"Sluurp."

"..."

"Sluuuurp."

"...Pumpkin."

"Slurrr- AHAK! KAHK-AHAK-AHAK!"

"You need to breathe air, not your food, Pumpkin!"

"S-sorry, dad." Pumpkin set her bowl of noodles down as she looked over at her father, nose deep in a news paper. "Hey, dad?"

"Hm."

"Can.. you put that down at the table? Your food's getting cold."

"This is an important article! Of which they've gotten everything wrong!" He slammed the paper down on the table and pointed to the article he was reading. "We are not going out of business, and they mispelled my name! It's not 'Isao'! It's Iwao. I-WA-O! Good thing they didn't misspell the company name! Just because we run Kissin Noodles, doesn't mean we ARE Kissin! We're Sagano, dammit!"

"Dad, calm down, please. I just want to eat my food."

"At a time like this, you want to relax and eat? No time!" He stood and went back into his study with the paper, sliding the door shut behind him with a loud thunk.

Sighing to herself, Pumpkin packaged up his food and left it there for him later. She had to keep her frustrations at a check, otherwise she'd blow up, and the last person she wanted to be upset at was her father, at least not in a manner that would make him more upset than he already was. She'd deal with it in the morning. But tomorrow was- "Auuuhgg!" She leaned her head back as she stood at the kitchen sink, soapy hands submerged in water. "Club starts tomorrow.. daaammiiit." It was a let down, but she had to admit she was kind of excited for it. Haruhi's secret, Tamaki's overwhelmingness, the twin's mischievous acts.. but then there was Kyouya. Shuddering, she shook the image of his mean glare from her mind as she thought about serving tea instead. She'd always wanted to try a commoner's job like waistressing. That could be fun, right? Tomorrow would be fun.

No. Not fun. Not in the least. She changed her mind. Nope! Not even a little bit of fun! She'd slept on her hair funny so it was shaped weird, her pantyhose kept rolling around her waist and twisting, it was HOT, she had to find her own way to school since her father was still too cheap to hire a driver for her, and to top it all that off.. she couldn't afford the food in the cafeteria. And that wasn't it, either. Each class was giving her difficulty. Especially with Ohtori sitting next to her. As much as she tried to concentrate, nothing made sense. And for the first time in her life, she struggled with math, and now they were introducing shapes and other things! Fantastic! Shoulders slumped, she left her class after the rest of the students had left and was making her way down the hall when she heard the unmistakable voices of none other than the twins behind her.

"Purple? Why that outrageous color?" They asked in unison.

Her face went red in embarrassment.

"Making a statement?"

"How bold." Those twins were annoying, despite their good looks.

"IT'S NATURAL!" Pumpkin exploded, gripping her hands tight at her sides as she turned around.

"Ooooh?" Asked one.

"Does that mean..." Started the other one.

"The carpet matches the drapes?" They asked in unison.

Anger marks popping up, Pumpkin opened her mouth to respond when both boys received a heavy fist on both their heads. "Mind your own business!" Haruhi shouted as she seemed a bit red in the face, too. "That was completely inappropriate even from you two!" She stormed off in the direction of the Music Room. In response, the twins shrugged at each other before asking something about a time of month before following Haruhi. These people were in her club. This was going to be a looong few years.

But, Haruhi was thoughtful. It made her feel a little more at ease. Smiling a little to herself, Pumpkin looked down at the paper in her hands. Today's classes were finished, thankfully, but she hadn't yet decided on a club to join. Oh that's right. She didn't get a choice in the matter. "Auuuhg."

At the Music Room, she pushed open the doors. "H-hello?" An exotic wood smell almost burned her nostrils. Inside, rose petals floated around her as the light levels balanced.

"Welcome to the Host Club!" Seven voices in unison greeted her.

"Ah- ah-" She twitched at the scene. "A reverse harem!?"

Sand covered areas of the room as colorful blankets hung from the ceiling and draped to the walls. But, it was the attire that caught her completely off were shirtless except for Haruhi, turbans meticulously wrapped around their heads and loose pants adorned their legs, leather sandals on their feet. Extravagantly over the top.

"You're late!" Tamaki shouted, pointing to her.

"Sorry!"

"A thousand yen for every moment you were late."

"So- wait, what!?"

"Yea, Kyouya-senpai's not been happy at all since yesterday. Good job, Purple-chan!" The twins chimed at the same time.

"Don't call me that!"

"Don't you need to get changed, Purple-chan?" It was cute when Hani said it, but even he was getting on her nerves.

"Whatever."

"No, you should change. Don't rip it though, you certainly don't want your debt higher, do you?" So Haruhi hadn't forgiven her for yesterday's double-debt-fiasco.

"Aren't you revelling a little too much in her despair, Haruhi?" Hani whispered to Haruhi. "I'll send you fancy tuna on the weekend!"

"Mmmmh. Come on, Purple-chan."

"I said don't call me that!" Haruhi already had Pumpkin by the arm, dragging her into the the changing room.

Eye twitching, Pumpkin tried not to scratch at her arms. "A.. belly.. dancing.. suit..?"

"Oooh, exotic!" Tamaki nodded in approval.

"Pervert!" The twins called out, though they had a similar look on their face, too.

"This will certainly attract male customers. Be sure to act like you're enjoying yourself, hm?" Kyouya certainly seemed pleased, though probably with possible monetary figures.

"Haruhi, how am I supposed to do this, it shows so much skin!" Pumpkin gritted through her teeth.

"Don't worry too much about it, you'll be fine!" Haruhi grinned, though pumpkin got the distinct feeling she was brushing her off.

"Ehh.."

"Places, everyone!" Tamaki called out. "They're coming!"

"Where do I go?!" Pumpkin frantically ran up to the crowded couch and when she found no place to sit, plopped herself on the floor, right at Kyouya's feet. Shit.

The door opened then, and in came a bustling of excited customers.

"Welcome, to the Ouran Harem!"

Pumpkin breathed in wrong and started coughing on saliva.

This is a very late update, but I'm excited to see what you guys think of this revival!