Part Thirty-Seven: Fonder Hearts

"How's Mickey? I haven't seen him in a while," I ask Mandy at school.

"He's finally out of the house, almost fully recovered," says Mandy.

"What's wrong with him?" Lip asks, he lights up a cigarette in the hallway. He's going to get in trouble, but I don't think he cares.

"Dad pistol whipped him," says Mandy.

"Why would he do that?"

"Why does anyone need a reason to pistol whip Mickey," says Mandy.

I can't stop thinking about him. I haven't seen him since that night, and I think he's avoiding me. I thought maybe a few weeks would be enough time, but this is drawing on a month. I doodle Mickey's name on my notebook and hate myself for it.

"I think he's avoiding me," I tell Mandy in class.

"Who?"

"Mickey."

"I didn't know you were friends," says Mandy.

"Well, we work together. He hasn't shown up for work. I was getting worried."

"Don't worry about Mickey," says Mandy. She starts talking about Lip and how Karen is back in town and that's a problem. If I were Karen, I'd stay well away from the Milkoviches. You try to take what is there's and you're in trouble.

After school, I start proactively searching for Mickey. I have a good idea where to start looking. I go to the building where we had target practice. I hear someone firing a gun. With my heart thudding in my chest, I run as fast as I can into the building. It is Mickey. He's shooting at beer cans. He looks tired and beaten.

"So you've been shot twice because of me and pistol whipped," I try to make a joke, but he isn't responding. "Would you look at me?" Nothing. I try to touch him. He pretends he doesn't notice. "So are we done then? Is it over? Your father catches us and we're over?"

I think I hear Mickey sniffle. I touch his arm. He stops firing his gun for a moment. He looks at me for just a brief moment before firing his gun again. I shove him. "Ignore me then." I walk away. I can barely walk. I feel faint. I want to break down. It can't end this way.

Ryan is working today at Kash 'N' Grab. He is sitting behind the counter when I walk in. He perks up a bit. "Hey, I thought you had the day off?"

"Mickey's avoiding me," I say.

"I know," says Ryan.

"You know? And you're okay with that?"

"I'm not the go-between, Ian. Just give Mickey some time."

It's not that easy. I want to be with him so badly. I turn to leave. Ryan stops me. "Here," he says. He slides a box of Reese's Pieces across the counter to me. "Don't give up."

I smile and take them happily. I got your message, Mick. I want to be with Mickey. I don't give a shit what his dad thinks. Mickey and I belong together. As hard as the universe is trying to keep us apart, I am trying to keep us together. I want to be with him, and I know he wants to be with me. I just know it.

"Maybe I should talk to Terry," I suggest.

"No. He'll kill you, Ian," says Ryan, "I'm staying at their house. Trust me, he'll fucking kill you."

I nod. Ryan doesn't let me leave until I agree to stay very far away from the Milkovich house. At home, the family is trying to come up with a way to keep the house. Our cousin Patrick filed a fake will of our Aunt Ginger. Now he is trying to take our house. Fiona is looking for a new house, but it will be really far away and I don't want to leave Mickey.

"We could kill him," suggests Carl. Carl would be the one to suggest something like that. Debbie writes it on the list anyway. I zone out. I can't focus on this because I'm thinking of Mickey. Lip notices. Lip always notices. He rubs my back.

"We aren't killing Patrick," says Fiona.

"Why not?" says Jimmy, "I mean, honestly, it could work."

The only thing we can think of is to get Mickey and the Milkovich brothers to scare him a little. I wish I was the one asking instead of Mandy. I get up. I can't stand sitting here thinking about Mickey.

I walk outside to get some fresh air and spot someone across the street staring at the house. It's Mickey. He walks closer to me. I climb down the stairs two at a time and meet him. He pins me against the side of my house and kisses me like it's his last fucking opportunity to do so.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I ask after the kiss.

But Mickey just kisses me again. He gropes me like he never has before. He shows ownership. I don't mind being manhandled by him. I'm just happy he's here. He tastes like bacon and beer. After the kiss, Mickey steps back.

"Please talk to me," I say.

But he doesn't. He leaves without a single word. Lip puts his hand on my shoulder. I don't need to look to know it's him. Lip squeezes my shoulder and doesn't speak. He just stays with me. I sit beside him on the back steps of the house. We pass a joint back and forth in silence.

"We're fucked for life when it comes to relationships," Lip says.

"Who're we blaming this time?" I ask taking the joint.

"I think on this one we have to blame ourselves."

"How about I blame you and you blame me," I suggest.

"That works. Is he really worth it though?" Yes. Fuck yes. Oh my God, fucking yes. I know my eyes give it away. I don't even have to answer. "Jesus, Ian, you really have it bad."

"Is Mandy worth it?"

"She's cute, and she's really good at fucking," says Lip.

"She's more than that," I go on the defensive.

"Sorry. I just haven't figured out how I feel about her."

"You're still hung up on Karen," I point out.

"Fuck you, no I'm not."

"Yeah, you are, Lip."

"When are you going to tell me what happened between you and 'Fuck U-Up'?"

"Soon," I say, "Don't change the subject."

Lip and I sit on the porch for awhile thinking of ways to get Patrick off our backs. The murdering Patrick idea of Carl's really seems like the only logical decision, but we try to avoid it. Lip and I throw out humorous and asinine ideas that are never going to work just to pass the time. We help each other take our minds off our relationships.

A/N: Lip and Ian are my favorite relationship on Shameless. I think their friendship is so beautiful. So I try to write it as much as I can. I feel like Lip and Ian have the deepest bond of all the Gallaghers.