Author's note: remix of the fic "Wasteland," which chronicles Archer's time before and after he became a guardian. I was thinking about how all of that would change with Rin beside him, and this fic came from that. While this is published separately on AO3, I decided to include this in this collection here, for completeness' sake.
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1.
The men they're traveling with sit down and make camp, tossing back shots and trading war stories with each other, voices growing louder and more insistent as they brag across the campfire.
Shirou doesn't sit with the others. While the others carouse and laugh and pull grinning ladies onto their lap, Shirou sits and holds the chain of his pendant like a rosary, running his thumb along the smooth edge of red stone and the tiny metal clasp connecting it. From the corner of his eye, he sees one of the women leaning suggestively against one of the men. She bends over to whisper in the man's ear, and Shirou notices just how close her lips are from touching him. Her hand stays lightly on the man's chest. The man smirks, knowingly. They go into a tent, holding hands.
It's the sort of scene that would make Shirou feel lonely if not for Tohsaka, and quietly he searches her out in the darkness, watching as she walks toward him, holding out two paper plates and a canteen of water.
"Someone needs to tell that girl he'll give her gonorrhea," Rin says, and she sits down next to him. She offers him a plate, which Shirou takes, gratefully.
"What's this?" Shirou says. Rin shrugs.
"Some sort of dead animal. I think Boris shot it with a rifle or something."
"Huh," Shirou says, and Rin stretches beside him.
It's funny: Rin gets along with these men better than Shirou does. He watches from a distance as Rin loudly laughs and goads and out-matches these men, using her magic to beat them in sparring sessions and hand-to-hand combat. "I heard you beat these pussies arm-wrestling," one of the men says, bluntly. He holds out an arm. "I'm not gonna get beat by some puny little girl."
Rin wins easily, slamming the guy's arm against the table.
"Who's next?" Rin says, and Shirou just smiles to himself and shakes his head, Rin grinning victoriously and waiting at the table.
xXx
.
The room they're staying in has a small bathroom and running water, and Rin runs around the place, clapping her hands and squealing. "Hey Shirou!" Rin says, and her head pops out of the bathroom. "They have a toilet and it flushes. I don't have to squat over a hole anymore!"
"It still looks pretty disgusting," Shirou says. Rin grins, giddy as a kid. Up until now, they'd been sleeping outside, pitching tents and roaming across the desert. But their base of operations shifts and Shirou somehow finds a place in the middle of an overcrowded slum. The apartment is small and cramped and the floor is streaked with dirt and grease stains, but Rin runs around the place like it's a palace.
"You know how hard it is, Shirou, having to pee outside? You're a guy, you don't think about things like this." Rin grins at the grimy showerhead and the dirt-smudged tile. "I can't wait to take a real shower!"
Shirou steps in the bathroom, and catches his reflection in the mirror.
It's been awhile since Shirou's looked into a proper mirror - a few months, at the very least. He would shave hunched over a broken piece of glass, using his hands to feel around his chin and asking Rin to take a look for him. "Did I miss a spot?" he'd ask, and Rin would sigh and shake her head. He barely grew a beard anyway, so at most he'd shave maybe once or twice a week.
The reflection, though, startles him.
"What's wrong?" Rin says, and Shirou looks back into the mirror. Dark skin and white hair, his shirt stretched tight over broad shoulders and muscled arms. He runs his hands through his hair, combing it upwards.
"Shirou?"
"When did I start looking like Archer?" Shirou says.
"Archer?" Rin frowns. "You don't look anything like Archer."
"Are you sure?" Shirou frowns again and in the mirror Archer frowns back at him.
"Uh..." Rin squints, deciding. "Say my name," Rin says.
"Huh?"
"Say 'Rin,'" Rin says.
"Rin," Shirou says. Rin's hand flies to her mouth.
"Oh my god," Rin says. "You sound just like him."
"I do?"
"Say it again. Oh! And say something sarcastic this time, that way I can really tell."
"You're making fun of me, aren't you?" Shirou says. Rin wraps her arms around his waist, pressing herself against his back.
"Maybe just a little," Rin says. Shirou frowns and she kisses him sweetly on the cheek. "You still look like the same stupid Shirou to me."
"Maybe you've just been around me so much, you haven't noticed the change?"
"Archer didn't have a neck," Rin says.
"Uh-"
"And he was really old," Rin adds.
Shirou sighs. "I'm not sure if I should feel reassured or offended," Shirou says.
"...Are you purposefully imitating him right now, or are you just talking? Because you sound like him and it's really kinda freaky."
Shirou rolls his eyes.
He does pull-ups on a makeshift bar across the doorway. The room is hot and humid as he works; he breathes. His skin is damp and pieces of hair stick to the sweat of his forehead.
He does one hundred push-ups; sit-ups; pull-ups. His breath comes out in tight spurts, the hard muscles of his back and arms tightening with each movement. His hands are rough and calloused as he grips the bar.
"You should come to bed," Rin says. She stretches out on the cot against the wall. "Although, I'm not sure it'll fit the both of us. We might have to sleep on the floor."
"You can take the bed." Shirou's voice is tight with effort as he does push-ups with one hand, balancing himself on his toes and pushing himself upright. "I'm still working, anyway."
"You don't want to christen the cot?"
"Huh?" Shirou pushes up on his arm, glancing back at her. Rin grins at him.
"Come here," Rin says, and she pats the mattress, invitingly. "I want to celebrate actually sleeping indoors."
"A tent is kind of indoors," Shirou says, and he sits next to her.
As it turns out, making love on a bed meant for one person isn't very easy, and it's only after a few disastrous attempts that a pissed off Rin pushes him off and yanks a blanket onto the floor. "There!" Rin says. "Now neither of us are going to fall off."
"I thought you wanted to christen the cot?" Shirou says.
"It's christened, get down here," Rin says, and she holds out her arms.
(They're mid-coitus, Shirous' face buried into Tohsaka's shoulder, when a cockroach scuttles across the floor where Rin's head is. "Oh my god, Shirou!" Rin says, and proceeds to kill it with all the magic force she can muster.
"I'm taking the cot," Rin says, and she pushes Shirou back on the floor.)
xXx
.
Tohsaka's reputation grows faster than his.
No one thinks about the quiet one, the man who never says no. No one really understands how someone can willingly give his life for something he has no stake in. But Tohsaka makes it very clear:
"I'm in it to win," she says, and the other mercenaries understand, because they too don't shy away from a good fight. Tohsaka grins and laughs and carouses with them, and Shirou hangs in the background, palming the amulet, quietly.
(He knows that Tohsaka's ability to make friends with these men helps; if not for her, no one would think twice about sticking it to the Sad Boy, but because he's Tohsaka's Guy, they give him a respectful berth. No one would want to cross Tohsaka.)
xXx
.
It must be a sixth sense, but Tohsaka can always tell when he's feeling lonely.
He'll be sitting in a tent, or disassembling a rifle, when Tohsaka will unceremoniously lean against his back and press her cheek against his shoulder. It comforts him, her little errant touches, and he finds himself grateful whenever she impulsively squeezes his fingers or lets one gloved hand loop carelessly around the belt of his pants, because it's hard to hold hands wearing gloves; Tohsaka makes up for it by holding one of the belt loops of his pants, or tugging at his shirt sleeve as she walks next to him: the two of them versus the world.
They go on a mission. Insert themselves into another regional conflict, nearly get killed in the process and almost don't get paid. Rin yells at whatever general is withholding their money and somehow comes out with twice the original amount. ("You didn't threaten them, did you?" Shirou asks. Rin grins and he can see the glow of her reinforcement magic snaking around her arm.)
They lean under a makeshift shanty, shaded by a scrapyard lean-to that is propped against a rockface, and Rin takes a long swig of water before offering it to him, tugging the fabric of her red scarf over her nose and drawing her knees to her chest. She lets herself fall sideways until the weight of her body is resting squarely against him, and Shirou smiles to himself, squinting his eyes at the wind and readjusting his cloak.
xXx
.
2.
As it turns out, their apartment traps heat like an oven; there are times Rin opens the door and finds the apartment is hotter than it is outside.
It's hot and humid tonight, and the windstorm outside makes the night sky look like a burnt orange. There is a little electric fan that blows warm air over the little cot, but it's not enough to keep Rin from feeling sticky and overly warm.
It's hot and sticky and uncomfortable and all she wants to do is sleep, but she feels Shirou shyly kissing her shoulder, before reaching out to stroke her arm; he wants to make love to her, his hardness is poking the back of her thigh. Oh, fine, Rin thinks, because as a general rule, the sex is always good and she likes having sex with him, not to mention he's always so cute and grateful afterwards. Wordlessly, she rolls over onto her back and lets Shirou cover her with his body, pulling off her sticky top and shorts and fumbling to do the same.
The cot isn't big enough for the both of them, so Shirou tugs Rin's body to the edge of the bedframe while he kneels at the edge of the bed. She hooks her legs over his shoulders as he presses his face flush against the sticky skin of her thighs. The night is as thick and dark as a funeral shroud, and everything is quiet except for the hum of the fan, Rin's pleasured, shallow breathing and the slick, wet sounds of Shirou's fingers and tongue.
She's close, but it's hot and humid and the hot air burns her lungs as she breathes, it's distracting her. Twenty minutes in and Shirou is still doggedly laving her, switching from tongue to fingers, grinding the fleshy nub of her clit with the pad of his thumb.
"Shirou, I don't think...I don't think it's going to happen," Rin says, and Shirou looks up with an audible pop. "It's too hot. Do you just want to go ahead and finish inside me?"
"But you're close, right?" Shirou's hands are on her knees. "I can keep going."
"How's your jaw?"
"It's fine."
"How's your knees?" Rin says, and Shirou smiles.
"Just let me roll up a towel," Shirou says, and Rin lies back a little while Shirou rolls up the towel and kneels on it, cushioning himself from the floor.
"I can get on all fours," Rin says, but Shirou kisses the side of her hip, smiling against her thigh.
"You said you hate doing that because the cot isn't stable and the floor hurts your knees."
"Well, yeah," Rin says. Shirou gets back into position. "Are you sure?"
"I want to make you feel good." Shirou's mouth closes over her clit again, making her sigh and point her toes and grind against his mouth.
It takes a little over an hour before Rin finally orgasms, a series of sudden harsh contractions that nearly upends their shitty little cot and very nearly topples them both over in the process.
"Oh, geez," Rin says, and she bucks hard against Shirou's mouth, gasping a little and jerking against him.
It is really fucking hot. Bright beads of sweat roll down Rin's temples and her hair sticks to the side of her face. Shirou moves to enter her and she recoils from him instinctively, his hot skin sticky and gross against hers.
"O-oh. Tohsaka. Are you-?"
"Sorry, Shirou, it's just really hot," Rin says. Shirou frowns.
"Do you want to stop?"
"No, just point the fan over here. It's fine," Rin says, and Shirou sinks against her, gratefully.
His body is hot. That's the only thing Rin can think of. Even when he tries to angle his body away from her, she can still feel how sticky his skin is and how beads of sweat drips along the sides of his flanks and arms.
"Tohsaka?"
"Huh?"
"...am I hurting you?"
"No, of course not."
"We don't have to keep doing this." Shirou thumbs her cheek. "I can tell you're getting dry, anyway."
"You just spent an hour eating me out, I think I can handle a little body heat."
"It isn't a debt," Shirou says.
"Yeah, but I still don't think it's fair you don't get to come."
She rolls him onto his back and leans over his torso, palming his cock in her hand. She's about to dip down to take him into her mouth when Shirou stops her, quietly.
"You're tired," Shirou says. "You don't have to."
"You went down on me for an hour," Rin says. Shirou hugs her and grins into her ear.
"I like going down on you," Shirou says. And then, in his best Archer voice, "It makes me feel sexy."
Rin cracks up. "You're such an idiot!" Rin says. Shirou grins and kisses her, smiling into her hair.
"Go to sleep," Shirou says. "I'll take care of myself."
"Oh, Shirou. That makes me feel like such a jerk."
"Make it up to me tomorrow?"
"Okay." She cuddles sleepily against the pillow.
Maybe it's because of the mission earlier, or maybe because the strain of trying to come for over an hour has taken its toll, but Rin's eyes are heavy, and she feels herself drowsing, sinking into the cot. Dimly she's aware of him kissing the side of her face and pulling a light sheet over her, before lying down beside her on the cot.
She is about to drift off fully when she hears it: the rustling of sheets, quiet, ragged breathing, and the furtive sounds of flesh beating against flesh. His back is toward her, and he's lying at the very edge of the cot.
She rolls over and presses her body against his back, letting her hand trail down to the taut muscles of his stomach. She can feel him straining as he fists himself, and quietly she presses little kisses along the muscle of his back and shoulderblades, caressing his stomach with small little circles and absently tracing the line of his abdomen. He comes, exhaling sharply; she sees the muscles of his arm move as he goes to cover the head of his penis with his hand.
She gives him one last kiss on the shoulder, where her magic crest is, and he grins at her and reaches for a towel, wiping his hand.
(They eventually figure out a work-around; Shirou brings home a large pan and a block of ice, which he sets in front of a fan in a sort of makeshift air conditioner. "I could make a better one if I had a PVC pipe and a cooler," Shirou says, but Rin plops down in front of the fan and doesn't really care.)
xXx
.
Her period is late. Rin isn't too concerned, but when she makes the mistake of eating spoiled meat and spends the night throwing up because of it, Shirou makes his way to one of the street markets and finds a cigarette stand that also sells pregnancy tests.
"Oh, Shirou." Rin sighs while Shirou holds the paper bag to his chest like a lifeline, his eyes wide and hopeful at the same time. "I have an IUD. I wouldn't get your hopes up."
"But there's always a possibility, right?" Shirou clutches the bag protectively. "It wouldn't hurt just to check."
The test, of course, is negative. Shirou looks sad and Rin hugs him, kissing his cheek and fluffing his hair.
"Don't be sad, be happy," Rin says. "I couldn't have a kid in the middle of the desert."
"I know, but..." Shirou sags. "I just thought...I thought it would be nice."
"Shirou."
"Sorry. You're right," Shirou says, and Rin nods, emphatically.
They're lying in the cot tonight. It's hot again, but Rin doesn't have the heart to make Shirou sleep on the floor.
"Ne, Tohsaka?"
"Hm?"
"I was thinking...maybe you could get the IUD taken out."
"Well that'd be pretty stupid," Rin says. "We're in the middle of a war zone."
"Well I was thinking maybe we could go back to London? After this campaign, I mean," Shirou says.
Rin turns. Shirou is watching her quietly.
"Are you serious?" Rin says. Shirou nods. "Shirou?"
"Yeah." Shirou grins. "I'm serious."
"You want me to have your babies?"
He laughs softly against her forehead. "I was thinking of just having the one, first."
"Shirou!"
Rin hugs him. Or rather, tries to hug him, in whatever space that crappy cot can afford them. "Okay," Rin says. She kisses him and smiles. "After this campaign we'll go back to the Clock Tower and I'll get my IUD removed, and then we can have babies."
"Lots of babies," Shirou says. Rin giggles and hugs him, hard.
xXx
.
The night before Shirou is captured, they spend a quiet night in the apartment. Shirou warms up a can of stew and fusses with it over a hotplate while Rin sits in front of their lock box and counts the amount of money they've made that year. "Wow," Rin says. She waves a stack of bills in her hand. "We have enough to last a year, if we're frugal."
"Really?" Shirou gives the stew one last stir before he squats down beside her. Rin leans beside him, thoughtfully.
"I wrote to Luvia - she said she can get us our old apartment," Rin says. "All we need to do is get plane tickets. There's nothing else we have to take care of?" Shirou frowns, stroking his chin.
"The other factions are agitating," Shirou says. "Some of the men say there's a traitor in their ranks. We may have to stay low for a little bit."
"I'm fine with that. Either way we have an escape plan in place." Rin smiles and laces her fingers in his. "You're not disappointed having to leave the desert?"
"There's other ways to help people," Shirou muses. Rin grins.
"I knew it! All you had to do was get this all out of your system," Rin says. "Now you can open up a soup kitchen or something, do something useful for once."
"Soup kitchen?" Shirou says.
"Well you're good at cooking, right?"
"Hm. I suppose it'll have to do until I become a Hero of Justice."
"Ugh, don't remind me. Your stupid guardian pact. I'll have to think of a way to get around that." Rin rests her chin on his shoulder.
"Hey, Tohsaka?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for coming with me."
She squeezes his hand.
"No problem."