. I dropped my head on the pillow and pulled the sheets over my head, finally managing to stop laughing.

Even under the sheets, I heard his soft chuckle. Did he just fucking chuckle? I had imagined him to be furious or something.

"You are not insane, Tori. You're just being you, the way you've always been. The way I remember you to be," he said. His voice softened and sounded tender at that last part. He slowly pulled the sheets from my face and looked me in the eyes. "I'm glad you're becoming the Tori I know again."

I swallowed while I stared back into his maroon eyes. I didn't know how to answer that, so I just remained quiet. He kept looking me in the eyes, and his expression surprised me. I could have never expected to see a look like that on his face. It was soft, loving and filled with fondness.

To be honest, I felt myself grow warm under his look. He was the only person, apart from Will, who had ever looked at me like that. It wasn't unpleasant.

His face slowly came closer to mine. That brought me out of my trance.

"Please, don't," I whispered, not trusting my voice to speak any louder. Because, the truth was, I kind of wanted him to kiss me. I remembered the way he had kissed me when we had still been together. He was a really good kisser, and part of me was kind of curious to see if he still kissed that way. This was exactly why I didn't let him kiss me.

First of all, I didn't love him, so wanting him to kiss me was just wrong. Secondly, I had to remind myself to go slow, I was acting, playing a role to get out of here. I needed him to trust me. If he didn't trust me, I wasn't going to get out of this room.

He nodded in understanding, but his face saddened a bit. He stroked the hair out of my face and got up, walking out of the room. He locked the door behind him.

Although I had rejected his kiss twice now, I knew he still had hope. He still hoped for us to be together again. And that hope was exactly what I needed to keep going. If he didn't have that hope…Well, I'm not exactly sure what would happen. I wished I could think he wasn't going to kill me, but I wasn't entirely sure of that. So I could still go slow, but not too slow. He's a patient man, but I shouldn't push it.

I got up from the bed, although it was the middle of the night. But that didn't matter, I wasn't tired anymore. I took a quick shower and got dressed.

When I came out of the bathroom, a plate with food stood on the desk...but no Hannibal. I shrugged and sat down at the desk, looking at what he had brought me. It was breakfast, I had no other way to describe it. Pretty funny, it being the middle of the night and all. I had gotten an omelet, mixed with sausage and bacon, and some toast with butter and a glass of juice on the side. The food was still warm, and smelled delicious. I knew the sausage and bacon were not…not what they were usually made of, but I didn't hesitate this time. I ate the entire plate without doubting, and afterwards I drank the glass of juice. Delicious.

Again, I thought about how I should feel something about eating...that food...but, again, I felt nothing, and it started to bother me less and less. I mean, why should it? It tasted good, and no one knew about it, except Hannibal - and I had a pretty good feeling he wouldn't say anything.

I sighed, utterly bored again. There were no books in this room, neither was there any paper, so I couldn't draw, either. What else was there for me to do?

Exactly.

Nothing.

Maybe I could ask him to bring me something, like a book or a magazine? Or maybe some paper and some pencils. I just wanted to do something.

A sad smile graced my face as I thought about Will. He had always laughed at me when I had been bored.

"You're so cute when you're bored, you know that?"

I wondered what he was doing right now. Was he looking for me? Did he miss me? Wouldn't he have suspected Hannibal to have taken me? Probably not. Will thought everything was okay between Hannibal and me now. He hadn't known about the little game I had played with him, the fact that he loved me, and neither did he know about all the things he had done or what he was. There was little reason for Will to suspect Hannibal.

I looked up to the door when I heard a key in the lock. Hannibal walked in, this time neatly dressed in his three-piece suit. I glanced outside the window. It was slowly clearing and becoming morning, indicating I had been sitting there for longer than I had thought.

He walked over to the window, looking outside at what was looking to become a beautiful morning. He hadn't said a word since he had entered, and I thought about what I had been thinking before he entered my room.

"Uh…Hannibal?" I asked softly.

He turned to me, his curious gaze resting on my face. He still didn't say anything, and I took it as permission to ask him something.

"Could I get something to keep myself busy with? Like a book, a magazine, or even some paper and pencils so I can draw? I'm just so bored here with nothing to do."

While he watched me, I saw an amused glint appear in his eyes. "Another part of the old you, there is not a day that goes by without you being bored," he chuckled softly.

I smiled hesitantly at him, not sure how to respond.

His face became serious, and even apprehensive, when he spoke again. "I was actually thinking of letting you out of the room." He watched me closely, seeing as to how I would react. The shock and surprise I felt must have been clearly visible on my face, because he quickly added, "Under my vision of course, and not all day, but I think it wouldn't do any harm to let you out once a day."

"Really? Thank you!" I smiled brightly at him. One more step in the right direction…

He smiled warmly at me. "But we'll wait till after my patients have left, all right? Because my first patient will be arriving in an hour."

I nodded, still feeling the thrill of excitement. I was going to be out of this room!

"I'll bring you your sketchbook for now," he said, and then he left the room.

Sketchbook? What does he mean?

I shortly realized he must have meant my sketchbook from the time I had been living here, which I had obviously left here when I fled.

He brought me my sketchbook and some pencils, and after a quick kiss on my temple, he left the room with the promise to let me out when he was done with his patients. Still sitting at the desk, I turned to my sketchbook. I opened it and looked through the drawings.

The first one was one of Hannibal's house. I remembered drawing that. It had been freezing outside, but still I really wanted to draw it. And, stubborn as I was, I did. I had been sitting on the opposite side of the street on my bum for hours drawing this house. I chuckled at my own stubbornness. At one point, Hannibal came outside, after having seen me through the window of his office. He almost begged me to go inside, but after a while of me telling him I wouldn't move, he just sighed and draped a blanket over me. When my drawing was finally finished, and I went back inside, a cup of the most delicious hot chocolate I had ever drank had been waiting for me on the kitchen counter. I sat at the table, drinking my drink, when I felt a pair of strong arms slip around my shoulders, pressing me gently against him, and with his head on my shoulder, he pressed a kiss on my slowly warming cheek.

I couldn't help but smile at the memory.

I flipped the page. The second drawing was one of Hannibal sleeping. This had been in March, if I remembered correctly. Hannibal had been working at his desk, while I was sitting in one of his comfy patient chairs, reading a book. After a while I noticed he had fallen asleep, and I silently fetched my sketchbook. He was sprawled over his desk, his head on his arm. I wanted to draw him like how he looked at that moment: less collected and polite, carefree. I only woke him up after I had finished my drawing, and told him to go to bed. He would only do so if I came with him, and so we ended up in his bed, cuddling before falling asleep in each other's arms.

I flipped the page again.

The next drawing, was one of Hannibal in his office, talking to a patient - Franklyn, I believed. Hannibal hadn't known I had been there, at first. I had hidden myself on his leveled library. I was just silently sitting there, drawing, without anyone noticing me. But after a while, he looked up, straight at where I was sitting. I froze, thinking he would be mad at me. But when he winked at me, I blew him a kiss and winked back at him. The corners of his mouth twitched a bit, but he managed to keep his composure in front of his patient. But when Franklyn left, he came up to the library, where we did some things that made my cheeks grow warm just to think about.

I kept flipping through my sketchbook, reliving the memories of the drawings. While doing this, I slowly began to realize something. Living with Hannibal, being with Hannibal, hadn't been so bad. He obviously loved me, I had no doubts about that anymore. My cheeks went a bit red with embarrassment as I thought of all the love I had run away from. There were a lot of people out there who would never experience this sort of love. I'd had it, and I had just thrown it away.

When I got to the latest drawing, I gasped in shock. This wasn't one of my drawings. Hannibal drew this. A tear ran down my cheek as I gazed upon the drawing. It was a drawing of me, of the day where we had met, at the opera. He had drawn me descending those grand entrance stairs, in my pretty turquoise dress. How had he drawn me like that? Had he drawn this just by memory? I was very impressed. But what really caught my attention were the lines of text written on the backside of the page.

To my Tori, the most beautiful star of the evening, of the world,

It's been exactly one year since this night, and I'm so happy you've given me the chance to get to know you, and love you. I never thought I would find someone to love me, a dull psychiatrist, but you've proven me wrong. For that, I will always be grateful to you. I hope you like the drawing. I love you.

Forever yours,

Hannibal

Silent tears ran down my cheek and my shaking hands made me put the sketchbook down. I couldn't believe I had never seen this! This must have been drawn about three or four days before I had left.

Now I really felt guilty. To him, I had been his entire world. He had loved me like he had never loved anyone or anything else, and I just left. I mean, fear was a pretty normal response, I guess, but what if I had stayed? Would we have been able to work it out? Would I have been able to accept it? I kind of accepted it now, but would I have been reasonable that moment? No, I wouldn't have. I had to go through all this to realize.

To realize I still loved him.

By the time he returned to my room, I had accepted the fact that I still loved him. I was all tense around him, caused by that realization. If he had noticed, he didn't say anything about it. To be honest, he was pretty quiet himself. Maybe he was just a bit tense because he was letting me out of the room.

He opened the door and invited me to go downstairs with him. We went to the kitchen and dining room first, where we ate together in silence. Tension was slowly building up between us, and came to an eruption when we went to his office.

We went there because I wanted a book to read from his library. He stood at his desk, watching me while I slowly walked over to the ladder leading to the leveled library. When I reached it, I turned around, not being able to keep quiet anymore.

"I um, found the drawing," I said, my voice a bit raspy.

He just regarded me, his expression blank, though I could see a glint of sadness in his eyes.

"I really like it, thank you," I continued, nervous because he didn't say anything.

A small but sad smile graced his face for a few seconds, before he sighed. "I'm glad you got to see it after all, though it might have been better if you'd seen it before…," he said, his voice soft and sad, before he turned his gaze away from me.

And that sadness was exactly what did it at that moment. I decided I didn't want to see him like that anymore. I mustered up all my courage and started talking.

"Hannibal," I said, wanting him to look at me. He did, his eyes still sad but also curious. "I think today was the best time for me to find it."

When I saw the confusion flooding his expression, I swallowed, but continued talking.

"All this, everything we went through, everything I went through, the past month, was exactly what I needed to realize," I said, my voice steady.

Hope filled his expression and turned his face in the most hopeful one I had ever seen. "To realize what?" he asked me softly.

I looked him straight in the eyes when I said with a steady voice, "To realize I still love you."

His eyes widened and he started to walk up to me.

"And I don't care what you are and the things you've done, I should have realized earlier-" I said, but was interrupted by his lips pressing down on mine.

The initial shock of surprise didn't last long, for I closed my eyes and eagerly kissed him back. I put my hands around his neck, while he pulled his arms around my waist, hungrily pulling me closer against him.

While kissing him, everything fell into place, and I couldn't help but think of one thing.

This is where I belong.