"What?' He looked at almost disgusted but she seen something else there too.

"How stoned are you?" She repeated d without backing down.

"I'm not…"

"…Don't Jon. You can lie to anyone else but not me."

"I'm fine." He said walking around her.

"Whatever." She walked faster, instead of stopping with him at the bag carousel she walked passed him. "I'll meet you outside."

What the hell was he thinking? She wondered as she set outside the airport. If she hadn't walked away she would have hit him! She had miss him more than she had missed her dog when they had moved but the person who stepped off that plan was different and she would admit it scared her a little. Her mother had bouts of alcoholism after almost every guy she'd been with left and she seen the same look in Jon's eyes that she had always seen in Hope's. It made her sick. How could he do this to himself? After all these years of trying to be better than his own parents and he went and did something so damn stupid.

"Ready?" Jon asked coming to stand beside her.

"Whatever." She stood to walk away.

"Wait a damn minute. What the hell is wrong with you?" He stepped in her way, she'd either have to fight him to get out of the corner of the walls or scream, she wasn't afraid of him so she tried to get passed him. "Nope."

He might have weighed less but he was still strong and she knew he'd always be bigger and stronger than her but she could at least fight him with words. "What's wrong with me? Jon have you looked at yourself lately?"

"I'm fine." But he did move away from her. "Can we just go please?"

"Fine. Not like I want to get arrested for having a fight at an airport." He held out his hand. "What?"

"The keys."

She laughed harshly. "You be honest and you'll get them. Other than that I don't have a death wish so you're shot gun."

"Bitch." He said throwing his bag into the back of the truck.

She rolled her eyes, she'd been called worse, hell she was pretty sure he'd called her worse. If he thought that was going to intimidate her he had another thing coming, she wouldn't back down from him and he should know that. She wouldn't sit back and watch him ruin his life, she just didn't know how she'd get him to admit to being addicted to something. And to top that off she didn't know what he was hooked on. She made a plan to figure it out and hoped she could save him before he did something even stupider than he was doing now.

By the time they got to her apartment Snowie had hatched a plan she knew Jon wouldn't touch his bag until the next day so she'd wait until he was asleep and then snoop in it. She just had to get him to go to sleep before she did. She didn't take the fact that she'd done doubles at the club for that last four days and nights into consideration.

"You hungry?" She might as well feed him.

"You going to poison it?"

She turned to glare at him. "You're not cute."

"Yes I am." He called back as she walked away.

"Damn you." She mumbled in the kitchen. Jon being Jon, just his normal goof ball sarcastic self was making her mad dissipate and she hated it. She wanted to be mad at him but she couldn't even stay mad that time he broke her favorite CD. "I'm screwed."

"Why?'

He was right behind her. She jumped. "Fuck, asshole."

"Why are you screwed?" He ignored the insault.

"Because..." The way he was looking at her was making her lose her inner battle. "Because I forgot I have to work tonight." Well that was weak.

"Liar." Damn he could always see through her. "Going to be honest?" He threw her words back at her as he moved closer.

"It's nothing." She swallowed as his lips met hers. His hands ran down her sides and back up, his hands cupping her breasts. "No. No, no." She tried to push him away.

"He raised his hand from where he had been nipped her neck. "No?"

"I'm supposed to be mad at you and I can't be mad about anything if you're touching me." She tried once more to push him away.

He gripped her hips and lifted her up to the counter top. "Why are you supposed to be mad?" He nuzzled her neck and nipped at a sensitive area.

"Oh…" She bit her lip to keep a moan from escaping and tried to think about being mad at him. "Because…mmm…you lied to me."

"I didn't lie. I had had any since I boarded the plane."

She did push him back then, or rather he allowed her to push him back. "So you admit it now! Jesus Jon!"

"Not now please." He begged as he pulled at her buttons on her shirt.

She crossed her arms. "If not now when? You have a time frame in mind? Or are you just going to see how far you can go before you either implode or lose everything? I mean really, I want to know so I'm not surprised when it happens!" She tried to get off the counter.

He would let her, instead he pressed into her harder. "I'm not going to implode, Snow White. I can handle myself."

"Bull shit! Are you even in the same weight category anymore?" He shook his head. "But you can handle yourself? Sure Jon." She seen a different look in his eyes, one that made her feel bad for yelling at him. She put her hands on his cheeks and made him look at her. "Jon, you're not okay. Even Emma noticed it the other day. I had to tell her you had gotten food poisoning I couldn't tell her that I was pretty sure you're hooked on something, she would have blabbed to Scott who would have told god knows how many people."

"Still looking out for me, huh?" He dropped his head.

"Of course. I might be an idiot for it but I'll try to protect you from you if I have too. I love you, even if I think you've lost your ever loving mind." She dropped her arms and rested her hands on his chest. "Can you just answer one question?"

"Why?" He guessed her question. "I don't really know. I mean I fucked my knee up good and at the time the meds got me through two more matches and then I just didn't stop even when it didn't hurt. It was like I was invincible."

"You don't need drugs for that. Jon you're amazing in the ring." She ran her hands over his shoulders and snaked them around his neck. "What do you want to do?"

He looked at her as if she had just asked the stupidest question ever. "What would you do?"

"I wouldn't have done it to begin with." She answered honestly, know he knew what he had to do.

"I don't…"

"Jon." She hugged him close. "I won't leave you I swear." She could read just as good as he could her. "In fact I worked doubles for the past week so I could take off for a while when you came home and because I'm going to go check out a school in Philly."

"I don't deserve you, you know that?"

"Oh I know." She smiled and kissed him. "You'll be okay."

"Can I have one thing before I have to think this?" She kissed him, licking the seam of his lips asking for entrance. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

He picked her up making her squeal. "One problem. Where's the bedroom."

She started laughing. "Door on the right."

He tossed her on the bed and stood over her, watching her, laughing with her. Snowie laid there laughing after on her side half on her back. Her shirt was open just at the right angle that he could see the full cup of her pink lace bra. He growled and then pounced at her. Snowie leaned back to keep from getting completely smooched by him and her shirt revealed even more of her taunt body. He kissed her once and then laid beside her, trailing his fingertips across her torso, remembering the feel of her. She shivered and he smirked.

He unsnapped her jeans with one hand. "Impressive."

"I can be."

She sucked in a breath when he put his hand down into her jeans and pressed into her through her panties. He moved them to the side and slipped one finger between her folds and she let a small moan escape her lips. He instructed her to take off her clothes and soon they were both nude. She laid beside him and retuned the slow, agonizing torture of tracing his body with her fingers. She palmed his hard length and was simultaneously wetter than she had been. He reached for her and once again dipped one finger into her folds.

"Okay I can't do this slow shit." She said climbing on top of him.

"Woman with goals I like that." He smirked.

She angled his cock and slid herself onto him. They both moaned at the feel of finally being together again. He held her still before letting her move just to enjoy the feel of her surrounding him. Snowie leaned back and braced herself on his strong thighs as he ran his hands up her sides. She wasn't slow or easy when he finally let her move, she was wild and untamed. She bounced on his cock and he let her resting his hands on her hips until she came. When she tried to stop to actually enjoy the orgasm he gripped her hips and pounded into her.

The last time was almost bitter sweet she was on bottom with her legs around his waist and her arms around his ribs snaking their way up his back. They kissed like they needed each other more than air. Their eyes stayed glued to one another and somehow her fingers and his found themselves linked. He had officially pinned her to the bed and picked up his pace. He had her moaning and withering beneath him in no time and he followed coming hard not long after she did.

He rolled to the side so he wouldn't crush her. He found himself thinking he hadn't taken the pills in how many hours she'd been with him but he was fine. He knew it wouldn't be that easy but damn it'd be nice if it was. He looked at his sleepy Snow White.

"What?" She asked.

He shook his head, He'd be damned if he told her he was terrified. She knew though and curled up next to him and kissed his jaw. She didn't talk she didn't have to, she just laid her head on his shoulder and intertwined their fingers. They both fell asleep soon enough. When she woke Jon was sitting in the chair be the dresser holding a small bottle in one hand his head in the other. She watched him and he looked up at her. Pain etched into his face when he looked up at her.

"Withdrawal symptom one. Headache." She stood up and went to him. She noticed the bottle wasn't an aspirin or ibuprofen bottle it was a prescription bottle. "Jon?"

She would let him make the call it was the only way but damn she wanted to take it away from him and flush the pills. He only looked up at her. He flexed his fist then startled her when he threw the bottle across the room the pills spilling on to the hard wood when the bottle shattered on the wall. She looked behind her, sure enough little orange specs that had been the bottle covered the floor and some were embedded into the wall. He muttered a curse and rose to his feet.

"Leave it. I'll go get you some ibuprofen it won't help much but it will a little." When she came back in to the room he was curled in a ball on his side of the bed. "Here."

He set up only to take the water. "I don't want anything else."

"You're going to have to take something, Babe. I know what you're thinking but you have to take the edge off a little. Please for me, don't make it worse than it has to be." She knelt in front of him.

He growled but said nothing as he took the pills from her. She stood up and took to cleaning up the mess, what could be put in trash went there but the pills she wasn't taking the chance they were going in the toilet. Her stomach growled when she had finished so she took a quick shower before heading to the kitchen. She knew nightmares and night tremors would soon follow but he should have a few hours maybe a day, only because he hadn't been using that long. She didn't know how they would affect him afterwards and that part scared her.

After her shower she went back to the room to get clothes and to check on Jon. He was thankfully asleep so she went to the kitchen. With her sandwich in hand Snowie walked to the couch and turned on the TV but kept it low. Snowie blankly stared at the TV waiting for the next thing. What many, including Jon, didn't know was she to step her mom through withdrawal before several times, sadly helping Jon would be a lot different though she wasn't wishing he'd just die so she could get on with her life, she was ashamed of the fact that she'd wished that on her mother now but as a kid not too much.

There was not a lot to do so she decided since she had to do laundry she'd do his too. There were so many shirts and jeans that were so blood stained she stopped trying to scrub them and trashed them. There was no reason to kill herself on the damned things. As she put all she could save in washer and closed the lid she wondered what he had done that hadn't been filmed. Snowie sighed as she hefted the trash across the hall to the trash shoot. She left the doors open in case he yelled for her.

She looked at the clock when she walked back in, 12 pm. She started cleaning the house and packing what she could for her trip. "Damn. I can't leave him. And no way in hell am I going to tell anyone he doesn't want to know." She looked up how long the symptoms could last. "If this is right he should be fine in a week. Why am I talking to myself?"

She was losing it. She was tired and worried and the running to the room every five seconds was wearing her out. She turned off her phone and set it beside his on the kitchen cabinet and turned off the TV and closed the curtains and locked the door on her way to her room. She knew she'd regret it but she needed a nap. She nap ended when she heard Jon scream in pain. She jumped and looked at the clock. Some nap! She'd been asleep for almost fifteen hours.

"Jon?" She asked as he turned on the light. He was still asleep but his face had pain written all over it. "So much for a day."

It had been seven days of nightmares and night tremors, puking, anger and at times down right anxiety and depression. He refused to eat about the third time he threw up. She was lucky she got the fifteen hours of sleep that first night she hadn't gotten any for worry for him. She'd spent her time by his side, reading or cleaning the already spotless house. He thrashed in his sleep and murmured something about being hit or not being hit but she'd lost count how many times he'd woken himself up screaming, in a cold sweat and shaking. She didn't ask if he was okay only hugged him to her until he stopped shaking or fell back asleep one. She wished she could take the pain away, from his past and from the present.

On the only time she'd actually fallen asleep he had woke her up thrashing she knew not to wake him and when he turned to the other side she put her arm over him. She was shocked when that seemed to settle him for a little while. She fell back asleep only to wake to her front door being banged on.

"Shit!" She whispered.

She jumped out of bed and make sure she was dressed. "What?" She almost hit the door into the wall. Her mother was standing there with a cop. "Mom?"

"Snowie! Where have you been? I've called for days and been knocking for hours!"

"Miss are you alright?" The cop popped in.

If killing my mother isn't a crime then yes, she thought. "I'm fine. Jon, my boyfriend…" She threw in for the cop, "…came home and so I turned off my phone. As for not answering the door. I was asleep so I guess I didn't hear it." She was praying Jon wouldn't have a nightmare while they were standing there. Her mother looked like she'd been hit in the head with a pan, duh and cop just looked around her. She moved in his way. "Sir, I'm fine my mother freaked out that's all, you can leave now. Mother, I'll explain everything…as soon as he does."

Hope walked into the apartment and waited for her explanation. Snowie looked at her mom and glanced toward her room. She'd have to tell her she just prayed Jon would forgive her. She told her mom everything and in the end Hope only said to call her when she could. Snow let her mother out and relocked the door. When she turned around a very exhausted Jon stood behind her. She was happy to see his color was almost normal again.

"Hey Babe."

"Hi." He rubbed his hand across his face. "I'm going to regret this but got anything to eat?"

"Let's start with a shower if you're up for it."

"Sounds better than food." He kissed her on the cheek and walked back down the hall.

She smiled hoping the worst was over. His attitude had almost returned to normal and while he hadn't eaten the vomiting had stopped and most of the nightmares too. He'd gone from every few minutes to hours and he'd gone six hours before the one before her mom showed up. She knew she still had to deal with his temper after dealing with her mom she knew that would go off even after everything else had stopped and since Jon was already a hot head she'd be careful not to set him off. Mostly because it would be different than his normal temper it could and probably be worse, she wanted to avoid that.

She knocked on the bathroom door. "Jon?"

"Yeah?"

"Breakfast is ready." He opened the door and she thought for a moment the old sparkle in his eyes was back but she didn't want to wish too hard too fast. She smiled at him. "Come on ya wet dog."

"Dog?" He shook his still dripping wet hair at her. "How's that for dog?"

She grimaced and wiped the water off. "Payback is a bitch, Jonathan."

As they ate an almost bland breakfast she watched him this was the first time in the seven days he'd made it passed the bathroom. He had a guilty look on his face and she wondered why. He set his plate aside and leaned back in his chair.

"Finished?" He nodded. "Another headache?"

"No. You know I remember a little of what I said to you."

She frowned, "Jon, I know you didn't mean any of it. Calling me a glorified hooker almost got you beat though, I'll admit that. But it's all water under the bridge."

"Wait, I called you a glorified hooker?"

"Yep right after you admitted to cheating on me. But I don't know if you serious or just being an ass. So now that your head is clearer, I want to know."

He looked down and that told her all she needed to know. She'd know him long enough to know his tells. She took a deep breath and set down beside him. He looked up at her but didn't say anything he just set there staring into her eyes. His blue-gray eyes swam with more emotion then she'd ever seen before. She wouldn't ask again he would tell he sober or not at all. And then she remembered his emotion level would be riding high so she really didn't push.

"Yeah I did." He ran his hands through his hair and stood up. "Fuck!"

She was in now might as well go all in. "When?"

He was pacing the kitchen floor. "The third night I was there. Mac the promoter took a bunch of us out and bought me a girl by that time I was pretty much drunk off my ass and didn't care, I guess, to think about it."

"The third night? That's when you screwed up your knee, too." She said almost whispering the words.

"That was after. Let's face it I'm a fuck up. Hell I'm worse than that."

She looked at him, the serenity in his words and on his face almost killed her. She stood up and walked to him. She ran one hand up his chest and laced her hand with his while she thought of the words to say. "You are no worse than any other human. Fuck, Jon, you're better than a third of the world population."

"Oh yeah? Did you cheat on me while I was gone?" She shook her head slowly. "Didn't think so. And have you met a third of the world's population?" Once again she shook her head. "So how am I better than that?"

He was starting to hurt her hand but she didn't dare move. "Because about a third of the fucking population is all criminals. So that's a start." He just stared at her with those storm cloud colored eyes. "Do you want me to be mad? To hate you?"

He said nothing for a long while but put his hand on the side of her face. "You should."

She exhaled in disbelief. "No. I am a little angry with you for cheating actually beating the hell out of you comes to mind but I don't and I can never hate you. Jon I've been in love with you since I was eleven, I didn't understand it then, of course, I just knew you were meant to be in my life." She looked up at him. "Remember the night we met?"

He almost smiled. "How could I forget?"

"Well what you don't know is later when I was lying in bed thinking that I could have been killed or worse if you hadn't stopped me."

"Yeah, so I'm your hero?"

She smiled. "No and yes. You're my guardian angel Jon. You always have been from that night to beating the holy hell out of Randy Biggs in the eighth grade when he tried to rape me in the movie theater. And let's not forget almost killing Matt when he tried to stop me from leaving when I moved in with you."

He grinned. "That was fun. But what if I'm just a possessive asshole and not what you think I am?"

"Oh I know you are that! But my point is no matter what you've been there for me and yes like I said I want to almost kill you for cheating but that will go away. You are an idiot for sure but I love you. And actually I think that makes me an idiot. So maybe we belong together just for the simple fact that we are idiots when it comes the other."

Jon stared at her and stared right back into those blue blue pools. God she loved his eyes. He reached for her and she went to him. He ran his hand through her dark hair. Snowie rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. He looked down and pressed a quick kiss to the tip of her nose. She wrinkled it and he laughed.

"What would I do without you?"

"You'd be fine, without me."

"Nah, Snow White I'd be dead without you."